


The Door

by TopazShadowwolf



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/M, Fluff, Mild Cursing, Soriel, Violence, after neutral run where papyrus dies, flowey being flowey, may add more later, mostly soriel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2018-08-14 11:03:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 90,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8011189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TopazShadowwolf/pseuds/TopazShadowwolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The kid did it, they made their last run with a neutral ending. Though they fought many monsters only Papyrus and Asgore are dead. With Papyrus gone, Sans was unsure what he has left to live for. After leaving Asgore, Toriel was unsure if she would ever love again. Once they meet with a door no longer between them, both started to find happiness again. But Undyne is angry, Flowey is still alive, and something Sans has been avoiding threatens this peace. How long will their happiness last?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And so, the story begins

**Author's Note:**

> Hey. So you ready to jump in? Got your arm floaties? Good, good. Just want to make sure you are fully aware this is a SORIEL fic. I have never written a romance before and I think it shows... ANYWAY, moving on in this starting ramble. This got so long I made a spin off call: The Great and Wonderful Dr. W.D. Dadster which I will be also posting. Reading it may increase understanding of some of the characters but is not required reading to enjoy this story. ALSO, reading this is not required for enjoying TGaWDWDD as it can stand alone just fine.

 

_She didn’t often check the door that leads out of the ruins; in fact, she often ignored it. Walking down those stairs, through the hall, and standing before that gateway was always filled with painful memories. Chara, Asriel, Shanequa, Walter, Adam, Isabell, Marcella, Ruth… So much death surrounds her that it is unbearable._

_That door, that damned door! Toriel stood before it, teeth clenched and hands dancing with flames as she wanted so much to destroy it. Futile tears streamed down her face. As much as she wanted nothing more to do with the rest of the underground, and_ **_him,_ ** _she could not bring herself to be completely cut off._

_Shivering with built up emotion, she relaxes her magic before hugging herself and silently weeping at her own cowardice. She was a stupid, arrogant, foolish, irrational, silly, old woman. Curling up by the door she laid there, counting in her head every time she did something that proved that she never should have been a mother. Once through that list she remembered all the reasons why she was a terrible wife and why she never should have been queen._

_Midway through that list she heard a voice, it was soft and somewhat distant. The sound of crunching slow hinted the owner of the voice was getting closer. She sat up listening, angry that her self hatred was being interrupted and yet thankful for it at the same time. Curiosity kept her silent, as she wanted to know what the monster was doing by the door._

_There was a chuckle then two knocks on one of stone doors, “_ _knock, knock_ _” the voice said. She was considering telling the monster to go away and yet, his deep voice filled the loneliness in her soul. Before she could do anything the voice continued, “who’s there?” She was surprised and covered her mouth. Did he somehow know she was behind this door? “ketchup,” the voiced continued and then paused, “ketchup with me later and I’ll tell you.”_

_She bit her bottom lip and she understood now what this monster was doing. He had no idea she was there, his only audience to this comedy show of knock knock jokes. “let’s see, oh, yea, knock knock… who’s there?… police… police who?... police hurry up, it’s cold out here.” It had been a long time since Toriel had heard such jokes, and she struggled not to laugh_

_Oh, how she wanted to laugh, she really did. But she feared she may scare this potentially shy comedian away. And yet, she couldn’t help but notice he wasn’t laughing either, just chuckling now a then at his own jokes, but never really laughing. Someone needed to laugh. These jokes were good, and for them to be told and not laughed at felt wrong._

_“knock knock,” the deep voice said. He had stopped actually knocking on the door by then, most likely to spare his knuckles._

_“Who’s there?” it took every ounce of courage she had to utter those words. Her voice almost sounded hoarse for lack of use._

_There was a sound of crunching snow, he wasn’t moving away, turning perhaps? She must of startled him. “dishes.” the way he said it almost sounded like a question, as if he was unsure if he had really heard a voice just now._

_“Dishes who?”_

_There was another pause, shorter than the first, before he responded, “heh, dishes a really bad joke.”_

_That was a really bad joke, it was horrible. It was… it was… hilarious! Toriel burst into laughter, new tears squeezing out through shut eyes. They were different than the tears from earlier, they were happy. She laughed for that joke and all the jokes before, and to her surprise the monster on the other side was laughing too._

_“Sorry if I startled you,” she said sheepishly._

_“knock knock,” came the reply, not skipping a beat._

_“Who’s there,” it felt childish, but she was eager to hear what this one would be._

_“apolo”_

_“Apolo who?_

_“apology accepted.”_

 

* * *

 

 

The only sound to be heard was the echoing scuffle of his slippers as he ambled into the corridor. Just minutes before now, he had spoken to the kid, fighting back every dark desire in his body to tear them apart. That yearning had only been made worse as they declared to him, proudly, that this was their final ‘run.’ As if that, or what they have done, was anything to be proud of. He had felt time jump then, an odd hitch in reality, and there was a laugh when they spoke. Perhaps he had attacked them and they reloaded the world back to this point. If so, was it just once? Did they kill him or did he kill them? Not that it matters in the end, they always get their way.

So was that it? Did he just give up yet again? Yea, that’s what he’s best at, giving up. In psychology there is a thing called “learned helplessness,” and he figures that has something to do with it. Really, he’s using it as just a sorry excuse for being lazy. But hey, how many times can a person try to do something and fail before they just stop trying? How many times can you watch everything you build be torn back down to the start before you just say, “screw it.” But giving up is different than not caring.

Some people accuse him of not caring, even himself. The truth is he did care, otherwise he wouldn’t even act in _that_ time line, when all time ends. Acting before then just let’s the kid learn and adjust to his fighting style and moves. That was the mistake he made with the first anomaly. And maybe he just knew better than to fight the inevitable. After all, this was how the kid was going to end things. With him alone; struggling on without his brother. No matter what he did the kid will make sure they got the ending they wanted.

He reached back, grabbing the hood of his jacket and pulling it over his skull before shoving the hand back into its pocket. With a resigned sigh, he leaned back against the stone wall and slide down it until he was sitting. Tucked into the left inside pocket was his brother’s scarf, neatly folded in respect. It was safe, close to his soul. Feeling it there was reassuring and agonizing all at the same time. He drew his knees up, trying to make himself as small as possible. At this moment he wanted nothing more than to withdraw from this world and give up.

           And why shouldn’t he? Papyrus, his dear brother, was no longer here. Without that joyful personality around, it would just be so easy fading from life. What more was there for him to live for? His brother was the most important person in his life. Sure, there were others he knew, some he called friends, but he didn’t feel anything for most of them beyond being just people he knew about. Well, that wasn’t completely true. There was that lady behind the ruin door, she was a good friend. Her laugh had brought a ray of joy into his otherwise dismal life. Why else would he start trying to bake like she does? But the last time he knocked on the door, after the kid passed through, there was silence. Had the kid killed her too?

No, he won’t give up just yet. He will struggle on until he made a phone call to the kid; pouring all his malice into words to them one last time. After that, if he dusted he will be fine with it. For now he will watch and see who filled the power vacuum that was made when Asgore died. Undyne perhaps? She was still alive and was likely to try taking the position. He had to admit, she was mostly Papyrus’s friend and more of his boss. Not that he didn’t like her, he actually admired the her a bit himself. The problem between them is their personalities don’t mix well at times. Without his brother around, there was no one to convince her of whatever usefulness his bro saw in him. She was sure to sack him, meaning he will need to find a new job. Well, he didn’t really have to, there was enough in savings to last him to that phone call.

The consideration of how long before he could just fade to dust is interrupted as he heard footsteps coming down the hall. He sighed and started to stand, gearing himself up to greet whomever it was that was coming. His legs refused to work as if they had given up hope before the rest of the body. Annoyed, he continued sitting and just looked up, laughing bitterly inside as looking up at others was nothing new. He just never figured he would have to look up from such a low perspective before. And the sickeningly funny thing about it is how it mirrored how he felt inside. Normally he wasn’t bothered by how short he was, though at times he really hated it. If only the world was designed more for the “vertically challenged.”

With effort he forced himself to get white eye lights to shine in his sockets. His vision was blurred, unfocused, at first; but as it cleared, he saw that it wasn’t Undyne running to the end of the hall. He was actually a little surprised to see it was a goat monster much like Asgore. She had started to pass him, clearly not noticing the little, sorry excuse for a lump he had curled himself into. Not that he blamed her. He didn’t bother turning his head and just stared straight ahead, letting out a sigh before saying in a dark tone, “asgore isn’t here anymore, if that is why you’ve come.”

“Actually, I am here for the child, are they alright?” Her voice, he had heard it before. That was a surprise. Furthermore, he couldn’t think of whose face that voice would belong to. He looked at her again, there couldn’t be that many goat monsters in the underground. Through his sentry stations and hot dog stand he had kept himself informed on things going on in the Underground, and all the monsters. How many goat monsters did he know about?

Inhaling sharply through his teeth, he cursed himself out in his head for not figuring it out sooner. With the realization that he was speaking to the queen, well, former queen, he forced himself out of the deep depression he had been slipping into. With years of practice behind him, he kept this shocked feeling from his appearance. Instead he wore his usual face, the smile of false happiness. And yet, there was a part of him that felt that was unnecessary, that there was no reason to hide his true self from her.

Strength returned to his legs as he stood, shoving the hood off his head. He tried to muster up some amount of respect to her. Should he bow? It seemed like the right thing to do though he never bowed to Asgore. He’ll skip the bow, it’s not his style anyway, “sorry, i didn’t, uh,… anyway, the kiddo’s gone. killed king flu- king asgore, and left, the six souls are gone too. and that’s the situation, uh, your highness” the title came out sounding more like a question than an acknowledgement of her authority. Formalities is not his thing, so much so, he wasn’t sure why he was trying to behave like he knew how to be formal. He never did for Asgore, calling him King Fluffybuns to his face even. Maybe it’s because his mind is still trying to convince him he somehow knows her as more than the ‘Former Queen.’

“Please, don’t. I gave up that title a long time ago,” She sighed and put a paw to the right side of her face. Frustrated and feeling like an idiot, he looked down as a part of him wished this encounter would just end. The soft sound of sniffing, as if she was crying, caused him to glance up to see tears in her eyes. Her voice trembled as she said, “I should have been here. I should have been here for them.”

“i doubt that would’ve made much difference,” He said, turning his head slightly to look away before he closed his eyes sockets and turned back to look up at her again. He was about to say more but was held back by a puzzled look on her face.

“I know you,” She said slowly, taking a deep breath to remove the sadness in voice. She then started to move both hands to her mouth, trying to hold back a huge smile with no avail. “I do know you’re voice! You were the person who told me all those wonderful jokes through the door!”

He felt his eye sockets darken again as that information sunk in. This was his ‘knock knock’ joke friend? All this time he had been telling those cringe worthy puns and embarrassingly funny life stories to her? The queen of the Underground? The queen of all monsters was listening to him, laughing at his jokes? Of all the monsters that exist in the Underground, he had been enjoying the laugh of Asgore’s ex-wife. And this was also the person he made that promise to.

Looking at her, he could only see kindness, tenderness. How? How could he tell her that his younger brother, a monster he promised to introduce her to if they ever met, was dead? Killed by the human child he had promised her to protect. He felt a cold chill go through him as he lite his eyes again. She extended a large paw to him, “My name is Toriel, and it is a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“the name’s sans, and, uh, same,” He put has hand in hers and they shook. There was a warmth creeping into his face around his cheek bones, and it felt like something was moving around in his rib cage. His soul perhaps?

Toriel hung onto his hand a bit longer than he expected which seemed to cause that warmth to spread. She was looking down at it next to hers and the size difference was unignorable. Compared to her’s, his hand looked like it belonged to a child and not a monster of his age. Sans was beginning to wish he had worn his mittens here. With the extra padding they tend to make his boney fingers seem just a bit larger than they actually are. “I’m really sorry, I-,” She started, looking up at him sheepishly (goatishly?)  as she finally releasing his hand. Though he’d admit, he was slow to take it back, “I’m sorry, that is so rude of me. I just- well… you’re different than I expected.”

“eh,” San’s shrugged, “i get that a lot. so, forgeddaboudit, ok?” Was he feeling… embarrassed? He wasn’t sure anymore. He could still feel the heat in his face and his soul seemed to be bouncing around even more. He hadn’t felt embarrassed since he was small… smaller… a baby bones. It is easy to not feel embarrassed when you just stop caring about what others think. He rubbed the back of his skull, looking down as he shuffled one foot. Seeing his clothes in the process, witnessing what a mess he was for the first time in what felt like ages. That confirmed it, this was embarrassment. For some reason he cared about how he looked around her. Maybe because they had talked about this meeting for so long; and now, here he stood in all his lackluster glory. In all honesty, at this point, he’d be surprised if she still wanted to spend time with him. “i, uh… wasn’t expecting to learn the queen was behind the door.”

“Please, Sans, it is former queen, and I… I’d rather you called me Toriel,” She smiled softly, “Or, actually, Tori.”

“heh,” Did his soul just bounce into his nonexistent throat? That was the only explanation he had for the sudden lump he was struggling to speak around. He swallowed, trying to regain control, “t-tori,” that felt so weird, yet satisfying at the same time, “with asgore gone,” he wince slightly, Tori had been married to the King as one point, he could show more sympathy for her loss, “now that he passed, monster kind will be looking, uh… for a new leader. and, if you want, you could ‘un-former’ yourself and be just ‘the queen’ again. i think monster kind will a _door_ having you back.” He winked while saying the pun.

She laughed and he failed to notice his usual false smile crack to into a stupid grin. That sound, that beautiful sound. It was even better without a door between them. As a comedian, who occasionally puts on a show at MTT, he has heard many laughs but none have ever gotten to him like hers. And now that he could see her, he could see she was as wonderful as her laugh.

Once she regained her composure she nodded, “You’re right. Perhaps I should.” Toriel looked towards the pathway that leads out toward the throne room. “Sans, it is lonely being ruler. At times I wondered how Asgore was, without his family around... The fool, if only-,” She sighed and looked back at the small skeleton. He felt a longing to hug her when he saw the sadness in her eyes. They had been friends through the door for a long time; yet now that they had finally met it seemed different. Would hugging her be appropriate? She didn’t really know him. He was just a stranger knocking on a door telling her jokes.

“I hope this isn’t too forward, but I wanted to ask if you would like to live around here, or even in the castle. There are several rooms for those who are meant to work and live here. It would be good to have someone around I know I can trust and enjoy laughs with,” Toriel tilted her head slightly as she spoke. He felt his eye lights shrink as that surprised him. He wanted to speak but all that came out was a staggering sound as it seemed his soul had now thoroughly wedged itself in the way of his voice. “I know you have your younger brother to take care of, he is welcome to move in as well, of course,” Toriel kindly added then said in a sadder tone, “And you don’t have to be here everyday, I’m sure you have more important things to do than hang around an old woman like myself.”

If it were physically possible, Sans would of ripped his soul out right then and there and throw it on the floor before cursing it out. Her sadness and remembering his brother caused his soul to drop into the pit of despair that it found when his brother died. Only now it seemed to have gone deeper than normal; into a dark place within him. Papyrus… His eye sockets started to burn and it was a struggle to keep his eyes lite. With all that has been going on, he hasn’t really had the time to properly mourn the lose of his bro. That fact seemed to hurt more than Pap not being there. After all, Papyrus was everything to him that mattered; and, he hasn’t done more than weep as he first folded up the scarf.

Everything about this exchange with Toriel was weird to him. For some reason he was feeling so open with her. He, at some point, shed his normal smile, the mask like expression he always wore. Was it because he considered her a good friend? Or maybe, he is like this because he had grown used to never hiding himself from her voice. After all, before now, they couldn’t actually see each other. There still seemed to be a lump for him to speak around, so he started by clearing his figurative throat. He couldn’t tell her. Not the truth. That the kid he watched, that he promised to protect, killed his harmless brother. He inwardly hoped with all his might that his eye lights were lit as he spoke, “no, i’d, uh, love to move here and help out. and Pap will most likely stay in Snowdin. we, well, we had a fight. i’m sure he’d like me out of the house for a while.” _He_ would like out of the house for a while. To not have to return again to that empty space.

He had no time to react- no, that is not right. He had time to react; he always had time to react it seems. Instead the truth was he froze up as she quickly stepped forward while going into a kneeling position. Her arms wrapped around him, holding him tightly, “I’m sorry to hear that.” He noticed how stiff he was as his body started to collapse in her embrace. Something warm was moving down his cheek bones. Great, just great, he was crying, and becoming more of a mess then he already was.

His arms trembled as he wrapped them around her, seeking her support so he could regain control of himself, “it’s okay, heh. y’know, he’s my bro, so, fights happen. we’ll, uh, get over it.” He backed away, quickly using a sleeve to remove the tears while looking to the floor for something else to think about. It was truly a nice floor. The monsters who had installed it had done a wonderful job doing so. This made him wondered how badly it had been torn up the times he has fought the child. Shaking that thought from his head he shoved his hands back in his jacket pockets, “so, anyway, i’ll stick around as long as you can _sans_ me.” He heard her giggle at his weak attempt at a pun of his name. Ah, that sound. He couldn’t help but genuinely smile at that sound.

“Are you _kid_ ding me, I’d get awfully _bone_ ly without you around,” she said, causing him to chuckle.

“welp, can’t say I’ll be much help. i’m known for being a _lazy bones_ and _skull_ king around,” how did he get her to giggle with such terrible puns he wondered.

“Ha, well if I need you I’ll just give you a poke in the _ribs_ . See if that doesn’t help you get your _back bone_ into it,” She smiled kindly down at him. Why did his face still feel so warm? He thought this joking had gotten him past his initial embarrassment. And yet, something was still going on inside him, and he just can’t keep his eye lights off her. He had adored her laugh when he first heard it. Then he found he can’t help but long for when he’d hear her voice again. Was he… She broke that train of thought, “But that’s alright, I really am just asking you to stay for company and advice… I had been alone in the ruins for so long…”

This time he was the one who hugged first, wrapping his arms around her in his usual slow pace, “well, ya won’t be alone now. i’m here to help, and i can get a skele _ton_ done when i try .” She laughed and hugged him back, “ be _leaf_ me when i say that i’m not bad with paperwork. in fact, no one has ever told me i’m _tearable_ at it. of course, they could of been _folding_ back. Anyway, I’ll make sure that _sheet_ doesn’t slow you down, if you want.” She laughed and he joined her. After they slowed to a soft chuckle he started to release his hug, but she tightened her grip. This surprised him. He was not expecting her to choose to cling to him like this, only Papyrus has ever done that. The sharp pang of sadness returned, and he buried his face into her neck and he held on to her as well.


	2. Thanks Grillbz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Undyne shows up and Sans does some stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Random Thoughts: I hope one day I can write about Sans and Undyne really being friends, because I think they would be. They’d bond well over their shared appreciation for Papyrus. But I feel in this ending their relationship would be strained at best. They are friends of a friend on different sides of an issue both feel passionate about. And alas, they both seem like stubborn people. Grillby on the other hand is a man of many, few, mysterious words. It would be awesome if there a well written fan fic about Grillbz being a spy or something. You know, like the James Bond of the Underground… Huh, Is Grillby his first or last name? -- The tall and undoubtedly handsome fire monster looked over at her. His flames popping and crackling in a calm and almost seductive manner. This elemental of few words finally spoke, his voice quiet but as relaxing as the campfire-esk ambient sound and light he gives off. “.......The names Fire, Grillby Fire.” -- … I’m just going to stop there, because I’m now seriously tempted to write that over this. But if such a thing exists, please point me to it.

_After sharing their usual jokes Sans and the mystery lady started settling into idle chatter and amusing life stories. He was happy she seemed to enjoy the ones about his brother, Papyrus, since those were his favorite to tell. “so, i run downstairs, not something i do often, and all i see is smoke coming from the kitchen. i’m freaking out at this point and i call for pap, ya know, because i’m worried if he was ok. he and undyne assure me that everything is under control, but i open the windows and the front door to get the smoke out so I can see what’s going on. they come stumbling out, coughing and hacking, congratulating themselves on not setting the house on fire.”_

_“Oh my, were they hurt?” the lady asked, it was nice that she cared._

_“yeah, they were fine, thankfully. i checked them over before sayin’, ‘well i guess dinner just went up in smoke, huh?’ which the both groaned to. I decided to treat them both to grillby’s, much to my bro’s disapproval. but, there’s not much else to be had around town that ya don’t make yourself. before we left i asked undyne to have the next cooking lesson at her place, to which she said, ‘where’s your sense of adventure?’_

_“I turned back to her and shrugged before saying. ‘y’just burnt it down with dinner tonight.’ but seriously though, i’m about two payments away from paying the house off. i’d like for it to not be a pile of ash before then.”_

_He could hear the lady giggling through the door, “Those two sure sound like a handful. But, not to insult your brother’s dear friend, it doesn’t seem like he is going to learn to cook well at that rate.”_

_“true, but it’s something for him to do. besides, he’s slowly getting better. that or i’m just getting used to it,” Sans leaned back against the door, “does charcoal have any nutritional properties to it?”_

_“I don’t believe so, no,” she laughed, “What about you?”_

_“Huh?”_

_“Do you cook? You could teach him,” She suggested._

_“heh, i don’t cook, really. i mean, i can make hot dogs and simple stuff like that,” he looked up at the ceiling of the cavern._

_“Well, again I don’t mean to speak ill of his friend, but I think that would be a better start,” the lady said._

_“i don’t know, pap is more interested in learning to cook things with more steps. especially pastas,” he turned his head back towards the door._

_“I’m going to be honest with you,” he heard her sigh, though it sounded in good humor verses impatient or anything of such nature, “I think you’re just making excuses. You love your brother and I would have thought you’d jump on any chance to spend more time with him.”_

_“yeah, but, he’s not going to want to make grilled cheese or hot dogs with me,” Sans looked down at the snow._

_“How about if I give you my lasagna recipe? It is a pasta and something different for you two to make together.”_

_“you cook then, i’m guessing?”_

_“Yes, though I prefer baking,” she sighed slightly, “I just baked a pie today and I wish I could share it with you.”_

_“that’s ok, it’s nice that you offer though. anyway, sure, i’ll give cooking lasagna a try.”_

_“Alright, i’ll be right back, I believe I still remember it all, but I want to make sure,” He heard her get up and walk off._

_Patiently he waited for her to return. That was something he was never short of, patience. And yet, a part of he couldn’t wait for her to get back so he could hear her voice again. Something about it was so cathartic that he instantly felt calmer knowing she was there, even if she didn’t speak. It was odd really, he only ever felt that way before with Papyrus. Still, the relief she provided was different than his brother’s._

_Listening carefully, he could hear her return before she spoke up, her voice sounding eager, “I had a thought, what if I also give you the recipe for the pie? Then you can bake it yourself to share with your brother and his friend.”_

_He hesitated, the idea of him baking, not to mention cooking, was laughable but he liked her. This lady was a real friend and she sounded so happy with that idea, how could he say no? “yeah, sure, i’ll try, hang on,” he reached into his coat, pulling out a small notebook and pen. Normally he used it to keep track of what is going on in the current time line he is in. As he flipped through the pages he couldn’t help but sigh, knowing he has filled in several more pages that are now currently blank. Shaking his head he flipped to the last page, “ok, ready to write.” She told him the ingredients and how much of each, starting with the lasagna and then the pie. Then she explained how to make each, answering his questions and going slowly to make sure he fully understood. Once they were done he chuckled, “okay, if i fail to do this then it ain’t your fault.”_

_“Isn’t. Ain’t is not a word.”_

_He chuckled, “right, teach.”_

* * *

 

Sans stretched, his vertebrae cracking and popping as he leaned back against the chair. He raised his arms over his head, intertwining his fingers before flipping his hands so they were palms out. Each pop and snap was met with a satisfying feeling of relief. He had been sitting at this computer looking over reports, creating documents, sorting data, and various other forms of paperwork for the past… uh… Vision blurred with some wariness, he glanced at the clock at the bottom right of the screen. Had it really been seven hours? No wonder he felt hungry.

While stifling a yawn he told the computer to print several of the documents, gathered up the files he had been using, put them away, and then shuffled out of the office. Once he had some food and a mug of coffee he’d be back to take the printouts to the queen. Some of those documents needed to be signed by her and he was going to have to skirt around the subject of what the kid really did. She needed to know that the kid wasn’t always out there being a sweet little angel. People got hurt, though the only monsters to die were Asgore and… He can be honest and say that they injured some monsters; a few have been extensively injured. All in all, this was definitely one of the less destructive runs the kid had. Though, that didn’t make the fact his brother was dead any easier.

Tori needed to know that the kid wasn’t completely innocent so she could understand _why_ monster kind is getting upset with her first order: that all humans who fell down were to be treated as friends. It has taken a lot of effort on his part to keep Undyne from her. Undyne practically worshiped the ground Asgore walked on. Well, to be fair, the guy was pretty much a father to her, so it is no surprise she is reacting that way. But it was getting harder now that she has started stirring up the rest of monster kind. And it didn’t help that the souls were missing too. That, he knew, could be blamed on a flower. But the rest of monster kind believed the kid took them. If only he didn’t give up on science he could have been there to steer Alphys away from those experiments she did.

Shuffling back to the office, a bag of chisps and a barely put together sandwich on a paper towel in hand, he ate. Choosing to stay standing in the middle of the room, watching the printer through half closed eyes. Crumbs dropped to the floor, but he currently didn’t care to clean them. He was, though, making an effort to keep the office he was provided clean for Toriel. He’ll take a broom to the floor later. For now he wanted to eat, grab the printouts, get things signed, and then be with his friend for the rest of the day, or, at least, until he passed out on her.

Once he finished he absentmindedly whipped his fingers on his shirt before he started to reach for the papers. He separated them into different piles and put each pile into corresponding folders. With an accomplished grin he started to leave to meet Toriel when he looked down at himself. With a long, heavy sigh from his nonexistent lungs, he made his way to his room to change into something cleaner.

Finally ready, he took a shortcut to the throne room. The door was open already, not something he expected to see but he shrugged it off and walked over, knocking twice on the open door as he strolled in, “knock,” he paused, not seeing Toriel in the room, but Undyne instead. His soul sank into the pit it likes to dive into when he feels upset. But, unlike with Tori, his face is like a mask, hiding his feelings, “knock.”

Undyne shot him a glare, “I don’t have time for your jokes.”

Oh, she just asked for it, “ _cod_ you let _minnow_ why you’re here, instead of the queen? i had a _herring_ with her i don’t want to _mist_ it” He felt he already knew the answer.

“SHUT UP!” Undyne turned sharply to fully face him before stomping over to where he stood. He figured she did this purely to tower over him in an attempt to intimidate. So, this was the game she wanted to play? What fragile friendship between the two Papyrus tried forming was clearly strained. Staring down with her one eye, she snarled, “How, how could you support her, that-,”

“ **d o n ’ t  f i n i s h  t h a t  s e n t e n c e** ,” Eye lights gone, his voice echoing within himself eerily.

“YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TELL _ME_ WHAT TO DO!” She yelled as she attempted to jab him with a finger in the forehead. He side stepped it easily, eye lights returning as he watched her silently. This was new. That trick usually was enough to make most monsters reconsider how they wanted to deal with him. “That human killed your brother and yet you’re okay with treating all humans as friends? And not only are you okay with it, YOU’RE WILLING TO HELP THE PERSON WHO INSTITUTED THE IDIOTIC RULE! Did you love Papyrus at all? Or was it just an act?” He felt himself flinch as he struggled to keep his anger in check, his magic twisting around inside him as it itched to surge out in an expression of his emotions. “Are you so lazy that you just cling to whoever offers to take care of you?” She said with a cruel grin.

He took the verbal abuse, accepting it, owning it as the questions were ones he had been asking himself. Not to say it didn’t irk him to be hearing someone else saying those words, and hearing the tone she used toward him did not help. But still, he stood quietly staring at the floor with dark eye sockets, letting her vent the anger towards him.

This has been building between them for the past week. It’s what he gets for continually deflecting Undyne after several attempts of being civil with her. Perhaps, if he had let her vent her rage on him before now this wouldn’t have happened. Now Tori is nowhere to be seen, and he doubted what weak relationship existed between Undyne and himself would ever be repaired.

With the verbal assault over he shifted the file folders from under his left arm to the right before he looked up at her. Why did she have to be so tall? Why did everyone have to be so tall? It made life annoying for those who were more compact in size like himself. “i’ll answer that, but i first i wanna to know what did you do, where is she?” Even with dark eye sockets he kept his voice calm and this time, echo free.

Undyne’s face contorted slightly as she bore her wickedly sharp teeth at him. She leaned forward, bringing her face inches from his, “You really are her little lap dog, aren’t you. I’d ask when you lost your self-respect, but I doubt you had any to being with.”

Sans felt his mask of a smile slipping as the anger inside him continued to build even more. His magic was getting harder to suppress but he still maintained control, keeping it ready to be used in a heartbeat. This was getting annoying as he was struggling to figure out what she was trying to accomplish with this, “ya done?”

“Never mind, that is an insult to all the good dogs that serve in the guard,” Undyne stood straight again and grinned down at him, “I can’t believe I ever made someone like you a sentry.”

“if i remember right, it was my bro who convinced you to hire me,” Sans said with a shrug. He noticed a blue light as Undyne started to form a spear in her hand, “don’t do this. i’m trying to be nice in respect to paps.” He took a step back, wanting more space between him and that spear.

“Oh, that is rich! When I told the ex-queen about the brat hurting monsters she seemed confused. It’s a shame now that I think about it. You never told her about Papyrus, did you? I should have, right before I banished her to the ruins. What would that have done to your relationship with her I wonder? You speak of showing respect to Papyrus, and yet you hide how he died. Some brother you are. But I suppose that is how life goes. The brave die while the cowardly, bottom feeders live on”

What was with her? Was she purposefully trying to rile him up? “and you think paps would want me using his death to wage war?” Sans shifted backwards, continuing to put space between him and Undyne, “he liked that human, and we both know he would’ve forgiven them, even now, for what they did. so that’s why; that’s your answers from before. Because I’m doing what i think my bro would want me to do.”

She was silent, looking at him, and after a minute Sans started to turn to walk away. He snapped back to face her when he saw Undyne start to move from the corner of his eye. He’s left arm stretched out towards her, feeling her soul and turning it blue as his turned green. Green is bad, his main way of staying alive is dodging, and now he can’t move. But, at the same time, he knew he had an upper hand against Undyne. Bone attacks ready to be used in easy access behind him, he watched the person he once considered, through his brother, a friend hang in the air. And he then realized, in that moment, he felt a no concern if he killed her or not.

When did he get like this? Undyne was supposed to be a friend; at least, she is a reminder of his brother. He’d never want to harm her. And yet, for a second, he would of ended her without a second thought. Is this merciless reaction the results of the seemingly endless battles with the human and flower? He lowered her back down gently, ignoring the rage on her face.

“If you were so good at magic, that you can get those attack ready and turn me blue so fast, then why didn’t you stop that human?!” She yelled, not releasing him from the green magic, “Asgore is dead, your brother, _my_ friend, is dead because you didn’t do your job!” She grabbed him by his shirt collar and shook him. The files fell from under his right arm onto the floor, “Paps kept telling me how good you were at magic, but I always laughed! I mean, every time we tested the skills and strength of every sentry you were always at the bottom. And yet, you are every bit as good as he said! You just LET HIM DIE!

“And not only Papyrus. I heard you were here when Asgore died, AND YOU DID NOTHING! You might as well of killed him yourself!” She shoved Sans back which was an odd sensation while green. His body wanted to stumble back further than how far she pushed him, but the magic kept him from doing so. He looked up seeing her raise the spear, “Why did such a coward have to be so powerful?”

“undyne,” Sans straightened his shirt and sighed, “if you want your answers to those ask alphys about my timeline theory. i talked to her about it extensively a few days ago after i found out what she’d been working on. i’d tell you now, but I know this ‘nerd’ stuff goes over your head, and I hope to end our little chat here by saying that i did try and stop the kid. it just didn’t work. now, you can either let me leave or dust me. your choice.”

Time slowly ticked by as Undyne considered her options. Or, perhaps she just wanted it to seem that way and was just letting the green magic time out. Once the magic faded he turned and left, feeling a twinge of sorrow as he doubted he’d ever talk to her again; a person who had once known and loved his brother.

 

* * *

 

Once again he was thankful for his short cuts. He only had so much time and a lot to do; thankfully a few of those factors were already in order. First he gathered his things from the castle room that he had started to consider his own. It wasn’t much and some of it he just chose to leave behind; he never cared to owned much. Nothing he needed was in his office so he took a shortcut to Snowdin. He stood outside his house for a moment, his tired mind wheeled from making such a far jump in space. And it is no wonder, with how tired he was feeling and with everything going on, it would be surprising if he didn’t feel dizzy. Right now, though, he could not give into his exhaustion.

As Sans walked into the house, his mind drifted back to when he first walked through that door after moving in. How excited he and Papyrus had been. “dammit,” he muttered as his vision started to blur. He thought this crying business was finally over. Being sad was one thing, but he was sick of the occasional weeping at random memories. After closing the door he whipped his eyes on his jacket sleeve then took a deep breath, trying to keep his breathing rhythm calm. Once he relaxed he looked around then gave a raspy sigh as the pangs of losing his brother continued to resurface.

The house was cleaner than it had ever been. On his free time he had worked with Grillby to clean the place up to rent it out. It just needed some more furnishing for the one bedroom that was available. Sans had made it clear that Papyrus’s room was off limit to renters, even locking it to make sure. He just wanted to do one last final check before heading out to his lab. He checked every room one last time except Pap’s, not wanting to look inside and bring back those memories right now. He shuffled outside and walked around back. After opening the lab door he tapped as much snow off his sneakers as he could before stepping in. This, of course, was also off limits to renters.

He grabbed a couple of notebooks from one of the draws and shoved them in his bag before walking out. Two more stops. First, he went to the library. He checks the old books they are hoping to sell, books he won’t have to consider returning. There were a few he had heard were good and was willing to give a try. Next he skimmed the shelves. He made sure he grabbed books from a variety of genres as he wasn’t sure what Toriel would like to read.

Finally his last stop, Grillby’s. The bar and grill was typically empty at this time of day, just before the dinner crowd, followed by the late night drinkers. He walked in and over to the counter before sitting down on his usual stool. When the fire monster, he had grown to know fairly well over the years, started to grab him his usual drink he held up a hand, “sorry, don’t have the time, grillbz. i’m here about the idea of renting out my house. something's come up and well… i have to pay off my tap some way, right?” Sans held out his house key.

“……….,” Grillby looked at it then looked back at Sans. The element rarely spoke as it took effort to a being that consumes oxygen around him to actually cause it to make sound other than pops and crackles. And when he did speak, it was usually so soft it is hard to hear over the crowd that those who knew him best would translate for him. So, respectfully Sans waited, allowing him the time he needed to speak, “……what is going on? .....What happened?”

“undyne happened… she, well, she kicked the queen out; banished her to the ruins. and, uh… i’m going to follow her. there just isn’t much left to keep me here… ya know? not saying I won’t stop by and visit, but…”

“……..I understand……. Sans, does she know yet?.......”

Sans rubbed his forehead with his left hand, annoyed that he was hearing this again, “no, and she doesn’t have to know. i told you about the promise i made before i knew it was her, toriel, the freaking queen of the underground.”

“…….does that matter…….. who she is?......”

“no, of course not. i mean, what mattered at the time when i made it, and kept it, was… that she loved the same kind of jokes i do…”

Grillby set down a glass he had been cleaning and started on the next, “………so does it matter now?......”

“no… well… maybe yes?” He felt frustration and threw his hands up as they started to express more of what he was thinking in a language the elemental knew, “i know she was lonely before, behind that door in the ruins and i don’t want her to be lonely now. in that sense, no, it doesn’t matter who she is. but she’s _the queen_ , and who am i? grillbz, i… i can’t help but feel like some idiot who is hanging onto her while she is too nice to ask me to let go.”

The fire elemental looked at Sans, there was a smile in his eyes that made Sans suspicious of what was going through his bar tending friend’s mind, “….. Sans, I doubt she thinks of you that way….. As for who you are, well, you’re Sans…… and although you lost sight of the importance of that, it doesn’t mean everyone else around you is blind to it….” After setting down another clean glass he extended his hand to take the key, “………So, I’m handling this all alone?........”

“yea, sorry about that. so, ya know, keep all of the earnings you want… it is still technically my house, so… it should pay off my tab and this,” He pulled out an envelope, “should help pay for more furniture.”

Grillby took the money and looked at it then nodded, “…………thank you, and if you need any money just ask…………. As you said, it is still your house, we are just business partners in this……….”

“thanks, grillbz, well… see ya…,” Sans started to get off the stool when he felt a warm hand on his shoulder.

“……Wait…….. Sans, first, if you let me know when, I will keep this place open late for just you and the queen……… unlike some others, I never had a problem with her……… knowing she is displaced, yet again…… upsets me…… so anyway I can help, let me know………… second….. you will not like hearing this…..,” Sans sighs and looks away, “……Sans…. Please……” Grillby didn’t continue until Sans was looking him again in the eyes. “….. the burden you are carrying is heavy enough without hiding it…….. you may think you are helping her by hiding the truth……. But I believe she see the pain you’re trying to hide,” Sans was about to speak when the bartender held up a hand to ask for continued silence, wanting to keep going without interruption, “….. I am in a unique position, that I can see a different side of you than what you typically show……….. and like it or not, so is she………. I’m sure she knows you are suffering………… and until you talk it out, the memory of that promise will still be there and she will see you looking at her with sadness in your eyes……….. and she will wonder why _she_ is making you sad……..”

Sans sighed, “i understand….and i’ll think about it. but i better get going if i’m going to meet her at the door…” And with that Sans slide off the stood and walked out into the snow before taking one last short cut.

He stepped out of the woods onto the path in front of the door that lead into the ruins. No tracks yet and the snow build up around it seems undisturbed. He looks at the door, touching with his left hand. It has felt like ages since he last looked at it. For nostalgic reasons, he turned his back to it and leaned like he used to, half tempted to knock on it, hoping to hear the familiar voice on the other side.

His eyes felt so heavy. He had been up a long time compared to usual, used several short cuts, and… well… the struggle with controlling his magic against Undyne. No wonder he was feeling so exhausted. But he wanted to be awake to greet her where they truly first met. So with that goal, he tried to focus on staying awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI! You did it again! Cool Beans. Thanks for reading and for any comments or kudos left. See you again next chapter.


	3. Have a punderful day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, you’re back… Not a whole lot to say about this chapter. It’s nice… kinda dull really… Anyway, at one point Sans “blue-screens-of-death” so that’s a thing. ...So about Spy Grillby, who do you think would be his archnemesis? Every hero, and evil doer, needs an archnem… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yM3Zh9TwtE Would it be…….. Gaster? Maybe Onionsan? MAYBE Papy, because of all the grease! Naw, Papyrus could never be anyone's archnemesis.

_ “You sound in high spirits today,” Toriel commented as she listened to the man on the other side of the door. _

_ “i took a ride on an elevator today, with the ghost napstablook, they’re really good at lifting spirits,” he replied and she laughed, “but, uh, really, i’m just happy i was able to find everything i wanted to get papyrus this year for christmas. and i have an idea for you.” _

_ “For me? But-” _

_ “i know, there’s a door that won't open between us, but… heh, welp, if i say much more that will ruin the surprise,” She could hear the slight waver in his mostly calm tone that hinted that he was feeling a little embarrassed about it. Smiling she decides not to press the matter, instead she wrote a note in the corner of her journal, which had become riddled with jokes. She will have to think of something she can do for him. _

_ “Alright, that sounds fair. So, I’ll have to wait till you  _ present _ your gift for me.” She smiled as she heard him laugh. _

_ “good, because i am keeping what it is under  _ wraps _.” _

_ “What did you get your brother?” _

_ “well, what  _ **_i_ ** _ got him is the boring stuff, y’know? a new shirt and i made him a new scarf to replace his old tattered one. best part of that, it’s in his favorite color, red.” _

_ “That sounds sweet and not boring at all,” Toriel said softly, “handmade gifts are the best.” _

_ “Yea, but compared to what  _ **_santa_ ** _ is bringing this year? it’s nothing.” _

_ “I thought you said your brother is an adult. Does he still believe in Santa?” _

_ “why shouldn’t he?” The response was quick, sharp. _

_ Toriel hesitated; she had upset him with that and will need to pick her words careful. “I’m sorry, I’m just used to adults knowing the truth.” _

_ He was quiet, and she was unsure if she said the right thing. Finally she heard a sigh, “well there is a jadedness that can come with knowing the truth. besides, you know what they call a someone who doesn’t believe in santa.” _

_ “No, what?” _

_ “a rebel without a  _ claus. _ ” _

_ Toriel laughed, happy to hear he was laughing as well. She decided she had better remember that Santa is a touchy subject for him, “So, what is Santa bringing your brother?” _

_ “well, i found a new figure for his robot collection. it is a rare one from the set. then i got him a new book on advanced mechanical puzzle making and a chapter book for something new at night. and lastly, when i was at the dump i found this dvd box set for a tv show called  _ top gear _. i had seen an episode before at the royal scientist's. It has these funny humans talking about cars, and i know pap is going to love it. it was brand new, still in the wrapper too.” _

_ There was such excitement and happiness in his tone of voice that she couldn’t help but smile, “Huh, I must be getting really old.” _

_ “why do you say that?” _

_ “Because, Santa seems young this year.” _

_ There was a laugh, “please, lady, i’m hardly santa.” _

_ “Oh, I don’t know, you have magic -being a monster and all- and you told me before you are on the chubby side. And you give gifts. Whether you’re  _ **_the_ ** _ Santa or not, you’re sure to make this a Santa-sational holiday for your brother,  _ snow _ problem.” she heard him chuckling and continued, “I  _ be-wreath _ that you embody the meaning of the holiday. And you  _ candy-cane _ not help but play Santa  _ evergreen _ year  _ be-clause _ that’s the way you are.” She could hear him full out laughing now, and decided to keep going, “I hope I don’t  _ sleigh _ you with these terrible puns, my  _ deer _ friend. It would not be  _ coal _ to be placed on the naughty list.” _

_ He continued laughing hardily, normally she would give him a break, but not this time, “But, yes, I  _ holly _ -heartedly believe you are Santa.” She was about to say more when her ear twitched, there was another sound coming from him being masked by his laughing, or so she believed. It almost sounded like clacking and she tried listening carefully to make sure she was hearing that correctly. But he can be heard shifting away from the door and the sound fades as he moved. _

_ “j-just give me a moment. you, uh, had me literally rolling with laughter there… but…” he’s voice is so soft she could barely understand as he says, “th-thanks.” _

 

* * *

 

 

“Sans?”

Sans’s head snapped up as his eyes quickly opened. He drifted off to sleep? When? For how long? He’s eyes focused and he saw Toriel standing before him; there was confusion on her face. But more importantly there were tears in her eyes and streaks from tears in her fur.

She put a paw to her mouth as if trying to hide her frown, “Are… are you here to say goodbye?”

“n-no, i… i was hoping to follow you, if that’s alright,” he hesitated, wanting to comfort her but unsure how. Pap’s old scarf, neatly fold and tucked in the inner left pocket, like usual, offered him constant reassurance. It was almost as if he brother was here with him, telling him he was being silly for hesitating. She was clearly sad and needed support. If only his brother was here; Papyrus was far better at this kind of thing.

Sad wasn’t the right word, it was just the tip of the iceberg of emotions she was feeling. It wasn’t long after he finished talking that her legs gave out from under her and she started to fall to her knees. This forced him into action and he moved forward to help support her. Sans was never known for physical strength while Toriel was no small monster, so it was a struggle for him, but still he managed. She covered both eyes with her paws and began to sob. 

Guilt overcame him as he wonder if she stop and cried like this a few times along the way here? He wanted to meet her where they had first become friends. But doing so caused her to make the long journey back alone. He should have found her and walked with her.

He hugged her, trying to offer some comfort and she hugged him back. She buried her face into his shoulder and tighten her grip on him almost too tightly; at least it was hard to breathe. Good thing skeletons technically don’t need to breath. They need to take in air to make sound and breathing is oddly comforting, but it is not a necessity. He chose to wait until he could expand his ribcage more before finally speaking, “i’m sorry, i should’ve been there for you.”

She took in a shuddering breath, “N-no, I-I am just happy you’re h-here now.” She whimpered slightly before leaning back to look Sans in the eye sockets. Their faces were so close..., “I was so scared… of being alone again.”

“tori, i…,” he quickly reconsidered the words he was about to say, “ _ fur _ a moment i’m going  _ tibia  _ honest with you. unless you ask me to leave i’m not  _ goat _ ing anywhere. alright?” She hugged him again, resting her head on his shoulder as she chuckled between sobs as he added, “and, be _ fur ewe _ ask-”

“You already used ‘fur’ and ‘ewe’s are sheep,” she said teasingly. He could hear that she was starting to calm down. He couldn’t see her face yet, but he could hear a smile in her tone.

“hey, i said i like telling puns, i never said they’d always be relevant or  _ pun _ ny,” That got a real good laugh out of her and he smiled as she shook, this time from laughter instead of sadness. “anyway, i’m all good to go and packed.”

“What about your brother,” Tori asked, slowly releasing him and starting to stand.

“he wants to stay here,” Sans said. His brother’s scarf, with some of his dust embedded into the fabric, was always with Sans, always ‘here’. So, it wasn’t a full lie, right?

“If you are fine with that, I won’t turn you away,” She then opened the door and the two walked through together. “I can clean up one of the extra rooms for you,” She said as she lead him through the tunnel.

“y’sure? i could just find another place nearby. i can be pretty messy after all. i’m sure paps is happy he doesn’t have to clean up after me anymore,” Sans shuffled along behind her.

“I am completely sure,” she turned to him, “It is really just us here. There are other monsters but… they are not much for conversation. And there is not much to do here in the ruins. So, you will end up spending most of your time at my house anyway, wouldn’t you?”

“you got me there,” he said with a laugh and a shrug. She then turned back and lead him up the steps. When they reached the top, he was surprised to learn the tunnel to the door was right below her house. 

“i brought some books with me, some of them on loan so i’ll have to return them eventually…,” He looked in the sitting room, seeing one comfy chair and a fireplace. He then noticed the book case and walked over to it. As he looked the books over, he was happy that he didn’t recognize any of them as being the same as the ones he brought, “i don’t know if they are any good, but we’ve got time, so, we can find out.”

“Sounds wonderful, why not put them on the table for now. When we are done reading them we can put them on the shelf or return them,” Toriel offered as she used her fire magic to light the fire place.

“that might be hard with one of them,” he said as he started to pull them out of his bag, “it’s about anti-gravity, and it has been really hard to put down.” They both laughed.

“Oh you know just how to tickle my  _ funny bone _ ,” she said as she walked up behind him, giving him a friendly kiss on the back of the skull. “Make yourself at home; I’m going to get that room ready for you.”

Whatever counted as a brain for him stopped working as he was about to place the last book on the stack. He clung to it instead, holding it tight to his chest, as if he were hanging on for dear life. Finally his mind started working out what just happened. They were laughing and then she… 

She… 

It was more like what he has seen as being a kiss between friends but still it was… 

No doubt it had happened, he could still feel the fur tickling the back of his skull and her warmth. That small moment of contact. A short space of time that was replaying over and over in his head as his mind tried to understand the when, where, who, how, and more importantly why.

And his soul was completely unhelpful as it seemed to be bouncing so furiously he feared it would burst from his chest. Thinking of his chest he noticed he had something hard pressing against his sternum and he looked down to see how he was clinging to the book. Initially his mind didn’t register it as a book, but instead as some strange object. But as his thoughts cleared he quickly set it down on the others and stepped back. 

He took a deep breath in and out, instructing inwardly that he needed to get a hold of himself. It was just a friendly peck; that is all. He took one more deep breath and exhaled slowly, and as he did he felt his soul relax and he felt more calm. This was something he was just going to have to accept. And if he can’t then he will need to find his own place in a way that won't upset Tori. They were friends, good friends, and he wasn’t going to ruin this.

He turned and walked over to the chair that clearly belonged to Tori. It looked comfy but incase she wanted to sit in it when she got back he decided not to use it. Instead he made himself cozy on the floor and leaned back against the left armrest. He could feel the calm warmth from the fire place and looked over at the flames. This was nice, he could get used to this. 

He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead with both hands. So much had happened today, too much, and he was beyond exhaust. As he reflected back on all that happened he found his thoughts were getting cloudy and incoherent. Not wanting to fall asleep he forced his mind to snap back awake. He should try to stay conscious, at least until Tori was done with the room. 

That fire, her magic, felt so nice and warm…

 

* * *

 

Content, Toriel left the bedroom, the last of Asgore’s things tuck under her arm. She had been slowly cleaning it over the years. Despite her anger towards Asgore she didn’t hate him, but her love for him was gone. Distance and mostly the pain of losing child after child to him, was enough to build too big of a gap for her to want to fix. She had weeped for Asgore a couple of days after returning to the throne. But she had to keep going, her people needed her, and her heart had already moved on long ago.

She placed the few items in her own room to sort out later. Walking to the sitting and dining room, she stopped in the doorway and smiled to herself. Sans had passed out on the floor by the fire with his back to the chair. She couldn’t help but try not to giggle as she looked at him. He had always talking about how lazy he was, but in the last few days she never saw that side of him. It was relieving to see him there, asleep, as if things were developing into a more normal lifestyle now. 

With quiet steps she walked over and knelt down, “Sans?” He didn’t stir and just slept on; she giggled softly. She couldn’t just leave him there so she carefully picked him up by the ribcage and then held him close. Even though he looked heavy he was still a skeleton and lighter than she expected. And yet, with how fragile he seemed to be, she could sense he had a powerful soul. 

He slept on as if undisturbed, head resting on her shoulder, as she carried him to the room she had just cleaned up. She placed him in the king sized bed, and slowly removed his shoes and jacket to make him more comfortable. Without the added layer she found herself more amazed at how small he actually was. His deep voice was very misleading. He almost seemed lost in a bed this size, she will consider getting a smaller one for him.

The shoes she placed by the foot of the bed and she carried the hooded jacket to the writing table. She hung it on the back of the chair but failed to do so correctly the first time as it slipped off. Bending over to pick it up, she saw something red on the inside pocket. Brows creased with curiosity but she fought back the urge to see what it was. It is rude to pry into other people’s business; but in a glance, even she could see how tidy this red piece of cloth was kept. Considering her friend’s less than neat tendencies, it was obviously important. A memory tugged at the back of her mind but she wasn’t sure what she was trying to remember. Instead she picked the jacket back up again and this time hung it on the back of the chair well enough that it didn’t fall.

Looking back at him one last time, she considered everything she really knew about him. As she exited the room, she thought back to when she first saw him. Toriel didn’t even know there was someone there until he spoke. Not that she didn’t see the small form at the end of the hall; but, at the time, she just thought what she saw was a random object. When he spoke she thought she knew the voice, but at the time, she will admit that she didn’t really care. She just wanted to help to the child.

Or maybe there was something more to that. As that moment replayed in her head, she knew the voice but it didn’t sound right. It had a tone to it she had never heard from him before. He sounded like there was not one shred of happiness left in him.

A tightness was felt in her chest as her magic stirred in sorrow. Her friend was so sad and she dismissed him as nothing. Luckily, that changed once he realized who she was.

Nothing in the way he has behaved or spoken has hinted that he even cares about formalities, and yet, for her he tried. When they first met face to face he had used titles for her; and yet, she told him not to. At the time she must have sounded harsh telling him to stop behaving like that. Now, though, she can’t help but feel honored that he thought so much of her.

She walked to the kitchen and looked in the refrigerator. There wasn’t much in there or in her cupboards. She hadn’t been to the store before leaving to find the child. What food there was in the house is still good, after all, monster food doesn’t go bad. Still, what she had left didn’t leave many options for dinner for them. And at this time of night it was too late to be going to the store. There was a can of tuna fish and various ingredients needed to make tuna salad, so she settled on that.

As she chopped up some onion she thought of how helpful Sans had been when it came to doing the paperwork. It made her wonder if at one point he had done work like that before. She remembered today was the day he was going to compile a report on the damage the child had done during the visit underground. They were going to send money to those affected and their families to pay for those damages.

She paused, remembering how hurt Sans seemed when he said he would make that report for her. He had watched over the child like she had asked, so now she wondered what did he see? Did Sans miss the child like she did, or did the child do something that he wanted to hide? 

Toriel was certain there was something he wanted to hide from her about the child. It was evident to her that was true by how cagey Sans became every time she brought them up. As much as she hated seeing him like that, she couldn’t help but hope he would eventually give in and open up to her. 

In fact, there was a lot she wished he would open up about. No more was the fact he tends to keep things to himself more clear than today. Undyne’s wrath gave more than a hint there was something he hadn’t told her.

Undyne… As much as Toriel wanted her friend there with her, she knew it was for the best he wasn’t. He was more than some lazy skeleton as he let on. Odd comments made among jokes, pensive behaviors when asked certain questions, and an odd sense of self confidence despite his weak body; all those factors combined proved him to be more than he appeared. 

And that was the key thing about Sans. For as cheerful and open as he seemed the truth was that he truly is an enigma. Everyone has their secrets, even her. But she doubted that she had hardly the amount he has, and most of hers are likely known. After all, being Asgore’s ex-wife meant her history was out there for the world to see. Sans and herself were, in this way, opposites. He kept everything secret while she had very few secrets to keep. 

Though one of Sans’s secrets he didn’t hide, his short cuts. He had always off handedly mentioned them, but she didn’t fully understand until she needed to move from one side of the castle to the other. Somehow he got her there in a soul beat. As open as he talks about them, though, he avoids explaining how he does it. Another key thing about Sans, he was a master at avoiding.

She didn’t know how much of a fighter he was, but if his mysterious short cuts were any sort of hint to his power… it would have been devastating if a full blown battle between him and Undyne erupted in the throne room. Instead she was alone. And although she, too, is a force to be reckoned with, she quietly back down to Undyne, letting herself be banished; fully accepting that the people were not happy with her rule. 

But that leaves the question, how did Sans know where to find her? Did he talk to Undyne or someone else who knew? If it was Undyne how did that pan out? If she asked, what would he say? A sinking suspicion told her he would only tell her half the truth at most.

Who was Sans? Well, he is the type of person who, when faced with a large door, would start practicing knock knock jokes. He is the type of person who hates to make promises but when he does, keeps them. He is the kind of person who, when clearly sad, will quickly deflect attention to his emotions with a pun or joke. He is also the kind of person who holds his brother in high regard, making him the most important person in his life, and yet…

She had been scooping the tuna out onto crackers when she thought about that. Papyrus. Not one single night of joke telling through the door went by without some update on Papyrus. She felt like she knew that skeleton better than the one currently sleeping in her ex-husband’s bed. And yet, she never once met him and, compared to before, Sans hardly talks about him. What had happened? Was their fight that bad? Is that why Sans so easily left him behind when before she couldn’t imagine the two being separated? When was the last time Sans told her how ‘cool’ his brother was?

Toriel took the plate of tuna salad on crackers out to sit at the dining room. She looked through the stack of book Sans brought and picked one. It seemed like it would be an exciting adventure. The back explaining it was about an ex-spy who is trying to prove his innocence so he can rejoin the spy service he had been previously employed by. It started fairly quickly and the main character reminded her of Sans, secretive. Keeping information from friends and family for their safety. The story was really starting to captivated her when she heard the now familiar scuffling of her skeleton friend.

Looking up from the book she saw him amble in, wearing his jacket like usual. He rubbed the back of his head as he looked at her. “sorry I fell asleep, tori”

“It’s alright Sans, you seemed tired. I wasn’t expecting you to be up yet,” Tori smile and offer him the plate, “I had my fill, help yourself.”

She watched him walk closer and take the plate. She remembered that other than spaghetti he mostly eats the greasy food at a place called Grillby’s. That might explain the curious look on his face as he looks at the tuna salad on crackers. He looked up at her with a smile, “thanks tori, looks good.” When he ate one she saw his face brighten and smiled. He sat next to her and grins, “how’s the book?”

“It’s been a very good read so far,” she said, then watched Sans shifted through the books until he found the physics book. The two sat quietly reading, and she found this pleasant. At some point they moved over by the chair, Sans insisting to sit on the floor and let her sit in comfort.

Much later she woke up, finding a throw blanket was now on her and Sans still awake, reading by firelight. He must of heard her breathing change, or maybe she had moved a bit, as he looked back at her and smiled, “you still look tired, maybe you should go to bed?”

“I think I will,” Toriel sighed and stood, folding the blanket and placing on the back of the chair, “you look tired too, my friend. I suggest you go to bed as well.”

“ok,” He said, marking the page before closing the book and setting it to the side. He stood and stretched. She was surprised by all the pops and cracks his bones made.

“Oh my, that can’t be comfortable,” She had been worried about his health for a while, since the day she learned of his diet. Hearing all that noise was not helping those concerns.

“it’s okay tori, skeletons don’t have the cartilage human bones do to keep them from touching, just magic. and when we sit for a while the bones can settle wrong. so by stretching i can realigned them back into place and it can get a little noisy,” He grinned, “nothing to get ‘ _ rattled _ ’ over. it feels pretty good, actually” He said, teasing out a few more pops from his spine.

The pun made her snicker; but, it brought back the memory of possibly hearing a rattling noise through the door after telling some puns. But with the door in the way it was hard to tell what she was hearing, though now she was fairly certain she knew what she heard, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but do skeleton bones rattle when they are upset?”

He shifted a little, as if self conscious about the subject, “well, yes and no. yes, in the sense that we do rattle if we are upset enough to. but, uh, no, when you understand there are different rattles for various emotions ranging from very happy to very enraged. skeleton children rattle a lot more than adults, and as they grow up they learn to control it.”

“So then, a good few months ago I remember hearing a noise that was like rattling after telling a joke. I remember hearing you laugh so hard and another sound in the background,” Toriel noticed Sans’s eye lights shrink a little and he looked away, fidgeting slightly. “I’m sorry, if talking about this is uncomfortable for you.”

“no,” His eye lights returning to their usual size before he turned back to her, “No, it’s alright, it’s just…,” he went silent, looking away again while his eye sockets go dark. Tori decided to wait, staying quiet, until Sans was ready to finish his thought. She wondered if he even would. Finally he looked back up, lights returned as he put his hands into the jacket pockets, though they continued to fidget as he spoke, “y’know how i said adults can control it? well, uh, it’s still an instinctual kinda thing, so…. sometimes it just happens… and, your, uh, joke, well… it made me really happy and that just... happened.”

Toriel felt herself smile for multiple reasons. One being that that confession was undoubtedly cute, or, well, sweet. She doubted he’d want to hear her saying that he was cute right now. Another reason is he actually opened up to her about it instead of avoiding or hiding the truth. That was a step in the right direction, “Oh, that’s wonderful to hear. I’m glad my joke made you so happy. There were a few of your jokes that made me bleat, though I did stifle them because it is rather embarrassing.” She felt it was only fair to confess something to him since he did seem uncomfortable sharing his own.

His smile changed to a wide grin, “is that so? welp, i think i have a goal now.”

“Wh-what? Sans, no,” she laughed, “I told you, it’s embarrassing.”

He closed his eyes still grinning, “come on tori, y’heard me rattle so it’s only fair i get to hear a bleat while you laugh.”

She grinned putting her hands on her hips, “Is that so, well I barely heard you rattling through the door and over you’re laughing. If we are talking about fair then I should get to hear you rattle again without a door between us. So, if you’re going to make me bleat then I’ll be trying to make you rattle.”

He paused, as if frozen in place. She was surprised by the quiet and began to wonder if rattling was as embarrassing to him as her bleating is to her. Finally he sighed and shook his head, “fine, but good luck. i’ve only rattled once since I grew up, and you heard it.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I, for some reason, feel Toriel would be a Burn Notice fan; which, is why she is reading a book about an ex-spy… Huh… Grillby would put a new meaning to "Burn Notice." -dum dum tss- … “My name is Grillby Westen…” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXivFNyfm7U


	4. Snailed it, or not…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Couples squabble... that's a thing they do, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I wasn’t sure if this chapter and the next one should've been switched. But the person I have tied up in my basement, and forced to be my beta reader, feels this fits better as chapter four. He seems to like it… or at least he’s not complaining that much about being a “captive audience” and providing nice comments. But then, he might be saying that stuff to make sure I feed him this week. Oh well. -shrugs-

_ “papyrus has been really enjoying his cooking lessons lately. he’s been encouraging me to stay home for dinner more. i like spaghetti, don’t get me wrong, but i’m getting tired of it. but he is so happy making it for me,” the man on the other side said with a sigh, “and it’s not like he eats any of it himself. our fridge is filled with spaghetti. i can’t help but cringe every time i open the door and look in. to him it is his food museum, to me it’s the time line of inedible to indigestion that i’ve dealt with for the past few months.” _

_ “Oh dear, sorry that I am laughing at that,” Toriel said, trying to hold back her giggles. The way he said that though had an aspect of humor to it, as if asking for someone to help him make light of it. _

_ “it’s cool, you’re free to laugh at my misery,” he chuckled. _

_ “No!” she laughed again, “that’s horrible! By the way, did you try the recipe I gave you?” _

_ “the pie turned out pretty good,  _ dough _ i’ll admit, i ended up going with store bought crust. i’m sorry, i tried, but i just couldn’t get it right. papyrus kept calling it a quiche. he’s never really enjoyed sweets; so, i’m not sure he believed me when I said not all pies have crust on the top.” _

_ “Quiche does look like pie, so I understand the confusion,” she smiled. _

_ “as for the lasagna… did i tell you about this weird dog that sometimes gets in our house?” _

_ She thought for a moment, then Toriel replied, “No, I don’t believe you have.” _

_ “huh, well, there is this little, fluffy, white dog, kinda cute actually but it seems to like annoying my bro. we had some of the lasagna but it literally absorbed the rest,” He chuckled, “it must think it’s good, after all i can’t get it to do the same with the spaghetti. and anytime we make the lasagna it just ends up absorbing it before we get a chance to eat it.” _

_ “Oh my, that sounds like quite the situation! Do you have any idea how it gets in?” _

_ “absolutely none. it just randomly shows up when we don’t expect it. and even though everyone in town knows about this dog, no one knows who he is or what dog family he belongs to. anyway, other than annoying my brother I don’t actually mind him,” He says passively. _

_ “Over all it doesn’t sound like much bothers you,” she mused. _

_ “yeah, I’ve got pretty  _ thick skin _ for most things,” Today must of been a good day for him, his voice had a light heartedness to it. Something it had been lacking the last few days. His laugh sounded so full of the happiness, it did her soul well to hear him like this. _

_ Toriel was embarrassed to admit she was blushing, though the evidence of it was hidden by her fur. Not that there was anyone around to see either way. It just seemed so odd for her, someone who is as old as she, is to fall in love with a laugh. _

_ No, that’s not right. She isn’t old, just long lived. Boss monsters only age if they are living with their parents or have children. Asriel, her son, died when he was young, and she was a young mother. Still, all these years alone, seeing all those children walk out this door to their death, wore at her, and made her feel older. _

_ It was boring here, on her side of the door. But it was a sacrifice she made to try and keep the human children safe. A task she has failed at time and time again. It is depressing to think about. It made her wonder what made her new friend feel better. _

_ “So far it seems like all anyone needs to do to stay on your good side is not mess with your brother,” she said thoughtfully.  _

_ “I’m a simple guy with simple needs,” he chuckled. _

_ “That keeps you from getting angry; but, what makes you happy?” Toriel asked. _

_ “Hanging with you and my bro.” _

_ “Anything else?” _

_ “Nothing makes me happier than spending time with my  _ sweet _ brother pa- _ pie- _ rus or  _ yolk _ ing around with you.  _ Mint _ as well say that you two are the  _ frosting _ of the cake of life,” his reply caused her to laugh and she stifled a bleat. _

* * *

 

 

Sans never once imagined he would enjoy eating snail before in his life, but Toriel managed to accomplish the impossible time and time again. It didn’t hurt that they were apparently good with ketchup. They had eaten lunch while they waited for the apple pie they made to bake. Today was turning out to be yet another enjoyable day. 

A few months have passed since they arrived in the ruins together. During this time Sans had to hand it to Tori, he didn’t have much time to just sit and dwell about the past. Especially after the night she found him up late.

A nightmare had woken him up that night, and he moved quietly to the kitchen to make himself a midnight snack. The hall light or something must of woken her up. He noted she seems to be a light sleeper and has since then changed his system. Sans knows the house well enough that if he feels he needs to get up again he can do it in the dark.

So now, in the morning, there are usually some task that needs to be done, from tending the garden to some typical household chore. And the small job does take his mind off his dreams while he waits for breakfast. He was never a fan of work, yet he doesn’t complain about it to Tori. Of the chores the only one he will try to wheedle out of is dusting. Not that the action of dusting is a problem, it just that it tends to remind him of things he’d rather not remember. 

On most days, after lunch, they both walk to the place the human fell. First few times he offered using a shortcut, but Tori insists on walking it. She says she wants to make sure they don’t miss a human wandering around on their own.

The walk, for the most part, is enjoyable. Sans could almost see the look Papyrus would give him if he were alive to see this. That “I know what’s up” look he gave Undyne when she went on about Alphys. But, it is time he gets to spend with Tori, enjoying the scenery either in silence or with idle chit-chat. Not that he doesn’t get to do that in the house, but something about walking beside her made it different. This space of time was always pleasant; that is, until she decides the topic of discussion is  _ the kid _ . And today happened to be one of those days. 

They had set the pie on the counter to cool and started their walk. It had started pleasant enough; honestly, he was amazed at how well he has been doing with them. First few he was exhausted part way through and wanting to rest. Another thing he could see the look his bro would give him, a “I told you so” look. Papyrus had been telling him for a while he needed to increase his endurance and stop using shortcuts for everything. He was thinking about this in silence when Toriel spoke.

“I wonder how they are doing?” She asked. Her voice was so pleasant to hear, and he longed to hear her bleat when she laughs. But, he had been holding off, knowing it is embarrassing for her and she has yet to get close to making him rattle.

“hm? who?” Sans looked over and up at Tori.

“The child,” Toriel sighed, “I worry about them. I hope they made it home safely, they were so adamant on leaving. Do you think they had a family who loved them?”

“most likely,” Sans shrugged, hoping she’d stop there. He was about to be disappointed.

“You never did tell me about your time watching them,” Tori erged, looking back down at him.

Sans kicked a small stone in the path off to the side as he walked, “well, what is there to say, really? they just moved through the underground, doing what they felt they needed to do. i didn’t really talk with them much.” He finished his thought silently in his head, ‘and i watched them, hoping that they would die over and over again then get fed up and restart. then maybe when they tried again they won't kill my brother.’

Toriel stopped walking and Sans took two steps before stopping and looking back. “tori?” He looked at her, unsure of what was going on or what he should do about it. There was a look in her eyes he didn’t like. It was a look that felt like she was trying to read him, and maybe she was. Worried he might give something away in this silence he casually shrugged, “i’m  _ patella _ ling you, i’m sure they are fine. the kid was anything but  _ spineless _ and i’m sure they found their way after leaving the underground.”

Toriel smiled, still looking at him silently for a few seconds, but that stretch of time felt like minutes. Then she nodded and started walking again before asking, “But why would a child come here in the first place?”

“my guess: curiosity, or  _ tibia _ an adventurer. when i did talk to them before they left i was a little  _ sternum _ with them, letting them know coming down here was a bad  _ fall back plan _ ,” happy he got her to laugh, he hoped that would be the end of the subject. He looked back at her, wanting to see her smile. That looks was still in her eyes, she was still trying to learn more than he wanted to say. That means Tori knows that he isn’t being completely honest with her. 

“Did your  _ vertebro _ meet the human?”

Why? Why did she have to touch on that subject? Fine, if she wants to play detective he will just step up his game aswell. With a chuckle and a shrug he turned to face forward and continue walking, “‘course he did. in fact, they did me a real favor since he had been feeling a little down that week. he was so happy to see a real human. it was  _ humerus  _ watching how excited he was when they tried his puzzles.”

“I’m happy that all worked out,” Toriel’s tone hinted she was smiling.

“no reason it wouldn’t,” Sans smiled, it was his mask of a smile he wears most of the time, “paps mastered magic. if there was a need to fight anyone he can lower their HP to one and capture them, with ease and perfect precision. there is no accidents when it comes to him. every spell he casts is under his control and he’d never kill a person, even if others may think they deserve it. so the kid had nothing to fear from him.” He then continued in bitter anger, inwardly, ‘but that brat still killed my brother. the coolest, sweetest, most harmless monster in the underground they killed. and for what? a slight change in dialog?’

“You must miss him very much.”

“hey, tori, can we talk about something else?” He kept his eyes straight ahead of himself as they walked, not wanting to look at her incase his eye sockets give anything away.

She was silent and he felt her paw on his shoulder, it felt comforting. After dealing with forcing down all the pain he felt, having her comfort was like a light glowing in the darkness. His bones almost gave a happy shiver, as if wanting to shake off the sadness, but he kept it from happening. Being happy was not something he would allow himself to be. Not with his brother dead because he did nothing. It should be him dead while his brother gets to live, not the way it is now.

“Sans,” She finally said.

“yea toriiIII?!” Sans voice rose as he felt the ground disappear from under him. One of his slippers fell from his foot and the other was close to following its match. He glanced back at Tori, she was hugging him around the ribcage, eyes closed. “tori?”

“I don’t know why you won't talk to me about it, you obviously hurt and if it has anything to do with me or if there is anyway I can help, please let me,” she said before hiding her face into his back.

“it’s fine.”

“No it isn’t,” She said firmly, “Please, Sans, you don’t have to talk to me yet, but promise me you will eventually.”

“you know how i feel about promises,” She didn’t respond and continued to hug him. This wasn’t fair. Undoubtedly, he was feeling angry, she had no right to be forcing him into a promise like this. But he wasn’t about to yell at her over it, she meant well. Finally his frustration with this situation boiled over and caused him to sigh, “dammit, tori, i surrender. i’ll eventually tell you what’s going on with my bro, i-” he felt the magic around his stomach area knot, “i promise.”

“And”

“and?”

“Sans, I don’t think it is just what is going on between you and your brother that is upsetting you so much. When I first got to know you, through the door, I heard such burden in your voice. That was well before you and your brother fought,” He winced as she sounded near tears.

“man, you’re killing me here,” He felt her hug tighten.

“Don’t says that,” And now she was crying.

“i’m sorry,” He struggled, trying to get himself turned the other way so he can hug her. When she felt him start to move she just clung on even tighter and he gave in, “i’m really sorry, that was poor choice of words. but… ok, i’ll tell you everything one day, but i’m currently far from ready.” He had hoped that saying that would cause her to ease up but she continued holding him in silence. It was a good thing the only monster around to possibly witness this scene was a random moldsmal. It squelched along, paying them no attention as it went.

Now that things had quieted down he noticed how warm and comfortable he actually was in Tori’s arms. He started to yawn but the task was hard with how tightly she was holding him around his ribcage. The world around him began to unfocus as sleepiness was starting to take hold of him. In the background he thought he heard Tori’s voice saying something, but failed to understand what was said as he began to doze off.

 

* * *

 

 

Tori had carried Sans through the ruins as he slept. He didn’t wake until they got back to her house. Rubbing drowsiness from his eye sockets after she set him down, he heard her move past him as she walked toward the kitchen. That was the best sleep he had in a long time. Turning he shuffled along behind her, figuring the pie was ready.

She was being oddly quiet. Sans hesitated, “sorry i fell asleep on you like that.”

“It’s fine,” Sans cringed at the sharpness of Tori’s tone as she spoke, “I should be used to it by now.”

Crap. What had she said as he started to doze off? It must have been important and he just ignored it and fell asleep. Now she was clearly angry with him. Something she has never been before. Toriel has been upset with something he has said or done before, but never angry. It seemed wrong to ask her to repeat what she had said, ‘oh yea, tori, i didn’t care to listen before, but now that you're pissed at me i see it was important. mind repeating it for me so i can listen this time?’ No matter how he worded it that is what she would hear, and he wouldn’t blame her.

“I’m going to sit outside as I eat,” Tori said as she turned, not looking at him, as she walked out of the kitchen.

“may I join you?” Sans ask, watching her.

She stopped for a moment then looked down at him. He had been longing for her to look down at him, but, now that she did, he regretted it. There was so much frustration and anger pointed at him in that moment he couldn’t help but step back, defensively. Tori then looked away and started walking again, “Do what you want.”

Sans watched in silence as she walked out of the house before bringing both hands up over his eyes and forehead. He was so angry at himself at that moment. Slowly he dragged his hands down his face till the were covering his mouth, sighing in the process. “now what,” he asked himself outloud. Was that it? Did she have enough of him hanging around? Why’d she put up with him this long is a marvel.

All interest in how the pie turned out gone, Sans walked to his room and closed himself up. Like always. He looked around the room filled with things he never would of gotten for himself. He never needed it, wanted it, or deserved it. He looked at the bed frame, remembering when he bought that car bed for Papyrus. He could’ve bought both of them simple bed frames or that car bed for Paps. Sans could have slept on the floor for all he cared. Seeing the look of glee on his brother's face when he saw the red sports car in his room that night was worth every cent.

Carefully, Sans pulled out Papyrus’s scarf and unfolded it. Tucked within was his brother’s cell phone. Dutifully charged and still operating because Papyrus’s idiot of a brother can’t let go. Sans still clung to his little brother; even in death Paps felt like a lifeline. Sitting on the floor by the bed Sans looked through his brother’s contacts, looking for the one he never cared to add to his own. Finding it, he hit the call button and waited. He wondered if the kid still had this number. The phone went to voicemail, the kid’s voice telling him to leave a message.

And what a message he left. All the anger and frustration he had built up over every day that went by since the kid killed Papyrus poured out of him. If it were possible to actually hurt someone through a phone he would have.

He then hung up and looked at his brother’s phone. He opened the photo album and looked through all the things his brother thought to take pictures of. There were a few selfies, pictures of his puzzles, and pictures of Snowdin at different times of the year. Papyrus, dear sweet Papyrus. He saw beauty in everything. Some of the pictures on the phone could have been placed in a museum. And then he saw the pictures of himself. Some he remembered Papyrus taking, but a few his younger brother took while he wasn’t paying attention. Those pictures were also amazing, but he couldn’t help but wonder how much better they would’ve been had Paps not made sure Sans was the subject.

With a shuddering sigh he turned the phone off and stood, putting it into the back of a random drawer, “sorry, bro, i’m… i’m just not what you thought of me.” He closed the drawer, neatly folded the scarf back up and placed it back in its pocket. Leaving his room he found a book he hadn’t read yet and sat on the floor by the chair, reading. 

This wasn’t what he wanted. Sans wanted to go outside by Tori, cling to her like the piece of garbage he is. Justifying it with that promised he made, that he would keep her company. But he didn’t because, judging by how she left the house, he figured she wanted to be alone. So, this was what he was going to do. And if Tori asks him to leave when she comes back in, what more could he say than, ‘thanks for putting up with me as long as you did.’

 

* * *

 

 

Toriel sat outside, alone, looking down at the pie slice she has not yet touched. As frustrated as she felt at Sans, she wished he would have come with her. Vision blurred as she felt tears enter her eyes, fear twisting in her soul at the thought of walking in the house later to find he is gone. How long was he going to be willing to stay with her? After what she just did, and the unreasonable anger she directed at him, she wouldn’t blame him for leaving.

And yet, that didn’t seem like Sans. He stayed with her this long, would her tantrum really be it? No, he made a promise to keep her company. Then she forced him to make a new promise. A promise it was clear he didn’t want to make, but… but she couldn’t stand seeing him like that because...

Because he was so kind to her…

Because he made her so happy...

Because he deserved to be happy…

Because he was her friend…

Because she… she…

She finally ate a piece of the pie and started to cry. They were so happy when they made the pie, or at least they seemed to be. She was happy. She was with her friend, doing something she loved with someone she loved. And yet, was he happy? Was he ever happy? It hurt to think her friend, the person that each day she was loving more and more, wasn’t feeling joy while she was. And why he won't tell her what was keeping him from happiness and carry the pain alone hurt even more.

Why? Why did he have to fall asleep when she opened up about these feeling to him? It was agonizing to know that he didn’t hear those words. Sans had no idea how hard it was for her to do that. For her to express love again after what happened with Asgore. 

Did she have the right to love again? After abandoning her husband like she did. 

‘For better or  _ worse _ .’ She set the pie down next to her as she wept. What had those words meant to her. What had her marriage to Asgore meant to her if she couldn’t keep her vows. She allowed her sadness to consume her and she ran away. And now, what would her love mean to Sans? 

Maybe it was for the best he didn’t hear what she said. Everyone knew her history, so no doubt he did too. Her love meant nothing. She couldn’t save the children from her husband because she couldn’t bring herself to save _him_.

Time passed and she eventually forced herself to stand and walk back into the house. Sans was on the floor by the chair, looking at her, “hey” he said quietly in greeting. There was a tenseness in his voice as he watched her, most likely trying to figure out if she was still angry.

She smiled at him, “Have you tried the pie yet?”

“uh, nah, didn’t have the  _ stomach _ for it at the time,” He winked as he made the pun. And she snorted as she tried not to giggle.

“Oh Sans, you’re incorrigible,” She walked into the kitchen and retrieved a slice for him. Returning to the chair she sat down on the floor next to him and handed him the plate. He placed his book mark and took the slice, “I can’t help but  _ pun _ der where you got your sense of humor.”

“y’know, paps used to do the same, really wracked his  _ brain _ over it he told me. i didn’t have the  _ guts _ to remind him as a skeleton he didn’t have one. at least he had the  _ backbone _ to try the impossible, and he put a skele _ ton _ of effort into it,” Sans’s puns really lightened the mood and she found herself laughing at the end of that story.

“Oh, stop and eat your pie already!” She grinned.

Sans took a bite and then smiled, “I’ve  _ goat _ to  _ hoof _ it to you, Tori, I think this is the  _ baaaa-est _ thing I’ve helped you bake. And it’s  _ apple _ ing to look at too.”

She was laughing harder now and she had to set her own plate aside.

“ _ Pie  _ the way, I’ll admit it, I tried baking before the time you gave me that recipe. And I just didn’t  _ slice _ it. It was a total  _ pie _ tastraphy. I’ll spare you the details of that pa _ story _ , just know, it wasn’t a  _ cake _ walk, I made sure I cleaned up my mess. It was the  _ yeast _ I could do,” Sans paused only a moment before he continued, “You, though, are an  _ egg _ cellent baker and  _ rise _ to the challenge.  _ Dough _ , you are good at more than baking. You’re an amazing chef too, what you can make with cheese is beyond  _ grate _ .”

And with that she was laughing so hard she bleated. She gasped and covered her mouth, looking over at him. The look on his face changed from shock to a wide grin, “You, you were trying to do that, weren’t you.”

He continued grinning as he shrugged, taking another bite of pie, “Hey, I warned you I would be.”

“You evil, evil, skeleton you!” She pointed her fork at him, “I am now doubling my efforts to get you to rattle, you hear me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’know, I give you all mad props for reading my stuff. By the way, this is page 29 of 104 of the document that I have written this in. A lot is roughly written, just needs edited and polished. So… yea, more to come. Oh, and I ain’t done yet. In fact, this is shaping out to be a two parter story...


	5. This chapter title is punder construction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleep disorders happen. Can you guess who has what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve spent a long time trying to think of a better title for this chapter, but I’ve failed. So, I’m leaving it as is. Perhaps in time I will finish the punstruction, but for now, the title is cemented in place. Anyway, I was thinking I’d post this earlier in the week. Then life sucker punched me… I wonder what Cave Johnson would recommend for that. (If you're confused, watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dt6iTwVIiMM )  
> Anyway, then I just futz with it, and delayed it more because I just wasn’t feeling happy with it. Finally I’ve given up and here it is in all its lackluster glory.

_ Sans sighed, leaning against the door. He debated excusing himself as being sick and going home. And naturally, she will then lecture him about why it is unhealthy to sit in the cold and snow. Or, at least, that is what he thinks he remembers she will do next. _

_ It frustrated him that this was now an annoying task that needs to be done. Joke telling through the door was the second best thing in his life. But after hearing the same jokes over and over... even this lazy comedian finds the same act gets boring after a while. _

_ After taking off his right mitten, he held out five fingers as he thought. What should he do? Sans likes this lady, a lot. He hated to see the people he loved trapped, unknowingly, in these time loops. _

_ Four. _

_ Yet, what good did knowing actually do? After all, he knew; and he was wondering how much more he can take? He was slipping. Papyrus noticed that Sans changed, she was bound to as well. _

_ Three. _

_ And why should he burden her with his problems? He was feeling desperate, clinging to whatever he had decided was important. And sadly, that amounted to just Papyrus and her. _

_ Two. _

_ That wasn’t fair for either of them. He can’t just hang on them because he was starting to crack. _

_ One. _

_ The only way he saw to prevent himself from sharing his problems was to stop meeting her. But, if he did that, she would be lonely again. Sans didn’t like that thought either. So no, he can’t fake being sick. _

_ As he curled back the last finger he chanted in his head, ‘please be late,’ over and over again. Hoping for a change of some kind. There was a knock at the door followed by her voice, “knock, knock.” _

_ “who’s there?” He replied, trying to keep his tone happy sounding. _

_ Something started to drift down onto him and he first registered it at snow, but as he extended a mittened hand to look at it he saw it was dust. His magic twisted where his stomach should be and his eye sockets dimmed. _

_ Above him came a cackling voice, distorted, “You’re best nightmare!” _

_ Sans looked up to see a golden-yellow… _

  
  


_ Eye sockets snapped open and Sans quickly looked around. He put his mittened hands over his mouth to muffle is breathing. What did he just dream? Is this another time loop? And if so, what day and when is it. Cautiously looking around again, slower, he saw he was out in the woods, sitting by the door. He was safe, but what about Papyrus? What about the lady? _

_ “Knock, knock” a voice, the lady’s voice, said. _

_ He felt his eye sockets dim to nothing. Should he respond? He was afraid to. What was going to happen if he did? What just happened in that… dream? Was it a loop? Would it happen again? _

_ Needless to say, he was feeling rattled, for once pun not intended. To make matter worse, he wanted to rattle. To shake off this fear. But he fought to keep that desire in check. At this point, he wasn’t sure what it was he really should do. So far he just examined his surroundings, making sure that he was alone on this side of the door, even looking up to be sure. _

_ “I must be the first here…” he heard the lady say from the other side of the door.  Her soft footsteps could hear as she moved to sit down. _

_ But the question remained, what should he do? It seemed wrong to tell her, but at the same time it seemed wrong to leave her in the dark about this. How much longer was the anomaly going to play with time? So far, it seems like this toying with people’s lives was going to continue endlessly. He didn’t notice as much when they weren’t aggressive. Just the odd deja vu feeling now and then. But once they started killing, they increased the amount of times they looped time. And when the loops involved someone he knew, or Papyrus, Sans couldn’t help but notice. _

_ He pulled his hood up, wanting to curl in on himself but afraid of moving too much and giving away he was here. ‘Coward, are you actually hiding from your friend?’ he asked himself silently as he closed his eye sockets. Taking a deep breath to try calming his nerves he finally spoke, “heya, i’m here, actually.” Sans winced hearing his voice. It didn’t hide what he was going through very well, cracking slightly and sounding tired. _

_ “Oh! Are you alright?” She asked. _

_ “...yea, just woke up,” relieved he was able to make himself sound better this time around. _

_ “I’m sorry, were you waiting long?” _

_ “don’t worry about it,” he rested his head against the door, “i was earlier than normal.” _

_ “My dear friend, you still do not sound well, maybe you should go home?” She asked. _

_ And there was his out. He could use it and avoid today and any awkwardness that may follow. ...Wait… he wasn’t looking for an excuse to leave was he? He closed his eye sockets and thought for a moment. No,  _ **_he_ ** _ wasn’t; but, the Sans in the loop before him was. He chuckled bitterly, a part of him not caring if he is heard. _

_ “Friend?” _

_ He plastered on a smile, the one he has been slowly learning to wear. Eye lights returned, feigning a relaxed and happy look. “naw, i’m alright. i’ve got a few good jokes i’ve been  _ dying _ to tell you. if i go home now i’ll have to wait to tell them to you. a real shame since i promise they are real  _ rib ticklers _ ,” it was almost scary how calm his voice suddenly became. _

 

* * *

 

_ Toriel looked at the door, silent. She heard the response, and even though it sounded as if she should relax, she didn’t. No matter how composed he made himself sound right now that chuckle still echoed in her head. His sudden change in tone caused a chill to run through her. It was as if he had made his voice into a stone wall to hide his true self behind, the self she had just started to get to know. _

_ And why was ‘dying’ emphasised as a pun… _

_ “lady?” His tone softened more like his true voice again. _

_ “I know you said you had jokes you wanted to share today, but do you mind if we just talk?” _

_ The man on the other side of the door didn’t respond right away, and Toriel hoped she didn’t offend him. She had gotten to enjoy his laugh, but she liked his real laugh. After all she has heard she feared the only sound she would get from him is that odd, happiless, laugh he has been using lately. _

_ “that’s fine, i, uh…,” His voice was mostly steady, but she had gotten to know it enough the hear the weakness behind it. It tore at her heart that she couldn’t help him. _

_...couldn’t or wouldn’t… _

_ The door is not sealed shut from her side… _

_ “i think talking would be great actually, not feeling that funny i guess,” he finally finished. _

_ ‘Toriel… you coward.’ _

 

* * *

 

Toriel woke up to the sound of something falling, and, what she believed to be, a short yelp of pain from the next room. She rubbed her face, mind blurry, as she tried to piece together the sounds into meaning. It wasn’t that long ago that she had fallen asleep; her mind trying to operate on an hour of poor rest. 

From the hall outside of her room she could hear a door opening and the sound of someone moving toward the kitchen. It must have been Sans moving around that woke her up.This isn’t the first time she has heard him out there since she approached him about this habit. It seemed to be a more common occurrence, lately. Normally, she is too tired to get up, but, she doubts she will be getting much sleep either way.

To be sure, she put some real consideration into just rolling over and trying to go back to sleep. She was exhausted and just didn’t feel she was in the right mood, or state of mind, to be trying to help someone else. That train of thought soon filled her with guilt and now she was wide awake. Besides, he did sound hurt and may need healing. Pushing aside all reluctance, she pulled the covers off and slipped out of bed. Putting on her bathrobe, leaving it untied for added warmth instead of modesty. She was in her pajamas, after all, which are by no means revealing.

Walking into the hall, she saw that he had not bothered to turn on any lights. For some reason he chose to navigated through the dark. As she thought about this, she lite her way with magic till she reached the sitting room. She could hear him moving around the kitchen, lights still not on, and felt a shiver traveled up her spine. Was he sleep walking or has he done this enough times that he didn’t need lights?

She rubbed her eyes with her free hand, remembering last time. Toriel had told Sans that she was woken up by the lights. So, in order to not disturb her he was staying in the dark. That wasn’t the result she wanted when she spoke to him about this. She wanted him to start using her as a source of comfort; not continue suffering alone.

Turning on the lamp by her chair, she heard him stop moving when the light filled the room and over flowed slightly past the kitchen doorway. Toriel then calmly walked to the kitchen and looked in. From where she stood she could see his two startled eyelights looking back at her from the darkness by the counter. Neither said anything for a moment as she wasn’t even sure what to say.

“you, uh, hungry too?” Sans finally broke the awkwardness.

“Hungry?” She frowned. Well, she thought she was wide awake, but her mind was still slow at processing the information she was taking in.

“yea, making myself a midnight snack, you want one?”

She shook her head and frowned, “Why are you in the dark?”

“I, uh, was trying not to wake you,” he shrugged, “but, seems i failed at that. sorry.” She heard a heaviness in his voice. The words ‘I failed’ seemed to carry more meaning to him at that moment, as his voice wavered while saying them. 

“I thought I heard you call out in pain,” she wanted a better look at him and narrowed her eyes. They were adjusting to the dark but still not enough for her to really see him. There was also a smell in the air that Toriel knew but her mind didn’t understand it right now. It just seemed out of place and she reached over, “I’m going to turn on the lights.”

He was still blinking from the change in lighting when she walked over to the counter. She saw a mug, and the source of the smell. With that, the information clicked into place, “Sans, mind  _ enlightening _ me as to why you made yourself coffee? If you weren’t having trouble sleeping before you definitely will now.”

Toriel heard one of his dry, humorless chuckles in response and looked over at him. He wasn’t looking at her, and she figured he was trying to think of something other than the truth to say. When someone is dodging the truth it most likely means you won't like the answer. Knowing that, she figured it out herself, “Or is that the point? You don’t want to sleep?”

His eye lights darkened and his usual smile slipped slightly. To most, he would still appear to be smiling. Toriel, though, has learned that is what Sans looks like when he is frowning. Between his tone of voice from before and his current silence, she sensed he was a ball of tied up emotion. It wouldn’t surprise her, considering he hardly seems to know what to do with them.

Normally she would back down and not push him. But not now. Now he desperately needed help, it was clear to see. “How often does this happen?” She asked calmly. 

Sans’s eyes stay dark and his hands start to go for his jacket pockets, but he is just in a t-shirt and shorts. Quickly, he readjusts and shoves them in his shorts pockets then pulled his arms in close to the rest of his body; he was trying to disappear. She knew the answer is a lot but he says, “a couple of times.”

That annoyed her. Had this been one of her children lying to her she never would of put up with it. But, despite his short stature, and current behavior, Sans is an adult. And even though he most likely wouldn’t say anything about it, she was not about to lecture him. Instead she sighed and rubbed her tired eyes with a paw while she considered Papyrus, and how he must have the patience of a saint. Calmly she replied, “Enough times to know your way around my kitchen better than I do, it seems.”

Upon her saying that, Sans tried bringing his arms even closer to his body, rounding his shoulders in the process. It was clear he knew he was caught and he didn’t say anything to refute that. With a sigh Toriel picked up the mug and dumped the contents down her sink. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a hint of panic on Sans’s face. It made her almost feel guilty, as if she just dumped something he vitally needed.

Staying resolute that this was for his own good, she rinsed out the mug and grabbed another for herself. Then she pulled out a pot and retrieved the milk from the refrigerator. As she worked she said softly, “I thought I heard you make a pained sound, what happened?”

“oh, i, uh… fell out of bed,” He said.

Applying what she knew of him, she could figure out why, “Was it a bad dream? Is that why you don’t want to go back to sleep?”

“...yeah…”

Finished with making the hot chocolate, she poured some into each mug and offered one to Sans. He took it with a slight hint of hesitation; but she ignored that for now. Calmly, she gestured for him to follow her. 

They walked out into the sitting room, and Toriel decided to make it more welcoming for sleeping. She first lit the fireplace before turning off the lamp, letting her warm firelight provide a relaxing glow. Grabbing her crocheted blanket, she then walked over to the sofa they had just bought the day before. It was good timing, she was tired of them not being able to really sit together. She sat on one end and patted for Sans to come sit by her.

Silently the small skeleton moved over and sat, putting a small amount of space between them. Normally, that would be okay, but not right now. In one sweeping movement, she moved her arm around him, pulling him in closer. He sat beside her like a statue, seeming unable to move. She could practically feel the knot of emotions he was feeling as he sat next to her. Wanting to help him, she decides to employ calm guidance. With care, she may be able to coax him back to sleep.

“Let’s just relax and drink while it’s still warm,” She offered gently while covering both their laps with the blanket. Toriel watched as he looked into the mug and then slowly sipped the contents. It surprised her that the warmth of the liquid and the fireplace was not enough to cause him to become drowsy like normal. Instead he sat there, still and silent but awake, moving only to drink.

To break up the silence, and in an attempt to get more of a reaction from him, Toriel offered a few jokes. Sans smiled, but that is all. And no matter the quality of the joke, the smile he offered was never his genuine smile. It was that false one he seems to use to detract attention to himself. He finished the hot chocolate and just stared in the mug for a moment before Toriel took it from him.

“I know you’ve had nightmares before, and I wish you didn’t feel the need to hid them from me. My friend, I just want to help. How did your brother help you, or did you try hiding it from him as well?”

What happened next she wasn’t expecting. Sans raised a hand to his face as his body started to shake and he started to curled in on himself. His other arm wrapped around his chest in a half hug, his hand holding tightly to the fabric of his shirt. Pulling him in closer with her left arm, Toriel held him tight before he could try to move away. He muttered something she couldn’t understand before finally saying, “i... sorry, i shouldn’t… i’ll go back to bed.”

Toriel sighed and closed her eyes, completing the hug as she wrapped her right arm around him. “No, I don’t think you should be alone right now,” She said while lightly resting her head on the top of his skull.

He moved slightly, shifting toward her and slowly reaching his own arms around her in a hug. That’s when she felt him shiver and heard the sad, melancholy sound that followed. It was undoubtedly a rattle, but not the happy one she wanted to hear. It was a sound that caused a pang of sorrow in her soul. A non-verbal plea for support.

Toriel closed her eyes and thought, trying to think of something else that might help him relax. Almost instinctively, she started to hum a tune she hasn’t song in a long time, but still knew well. Many tearful nights from children having bad dreams had caused the song to be ingrained in her soul. It didn’t seem right to sing the words, as it is a lullaby was for children, but the melody should still work.

She finally felt him start to relax, and the rattling stopped as his breathing calmed. Now that he was no longer in distress it didn’t take long for him to fall asleep. Toriel decided that she would stay with him a bit longer before returning to her bed. Yawning quietly, not wanting to wake him, she shifted into a more comfortable position. His soft snoring making her drowsy...

 

* * *

 

Sans didn’t want to wake up. He was snuggled up to something warm and soft that smelled of cinnamon and butterscotch. Still, this didn’t feel right. He had no idea where he was at that moment. It clearly didn’t feel like the bed he’d been getting used to sleeping in. Slowly, he opened his eye sockets enough to look around, his vision slow to focus. The first thing he saw was white fur…

In his half asleep state of mind, a small shiver tried to travel through him to express his true feelings about this situation, in a little joy filled... 

‘nononononononono!’

But the rattle was suppressed as he repeatedly said, ‘no’ to himself inwardly. How did he get in this situation? Okay, calm down, what  **is** the full situation? His mind replayed what happened the night before, and it wasn’t long before he was kicking himself mentally for leaving his room.

Okay, so Tori is in front of him, his face had been buried into her neck…

Maybe he could pretend he didn’t wake up…

No, he can’t do that. The idea was to preserve their friendship and not ruin it or make things awkward. He glanced around and sensed the rest of his surroundings to figure out how to fix this. It felt like his back was against the back of the sofa, and the pillow his head was on should be a sofa pillow… nope… that is Tori’s arm…

‘Relax, we can figure this out,’ he coached himself. Alright, so Tori is in front of him, his head is at her neck level. Back of sofa to his back, he can just see the fireplace over her neck. One arm is under his head, the other is… hugging him. With how light of a sleeper the boss monster has been proving to be, he had no idea how to get out of this without waking her. To his annoyance, there was still a part of him that didn’t want to try.

‘Focus, Sans, focus! Now, the sofa arm is right over your head. If you can just wiggle free from her you can crawl over the arm and-’

He had started to move; and, in the process, must of disturbed Tori. She shifted slightly and proceeded to hug him closer to herself. He had no idea how easy Tori was wake until now. He made a mental note of this, leaving his room for midnight snacks, after nightmares, was out of the question. Over his head he could hear Tori start to yawn. He could tell she will be awake soon, and his mind started to panic, unsure of what to do. Part of him wanted to make a final last ditch effort to escape; while, another wanted to give in and just enjoy this while he can.

“uh… t-tori?” he winced as his voice lacked any of the relaxed tone he normally had.

“Hmm… oh! Oh my, are you okay? I’m sorry, I… I’m just used to cuddling,” She said letting him go and sitting up. Tori looked embarrassed; which, he had to admit, was cute.

Slowly Sans sat up and smiled, “it’s okay, just… surprised… and was equally guilty.”

“I… I’m sorry if I was too controlling last night… you just seemed distressed,” She added, not looking at him, which he was fine with right now. Unlike Tori, he didn’t have fur to hide if he was blushing, which he was.

“it’s fine,” he said. He heard Tori sigh deeply, a slight sternness appearing on her face. She wasn’t buying it but opting out of getting him to say more.

Tori instead said, “I’ve only shared this house with children for the past so many years. If you feel l’m mothering you instead of being a friend, just say so, alright?” in other words she was saying, ‘i know you felt i was being controlling last night, and you won't hurt my feelings if you say so.’

“really, tori, it’s alright… i.. i wasn’t exactly being smart last night and… well you helped me, so… i can’t really complain,” he said while secretly planning in his head how not to wake her next time.

They were silent for a moment before Tori finally spoke, “I’ll go start breakfast.” He was sure there was more meaning to that. But there wasn’t enough said to know what. Though, if he had to guess, most likely it was, ‘I’m backing down on this for now. But, I’m not forgetting it.’

“ok,” Sans said. Though he was happy that was over, at the same time he felt a little defeated. 

He looked over the back of the sofa, past the table, and through the window to the outside. How bad would it of been if he had just stayed calm and enjoyed the moment? A sigh escaped him as his mind ran through the possibilities of what could have happened. Remembering what it was like, cuddled up to her. If only he could always wake up next to her. 

That’s when he saw something move outside the window. Something that was a golden yellow, a color he really did not like. He couldn’t remember why, but he knew it was dangerous. He put both hands on the back of the sofa and forced himself into a kneeling position to get a better look. All sound was drowned out by a humming of his magic, only he could hear, forcing him to focus on visual cues. Eyes narrowed in frustration and he scanned the outside while clenching his jaw so tightly his teeth started to hurt. How long had it been there? And what did it what?

It had to be the anomaly. That is the only rational reason why he had no idea what it was, but still knew it was a threat. It had to be the first one, the one before the kid. Memories from his dream from last night and others this week allowed him to piece that together. He started to prepare himself to take a shortcut outside to find and confront it. Yet, he debated if he should bother going after it. It is still a threat, it proved that. But without the power of reset will it still behave the same? Was it worth the risk to wait and see what it does? If it doesn’t do anything, then he would be expending energy needlessly. As much as he hated it, he wasn’t into the idea of killing something that wasn’t going to do anything.

“Sans?” He jumped at the voice and looked back over his shoulder at Tori. She gave him a surprised look, “Oh, you’re eye?! Are you alright?”

Raising his left hand up he noticed it reflect the cyan and yellow glow his left eye socket was giving off. She must of noticed his magic flare up and came to check on him. Turning his head, Sans glanced outside again before looking at Tori, calming his magic in the process. She seemed to relax now that he was back to two white dots for eye lights. Sans offered up a noncommittal shrug, “guess i’m still jumpy from last night.”

“It seems so,” She said as Sans glanced outside again. He was feeling a compulsive need to make sure the possible threat is really gone. When Tori spoke again, it pulled his from that, back to the here and now, “Maybe you should join me in the kitchen then? Perhaps you can help me.”

Sans looked at her and struggled not to return to staring out the window, “not sure what help i’ll be.”

“No matter, it has to be better than sitting here alone,” Tori smiled that wonderful smile she has while extending out a paw to him to join her, “besides you can keep me company.”

He looked at the paw for a moment then placed his own hand in hers. With a grin he got up and followed her into the kitchen, “with how  _ scrambled _ my head’s been this morning, maybe we should have eggs.”

“I think that sounds like an  _ eggcellent _ idea, how about having them with toast?” Tori said with a giggle.

“Sounds even  _ butter _ ,” Sans chuckled.

 

* * *

 

Toriel glanced back at the window he had been staring out so intently. …’what was that about?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it. BTW, to those who left comments: THANK YOU SO MUCH. I was feeling down the other day and just rereading them put a smile on my face.


	6. Shake, Rattle, and Roll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toriel gets up really early and makes plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a new tag I was going to add, that I couldn’t believe I had forgotten before. Funny thing is, I forgot what it is again! Seriously, the heck. Oh well, I’m sure I’ll remember it eventually. Anyway, finally done rewriting this chapter. I have to rewrite 7 now, so again, expect a wait. Oh, and Dadster will be uploading a bit more often in the near future…
> 
> IF YOU DON’T READ THE REST OF MY RAMBLING THEN PLEASE JUST READ THIS: Due to family health issues I am reordering the priorities of my writing. The person who is ill happens to like Gaster. So I am going to be making my Dadster story a priority. That does not mean The Door will not be updating, just the updates will continue to be slow.

_Sans listened to her laugh at the joke he just said. He soaked in the sound, enjoying every second it continued. Their time together this evening was coming to an end; and soon, they would part ways until tomorrow. As much as he wished he could stay longer he knew he had other obligations. He needed to make the trip back home to read to his brother; Papyrus will be waiting._

_Reading to his brother used to be the highlight of Sans’s day. He took his brotherly love and duty to Papyrus seriously. Duty really isn’t the right word for, as it was more than that to him. Papyrus was the most important person in Sans’s life; ever since he was a baby bones, Papyrus had always come first. Before, nothing came between him and caring for his little brother. After all Papyrus was the coolest brother anyone could ask for. And for a younger brother, he also made sure to help and take care of Sans, which was no small task. Sans hated that he was a burden to Pap. He made sure he did what he could so Papyrus was well care for. Maybe even going so far as to spoil him. But Paps deserved to be spoiled. For as full of himself he may seem at first impressions, Papyrus was really kind and selfless._

_On top of that, it had always been just them. Although, both did think there was some enigmatic father figure before in their lives. As to who he was, neither had a solid memory of him. Just odd, vague ideas of someone else who was once there, but just disappeared. Plus, neither had any firm memories of interacting with anyone else before adulthood. They knew they met others, and had memories of them. But no one shared those memories, or knew who they were. And what they did remember was fuzzy at best. Their most solid memories were just of themselves. As much as this bonded the brothers together, it also isolated them._

_Now, though, Sans found himself torn. He wanted to spend more time with this mysterious lady; but he can’t forget about Papyrus. Lately, he has even found himself losing focus when reading the car magazines. He finds that his mind will randomly drift off mid paragraph. Instead of thinking about which models would be best for Pap, or which articles to read to his brother, his was considering which jokes he will tell that night._

_This was new to him, and he wasn’t sure what to think. He knew people he liked to spend time with down at Grillby’s, Grillby being one of them. But never before had any of them come close to making him contemplate how bad it would be if he was a little late for reading to Papyrus._

_With how long it had been with just himself and Papyrus, Sans felt a little excited that there was someone else in the picture. Someone who was gaining the same amount of importance to him as his brother. And yet, that made him worry. He can’t let this mystery lady become more important than his bro; but that laugh, her voice, her whole personality. Being with her was like an addiction. An odd, pun fill addiction, but one he couldn’t avoid._

_His eye lights shone bright as he heard her finish laughing and start her joke. Attention solely on her voice as he listened to her joke, snickering at parts of the build up. If only time would slow down so he could linger here awhile longer. Once she gave the punch line he couldn’t help but laugh, and it was a genuine, happy laugh. As his laugh quieted he felt his smile waver. That marked the end of today’s meeting._

_“Well, it was a pleasure sharing jokes and having a pleasant chat with you again, my friend,” the Lady said._

_“as always,” Sans replied, “till tomorrow?”_

_“Till tomorrow, take care of that brother of yours,” she said in such a caring tone._

_“heh, i will, you take care of yourself, ok?” he replied._

_“I will, good night,” she said, and he could hear her start to stand._

_“night,” he replied, waited a moment, then started to walk home. Once he was sufficiently away from the door, he took a shortcut home and walked into the house._

_“THERE YOU ARE, BROTHER, I WAS WORRIED YOU MIGHT BE LATE,” Papyrus said from the sofa. The younger, but taller skeleton gave a bright, friendly smile to Sans as he turned off the TV. Pap’s smiles are infectious, and Sans found himself smiling back as he closed and locked the front door._

_“be late to reading to the coolest dude in the underground? never,” Sans said, he felt a bit of guilt for considering being late. As much as he enjoys spending time with the Lady, Pap is family._

_He walked into the kitchen to get a warm drink to sip while reading. Behind him, he heard Papyrus move from the sofa to the doorway. His brother was quiet as Sans filled a pot with water and set it on the stove to heat. As they were waiting Papyrus said, “I LEFT ANOTHER NOTE ABOUT THE SOCK.”_

_“k, i’ll get to it,” Sans waited for his water to heat up._

_“YOU’VE BEEN OUT PAST YOUR SHIFT EVERY EVENING NOW. YOU MISSED THE LATEST TV MOVIE STARRING METTATON,” Papyrus stated._

_“darn, that’s a real shame. guess i’ll have to check it out when it plays as a rerun, one of the 200 times he’ll replay it this month,” Sans chuckled._

_“HA HA, VERY FUNNY. DON’T WORRY, IT WASN’T ONE OF HIS BEST PERFORMANCES,” Papyrus huffed._

_“wait, he has best performances?”_

_“SANS! STOP CHANGING THE SUBJECT,” Papyrus stomped his foot in annoyance._

_“uh, sorry bro, what was the subject again?” Sans asked, taking the pot off stove, then poured some water in a mug, “what some?”_

_“YES, PLEASE. ...WHAT ARE YOU UP TO LATELY?” When Sans looked at him, he saw Papyrus staring at him with the look his brother gets when faced with a puzzle._

_“stuff,” Sans said, unsure what else to say to this line of questioning._

_“WHAT KIND OF STUFF,” Papyrus pushed._

_“y’know,_ punny _stuff,” Sans replied with a shrug._

 _“UGH! SANS, THAT WAS ONLY FUNNY THE FIRST TIME YOU_ **_DIDN’T_ ** _SAY IT!”_

 _Sans laughed, “awww, come on bro, you don’t find it_ humerus _in the slightest?”_

_“NO, I- WAIT, SANS, NO MORE PUNS, IT’S TOO LATE FOR THIS,” Papyrus threw his hands up in frustration and started to walk off._

_“awww, no need to be so_ sternum _,” Sans called after him as he put a tea bag in each of the mugs of hot water._

 _Papyrus stuck his head back around the doorway, looking in, “KEEP THAT UP AND YOU’RE GOING_ TIBIA _SORRY!”_

_Sans snickered, walking towards his brother, “good one, bro.”_

_Papyrus laughed, which is another laugh Sans enjoyed. He didn’t know anyone else who had a laugh like Pap’s. But his brother soon stopped and gave him that look again before declaring, “WELL, WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING, YOU SEEM TO COME BACK IN A GOOD MOOD. SO IT CAN’T BE BAD.”_

_“good mood?” Sans questioned as he followed Papyrus upstairs._

_“LATELY YOU SEEM DOWN MOST OF THE DAY. THAT IS UNTIL YOU COME HOME IN THE EVENING,” Papyrus paused before opening his door, grinning, “YOU WOULDN’T HAPPEN TO BE MEETING WITH A SECRET LOVER, WOULD YOU?”_

_That was something Sans was not expecting from his brother, and he nearly inhaled some of his tea. He looked at his brother, who was grinning back at him, “what? no, pap, i’m just going out and telling jokes, that’s all. y’know, practicing for my mtt routines.”_

_They looked at each other in silence, time seeming to freeze in that moment. Finally Papyrus walked into his room, “IF YOU SAY SO.”_

_“geez, bro, what gave you that idea, anyway?” Sans asked, setting the mugs on Papyrus’s nightstands._

_“I HEARD ONE OF THE BUNNIES TALKING ABOUT THEIR OLDER BROTHER. HE HAD JUST FALLEN IN LOVE AND THEY SAID HE WAS ALL SMILES AFTER MEETING HIS LOVER. REMINDED ME OF YOU COMING HOME IN THE EVENING.”_

_After reading to Papyrus and heading to his own bed, Sans looked up at the ceiling, awake. His mind going over what he had been thinking about earlier, followed by his brother’s analysis of his condition. ‘MEETING WITH A SECRET LOVER,’ echoed in his empty skull a few times before he finally admitted to himself, ‘i’m in love.’_

_Rolling to his side and sighing, Sans closed his eye sockets; wondering why he had to fall for someone he would never actually meet. And if she ever did leave the ruins, how disappointed would she be upon seeing him? Right now, it’s not like she really picked him for company. He just happens to be the only company she gets. Once she has options, how long before he’d be the person she used to share jokes with?_

_No, she wasn’t like that. She’d still want to be friends with him. From what Sans can tell, the lady seems very kind. She even had openly said she appreciates him, and not just his company. So, she won't push him away. But that doesn’t mean she will share his feelings. Not that it matters, he’ll never get to know since she has no intent on coming out of the ruins anyway._

 

* * *

 

  

  Toriel never thought she would enjoy living the the ruins as much as she does now. Yes, Sans is rather messy; but, he has been keeping his mess under some form of control. Either way, he makes up for it with his jokes, puns, pranks, and company. As much as she had loved their nightly talks and joke telling at the door before, she has greatly enjoyed the quiet reading together by fire light.

It wasn’t perfect, but she didn’t expect it to be. They have had a few disagreements, and it still annoyed her that Sans hasn’t opened up about his past yet. She had to admit though, he is trying to be less secretive about everything. Also, she should not forget that she did force him to make the promise. The least she can do is wait patiently for him. And, if he can deal with her flaws, she could definitely handle his. If that is the price for having him around, then she’d gladly pay it.

No, life wasn’t perfect, it was wonderful.

There was only one dark spot in this picturesque situation. It was the only thing that was putting a damper in her mood, and had her up early this morning. This one thing, this one irritating fact, this one challenge she has yet to conquer, was that he has managed to make her bleat no less than ten times; meanwhile, she has failed to make him rattle once! She was convinced that since he has heard her bleat, he is determined on making her bleat as often as he can.

    So, here she sat on her bed, at 3:30 in the morning, plotting. She couldn’t help but laugh at herself, for letting it come down to this. Honestly, it was making her feel like a child again. No matter how foolish it felt, though, this was important to her. If solving this problem meant reverting a little, then so be it.

    Toriel knew what has kept her from being successful, and it was a large roadblock. After all, how can you get someone to rattle in happiness if you fully believe they won't let themselves be happy? That was the belief she came to after observing him this long. Anytime Sans seemed to brighten up, even in the slightest, he immediately pulls back. She wanted to reach for him and get him out of that mindset. But how?

Now that they are no longer meeting at the door, she had been using her diary for something other than jokes. Like a scientist, she has been keeping notes on what has worked in making Sans seem content, relaxed, and happy for even a moment.

Sometimes she wakes up to find she fell asleep while writing in her diary. At times what she wrote, as she drifted off, causes her to blush. She knew it was written as she was falling asleep due to the messy handwriting. What was written caused her to question what she was dreaming of, or how well she could continue to hide her true feelings for him. The next morning she would see things ranging from “hugging” to “petting his skull.” Toriel could only hope and pray no one finds this diary.

Not once had she pet his skull, so she had no idea how he would react. But being the rational adult that she is, she knows randomly petting a friend on the head is not something you would do normally. And, as for the hugging, she wasn’t sure. She thinks he likes hugs, at least, he has never turned away an offer for one. But he always behaves as if they make him uncomfortable when they do hug.

This morning she again finds a new thought her half asleep mind wrote. After crossing out “massaging spine,” she started to compile what data she had obtained. Forming it into a schedule for the day. Today was going to be the day, she set her mind to it and was not about to be swayed. This will be the day her dear friend, Sans, will be happy enough to rattle.

 

* * *

 

 

Toriel cracked open the bedroom door and peeked in at Sans. He was curl up on the bed in a short sleeve shirt and shorts. The covers were mostly kicked off, save for a sheet tangled around his right foot. His face was half buried into the pillow he was hugging.

“Sans?” she said, opening the door further. Sure enough, he was out. Unlike her, he is clearly a sound sleeper and doesn’t wake easily at all. An inconvenience when she needs him, but perfect for her current plan.

For a while now, she has been secretly crocheting a cyan blanket for him. It has bones around the sides and in the middle the words “sleepy bones.” She had just recently finished it, which was another reason why she felt now was the time to try getting him to rattle.

Her gift in her paws, she quietly walked in and over to the bed. She carefully freed his foot before slowly wrapping the blanket around him. Seeing him sleep through it, she dared to move him. Picking him up, she carried him out of the room, down the hall, and into the sitting room.

Several pillows had been placed on the floor near the fireplace, making a cushioned area to sit and lie down. She set he down on some of the pillows before moving off to the kitchen to get breakfast started.

Rolling up her sleeves, she got to work making a banquet like breakfast. Eggs, hash browns, pancakes, and a bowl of fresh fruit. She may of gone over board, but right now, she didn’t care. What they didn’t eat could be saved for tomorrow. Dishing up the food she carried it out to where she left Sans.

She was pleased with her timing; no sooner did she enter the room did she see him start to yawn and sit up. Drowsily, he looked down at the pillows under him, then around him. She watched as he looked at the blanket draped from his shoulders and then around the room. The puzzled look on his face made her chuckle and he grinned at her, “i have no idea what’s going on, is that a good thing?”

She laughed, setting the plates down by the hearth to stay warm for the time being, “Yes, for now it is.”

When she turned back to look at him, he was again looking around, puzzled, “i, uh, thought you wanted things **off** the floor…”

“Normally, yes, but I felt you might enjoy a quiet morning like this,” Toriel sat on some pillows closer to the fire place so she can grab the plates. “Are you ready for breakfast?”

“sure,” he replied, “and this is pretty nice, thank you.” He glanced at the blanket again, “is this new? i don’t remember…,” he trailed off before giving a laughed, finally reading the words.

“I made it for you,” Toriel smiled handing him his plate.

“aww, thanks tori, i love it.”

As they ate they tossed jokes to either other. At first there was still a grogginess to Sans, but as they continued he seemed to wake up more. She could see he was enjoying this morning, and she could feel herself getting excited; sensing that her goal may be closer than she originally planned. It made her thrilled to see a real smile from him that lasted longer than a few minutes. Once they were done eating she took the plates and set them to the side.

“hey tori?”

“Hm?” she looked over at him. And just like that, the figurative gray cloud that hovers over him was back.

He paused a moment before looking away, “just, uh, what’s up with all of this?”

“Do you not like it?” inwardly she was wincing, fearing she may have been trying too hard.

“no, i do…,” he paused and took the blanket off. He then moved it around to in front of himself, looking at it while appearing deep in thought. He sighed before looking at her. “just wondering why.”

“Oh…,” she considered what to say and then smiled, “Sans, you have made me very happy here. So I thought I’d repay the favor. I want you to be happy.”

He was quiet for a moment, thinking on that. Then he grinned at her, looking a little sly, “you’re trying to get me to rattle.”

“Well, ...yes,” Toriel admitted, to which Sans laughed.

“alright, if you want i’ll rattle for you now, no need for all of this,” Sans said, chuckling.

Toriel reached out and put her paws on his shoulders, “No, the deal was for you to make me bleat and I **make** you rattle. A rattle out of happiness. So, I’m still going to try, and I don’t want you going easy on me. I haven’t been letting out bleats freely, and you’ve made me bleat at least ten times.”

Sans mumbled something, looking away from Tori. She frowned, “what?”

“sixteen… sixteen times…”

She looked at him in shock, “Sixteen?!” He nodded slightly in conformation and she folded her arms. “Well, regardless, I still want you to be happy, rattle or not.”

“oh, come on tori, i am happy,” he smiled, but it wasn’t real. It wasn’t so much his face that gave it away. The smile was pretty convincing. It was his voice that let her know that the expression wasn’t real.

Reaching out she lifted the blanket off his lap and placed it around his back, leaving it hanging from his shoulders. She then gave him a serious look, “no, you’re not.”

They looked at each other in silence for moment before she patted a pillow next to her. Sans understood her hint and moved over to her, sitting beside her, and closer to the fire. “tori, you didn’t have to do this,” he said, “but thank you. and thank you for the blanket, i just wish i had something to give you.”

“But you already have, Sans,” She sighed; ready to repeat what she said before if that helps him understand, “You know I was very lonely before. You did keep me company, but that was a few hours a day… the fact that you would want to join me in exile, it made me so happy. And your company has brought me so much joy and comfort. I want you to know I deeply appreciate that. I’m sure there is much more that you could have done with your life. So, thank you for choosing to live here, with such a silly, old woman…”

“tori, come on, you’re not a silly, old woman.”

“Yes, I am,” She smiled, appreciating his kindness but accepting the truth.

To that response his expression became very serious, “no, you’re not. not unless by silly you mean ‘best comedian i know,’ and by old you mean ‘wisest person around.’ you’re a boss monster, tori. old isn’t measured in years for you like the rest of us.”

“I know, but...” she looked down at her lap, trying to think of how to best explain herself.

“but what? you’re an amazing monster?”

“Thank you for your kindness,” she sighed, ready to refute his misguided claim when he interrupted.

“it’s not kindness, tori, it’s truth. There is not another monster down here as amazing as you,” he said, “uh, well, except Papyrus, of course, but he’s on a whole different level... the point is… you’re kind, caring, considerate, smart, hilarious, and you a wonderful baker. honestly, i, uh, could go on forever, but it is just easier to say you’re amazing.”

They both sat in silence. Toriel looked down, unsure how she could have made him think so highly of herself. She was a coward who didn’t deserve such admiration. “I ran away Sans. I ran away from my kingdom and husband.”

“you stood for what you believed. and went to where you felt you could make a difference.”

“Why are you justifying what I did?”

“because, even when we were just talking through the door, you supported me. and at that time i was just some weirdo knocking on your door. while you might say it was because you were lonely, you didn’t have to listen to what was going on in my life. but you did. you remembered details of what was going on and showed you cared by trying to help.”

“I could have done more,” here she had been trying to cheer him up, and instead, he was helping her. She didn’t feel she deserved him, “the door was not sealed on my side.”

“i know, but,” He was quiet for a moment then sighed, “that wasn’t what i needed then. i needed someone who’d listen and laugh, and you did.”

She felt herself giggle lightly, “And what a laugh, I’m still a little embarrassed about that first laugh you heard.”

“don’t be,” he then smiled, a real smile, “you have a beautiful laugh.”

Sans was practically beaming at her, and Toriel could feel the warmth of her magic in her face. “Oh, thank you,” she smiled, “I’ve never had anyone tell me that uproar I make is beautiful before.”

“tori, i love you.”

Time stopped.

The two stared at each other as it dawned on both what was just said. His eye lights became two small pin pricks and she saw a hint of blue appear on his face. Toriel felt even more heat spread across her own. She wouldn’t be surprised if now her blush would be visible through her fur.

“your laugh… i meant to say your laugh…” Sans said weakly, “not that I don’t love- like… oh geez…” he muttered, the blue spreading further. He raised his hands to his face as if to hide; his expression was likely the tip of the iceberg of panic he was feeling inside. She needed to say something to help him relax. Not that she was feeling all that calm herself.

Toriel said the first thing that came to her mind, “I love you too.”

There was a pause again, as Sans stared at her. “wait… what?” his eye light returning to a more normal size.

“I… I love you too,” Toriel reaffirmed.

“...like love-love?”

She giggled and leaned down, kissing the top of his skull, “more than friends, love.”

That’s when she heard the sound. It started as a simple “click clack” noise but built into something harmonious and magnificent. Sans was rattling.  

   

* * *

 

 

    Sans looked up at the ceiling, thinking about what had happened the day before. It didn’t feel real, and yet, he knew it was. It had been like a dream. Most of the day had just floated by in undeniable bliss.

He sighed, wondering how things got to that point. Now he was finding himself questioning if this was something he had the right to have. So far, the answer has been a resounding ‘no.’ Sans couldn’t figure out how he managed to trick Tori into falling for him. And unrelenting skullache he was feeling, most likely from poor sleep, was not helping.

    What had he done to cause this? He definitely didn’t do anything to deserve having Tori’s love. She didn’t need his extra baggage in her life. Yet, he did promise to tell her all about it, eventually. The longer he put it off, the harder it was getting.

    ‘oh hey! now that we both came clean about loving each other, how about i tell you how my bro is dead. y’know, that brother i had that i told you all about? he’s dead because of a promise i made. not that i blame you, i mean, you didn’t know the kid was a psychopath. but, even if I hadn’t made the promise, he’d be dead anyway if that’s what the kid wanted. why? resets, of course. let me tell you all about how we got to see the surface, Papyrus got to be king, and how things were when nearly everyone was dead. then, if you don’t think i’m crazy yet, let me tell you about the vague memories I have of a guy that no one remembers, who might of been my dad.’

    Yea, that was a conversation he really wanted to have. Yet, maybe he should? If she thinks he’s insane she will hopefully lose interest in him. Then he could just go back to being miserable and not have to worry about dragging her down with him.

As much as he just wanted to keep being a sorry lump, a nagging feeling told him it wasn’t what Paps would want. That feeling was right. All Papyrus really wanted was for the people around him to be happy.

Sans let the brightest monster in the Underground die. He failed to protect happiness so he shouldn't be happy. But wouldn’t being happy be a better way to honor Pap?

    Frustrated with his thoughts, he laid his forearm over his eye sockets. Not that that blocked his vision. He was still able to see just fine through the gap between his radius and ulna. Seeing this, he chuckled bitterly to himself. If only he could feel as hollow as he literally is. It was pretty much how he felt before. He had an emotional callus so thick he could hardly feel anything. When resets finally ended, the fact he will never see Pap again, removed it.

    Thinking was just hurting his head more, and he rolled over, turning to face the wall. He figured he had another hour or two before he had to be up. Another hour or two before he needs to face the world outside this room. Another hour or two before he had to finally decide if he can be happy, or just continue pretending to be.

    Eyes sockets closed, he tried blocking everything out and just exist. He wasn’t sure how long he was there, in a haze of pain and garbled thought. Everything combined left him feeling more tired than he was the night before.

    Knock, knock.

    How long had it been? Sans rolled to his back and sat up, “who’s there?” he asked.

    “April”

    “April who?”

    “April has ended, May I come in?”

    He couldn’t help but chuckle at that, even if his head retaliated with a sharp shock of pain. “Of course,” he replied, rubbing his right temple slightly, hoping for some relief.

    He watched as Tori walked in and felt a pang in his soul. She was so perfect, and he was the exact opposite. Somehow, a worthless bag of bones gained her love. How? He surely had a tab somewhere to pay for that.

    “I was getting worried. I know you normally sleep late, but it is almost noon. Aren’t you hungry?” the look of worry on her face resulted in a feeling of guilt.

    “oh geez, sorry tori. i didn’t mean to make you worry. just having trouble getting up this morning. and, uh, i’m not hungry.”

    She moved with grace that was mesmerizing to watch. Everything about her was graceful, elegant, and beautiful. The simple act of walking closer to his bed, and sitting next to him, was done in a way only this ex-queen could. Tori then hugged him, and he reciprocated her with one of his own. He could feel the warmth and love from her, and had no idea how much he was craving her being near. “Are you feeling ill?”

“just tired… and a headache,” he said quietly.

“Why don’t we get you something for that,” She said as she started to stand, not easing up with the hug. Instead she just shifted him a little to make it easier for her, to stand while holding him.

This startled Sans, since being carried was not his usual mode of transportation. She must of noticed as she paused, “I’m sorry, Sans, are you alright with me carrying you?”

He thought about it a moment. While he figured most self respecting adults would not be fine with being carried, he was happy he wasn’t that kind of adult. “yeah, i’m fine.”

This was nice, but it wasn’t helping the situation. Stuff like this will only make her like him more. He needed to tell her the truth. As she carried him out of the room he said, “i’ve got to tell you something tori.”

“Well, I’m all _ears_ ,” she said while twitching her long ears slightly.

But telling her meant hurting her, and he didn’t want to do that just to spit himself. “that’s the thing,” Sans sighed, “i have no idea how to.”

They were quiet as Tori set him down on the sofa. She smiled at him, “I’ll be right back with something for your headache. When you are ready to tell me, I’ll listen.”

Sans watched her as she walked into the kitchen, noticing her short, fluffy, white tail. He had seen it a couple of times before, but she usually has it hidden under her robes. He forced himself to look away, then rubbed at his eye sockets with his right hand in a lethargic manner. The thought of telling her about Papyrus was becoming more uncomfortable. Did she really have to know?

A part of him screamed ‘yes.’ Over the years, and resets, he has hidden a lot of things from nearly everyone. What information he gave was on a need to know basis. But that was partly because of the resets and the fact he was tired of explaining the same thing over and over again. Now that those are over, that really couldn’t be an excuse anymore.

Now his hold on information, and who he dealt it out to, was just a residual attempt to maintain control of his life. He looked out the window, accepting that any feeling of control he had was just that, a feeling. False security he made up, just to help him muddle through another day.

“Sans?”

He started, looking back over at Tori, “sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” she said, handing him two pills and a glass of water.

He had a lot to apologize for. Like breaking the promise.

“thanks, tori,” he said, taking the medication and drinking down the water.

She then offered him some toast that had a light spread of butter and jam. “I know you said you weren’t hungry. But you should try to eat something.”

Sans took it and ate it, sipping at some mint tea she had made for him as well. Once he was done Tori insisted that they cuddle together until he felt better. He didn’t argue, but questioned if she would feel the same way if she knew about that timeline. Or what he did to the kid when he fought them, and they offered to spare him.

Once he was cuddled up to her, he had less negative thoughts. Something about her warmth, softness, the rise and fall of her chest, and the sound of the soul beat was comforting to him. It wasn’t long before he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the wonderful comments on the last chapter. ...Huh, I feel I am lacking my normal wittiness this time. Here, take this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xk_XaJ7gE4Q


	7. A spark of truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans finally talks!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I shouldn’t feel like I need to apologize for this, but sorry it took so long to get this one out. It was a pain to rewrite. I know the next one has some rewriting that needs to be done, but for the most part, it just needs edited. January I will be relaxing a bit, so next update should be in February.

_ “did you hear about the chloride ion?” Sans asked the lady behind the door. Tonight’s joke telling has be rather one sided. So far she has skipped each of her turns, and her laughing was lacking the usual cheer. It didn’t take much to tell she was feeling down. _

_ “No, I don’t believe I have,” her reply was soft and pleasant. She was trying to sound happy. Trying was the key word. _

_ “since meeting the sodium ion, its outlook on life hasn’t been so  _ negative _ , though the couple together can be rather  _ salty, _ if you ask me,” she laughed at his punch line. If the laugh were to be described in one word, it would be flat. _

_ Try as he might, the jokes weren’t working. He sighed before leaning back against the door. It seemed like now was a good time to end the joking and get to talking. “i think my favorite law is newton’s law of motion. ya know, the ‘an object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by another force.’ same for a body at rest staying at rest, unless forcibly awoken by a younger brother.” She laughed, still, it sounded forced. “which i suppose it a good thing. if i rest too deeply i may end up  _ depressed _. which is how you sound right now, lady.” _

_ There was silence from the other side of the door. He considered saying something to encourage a response, but instead he let her have the time she needed. Generally, when he was feeling down, he didn’t appreciate anyone trying to rush him. When she finally did respond, he could hear a slight quiver in her voice, which tore at his soul.   _

_ “I was thinking of some people I once knew.” _

_ “did you lose touch with them?” He asked, hoping for a hint on how to help. _

_ “They’re dead,” her tone was surprisingly cold. _

_ “geez, lady, i’m sorry.” _

_ “Don’t be, it wasn’t you who killed them,” she said with a bitter tone. _

_ Sans hesitated, that wasn’t a word he expected to hear, “killed?” _

_ “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be burdening you with this. I’ll have a joke ready soon, if you don’t mind going again,” she said. _

_ “no offence, but kinda hard to tell jokes with such flat laughs in response.” _

_ He heard a giggle from the other side of the door, “this coming from the guy who was telling jokes to a door?” To that he had no response and she laughed a little, “ I’m sorry my friend. Had you not done that we wouldn’t have met.” _

_ “it’s ok,” he shrugged, “so, uh, about those people you knew…” _

_ “If I talk about it, I may end up asking for something I shouldn’t,” the lady sighed. _

_ “and? besides, if you don’t talk about it, it will continue to weigh on you.” _

_ There was silence as she thought. Sans waited patiently, hoping this was a sign that she was considering telling him. Finally, when she was ready, she replied, “I was thinking about the human children I have met and grown to love. Only to see them leave and…” _

_ She didn’t need to finish that, he already knew what happened to those kids. They travel through the underground, meet and faced many monsters, and made their way to old King Fluffybuns only to die. And of course, now that he was forced to actually think about it, she met each one of those human children. After all, their journey started through the place she lives. _

_ “geez, lady, sorry i never thought about that before,” he said. He rubbed his face and sighed, wondering how in the world he could help her with that. _

_ “It’s alright. It has been a long time since a human has fallen underground. I’m sure most monsters don’t even fully know what a human looks like anymore. With luck, no more humans will fall down only to die.” _

_ Sans thought about that for a moment then looked behind himself and at the door. “even if we are just one soul away from being free?” he asked. _

_ “HA!” he almost jumped, “please, Asgore only needed one soul to pass through the barrier, and he could have waited till the child grew old and died. Humans made the barrier with their magic, they can take it down. Had he acted in a diplomatic manner, and with courage, we would be free. But, instead he hides like a coward and kills those who can hardly fight back. He has hesitated for so long, that even if he did absorb a soul, and cross over, no human would know what we are and would lash out and kill him like…” _

_ That didn’t need to be finished either. The death of Prince Asriel had hit every monster in the underground hard. It didn’t help that the adopted sibling of the royal family, Chara, died just before him. Two tragic deaths had striped what hope monster kind had for freedom away. Add in the fact that the queen had disappeared shortly after, and monster kind was at a loss. _

_ “I’m sorry,” she was crying now. _

_ “no, it’s alright, don’t apologize. what you said makes sense. all Asgore is really offering is a long, drawn out, sense of hope,” Sans closed his eye sockets. Hearing himself say that put a damper on his already bleak view. Though, it was always something he believed, said aloud made it feel true. Small things he had seen and heard caused him to wondered if Asgore would even take the last soul. Or would he let himself die so the human could cross the barrier. He had thought about that and made plans to make sure that didn’t happen. _

_ “Can I ask something of you?” the lady said, she sounded hesitant. _

_ “sure,” Sans replied, hoping for anything that might bring her some relief. _

_ “I… I know you are a sentry but… if a human ever walks through this door... will you please promise me that you will watch over them? Protect them?” _

_ Sans closed his eye sockets and sighed. What could he say? Sans was planning on cheating the system. Catch the human unaware and grab their soul before they could kill the king or mess with the timeline. He saw the data. He had no intent on risking the chance of a human ending everything. Even if his brother hated him for it. _

_ Now what?  _

_ Those potential outcomes weren't defiant. There was a chance of only a few, all, or even just one occurring. Does he make the promise and put all his efforts in getting the human to pick a good path? Or should he tell the lady he can’t and continue as planned. _

_ One way sounded easier. And he was already used to the world resetting, which the the human might do. In fact, they most likely would, considering the data. It sounded like he would need to focus on the end-of-everything path if he did make the promise. If they destroy everything then the world would be destroyed and there will be no more resets to bring it back. The human would most likely have a really high Level Of Violence by then, one that would make his magic deadlier. The more he thought about it the more he was liking this option better. _

_ Besides, she was his friend, and a fellow lover of corny jokes and puns. If the well being of some unknown human meant so much to her, then how could he turn her away. _

_ “i’ll be honest, i hate making promises. but, sure, i promise.” _

 

* * *

 

“want to go to grillby’s tonight?” Sans asked. He had woken up from the nap, and again faced with the problem of how to tell Tori about Papyrus. The only idea he could come up with was over dinner, and with someone who will make sure he doesn’t back out.

They were still cuddled together on the sofa, with her left arm around him and his skull on her shoulder. At some point she had covered him and part of herself with the blanket she had made him. As to when he wasn’t sure considering how soundly he slept. Not that it mattered, all he knew is right now he was feeling cozy, and wished it was possible for him to stay this way forever.

Toriel looked over at him. She had her reading glasses on, her right paw holding the book she was currently reading. Granted, she could make anything look good, but those glasses were just adorable on her. 

“Sans, I can’t, I’m banished,” she said as he struggled not to grin up at her like a love sick idiot.

“don’t worry about it. besides, Grillby said he’d like for you to visit sometime after close. i just have to let him know so he can prepare. plus, with my shortcuts i can get us there unseen.” He hoped that would set her mind at ease.

She was quiet, contemplating. “I am not fond of breaking rules like that. But if it is something you really want, I’ll make an exception this once. Just to Grillby’s and back,” a gentle smile appeared on her face as she leaned her head forward and nuzzled the top of his skull.

If he wasn’t blushing before he was now. Sans couldn’t help but rattle, even though he still doubted if he had the right to be happy. In an attempt to regain control of his emotions, he cleared his nonexistent throat and started to sit up. “i should, uh, go tell grillbz.”

Toriel placed her bookmark and sat up as well. She wrapped her arms around Sans in a tight hug while pulling him onto her lap. It felt warm and safe here, as if nothing bad could happen.

“I’m happy you’re feeling better, please don’t be long,” she whispered.

Anytime he has left to exchange books, or run some errands, she says that. And he does try to be quick. She seems to become anxious when he leaves the ruins. It makes sense, really. After all, she watched six children leave her safety only to die.

Which is why he hasn’t told her how things are outside of the ruins. The last thing she needs is more reason to worry when he leaves…

He goes to his room and gets dressed to go. With a deep breath he focused, staring passed the world as it visually existed and looking into the very code. He had been to Grillby’s so many times through short cuts it wasn’t hard to locate. He just stepped forward, moving from one area of code to another. The usual crowd greeted him, Drunk Bunny calling him by that nickname she made, “Come have drink with me, Sansy~”

“sorry, i seem to have lost my watch since i don’t have the  _ time _ ,” That got everyone laughing.

“You can borrow mine,” One of the locals spoke up, holding up a watch that they had carelessly allowed to get covered with bits of food and ketchup. Though he wasn’t watching them, maybe they knew his liking for the condiment and added the ketchup to entice him.

“looks pretty good, though i’m not sure you want me to use it or eat it? i’d think eating it would be very  _ time consuming _ ,” another roar of laughs around the restaurant. He laughed then walked to his favorite stool. Grillby seemed pleased to see him, “i need to talk to you, alone would be best.”

Grillby sighed, or, more accurately, moved as if he sighed, “.......now is not a good time…. But fine….” He gestured for Sans to follow him and they walked into the back of the bar and grill. It was nice back here. There were pictures of Grillby’s daughter on the wall, along with other bits and doodads from the fire elementals past, “....So….. Sans…. What is so important that you needed to drag me away from my bar….”

“grillby, i’ve got to tell her about pap, i….,” Sans rubbed his head, “you were right, i should've just told her from the start, save myself this headache and stress. But then...”

“...You’re in love…,” Grillby said plainly, “........ you didn’t want to upset her…..”

Sans sighed, “and i thought i was good at reading people.”

“…….It was obvious……….You told me how much you loved her laugh…… her jokes and personality…… Her voice….. It was only a matter a time before you fell in love with her completely……. And I’m sure that was pretty much right away…… Considering how you were when you left………. So, may I ask………. why the sudden need to tell her now?….. You’ve put it off this long…..”

“it’s… you don’t need the details, i guess,” he tried to think how how to best to explain why.

“Give me the details, Sans…”

 

* * *

 

Returning to the ruins was easier said than done. The magic barrier that Tori placed on the door makes it hard to see the code from the outside in. So normally he takes a shortcut to just on the other side of the door. Now that he has been in that room, it is a space he knows well enough to get to, even with the haze the magic barrier causes.

Sans has wondered if his ability to pass through has little to do with his own knowledge of the code on the other side, and more to do with Tori. After all, the magic barrier is made to keep others out. From what he knows of it, in theory, even he shouldn’t be able to pass through it; unless, since it is her magic, she allows him.

Once in, looking for where he wants to go is no longer like searching through fog. Free to move around, he took a shortcut to the top of the stairs. “i’m back,” he called out as loud as his voice would permit.

“I’m in the kitchen,” Tori called back.

He walked to the kitchen and looked in, “he said it was good, but he suggests we wait till after 11:30 tonight. you ok waiting that long?”

She turned and nodded, “we haven’t had lunch yet and it is getting late, so if we eat now it will work.”

There was flour on her apron, and the smell of a pie baking. The day was now starting to flow like normal. They ate lunch, set the pie to cool, before going on their walk. It was mostly in silence, and Sans was happy for that. Tori set the the topics of conversation the few times they did chat. At some point they started holding hands. He had no idea when it started, he simply noticed his hand was in hers, fingers entwined. It was a nice, reassuring feeling.

As they neared the place where the bed of flowers the humans fall on is located, she said, “this is where I found the child, did I tell you that before?”

“nope, don’t believe you have,” he said.

“They were being attacked by a some horrible flower.”

Sans felt a chill in his soul and he looked at Tori, “what?” 

Details from his nightmares and memories of what his brother had said about a talking flower filtered their way back to the top of his mind. He could hear Tori talking but only the confirmation of what he thought he heard sunk in. All the details of her story were swept away as his mind hurriedly reassembled the information that was scrambled by loads and resets.

At this point he was following Tori, and was so lost in thought he didn’t noticed they had entered the last room. That is, until he saw the bed of yellow flowers. He had seen it plenty of times before, but not like this. Each and every flower had a face, some simple or with fangs, some twisted and distorted. And that laugh. For someone who loves hearing the laughter of others, that was one he loathed.

“Sans?” Tori was kneeling in front of him, the look of concern on her face was heart-wrenching. 

He had drifted so deeply into his mind, ensnared by the living nightmare it made, that he hadn’t moved from the spot he was in when he saw the flower bed. Looking now, he saw that the flowers were as they always were. Faceless, normal, harmless, ugly yellow flowers. Feeling his eye sockets were without lights, he looked back at Tori as he lit them.

“What’s wrong?” Toriel asked.

“i, uh,” Sans shrugged, “guess i just got lost in thought right then. thinking about that flower.”

She put her paws on either side of his face, brows furrowed, “Sans, you looked scared.”

“i’m fine now, tori,” he tried again to get her to relax, she seemed ready to say more when he added, “really, tori, i’m fine. i’m just going to wait in the other room… alright?” He couldn’t help but glance at the flowers. By tomorrow he should be able to stand near them again, but right now he didn’t want to be anywhere near them.

With a resigned sigh, Toriel relented and let him go, “alright. I won’t take long.”

“no need to rush, take your time,” Sans grinned before walking back into the previous room. Once there he leaned back against the wall and thought.

 

* * *

 

It was because Sans was unsure how well he could take Toriel out of her barrier, via shortcut, that they walked out the door. He doubted it would have any effect, but wasn’t willing to run the risk. She, honestly, agreed.

It had been a while since she was on this side of the door. The last time she was here it was a tearful moment. She remembered walking up and seeing Sans standing there, asleep. It was sweet of him to wait for her here. A place that means so much to them. And the feeling of joy she felt, as he asked to join her, was so overwhelming that she couldn’t help but break down in tears. Thinking of it now even caused her eyes to water.

The bitter cold of the air bit at her snout where her fur was thin, and even stung her lungs upon inhalation. By softly flaring the magic within herself, she was able to use the warmth of it to fend off the cold. A part of her wanted to ask Sans how he could tolerate sitting out for as long as they met each night. Though she already knew the answer.

It was dark, but then the forest was always dark and had an eerie demeanor. Even though there are lights, powered by The Core, to simulate a day and night cycle, they didn’t reach this far into the forest. Yet, knowing her friend, her love, had spent countless hours here, telling her jokes, made the forest seem more like home. She didn’t need a false sun to feel at peace. 

She had nothing against the creator of those lights. That monster had only attempted to simulate the sun to provide visibility and help monsters adjust. But, to those who have lived under the warm solar rays, it was felt like a cheap knock off.

She glanced at Sans. His whole life was under that artificial light, and she remembered him talking about wanting to see the stars. Knowing that caused a pang in soul. As much as she was willing to remain underground, to avoid killing humans, it seemed wrong to deny others from the sky. But it is also wrong to kill. There had to be other solutions.

“ready?” He asked. Sans held out a hand to her. “just a short walk to grillby’s.”

“If it is as  _ chill _ of a place you say it is, then I am more than ready,” she said without hesitation as she took his offered hand. With that she started to walk with him and, sure enough, after a few steps they were in an alley.

There didn’t seem to be anyone around, but Sans was being cautious. He looked around the corner to the front of the building and sighed. Toriel heard him mutter to himself before she looked. The town was mostly quiet, save for one person standing outside of the very building they wanted to go in. It was a rabbit monster, and she was staring at the door with a befuddled look.

“ok, here is what i’m thinking,” Sans said, glancing up at Toriel, “grillbz must be in the kitchen, otherwise i’m sure he would’ve noticed bunny. there is a door around back...”

Quietly, the two made their way through the alley to the back door. Sans knocked and it wasn’t long before the door opened and a living flame was looking out at them. Toriel smiled, realizing she recognized this fire elemental.

She saw the confusion on Grillby’s face and Sans said, “heya, bunny’s around front.” Grillby’s shoulders drooped and he raised a hand to rub his head, as if he had a headache. Sans shrugged, “no worries, i got it.”

As Sans moved back into the alley, Grillby invited Toriel into the back of the restaurant. They made their way, to the front, and waited by the door that separated the elemental’s private space from the dinner. From where they stood, Toriel’s could hear some of what was being said out front.

“Sansy~! You finally come to have a drink?” There was a pause, hinting Sans was responding but his normal quiet tone didn’t carry like Bunny’s. Whatever he said she responded with, “seems to be locked.”

As the conversation outside continued, Grillby finally spoke. His own voice was quiet, even more than Sans’s, “...............Sorry about this………… Do you want something to drink?”

Since they can hear Bunny, Toriel didn’t want to risk being heard and shook her head before responding in a hushed tone, “not right now, thank you.”

“Hey, Sansy, can you tell me a joke?” Bunny said brightly, and Toriel strained to listen, wanting to hear the joke as well.

“Who’s there?”

Toriel sighed, wishing she could hear him.

“Icy who?”

Considering the response, she was sure she knew this one. He had told it to her once at the door. If it is the one she thinks it is the punchline is, “Icy you later.” A good, classic, joke; but without hearing him give it, the humor felt lost. And apparently it was lost on Bunny as she responded with, “I don’t get it.”

If there was any consolation to missing him say the joke, she could hear him laughing, though it was muffled. That sound made her smile, as it almost reminded her of listening to him through the door.

“Sansy, can you walk me home…,” Bunny continued and Toriel saw Grillby removing his glasses to palm his face properly.

The sight was rather funny to her, really, though Bunny was getting on her nerves as well. She was going to offer some words to help him relax about it when she finally heard Sans. He was close enough to the front door that he could heard. If he was feeling annoyed, Sans’s tone didn’t reflect it. Instead he spoke to Bunny with his usual, calm, and ever patient tone, “sure, let’s go.”

As their footsteps faded out, Grillby moved from the back first, double checking that he had closed his blinds, “............... again, I am sorry………………. I was running late closing up and still thought I had time to clean………………………. Had I known she was there I would of done that myself……………………..”

“It’s alright,” Toriel said, walking out and started undoing the clasp that held her cloak on, “thank you for staying open late for us.”

“........... My pleasure………… Lady Toriel,” Grillby said as he walked over and offered to take her cloak for her.

“Toriel is fine. You are one of my friends as well,” she smiled. Then, thoughtfully she added, “I should've known it was you. I just never thought you would choose to live in Snowdin. When I last saw you, you had a restaurant in Hotlands, what happened?”

“......... After Asgore declared war again……… living in Hotlands, among all the lava and fire……….. Just brought back bad memories……….” Grillby said.

Toriel sighed, “I’m sorry, I failed to get him to see sense.”

“............ it is not your fault……… besides…………. I learned I like it here………,” Grillby moved a chair for her to sit on.

“Thank you,” she smiled and sat down, “about the name, did someone give it to you?”

“.......... I gave it to myself………,” he said, “.......... I don’t intend on ever accepting names from anyone else…………”

She nodded, understanding fully that for an elemental, having a name usually means serving a summoner. The fact Grillby named himself means that he is declaring freedom. “How long have you known Sans?”

Grillby paused and looked away, “........... That……… is a hard to answer question…………..”

Toriel frowned and tilted her head, “I don’t understand, how it could be hard to answer?”

“........... I’m guessing Sans hasn’t told you much………..,”

“No, he hasn’t,” Toriel sighed, “but considering tonight, I truly think he is trying.”

“............ I am in a unique position when it comes to my patrons…………….. They come, drink, and talk………….. I try not to pry into their lives……… but when they are trouble I do what I can to help………..,” Grillby looked at her, “............ Sans is no different………… he speaks more freely when ‘tipsy,’ though, he still is hard to get information from…………..”

Something about the way he said that made Toriel frown, “You’re not suggesting I get him inebriated just to make him talk.”

“.................. I don’t believe I was………. Just stating an observation……….,” Grillby brought a bar stool over and sat down.

“And what about you,” Toriel watched him, feeling suspicious, “you never specifically got him ‘tipsy’ to get information, did you?”

“.........of course not……….”

A feeling of relief overcame her, and she smiled, “good.”

She was going to say more when Grillby say, “I made sure he was completely drunk first………..”

The wave of relief was replaced with anger and she quickly stood, slamming her paws down on the table, “How dare you do something like that!”

“.......... I respect you, Queen Toriel…………. But I have my reasons………”

“He trusts you, and that’s what you did with that trust?” She snarled, “What reason could you possibly have?”

Grillby moved his shoulders as if he was sighing, “................ As you may remember………… during the war I was responsible for information……………. I remember everything from then and earlier…………. I could recite conversations I had with my first summoner, even……………… word for word………… and yet I have forgotten something………….”

She folded her arms, “and?”

“..................... I still don’t remember what I’ve forgotten…………. But I know about  _ what _ I forgot thanks to the information I stole from Sans……………… he wasn’t about to give it…………. And he aware of what I did afterwards……………...also he would never forgive me if I got it from Papyrus…………….”

A part of Toriel was annoyed at how casually Grillby was talking about this, “And, you thought it was alright to do that?”

Grillby looked at her, “................. no………. but he unknowingly hinted he knew what I had forgotten………….. Then withheld when I asked……………….”

“If you knew it was wrong to do, then why the hell did you do it? This isn’t the war, you know you can’t be doing that!”

“............... isn’t it? ………. Undyne has revitalized the war effort………….”

“That is now,” Toriel growled.

“....... the king had declared war…..”

“Against humans, not each other!”

“............. Sans sure acts like he’s been through war .........”

A twinge of guilt ran through Toriel. Grillby was right with that assessment. There were some things, behaviors, Sans has displayed that were just like the veterans after the war. She saw them, recognize them, but didn’t put the information together because it didn’t make sense. Sans said he had been underground his whole life; he wasn’t alive during the war.

“................. I had forgotten something………………… which had tampered with my memories………………… even some about the war……………….. And important things…….. which he had an answer for……………. ”

She thought on that, understanding his reasoning. But still, Sans didn’t deserve to be treated in such a manner. “What could’ve been so important to do something like that?” She snapped.

Grillby was silent, save for a few pops and cracks of his flames, he shook his head, “..........You tell me……………. we all forgot…………………..”

Toriel glared at Grillby as she thought about that, “What do you mean, we? What did we forget?”

The fire elemental looked away, “.............. just because I stole it………….. doesn’t mean it is mine to give………………”

Elementals. They are technically monsters, and ones like Grillby are almost on par with boss monsters. But they are infuriating to work with. She was about to say more when she noticed Grillby was no longer looking at her, but past her.

“uh, am i interrupting something?” She looked back to see Sans as he started to shuffle forward, “haven’t heard grillby popping like that since the jukebox broke.”

The fire element made another cracking noise before shaking his head, “................. which was your fault…………….”

“Normally I’d try arguing that it wasn’t me, but I’m thinking now isn’t the time for that…,” Sans said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, it wasn’t me who threw it across the bar. All I did was pay for a song.”

“........................ same one, over and over again…………….. In a row……………, “ Grillby folded his arms. Despite the disapproval in his demeanor, there was a humor in his tone.

Toriel couldn’t help but snort as she tried not to laugh. And, like that, the hostility in the room had died down. She thought for a moment, then grinned, “By the way, what was that she kept calling you?”

“you heard that?” Sans asked, and she could see a slight hint of a blush on his face.

“It’s rather cute, Sansy~” She tried to mimic the near singing way Bunny had said it.

“tori, please, don’t,” Sans said. Toriel heard a gentle crackling noise from Grillby, different than the sharper sounds he made before, followed by Sans sighing, “and you’re laughing.” Sans turned his back to Toriel and Grillby then said in a dramatic manner, “goodbye dignity, our time together was nice, but fleeting.”

“Alright, alright. I won’t call you Sansy again,” Toriel said, waiting for Sans face them again, then added, “for the rest of the evening.”

Grillby shook his head, “...............I’ll get the food ready…………… make yourselves comfortable………...” He then walked into the back as Sans made his way over and sat.

“i, uh…,” Sans started while shoving his hands in his jacket pockets. Toriel noticed that he slide down in his chair a bit and was trying to avoid looking at her. As much as she would like for him to just tell her what was on his mind, she gave him time. It seemed to come natural to him to hide and keep secrets, even at his own detriment. She figured it was to keep from burdening others. 

Before Sans could try again, Grillby had already finished cooking and was back with two burgers and fries for them to share. Noticing the skeleton’s behavior, Grillby stood by him and placed a hand on his shoulder. With a sigh, Sans started again, “so… the kiddo,  they…,” Sans leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table, “they were all friendly and stuff, y’know?”

“Yes?” Toriel was confused, wondering where this was going. Sans reached into his jacket, pulling out the neatly folded red cloth she noticed the day he moved in with her.

“pap really liked them, and.... they liked my bro… he’d been so nice to them, how could they not like him?” Toriel listened as Sans spoke. There was that unmistakable sadness in his voice and tears were forming in her eye. Fearful what what she was about to hear, she put a paw to her mouth.

“he… wanted to face the human alone. i figured it would be fine. why wouldn’t it be? kid was merciful with everyone they came across. pap was most likely just going to become friends with them anyway. ...but they didn’t show him mercy…”

“That... that doesn’t sound like the child I knew,” Toriel frowned, watching Sans.

Grillby nudged Sans who finally shrugged, “i thought, maybe it was an accident, that they didn’t mean to kill him. but, uh…. they did mean to…”

“Are you sure?”

“the kid laughed,” Sans finally looking up at Toriel. She saw his eye lights were almost faded out, “the kid laughed when I asked them about it. who laughs about accidentally dusting someone? especially to their brother. tori, i’m sorry, but at that moment i so wanted to break that promise i made.”

The promise, it had been a while now and she had almost forgotten about it. The promise to keep the human child safe. And he kept it, despite the cost, “I-I am so sorry... you must hate me.”

“no! tori,” Sans said, jumping up from his seat, “i don’t hate you, i could never hate you…” Sans sat back down, head in his hands, “it is not your fault, it’s not like you knew what the kid would do. tori, i’m sorry i lied to you about papyrus.” Sans reached into his jacket and pulled out a cell phone. He touched the screen a few times before passing it over, “here, his phone has some pictures of him. at least you can see what he looked like...”

Toriel picked up the phone, looking at the happy face smiling up at her she couldn’t help but smile back. She moved from picture to picture, tearing up as she does, “you described him well. He looks a lot like how I always pictured him.” Toriel then saw some of the random pictures Papyrus had taken. There were pictures of Undyne and various places in the underground, and she was astonished really. 

Papyrus, in his kindness, seemed to see something good in everything. Because of that, even the most mundane places he some how captured in a way that showed how extraordinary it really was. And that’s when she saw one of Sans in the Waterfall Caverns, eye lights turned upward to the glowing rocks above. She could see in his eye sockets a contemplative depth. No jokester persona or weighty secrets to be seen in that moment, “He really knew you.” She said quietly, showing the picture to Grillby.

Sans look then sighed, “he has better pictures of Waterfall in there than that.”

Toriel looked up at Sans, “Sans, it is not Waterfall he was taking a picture of.”

And that was it. Any amount of openness he previously showed was changed as he closed himself off. She wondered how Papyrus had dealt with Sans tendency to avoid talking. Toriel thought, and glanced at Grillby who simply nodded. Most likely that means he came to the same conclusion as she did. Be happy with what you got, and try again another night.

“Thank you for telling me…,” Toriel thought on it a moment.

“sorry…,” Sans said, looking at the burger before him, then reached for the ketchup.

“For what?”

With the ketchup in his hand, he stared at the bottle and continued to avoid eye contact, “for not being there to keep the kid out of trouble. i didn’t to keep an eye socket on them, and I looked away when I shouldn’t have.”

“Oh Sans,” That was a heavy burden for him to be carrying that he shouldn’t have to bare. “The child made their own choice. They knew right from wrong, I saw that with my own eyes. I never would've suspected they would do that, and I would have trusted your brother to make friends with them as well. I will say I suspected something. When I talked about the child you tended to become quiet, or try to change the subject.

“And all those times I spoke of the child, or asked you about your brother, must have been hard for you. Oh, Sans, please don’t suffer in silence like that.” she saw Grillby move away, heading to the back to give them privacy.

Sans watched him then looked back the the ketchup bottle; which, he then placed on the table. Finally, Sans looked back up at her, “i just wish i understood why you care about this useless bag of bones.”

She stood and carried her chair over by Sans, who watched her nervously. Sitting down she took his hands in her own and stared him in the eye sockets. “I thought I made myself clear yesterday and this morning,” she started, then smiled and kissed him, “I care about you, alot, and I don’t want to see you in pain. When I see you are hurting, I feel hurt. Because I love you Sans.”

“i guess i just thought it was too good to be true…,” Sans said, then hugged her. 

Toriel hugged him back and took the chance to kiss him again, this time with more meaning behind it than her usual kisses. When she looked at him after that, the look on his face was very amusing. It was an odd mix if giddy, happy and even fear of this new and unknown experience. 

Even with how he looked, his voice managed to hold even as he said, “i love you, tori…,” they hugged again and she heard him add quietly, “for longer than i think i even know...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now the real fun begins~! There will still be sappy fluff, but things that are being ignored are about to step forward, … I am so happy this chapter is done. I like it but it was a pain.


	8. Watch Your Step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The author kept adding stuff.... it's now really long...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE! Take it! If I look at it again I will just end up adding more to it.

_ He was crazy for doing this. She won't be there, why would she? It is late, and she is most likely in bed, sleeping, like a normal person. And yet… And yet he felt he needed to try. He had to try. No, that’s not right, he didn’t need to. He just wanted to.  _

_ Sans paced in the snow in front of the door, “i should just go back home and not bother her.” He then stopped and looked at the oversized double doors. Why were they that big anyway? He heard some monsters used to be a lot larger in the past, before being trapped underground. But he never figured any of them grew that large. Were they meant to impress someone? And in that case, who? _

_ With a sigh, he turned ready to head back home. Coming here was a dumb idea. No sooner did he take three slow steps away did he turn around and walk back. He knocked on the door, “knock knock?” He asked, though it came out sounding more like a plea. How desperate could he sound. Sans sighed, “never mind, it's stupid. you’re sleeping like you should be; like i should be. heh, but you see that’s the thing, i can’t. not tonight. i tried and failed because the dream i had when i… well, it was bad.” _

_ A bitter chuckle surprised him, and he noticed it was coming from him, “here i am, talking to a door. i’m such an idiot to even consider doing this. and yea, i know, you asked me not to talk bad about myself but the fact is i am.” _

_ “No your not,” Came a soft reply from the other side, which startled him and he stumbled back. _

_ “lady? ah geez, please tell me i didn’t wake you,” Sans rubbed his head, feeling bad now that he finally heard her voice. _

_ “You didn’t, my sweet friend. I was upstairs reading when I thought I heard something and came to check. And I’m glad I did. What’s wrong?” _

_ “uh,” he paused, unsure if he wanted to say now that she was here. It felt pathetic coming to someone because of a bad dream. Everyone gets nightmares. Though he gets a lot of them, and they are getting worse. The frightening thing about them is he knows that they aren’t really nightmares, they are more than that. But still, he didn’t want to burden her.  _

_ His foot shuffled in the snow as he thought of what to say. She was giving him time, clearly, as she has yet to say something about how long he was taking to reply. His body trembled a little before he shrugged, “it’s nothing, really, just not sleeping well.” _

_ ‘Sans, you idiot. You come to her for support and then back down. Why the are you even here?’ he berated himself while sighing and rubbing his head. _

_ “Oh, well, we can talk until you are ready to try sleeping again.” _

_ “uh, thing is,” when will he be ready to sleep again? Sans shifted nervously, “i’m not sure how long that will be.” He cursed under his breath and leaned his head against the door with a soft click, “i’m sorry, i shouldn’t be bothering you with this. i’m sure you’ll be ready to go to bed soon yourself. i don’t want to keep you up.” _

_ “A-actually…,” She said quietly. Her voice was heavy, sadness weighing down the usual happy tone he loved to hear. Within his ribcage he felt his soul ache as he desired nothing more than to hug her. _

_ “what’s wrong?” He placed his hands on the door, as if trying to get as close to her as possible. _

_ She was silent for a moment then she sighed, the heavy sadness still there “I am being haunted by bad memories tonight and I won't be getting any sleep.” _

_ That was something he could relate with, and he closed his eyes. When he spoke his voice was strained by a lump in his throat, “want to talk about it?” _

_ “If you don’t mind listening,” She said softly. _

_ “of course i don’t,” Sans was able to say with more ease than before. _

_ From behind the door he could hear the lady move and he heard a tapping, “Could you sit around here?” She was quiet while he moved to where she had tapped. Before he started to sit she said, “I know we can’t really, but, it would be nice to think we are sitting side by side.” _

_ After situating themselves, and making sure they were facing the same direction Sans wondered for a moment then asked, “when you lean on the door, where does your head come to?” _

_ “Right here,” She replied tapping on the door. He looked up, hearing the sound above him and he grinned weakly. _

_ His skull clunked against the door and he tapped where it was, “i’m here.” Why did he have to be so short? “anyway, if you’re ready, i’m all ears,” that was a good pun, shame she won’t get it since they were keeping who and what they are a secret. _

_ “I was thinking of one of the human children that passed through here many years ago. Her name was Shaniqua. She was the sweetest and most patient child one could ask for. A beautiful girl with her dark skin and eyes that glowed with compassion.” She then sniffled before sighing, “To think, someone hurt her, abused her, before she fell down here because she was different than them. They thought her less than them and treated her as such… she had scars...” She sobbed, her voice full of anguish. Regaining control, she then said with bitterness, “when she walked through these doors I hoped with all my heart  _ **_he_ ** _ would show compassion for her. But he didn’t, he never does.  _ **_He_ ** _ killed her.” _

_ Sans didn’t know what to say, what could he say? It’s okay? How could it be okay? It is never okay to hurt a child like that. And this was the first time he was actually putting any real thought into the killing of the humans. It was just the way things were. They needed the human souls to get out of here. Not once had he, or any other monster for that matter, bothered to think about who the humans were, what their lives were like, or even why they fell down here. _

_ Patience, the cyan soul. Memories of when he used to work at the Lab started to filter back. He didn’t remember why, but the soul was in a glass jar that he was monitoring. Every detail of that memory was fuzzy at best. But still, it made him shiver with guilt as he looked at the door, “i-i’m sorry…” _

_ “It’s not your fault,” She said quietly, “I’m just happy to have someone to finally talk to about it. But, now I’d rather talk about something else… why were you up again?” _

_ Sans paused. He remembered saying he wasn’t sleeping well, and he doubted she just forgot that. Was she fishing for details? Did she know he lied and is seeing if he’d say something different or if he would tell the truth this time? After what she just said, what was his nightmare in comparison. True, it was bad, Papyrus was killed in front of him. He fought over and over again until finally feeling himself die. But they are back now. Alive and well.  _

_ Actually, his bro was well. Sans, though, felt jumpy. This was the first dream he ever remembers feeling death. Whatever was messing with the timelines has figured out how to win against him. That knowledge terrified him, chilling his soul more than the snow ever could. _

_ “Dishes?” she asked.Normally she called him ‘friend,’ but she used the nickname for him based on the first joke he told her. She generally only uses it when upset or very concerned; and, judging by the sound of her voice, he’d guess the latter. _

_ He couldn’t burden her with things that no longer happened, not after what she has been through, “just, not sleeping well. which is odd, ya know, since i’m usually so good at it i can do it with my  _ eyes closed _.” _

_ She was quiet for a moment before saying in a stern tone, “I don’t believe you. There is a slight difference in you voice when you try to pass something off as nothing. That and you try to distract with a pun or joke. What is really wrong?” _

_ How did she get so good at reading him? Rubbing the back of his neck and thought quietly, then sighed, “i don’t want to bother you with it, just was hoping for some company.” _

_ “Please, bother me,” She replied quickly. _

_ “it’s… it’s nothing.” _

_ “Well, if it truly is nothing then you should have no problem telling me.” _

_ This woman was very stubborn. With a sigh he finally said, “i had a nightmare. i have nightmares fairly often, really, but this one got to me.” _

_ “I’m so sorry to hear that. What happened in it?” He could hear her concern. _

_ “don’t worry about it,” he sighed, leaning his head back against the door. _

_ Silence falls between them before she speaks up, “I am your friend, right?” _

_ “of course, you’re my best friend, really,” Sans replied in earnest, lifting his head off the door and looking at it. _

_ “Then please, as a friend, tell me what you dreamed.” _

_ Lowering his head he felt a little shame before finally speaking. He goes over all he remembered. Coming to the door to find it open and dust. Looking for the dog patrol and not finding them. Finally, locating his brother. He recounts how he arrives just in time to see his dear, little brother battered and in pain before he dies to some assailant he can’t remember. He remembers fighting over and over and over again. He shivers and hugs himself as he tells her about how he felt his body just fade away to dust. _

_ “What a horrible dream, no wonder you couldn’t sleep. My dear friend, that was definitely not nothing, and I’m happy you finally told me about it,” She said after listening to him, “I wish this door wasn’t between us so I could hug you.” _

_ “y’know, I thought the same thing when you were talking earlier,” he suddenly got an idea. “hey, close your eyes.” _

_ “Okay, now what?” She asked, sounding intrigued by what he had in mind. _

_ “alright, now imagine me sitting in front of you. add a foot or two of height if you want, i won't mind,” He grinned, listening to her giggle a little at that. _

_ “No, I think I’ll go with your actual height the best I can. And my, are you handsome,” she said in an almost singing way. _

_ “uh, heh, think your imaging my brother, he’s the handsome one,” his face felt warm and he was happy for once there was a door between them. “but, moving on, image me extending my hands and taking yours in mine, then holding them.” _

_ “I hope you're imaging the same. And thank you, I feel so much better doing that,” she said. Her voice had a small sense of happiness returning. _

_ Smiling he said, “i am, and same here.” _

 

* * *

 

Things had been nice since telling Tori about Papyrus. It had an affect on their relationship. Not the way his darker side had hoped for, but he was enjoying what he got instead. It was clear that Tori was happy Sans had opened up to her, and he could tell she was waiting patiently for him to say more. That will be difficult, but he knew he had to, he did promise. Even if it ruins all of this, a promise is a promise.

Sans looked over at his hand, warmly engulfed in Tori’s paw, his phalanges peeking through as their fingers are entwined. Noticing his thumb was free, he moved it along her hand to feel the softness of her fur. Even though he had felt it before, it still was new to him, and almost addicting.

Feeling watched, he glanced up at her and noticed she was looking down at him. A wave of embarrassment washed over him, and he felt his magic creep into his face as he looked away. Instead, he looked down at the path they were walking on, the same path they took every day. As he did, he felt her squeeze his hand in an affirming manner.

He was as trapped emotionally in this relationship as his hand is trapped by her’s. Even the aspects of his life that were free desired to be a part of her’s. As much as the dark part of him wanted to sabotage this, he couldn’t. No matter how much he just wanted to run away and give up, he couldn't.

It still was baffling that she would spend time on him. What did he really have to offer her? Companionship? According to her that was enough, but it didn’t feel fair. From what he could tell, he just happened to be the lucky one. The one who happened to have a sentry station so close to the door. Who decided to go looking for cameras, found a door then decided to practice knock knock jokes.

He should of tested that luck at a casino.

One thing did bother him about her. For all the worrying about his sleep habits and tendency to hide his emotional garbage, she sure seems willing to overlook her own troubles. He wanted her to talk about it, but she never provides a chance. It didn't take him long to notice that she stays up late, is easy to wake, and up early. He sometimes wonders how much sleep she gets. Even when he is trying to be as quiet as possible after a nightmare, most of the time he can hear her moving around in her own room.

Considering their past talks, he wouldn't be surprised if this problem had anything to do with the children. Which, other than the last child, she has not mentioned since he met her in person. There was no way that burden just disappear the moment they met.

Most likely, she is hiding it. The only reason he could guess was that she doesn't want him worrying; which, made him feel like he was extra baggage. She didn’t need or deserve having someone around who is just more trouble than they are worth. And from his angle, he was definitely not worth much. But perhaps he could raise that value if he could help her.

Thing is, she is more ‘motherly’ than he could ever be; thus, she finds a way to get people to talk about their issues. Meanwhile, Sans generally didn't like people prying into his business; so, he never stuck his nonexistent nose into other people's lives. But that doesn’t mean he doesn't care or won't notice a problem. What he had done with Alphys is hint at it nonchalantly in private conversation. But he mostly waits. When they want to talk, they will talk.

But Tori seemed different.

 

For a moment, he paused his thoughts. They had arrived at the room where the humans fall, the room with the flowers. He had overestimated himself. He could stand in the room with the flowers, but he no interest in being near them. Halfway through the room he started to pull his hand free, but Tori didn't let go.

No… no no no!

Sans continued to walk with her, but he wanted to stop. He didn't want to be near them or look at them any closer than needed. He outwardly acted calm, but inwardly he was trying not to panic. Again, he tried taking his hand back, this time with more effort; and, thankfully, she surrendered it.

No sooner was it free did he stick it in its jacket pocket. As much as he wanted to leave the room, he forced himself to stay. To take his mind off of what that one flower did, he watched Tori while considering the nature of astrophysics, primarily focusing on the formulas for the movement of galaxies.

As he worked through the numbers, he started to relax. It also created a new perspective of how insignificant those little weeds are compared to the vastness of the universe, and especially the all-but-confirmed multiverse.

Once she was done tending the flowers and ready to go, they started walking side by side again. Her hand was there, open and welcoming his, but he hesitated. She must have noticed, she glanced down at him with a concerned look. It wouldn't be a lie if he said he felt a little betrayed when she didn't let go when he first tried to free his hand. Yet, as he already knew, he was in love with her. So he removed his hand from his pocket and placed it in her’s. Again, her soft fingers enclosing his metacarpals and phalanges in her warm, safe hold.

Now his mind tried to remember where he was in thought before. After a quick review he remembered.

 

Tori more than seems different, she is different.

By wrapping herself up in other people's problems, she ignores her own. In fact, she may use them as an excuse to downplay her own. A sort of “I don’t have it as bad as so-and-so; therefore, I shouldn’t complain.” When in truth, she's had it far worse, and is only letting it fester to focus more about helping someone else instead.

And, boy, does he know about letting emotional crap fester. Of course, it does help when you have built up a callus. He had a really thick emotional callus before Tori started working on it. Not that it still isn't thick, but some things that didn't faze him before now do.

Perhaps, that is what happened with her. After all, she had been here, alone, for very long time before now. Isolation is not easy on the soul or mind. She may have kept herself busy, but she was deprived of real contact unto a human fell. Then she would take them in, care for them, watch them leave, and hear of their death. Over and over again.

How powerless she must of felt; a feeling he knew well.

“hey, tori,” Sans finally said.

“Hmmm?”

He rethought the possible wording, but then figured he should just go with it, “ya know if you ever need to talk, i’m, heh,  _ all ears _ .”

To that she giggled, “I do believe between us, I've got more ear that you.”

He chuckled, “that's true, tori, but still. you do know, you're free to talk, vent, or whatever, right? that i’m here for you?”

For a while she just stared down at him. Then she smiled softly, “thank you, Sans, but I’m fine.”

“i expect to see me credited in the bibliography or i’m considering that plagiarism.”

Well, that got a reaction out of her, just not the one he wanted. She looked shocked, and even a little angry. Really not what he expected, but he can work with it. He looked ahead while giving her paw a reassuring squeeze. He doubted it had anywhere near the same effect compared to when she does that to him, but it was worth a try. With her full attention, he tried again, “i’m no more blind to your distress as you are to mine. and just like you wanna help me, i wanna help you. just wanted to make sure you know, that if you ever need or want to talk i’m here for you.”

“Sans, you don't-”

“‘need to burden yourself with my problems?’ or something to that extent, right? If so, i’m again considering it plagiarism.”

She stopped walking and so did he. It was difficult looking up at her, as she was clearly annoyed. Still, he wasn’t going to shy away. He wanted her to know how important this was to him.

“I have been thinking that and saying it far longer than you have been alive,” she said sharply, “you should be citing me.”

“so, then you do need to talk,” Sans said, and hoped that cornering her doesn’t backfire.

The look she shot him was one he’d have hoped to never see. There was no doubt, she was mad. Her grip on his hand tightened and loosened as she decided between letting it go or hanging on. When her hand started to move away, he held on.

“Sans, you have enough to deal with,” Tori said, as she continued trying to pull her hand away.

“your point,” he said, keeping a firm grip.

She sighed, “let go and think about this. I’m not the one with nightmares keeping me up half the night.”

“true,” he said, tightening his hold a little, “but how did you know that unless you were already awake? kinda hard to dream if you don’t sleep.”

“I sleep!” She snapped. “Not everyone needs to sleep as much as you.”

“papyrus didn't sleep much either, but he also seemed to be hyperactive. why don’t you need the daily recommended 8 hours of sleep?”

“Sans, stop,” she said, again trying to pull her paw free.

“NO,” he kept his hold, “it is not alright for you to ignore your pain to focus solely on mine.”

“What bothers me I can live with, I have lived with. And it doesn't disrupt my daily living,” she huffed.

“except for your sleep and other things,” he looked up at her, “you can’t tell me you don't get anxious when i leave for errands.”

“Of course I do,” she threw her free hand in the air, “it is hard not to worry when you had a panic attack at the-”

She may have cut herself off, but he knew what she was going to say. Sans felt his eye lights go out and he looked at the ground. A part of him was ready to give up on the argument, dropping his point as well as his hold on her hand. His grip started to loosen as he chuckled dryly.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn't have said that,” Tori sounded apologetic but also a little exasperated.

“no worries,” he put on a smile, “it is true, after all. and you're right, i hadn’t considered how hard it would be not to worry about some, heh, ‘one’ who lost it at the sight of flowers.” ‘Probably because that idiot is me,’ he added to himself.

“No, it was wrong of me to say that,” Tori said, sounding softer in tone.

This was a reminder of why giving up is so easy. When he does try he fails or messes up in some way or form. Before though, a reset was around the corner to clean up his mistakes. Now, he had to live with them. Sans looked at his hold on Tori’s paw. “i just,” he sighed. Is it really so hard to do more for someone? “i’m sorry.”

“There is nothing for you to be sorry about,” she said.

And yet there was a lot for him to be sorry about. Failing at nearly everything he did, upsetting her, his unorganized self, and let's not forget about breaking the promise. Thing about that last one, if he was in that situation now he’d do it again. Hard to say you’re sorry if you would just repeat it.

He let his grip slip, to take his hand back and let her go. As his hand moved from her paw, he felt her try to hold on. Even though she tried to keep his hand in her paw, she just wasn't fast enough. Which is good, she doesn’t need him clinging to her. The words ‘smiley trash bag’ echoed in his head. He knew where he heard them from, and that the source should not be trusted. Yet, he currently felt it couldn’t be truer.

Tori placed a paw on each of his shoulders, as if trying to make sure he stays still. In fact, he wouldn't of been surprised if that was purpose. Then, once again she said, “I am sorry, I never should have said, let alone think, that.”

“it’s alright, to-” 

Before he could finish, Tori startled him by throwing her paws up. “That is it!” She then lowered her left paw to her hip while the right covered her eyes, rubbing them tiredly, “I know you hate making promises, but I propose that neither of us use the words ‘fine’ and ‘alright’ to describe ourselves, or a situation, to each other ever again.”

“what?”

“If you want me to be more honest about how I am feeling, you need to as well. And we can start by banning ‘fine’ and ‘alright’ since we both hide behind those words. This is a two way promise, so we both have to agree to it. And I agree to keep it.”

Well, it seemed fair, and it would mean that she would potentially talk to him about her own emotional scars. But it would also mean he would have to share more. After all, it really wouldn't be honoring the purpose of the promise if he just started using words like ‘ok’ and ‘well’ instead. She was already willing to make it, and he still can’t really say ‘no’ to her.

“sure,” he replied.

Calmness spread across Toriel's face, and she let out a breath that Sans didn't notice she was holding. “Alright,” she then closed her eyes, appearing to gather herself. 

When she opened them, she looked him in the eye sockets. Judging by how he felt, he didn't have much in the way of eye lights. Most likely just two dim spots for her to look at.

She placed her right paw on his shoulder, while wearing a concerned expression. “Now, earlier, you said you were sorry. I still feel you have nothing to apologize for; but, it was wrong of me to overlook your apology. After all, if you felt you have wronged me, and wish to make amends, I should acknowledge that. So I forgive you.”

Annoyed at the burning sensation of tears gathering in his eye sockets, he struggled to keep his sorry self together. Even worse, he was sure the lights dimmed to nothing as Tori went from a concerned to a disheartened expression.

Here he was, making everything worse, just by standing here. In an attempt to salvage this he said, “same, about your apology. i, uh, shouldn’t've tried brushing’ it off. so, i forgive you, too.” While inwardly he amended that he deserved it, and it was just a wake up call to remind him of how things are.

That turned out being the right choice as a smile, though small, appeared on her face. “Sans, remember when you asked me this morning if I was feeling okay? And I said I was alright?” He nodded in response, then she continued, “I lied, I’m exhausted. Physically and mentally.”

Unsure of what else to do he just shrugged,  “same.”

Toriel offered him her paw, “how about we head back, relax, have an early dinner, and night.”

Pulling a hand free of the jacket pocket, he took the offered paw. “sounds good, tori,” 

It slowly started to sink in that he actually succeeded. That, in a very roundabout way, the end goal he wanted was achieved. She was going to talk more about her own pain. 

And, while he still felt like garbage, he just no longer felt normal garbage. Oddly, it was as if he somehow became a step above the normal refuse. Like recycling that hadn't been recycled yet.

Well, at least that was a new way to look at himself. 

 

* * *

 

Hours later and Sans is in bed, rubbing his tired eye sockets. At this point they were so worn that lighting them was starting to hurt. How many times did he fight the kid that he was still seeing images of that hallway on random nights?

If only the memories returning were more consistent he would of been done with that series of loops. Though he was sure that ending would still haunt him. How could it not? He won't easily forget the feeling of fighting over and over and over, putting everything into each attack, bending the code to break the rules to make things harder, only to be cut down by something lurking within the kid.

Sans quietly slipped out of bed and over to the dresser. He didn't really use it except for a few of his favorite socks from his collection and to store the notebooks. It also was where Geode, the rock, sat. But that is on top of the dresser, so he wasn't sure if that really counted as using it versus just being a convenient spot for a pet rock to sit. While his tired mind would have been happy debating this to himself, if it meant staying awake, that wasn't the reason he got up. He grabbed both notebooks and climbed back in bed.

Noticing he didn't have anything to write with, he quickly glanced around. On the night stand was the small notebook he uses to record current events. Next to it is a pen that will suffice.

First he wrote what the flower, or first anomaly did, which wasn't that bad compared to other times. With a yawn he ripped it out and slipped it in near the beginning. It seemed to be about then, before the flower became more brash, cruel, and violent. Looking at the page, he sleepily chuckled, over half of it was in skeletal alphabet, “hands.” In the morning, when he is more awake, he’ll try being precise with “when” it occurred.

In the second he simply wrote “more loops with the kid in the hall”. He paused for a moment, thinking before adding “X5, did not see end this time. did not see trick.”

With a sigh, he opted out in putting them back, figuring he should try to go to sleep. For now he slid them both into the pillowcase on the underside of the pillow he primarily used. Settling back, he closed his eyes and tried drift off to sleep.

 

_ He stood in a hall, bathed in golden light that is broken up with shadows. Across from him stood a small figure, holding a knife, and wearing an expressionless face... _

 

Nope. Sans’s eyes sockets flew open and he took a few deep, calming breaths. Sitting up, he slowly let out a long sigh.

Welp, sleep was out of the question. In this worn out state of mind, this seemed funny to him. Him, lazy Sans who could fall asleep anywhere, can’t sleep a full night in a bed. He covered his mouth after a couple of sleep deprived, hysterical laughs escaped. If he hadn't somehow woken Tori before, he did now.

He got out of bed and took a shortcut, so when his metatarsals hit the floor, it was in the kitchen. Flipping on the light he thought quick.

With how tired he most likely looked, Tori would flip if she caught him trying to make coffee again. Glancing at the tea cupboard, he wondered if she had any black tea, or any others that typically had a high caffeine content. He could try passing it off as an herbal tea if Tori asks.

Now for the annoying part. He started climbing up on the countertop, since he was too short to reach otherwise. When he nearly fell backwards he struggled to hold back the hysterical laughter again, letting out an odd sounding chuckle instead.

Unsure of how much longer he had before Tori will come, if she does, he started to search quickly. Thankfully most of her teas were the easy to use, already in a bag, kind. They were all in tins, some labeled on the outside of what the contents were, others had a label inside.

As he took out the last tin and looked in it, he sighed. All she had were herbal teas, all naturally caffeine free. Holding the tin, he considered just going with one and hoping for the best. But he  **really** did not want to go to sleep.

That’s when he saw light glinting off something in the back of the cupboard. Looking in, he saw it was a bottle of wine. There were actually four bottles just sitting there. His index finger tapped on the tin. Right now, he would love to be numb to how he was feeling. But, he knew there was no way he could hide that from Tori. Still, it was tempting.

He was so transfixed by the bottles that he didn't know Tori had arrived at the kitchen until she said, “making tea?”

Startled, and feeling like he just got caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar, he nearly fell from the counter again. After catching himself, he turned to face her, “geez, tori, i think i just jumped  _ outta my skin _ .” He laughed at his own joke far more than it deserved.

She laughed too, but there was a look on her face. One of her “I know something is up” looks to be exact. In response to it he eased back on his laughter and tried to calm down.

“but, uh, yeah. was thinking of making…,” he forgot what was in it, “this one.” Well, that was anything but convincing.

“Sure you weren't thinking of something stronger?” She said while walking closer.

“uh, well…,” his finger tapped the tin again. Normally he would've said something like, ‘naw, this is fine’ but he promised that away. “i, uh, did think about it.”

“And?” She reach into the cupboard, shifting the teas. “Do you want any?”

Was she really offering him alcohol? Was this a test? Maybe it was just her current mood. If he asked nicely, maybe she would let him have coffee? Honestly, between the two, he’d prefer have the latter and not sleep for the rest of the night. Though he doubted she would.

“well, actually, if i had a choice, i’d rather have some coffee,” it didn't hurt to try, he figured.

“Sans, it is the middle of the night,” she said as she pulled out a bottle.

That made him snort as he struggled not to start laughing, “so alcohol is a-ok but coffee is out of the question.”

“Yes,” she said while playfully sticking out her tongue.

He looked at the wine bottle then sighed. Sure, being numb to all this would be nice; but, drunk Sans doesn't know how to shut up most of the time. And currently, he wants to maintain control over what he says. 

“i’ll stick with, uh, whatever this one was.” Opening the tin again, he looked in at the piece of box, which she must of torn off to label the tea bags. “camomile…”

With a shake of her head and a small giggle, she teased, “don't sound too excited about it.” She got out her tea pot and a wine glass. She then filled the pot, lit the stove with her magic, and place the pot to heat up.

“sorry if i woke you,” Sans said, watching her as she popped the wine cork with a claw.

“You didn't, I was awake,” she sighed.

“wanna talk?” He offered.

“Do you want to talk about why you are up?”

He winced slight, “not particularly.”

“Then you have your answer.”

Awkward silence fell between them until the kettle whistled. She grabbed a mug for him and he place a tea bag. While she poured the water he put the tin back. He was about to hop down when she gave him the mug.

With the skills that only a mother has, or someone who has worked years in a field with similar requirements, she put the wine bottle under one arm, grabbed her glass in the same hand, and grabbed him off the counter in the other arm. What made this a feat was the speed she performed this and the fact she looked like she could easily carry more.

Needless to say, he was impressed. Though, truthfully, the feeling was a bit stronger than that. Actually, “a bit” doesn't really explain how he felt. Let's just leave it at: he feigned interest in smelling the tea to use the mug as an excuse to hide his face.

Tori carried him over to the sofa and set her glass and bottle down. She started to pick up a book when she glanced down at him. He could have sworn he felt his soul quiver the moment her eyes met his sockets. “Want anything to read?”

“i’m…,” he paused before saying ‘fine.’ He really was just fine, but he didn't want to say ‘i’m fine, really.’ He was more than fine, actually, but he didn't know how to express that. So he started again, “i’m not in the mood to read.”

The look she gave him was understanding, and she picked up her book before sitting with her back to the where the back and arm of the sofa meet. Doing this allowed her to sit at an angle that gave her the ability to lean comfortably into the sofa cushions, while it also allowed her easy access to her glass and bottle. But that position also created a gap between her and the back of the sofa. A gap he was now trapped in, not that he was trying or even wanted to escape.

Sans sipped at his tea, taking this feeling in. This wasn't the first time he has found himself stuck between the sofa and Tori; but, unlike then, he wasn't waking up and worrying that staying meant he was taking advantage. She placed him here, she wanted him here. Why? He’d never know. 

He felt his magic trying to build up within him, which caused a small shiver and rattle. In response, Tori put an arm around him in a half hug. 

From her he felt something. He has felt her magic before, but the more expressive part of it always felt hidden. Much like himself, she has locked that part of her magic away. But it seemed like some of it was seeping through. There was a feeling that seemed foreign, and it was causing his soul to feel weird. 

Or was it the other way around. Thinking back, he was feeling this way when she picked him up and carried him out here. He wasn't feeling anything from her then. So…

It was him, she was responding to him and not the other way around.

This realization caused a wave of panic. How much of his emotions was coming through, and for how long? And now, was she feeling his worry? He tried pulling back, to hide his emotions like normal. 

Soft, tender, and slightly prickly hairs tickle the back of his skull as she nuzzled him. “Just relax,” her voice whispers.

Looking back at her, into her rich burgundy eyes, he felt his soul and magic stir again. There was a look of safety and peace in her gaze. And he felt the wall, that acted as a damn to keep his emotions in, melt more.

Love enveloped him in return, and he leaned into her. Slowly, they were both opening up more to each other. And he was starting to understand that was leading to their love deepen.

He could feel her weariness matching his own. While it is possible to explore this magic deeper, both were content with this embrace. With her physical and magical warmth, and the feeling of the hot tea, turned to raw magical energy, within him, he started to feel drowsy…

 

_ The hall is filled in a golden glow. According to the old timers, it is meant to simulate the sunset on the surface. When he was young he marveled at it, he felt at awe at the beauty. Many years later, after letting his views became jaded, he can't help but wonder if it is accurate. _

_ Really, there is no reason to care if it is or not. He lost interest in going to the surface a long time ago. Instead of reminding themselves of what they don't have, shouldn't they be happy with what they do have? _

_ Not that he didn't long to see the stars and feel the sun, but what's the point if the kid resets. And they will reset, in fact, monster kind might have already seen the surface only to have it stripped away. All memories of the night sky robbed from him… from Papyrus. And for what? Changes in dialog? _

_ Sans was leaning against a pillar, which blocked the bright light coming in through the window. Each column created sharp contrasting shadow, which seemed eerie. While he was using one to wait in, he couldn't shake the feeling someone else was here, hiding in the shadows with him. But when he looked, no one was there. _

_ His paranoia was cut short as the sound of footsteps interrupted his thoughts. How many times has it been now? He finally lost count at 30 even though he stopped trying to count after 11; but, that was a long time ago. And the painful truth is that they haven't even happened. _

_ Paradoxes: fun to theorize, hell to live through. _

_ Stepping out in front of the kid with a shortcut, he was surprised. Out of all the times he had seen the kid they never looked like that. The look they gave him chilled his bones. But the human was ready to fight, he had to say something.  _

_ Heh.  _

_ And there was the joke. His life, his existence, was nothing but a game to this anomaly. They already won. What was the point now other than entertainment? _

_ He failed. The fight hadn't even happened yet, and he knew he lost. He will fail again as he desperately struggles to stay alive, to force the kid to reset. What tricks did he use? What order was his attacks? No matter, he became predictable. The kid knew his tricks, his attacks. _

_ There was only one thing left to do. He had accepted the fact he had no control of his life for the longest time. Resets destroy what you make. Anomalies kill what you love. Memories of what you did disappear. But a part of him held onto a thread of hope that perhaps he could do something. That he could keep the anomaly from destroying everything. _

_ “... that expression that you're wearing… ...well, i won't grace it with a description.” _

_ He was such a good comedian that he didn't notice, till now, that he played the biggest prank on himself. Hoping. _

 

Sitting up, Sans put a hand to his chest. He felt his shirt was wet and sticking to his ribs. Looking down, he saw red on his chest and hand. Red…

“heh,” he uttered before trying to move from wherever he is currently located. He wasn't sure when or where he was. Currently, his vision was unfocused and blurry because his magic refused to cooperate. Which, considering magic is an expression of oneself, meant he was a mental and emotional disaster. Well, more so than usual. 

Something stopped him, wrapping around him. He hadn't expected that and his mind raced, trying to decide if this was friend of foe. There was only one he could think of that has ever bothered him as he slowly dusted.

The flower. 

Why couldn't that weed just let him be? He struggled against it, fighting to free himself from its vines. His magic felt like a tangled mess as he tried to summon up a wave of bones to defend himself with. The magic is so unstable he couldn't even summon one bone, let alone a wave.

Luckily, he was able to wiggle free, but hit the ground as the flower must have lifted him. Sans started to curl up, waiting to dust when the flower started to grab him again.

“just let me die in peace,” he said the best he could. Magic is how he speaks, and pretty much do anything including moving. As long as he was a mental and emotional wreck, any use of magic is an internal fight. 

Unable to clearly see, he had no idea where he was. Which meant, even if he could get his magic working long enough, trying to use a shortcut was out of the question.

This time the flower wasn't trying to lift him, as it put some weight on him as if holding him in place. He could barely move, and where his bones touch the floor was starting to hurt.

Floor, not ground, this feel like wood flooring. Grillby’s perhaps?

He felt something petting his skull, offering comfort. It was not unlike the flower to do that, offer false compassion before doing something cruel. But that was done soulless, without the feeling behind it. A cold act that indicated that thing were about to go from bad to worse.

In comparison, this sensation he felt was truly comforting. Each stroke, from the frontal to occipital bones, offered warmth and peace. He closed his eye sockets, wanting to ground himself to that feeling.

Eventually words started to filter through as his fears died down. The voice was soft, sweet, but carried a hint of uncertainty, “it's alright, Sans. You’re safe here. You’re,” there was a pause and the voice sounded on the verge of tears, “You’re not dying.”

He open his left eye to look, knowing that voice. Tori. How could his idiotic mind confuse this glorious woman for that horrible weed? 

She was pretty much laying on him in her attempt to hold him still. Embarrassed it came to that, he started to speak, to apologize. As the words started to form a wave of nausea traveled through him. Any attempt to speak now would not have good results.

When he struggled against her, the magic he tried and failed to use must have tangled into unusable knots. It has happened before, and generally the rest of his magic can break it down to be safely radiated off like body heat. In those cases he suffers mild nausea for a few hours, and then everything goes back to normal. This, though, felt like an excessive amount of wasted magic that needed out.

He closed his eye socket, cutting back on any unnecessary magic use. If only he could get control of this feeling long enough to get to a trash can, sink, outside, or something.

“Are you alright?” He heard her ask, and he dared to shake his head in response.

That action caused some of the wasted magic to start traveling up. He fought to keep if down as he was scooped off the floor. Even with his sockets closed, and vision cut off, the world whizzed past him, adding to his sick feeling. By the time he could no longer hold it back, he was at what felt like a trash can.

He couldn't remember the last time he had ever opened his mouth, or if he ever did. Marking this a special occasion, his teeth parted to allow the wasted magic out. Once done, he sat back, trembling from a mix of exhaustion, embarrassment, and displeasure at the new sensation, that didn't feel new. 

There is not one memory in his head of throwing up; and yet, he knew and recognized all of that. Which means the memories must be tied to his past, the part he can't fully remember. 

He could hear Tori was talking but it took a moment for the words to make sense.

Wine? On him?

He glanced down with his left eye, waiting for the magic to focus enough. Red on his chest. He closed his eye socket again, bad memories of events that had, yet never had, happened poking at him from the back of his mind. But it is wine, not… that. She said she drifted off while holding her glass and accidently got wine on him.

Once that was sorted out he noticed she was still apologizing. Right now he didn't feel like trying to speak. If she knew ‘hands’ he would reassure her that way. Instead he just offered her a thumbs up before leaning against the trash can.

He was fine there, but Tori must not have felt the same. Her movements were slow, as if trying to avoid anymore upsets. Lifting him from the floor, she moved him to a kitchen chair. One of her paws settled on his head for a moment, before she pushed the chair closer to the table. She tied up the garbage bag and replaced it with another. Not wanting her to have to clean up after himself, he started to turn to get up.

“Don't you dare move from that chair. You feel warmer than normal and should rest,” she said in a tone that could be taken as harsh. 

He could hear the softer, caring aspect within. All the time he knew her by voice alone was helpful now that he couldn't see her; or, more accurately, can't see her clearly. What he mostly saw was a tall, white and yellow-green (from her snail pajamas), unfocused blob moving around a blurry space; which, he recognized as the kitchen strictly by the fact that he is sitting at the kitchen table.

Still, there she was, the beautiful blob that she was, cleaning up after him yet again. Nothing could convince him he was worth all this trouble. Tori was clearly getting a raw deal.

With a sigh, he let his vision darken and closed his eye sockets.

 

* * *

 

Toriel took out the garbage, leaving Sans leaning on the table with his head resting on his arms. There was a spooky stillness about him now that he is not mimicking the movements of breathing. She figured he was so tired that even that act, which he performs in his sleep, is too much.

On the way back, she stopped at her bathroom to grab some things to clean him up. What happened was something she could not have possibly predicted. And now that it had, she felt guilty. It was her carelessness that seemed to have triggered the reaction.

Thinking back, she remembered a feelings right before he woke her up by moving. Before that moment they were still sharing a magical embrace. Through that bond came feelings that were so painful. Worthlessness, emptiness, fear… and a hopeless acceptance. 

She had started to wake from them, when she felt him move. And by then, the damage was done. Toriel had learned something about him through observation that, she doubted, he would have willingly gave. He didn't behave as if any of those feelings were new. While she may have felt them before herself, it was never so strongly. Even the night she heard him knocking on the door, during one of her darkest moments, she didn't feel like that. And while she was waking up due to those emotions, inadvertently, she sent him spiraling deeper into those dark thoughts. 

Then there was what he said. That plea to be left alone while he dies haunted the back of her mind. It sounded like he had said it before. He was behaving so calmly, despite the fighting against her, it was easy to believe he had done this all before. What she witnessed felt like some morbid routine.

Grillby’s assessment of Sans’s behaviour, as if he had been through a war, was right. Even she had nights like that after the last war. But over time, and with the help of others, she healed. But Sans was born underground, so what possibly could be the cause of this?

Sighing, she turned to his room to get him a clean shirt. After looking around she found he only had three shirts, one of which he was currently wearing. 

Toriel’s hand first moved to palm her face, as she should have suspected this; but, she ending up holding back a sob. From what she could tell, he didn't bring much at all with him. And what he did bring was hardly worth him, yet she was sure he didn't see it that way.

It hurt knowing he didn't see his own self worth. To know he was willing to just die alone. And how was she going to help him when she was also so hurt. Since their walk, she thought about what he had said. He was right in saying that she needed help. 

In quiet contemplation, she wiped the tears from her eyes and face. Though some may say it is not the business of the injured to heal others, she remembers healing from her own emotional wounds before. It was fellow veterans, who knew and understood what she went through, that helped her more than anyone else. 

Toriel was now hurt by the loss of her children, all nine. Years of self isolation didn't help anymore than the loss of her ex. These were different than what Sans is going through, but that didn't matter to her. They can heal together.

Already, since that promise, Sans has been opening up more. That was progress. Everything had to be done slowly with him, in his own time. Same thing with her. So, they will walk the healing path together, leaning on each other as they go.

She stepped out of the room and moved to her own. Looking through her shirts, she found a clean one that he could use. Tomorrow, they can get him some more clothes.

One last time she stopped at the bathroom and quickly washed and dried her face. Looking in the mirror she saw herself, her face far younger than the light behind her eyes. The things these eyes have seen. Tales her tongue could tell.

She has lost so many in her time, family, friends, loved ones all the same. There was no way she was going to sit by and watch another disappear. Not again.

Walking back she found Sans where she left him. She thought he was asleep until his left socket opened slightly. His smile widened briefly in an attempt to welcome her back.

“I brought your toothbrush, so you can clean out your mouth, among other things,” Toriel said, and watched him sit up, slowly.

She offered him some water but he ignored it, putting some paste on the brush and opening his mouth for the second time since arriving. It wasn't until he was done scrubbing did he grab the glass she gave him and got up. She watched, admittedly curious, as he tilted his head over the sink to rinse out his mouth; using the stool she provided for comfort and ease.

And now that made sense. His mandible isn't closed at the bottom, plus he doesn't have lips. Unless it is magical in nature or converted to magic, it would just flow out one way or another. 

Before he could walk back she met him at the sink. “May I set you on the counter?” She asked as she started to fill a basin with water, which she warmed with her magic.

“i can climb up if you want… but, uh, why?” He sounded so tired.

“I want to help you clean up,” she offered with a smile.

He shrugged slightly, “i got it, tori.”

“Please, Sans?” A part of her felt bad asking, as she has not yet heard him turn her down.

Sans just nodded and started to climb up. As much as she wanted to help him, it seemed like he needed some independence right now. He was half way up when he ended up looking at his left hand and paused. As if frozen by the sight he stopped his climb onto the counter.

With a quick glance, she noticed it was also stained with wine and moved to assist him. When he was up on the counter she pulled him into a hug, then took the left hand into a free paw. Hidden from his sight, she felt her dear friend and love relax.

Starting with the offending hand, she took a washcloth over it to rinse it before applying soap. The soap was one she bought for him, figuring it would be good for his body type. Gently scrubbing his hand, she marveled at all the tiny spaces dirt could hide.

“tori…,” Sans started as she rinsed off his hand.

Checking his palm over she smiled seeing the stain was gone. She grabbed a towel to dry his hand. Releasing it, she watched as he looked at it, then back at her, “tori, you don't need to do that.”

“I know,” she smiled, “but I figured  _ wash _ ’s the harm?” He chuckled at the pun, and Toriel noticed him relax a little. She placed a hand by the side of his face and ran her thumb under his eye socket. The socket closed and his head leaned into her hand, “besides, you look as tired as I feel, if not more. And I  _ soap _ pose I want to do this, because I love you that much.”

She then washed the other hand, before changing washcloths and water and washing his face. Toriel smiled as he closed his eye sockets, clearly enjoying the feeling of the warm cloth around his tired eyes. Seeing how much it put him at ease she took her time, and giggled softly when she noticed he was starting to drift off.

“Sans, we should change your shirt before you fall asleep again,” she said while giving him a friendly nuzzle on his nasal bone. He snorts a little, trying not to laugh and she can’t help but smile.

“ok,” he says, and starts to take the shirt off. She helps to make sure the wine stain doesn’t touch where she just cleaned. Though it seemed dry enough to not get on anything else, she wanted to make sure. Especially considering his reaction.

She set the shirt to the side and looked at him, wondering how much got through the shirt. Sans was looking at his sternum and ribs also. He was handling it better, even though his eyes were dark again, at least his behavior was normal. It was interesting watching his ribcage expand and retract, as if sighing. Air whistled out past his teeth, and he looked up at her.

“I’m sorry,” Toriel still felt bad about her carelessness. How could she have done that to him.

“no worries, tori, i forgave you a while back,” he replied.

How he could stand dealing with her silliness and overbearing behaviors, she will never know. It could not be easy dealing with her tendencies to act like she is still queen of the underground. And then she will do something like this, showing an ineptitude that only she seemed capable of achieving.

“tori?” Sans was looking at her, seeming confused.

“I’m al… I…,” She wasn’t sure what to say.

There was a snort from Sans as he grinned, “not easy, is it. s’okay, take your time.” She wrinkled her snout as she tried not to laugh, happy he was taking a light tone about her almost slip up. “while you figure out what you want to say, can i have a shirt or something. i feel like you can  _ see right through _ me like this.”

With that Toriel laughed, putting a paw to her head, “oh Sans, I would of thought you would be too  _ bone tired _ to be telling puns.”

The laugh he made in response was tired, but strong. It made her feel good that he was already doing better, but they both needed sleep. So she settled down and smiled sweetly at him. This kind skeleton, what was she to do with him.

She held up a shirt that had a bear on it and said “hi _ bear _ nating” and he chuckled, then rubbed the back of his neck. “i don’t know tori, that looks, uh, a little big. i can just grab one from my room,” he suggested.

“Nonsense, all your shirts need to be washed,” she said, though her tone was friendly, he still glanced away. She didn’t want to upset him, “but I think this will work well. What about your sternum and ribs?”

Sans glanced down again and shrugged, “i’ll take a bath tomorrow.”

“Alright, then arms up,” she said as she helped him get the shirt on. It fit him like a straight dress, luckily, it was a short sleeve so it doesn’t completely hide his arms.

Looking down at himself, Sans chuckled, “this should be  _ bear _ able.”

“Oh, enough, we need to sleep,” she said before kissing him quickly.

Two hands cup each side of her face, keeping her head close. His teeth touched her snout softly but there was magic behind it. She could feel warmth, love, passion, and the magic that made him. A feeling as though there was no need to rush, that this moment was to be enjoyed slowly. It was addicting and she wanted to be completely surrounded by this sweet tenderness. There was another form of magic that was strong in him, that took her a moment to recognize. It was objective, precise, and fair. She never knew justice was a strong trait for him.

There was only one thing she could think of doing; and, she kissed him back with the strong affection she had for him. His hands moved through her fur, ruffling it in a way that now edged on sensual. In response her own hands started to explore what she can of him with the over sized shirt on.

As Toriel moved her hands over his ribs to under his arms, he started to snicker. This caused her to look at Sans as he squirmed a little, “sorry, that tickled.”

She felt her nose wrinkle again as she struggled not to laugh, “I don’t know about you,” she finally said, “but I’m ready to sleep.”

“heh, definitely,” he smiled up at her and she helped him down. 

They walked together, hand in hand, down the hall. Toriel held tight to Sans’s hand as they reached her room, “Sans, please, stay with me tonight.”

He paused for a moment then looked up at her and nodded. They walked into her room together and climbed into bed. It was comforting to hold onto him, doing so reassured her he was still there. Toriel felt Sans bury his face into her neck fur, and she noticed her ear fell over the side of his head. As they embraced physically, she felt the magic made hug begin again.

And for first time in a long time, she slept, really slept. Not that light sleep that still leaves her feeling tired in the morning, but a real true sleep.

 

* * *

 

Written in one of the notebooks, below the simple notes about the dream from the night before, was written “the brat killed me and came back to kill me again.”

 

* * *

 

A few days had past, or he believed it was a few days. He was sleeping better now that he was sleeping in Tori’s warm arms, but that didn’t keep the memories from messing with his perception of time. Not that it really mattered anymore to him. After all, there was no longer a count down to reset, or count to see how many days before the next reset, depending on the quality of the ending.

It is a grim thought that there are timelines that leave the Sans wanting a reset. As far as his understanding, time ends when the reset occurs for that line, and that Sans becomes part of his consciousness; but, in a way, it was just him. A him that is not him. Living his life that he will not live. Making his decisions that he never gets to make.

Realizing he lost his place in the book, he yawned and tried yet again. Sans was cozy on the sofa, resting on his back with his head on Tori’s legs. She was absentmindedly petting his skull while they were reading. The feeling of her soft paw against his head was causing him to doze off, and to read the same line at least five times now. Even though he had read it multiple time it still didn't make sense, his foggy head read different words that weren’t even on the page each time. 

Giving up, he closed the book and rolled to his side before curling up closer to her, prepared to snooze. That is when he felt Toriel run two fingers down his spine to the middle of his back. He straightened back out, enjoying the massage of his vertebrae, “tori…”

“Yes, dear?” Tori replied. Her voice as soft and pleasant as usual. His mind swimming in the sweet, smoothness in her tone.

“did i tell you ‘i love you’ today?”

“You have, and you know it,” She chuckled and lightly tickled his ribs, making him laugh. He tried to defend them since he wasn’t fond of being tickled; yet, was enjoying this moment too much to really make her stop, “I love you too, Sansy~.”

Well that just ruined the mood. Grabbing Tori’s hand, he holds it up and away from himself as he rolls to his back to look up at her, “ok, that needs to stop.”

“What does?” Tori asked, looking back down at him.

“i’m not fond of that nickname,” he couldn’t help but think of Bunny whenever he heard it. And he didn’t want to think of that constant flirt when he was with Tori.

“Is that so?” Tori took her hand back and tapped lightly between his eye sockets, “Well, I’m really not fond of the messes you make.” She had him there. He had become laxed on how well he kept his disordered self in check. 

He shrugged, closing his right eye as he did, admitting defeat in that argument, “welp, ya got a point there, t.”

“T?” She gave him a puzzled look.

“yeah, a new nickname i thought of for you,” He grinned, thinking this might just work.

“Sans, T is a letter, not a nickname.” She was frowning slightly.

“mmmm,” he looked away as if in deep thought before looking back at her, “naw, it can be both.”

“Please don’t call me T.”

“i don’t know,” He shrugged and winked again as he looked up at her, “keep calling me ‘sansy’ and i may just keep calling you ‘t.’”

He watched as Tori struggled not to laugh, her face scrunching up in the most adorable way, “Fine then, Sansy~.”

“ok, t.”

How long has life been like this now? Happy. There was still that nagging feeling of guilt for feeling this way without his brother. Yet, he knew Papyrus wouldn’t want him feeling bad, Tori reminded him of that. Papyrus like finding the good in everything and everyone. 

Keeping his right eye closed he continued to look up at Tori. He still didn't deserve her in his life. But his bro would be glad to see him this happy.

Right now, his biggest problem was with the memories of other timelines coming back. They messing with his understanding of what had occurred during this one. To make matters worse, he was sure Tori was starting to notice. She has been giving him this concerned look when he forgets something or brings up events in stories he thought he already told her. 

It wasn’t all bad, since some of the memories are pleasant; but those he didn’t remember much of. And, to top it off, the details were fuzzy at best; leaving him with the notion that at one point things were ‘alright.’ And while the bad ones have gotten worse, a nagging feeling told him there were more to come. It made him nervous about what he will see.

Overall, the most annoying part was how the present becomes slurred together. He was losing track of how many days it had been since he moved into the ruins with Tori. How many weeks it had been since he confessed to Tori. Had it even been a week? He was certain it had been more than a week, so month? Two months?

However long it has been, he has had enough time to see a difference in the anomalies. Reading over the events in the “dream” notebooks, it became pretty clear that the kid was pretty straight forward with the way they killed. They didn’t toy around with people like a cat does with a mouse, unlike the first anomaly.

While he still has nightmares, they don't seem as bad waking up in Tori’s arms. Last thing he wanted her to know was how often he woke up at night. But it seemed to help her sleep having him there. Before she was such a light sleeper, he was sure he would be keeping her up half the night. Now, when he wakes from the mild ones she hardly stirs. And the bad ones, she comforts him back to sleep when before he couldn't.

Tori closed her book and grabbed Sans up in a hug, so tightly it caused him to grunt, “As much as I would like to stay here all day, we have things to do.” He made a disappointed groan to let her know his feelings on the matter, “None of that. There are library books to go back and there is a list I made of things they don’t sell in the store here, that I am hoping you can pick up.”

“ok,” Sans said with a yawn. He got up, slipped on his slippers while grabbing his jacket from off the sofa. Tori had neatly stacked the books to go back for him, which he picked up and carried into the kitchen with himself to get the list, “this shouldn’t take me too long. Might stop by grillby’s and say ‘hi’ while I’m there.”

“That’s fine,” Tori replied from the other room.

 

* * *

 

“Oh, and Sans?” Toriel said as she walked into the kitchen. She sighed when she found Sans had already left with one of his shortcuts, “What am I to do with you.” She turned and walked down the hall, grabbing a laundry basket on the way. 

Today she had been planning on cleaning and changing both hers and Sans’s bedsheets. She was going to ask Sans to gather his sheets for her before he left, but it was too late now. So, she will just do it herself. First she stripped her bed, taking the sheets and putting them in the basket. 

As she worked, there was a nagging feeling. Something in her mind was telling her she should have also told him to stay safe. Though, she shook it off, informing herself that wasn't necessary. 

She then walked to the room Sans still used, even though he slept in hers.

Perhaps it was a good thing that they didn’t share rooms yet. She looked around with a sigh. It could be worse, at least there was some form of organization to the madness. Still, she wouldn’t tolerated her own room being like this. For now, she will start with the bed, and ignored the rest.

This was something they needed to work on together. She did, after all, give him this space; and she wanted him to feel like it is his, even when he fully moves in with her. By having his own area, she hoped he’d consider the house his home. She wasn't fully convinced he does yet.

Even though he was no longer sleeping amid this mess, did not sit well with her. And she will need to convey that to him without taking over his room. The best way to start, she figured, was clean sheets for the bed he no longer uses. If he ever needs a night alone for any reason, it will be ready.

Picking up a pillow she took off the pillowcase and two note books fell out, one landing on the bed, the other bouncing off and landing on the floor. The writing on the cover of the notebook on the bed was unlike any she had seen before. 

No, she had seen it before. She had no idea how to read it, but she was sure she had seen it before. But no matter how much she thought about it, she had no idea where.

Memories that wanted to resurface tickled the back of her mind like an itch she couldn't reach. It was like something was holding them back and fragmenting others. The feeling was almost unbearable, as she felt whatever these memories were were important.

Bending over to pick up the one on the floor, she saw that some of the papers had been torn out and slipped back in. In the fall a few spread out around the floor. As she picked everything up she looked over the words.

Reading it didn't feel right; yet, she couldn't look away. It didn't completely make sense, and it didn't help that he occasionally switched from letters she knew to the odd symbols mid sentence.

She sat on his bed, trying to understand what she was reading. The best she could figure is these were his nightmares, and what she understood ranged from sad to terrible.

Curious, she opened the other notebook. At first she thought it might be a journal, as it recounted the events leading up to their life together. She considered getting him an actual journal when she quickly flipped through and saw this was not that different than the other note book.

There were entries about one or more people in his life dying. They were killed by an “anomaly”?

She thought for a moment and flipped to the entry of what was going on in their life. To Toriel's surprise the word “anomaly” was used there as well. The word seems to be used to address the human child.

It would be easier to make sense of all of this if he hadn't kept switching to the symbols and used code words. In the end, she figured these had to be his nightmares. Though a nagging feeling told her they weren't just dreams, at least to him. After all, that first entry had current events.

Remembering her conversation with Grillby, and how angry she got with the fire elemental, she started to feel guilty. As she idly flipped through, no longer paying attention to what was written, she considered writing Grillby an apology letter. That's when she saw something different than the other entries.

“more loops with the kid in the hallX5, did not see end this time. did not see trick.”

Then below that, written hastily.

“the brat killed me and came back to kill me again.”

Seeing those sent a shiver down her spine. This was something Toriel hoped Sans would want to discuss with her. If it meant what she thought it did… well, she wasn’t sure what it meant.

Closing the note books she set them on the dresser, placing them in the open so he knows she saw. By doing this, she hopes he will come to her to talk and not the other way around.

Turning back to the bed she finished stripping the sheets off and took them out to wash. After hanging them to dry she gathered clothing, washed and hung them to dry. All the while, that nagging feeling that she should have told him to stay safe gnawed at the back of her mind.

Toriel walked back inside, expecting to see Sans, but he wasn’t there. This was the longest he had been away. “Well, I’m sure he just lost track of time talking to friends,” she consoled herself as she tried to think of something else to do. 

Walking into the kitchen, she noticed she was ringing her paws and forced herself to lower them. She then started to bake a pie, cinnamon butterscotch since the child was on her mind. Once it was in the oven to bake she started dusting in the sitting and dining room. 

This was definitely too long. “No, no Toriel, you’re being silly. Sans is an adult. He can take all the time he wants.” A grown up who is clearly frail. “He can handle himself.” Who generally moves around quickly with his mysterious shortcuts, so he usually doesn’t take long. “Honestly, he falls asleep anywhere and time, plus he seemed tired before leaving. So he might have passed out mid tasks.”

The feeling of something being wrong haunted her as she took the pie out to cool. Again the thought came back, she should of told him to stay safe. “No, stop, you're being silly. What good would that have done.” While she gathered the clean laundry, and made the beds, her mind tried to convince her that he would of been more alert had she told him to stay safe.

Should she go on her walk? Toriel hadn't noticed she was biting her lip until the feeling of warm magic trickling down her chin caught her attention. Deciding to go, she wrote a note for Sans to let him know. 

Of all the walks she has taken, this was definitely the fastest. All she really wanted to do was get back home and see Sans there. She didn’t spend long at the flowers, knowing they won't wilt if she skims over taking care of them for one day.

On the way back she hears gossip from monsters she passes. How news gets through her barrier, she will never know. As far as she knows it should be impossible considering her magic. Yet, that is how she learned of each child's death. And now, she learns of a commotion in Snowdin. Her soul sank and the icy grip of fear chilled it upon hearing this news in passing. Her body started to shiver as she tried to figure out if she should wait, run to Snowdin, or something else.

When she turned to ask for more details, the monsters fleed. It is no wonder, really. She asserted herself long ago, and made it clear she was to be left alone. Since then, all the monsters give her as much space as possible and avoid her the best they can.

Her stomach twisted in knots as she hurried home. “Sans?” She calls out, but received no reply. 

Worried, Toriel grabbed her old cell phone and called Sans’s. Both rarely use them as they only really have each other to call. But Sans did say before that he would do his best to make sure it was charged and on when he was out on errands. But it just rang before going to voicemail. That didn’t put her mind at ease at all and she started to pace trying to figure out what she should do.

Feeling the need to do something, she walked downstairs and stood in front of the door. A nervous shiver crawled through her. Something was wrong, and she knew it. Yet if she leaves she could cause a lot of trouble if she is caught. But Sans should have been back a long time ago. If she was careful she could travel to Grillby’s unseen. She sure hoped that he had simply lost track of time talking with the elemental.

Before she could open the door, there was a knock…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nice view from this cliff, huh?


	9. Don't be so koi~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PLOT HAPPENS!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to be honest here. It still amazes me each time someone says they like this story. Growing up, I always had stories in my head, but I was a horrible writer. Even though I tried to write, I never could really put a sentence together. So, the pure notion that I can write something that people can understand AND enjoy floors me. ...In other words, thanks…

_“Sounds to me your brother has a good friend in her,” Toriel said after listening to another story about Papyrus and his rambunctious companion, Undyne._

_“that’s true,” her friend, on the other side of the door, said with a laugh, “you’d think the two were siblings the way they behave. though, i’d bet she feels lucky they aren’t.”_

_Toriel tilted her head, “Why do you say that?”_

_“heh, well, i’d be her brother as well,” there was a humor to his voice, as if it were a punchline to a joke; one that she didn’t like._

_“My dear friend,” she frowned, “I’m sure she’d be happy to have you as a sibling.”_

_There was a laugh, “naw, lady, i already disappoint her enough as a sentry. last thing she needs is me disappointing her as a brother.” He then said in a calmer tone, “besides, she’s my bro’s best friend, no need for me to go_ budding _into their relationship.”_

_That made Toriel giggle and she decided to drop it. “What about you?” Toriel asked, then added, “you've mentioned having buddies at Grillby’s before. What about best friends?”_

_“that’d be you,” he answered without hesitation._

_That wasn't a reply she was expecting. When he mentioned the people he knew in town, through work, and various other means, she figured he’d have a lot of friends, and several best friends. “Oh,” she didn't know what to say._

_“well,” he started back peddling, “i have friends, i guess, just, uh, you’re really it for best friends…” he trailed off._

_“That’s alright,” she said, “I don’t have any friends on this side of the door.”_

_There was silence from him, and she pressed her head against the door, listening. Inadvertently, she just that confessed her life of isolation while trying to comfort him. Her magic twisted in knots of fear, worried about what her friend might think._

_“But, it is alright, I have my books and daily chores to keep me occupied,” she paused when she noticed her voice sounded strained. With effort, she forced the lump in her throat down. This was no time to be getting choked up, she had to stay focused. With a calmer tone she finished, “and you, also.”_

_How weak did that sound? Clearly, he would think the only reason she asked for him to come back was because she felt so, painfully, lonely. Truth be told, she had no tolerance for monsters she didn’t like, lonely or not; and, she genuinely liked this pun pal. He wasn't just a diversion from isolation, but an important person in her life._

_A deep chuckle filtered in through the door, “well, even with everyone around i feel lonely. not everyone appreciates our brand of humor, y’know? so, uh, if you want, i can try carving out some more time to come visit you from my ‘oh so busy schedule.’”_

_Closing her eyes, she felt warm tears weave their way through her fur. She appreciated that he didn't make this about her, yet, felt guilty that he had the need to spare her feelings. After how she acted to all the other monsters around her, she didn't deserve a friend like him. A friend who would stomp down his own self pride for the sake of hers. Granted, she wasn’t happy with how often he did talk ill of himself. “You don’t need to do that. If I really wanted to end this isolation, I could leave the ruins,” she heard her voice shake, and knew he would too._

_There was another pause for him, and she heard him shift in the snow, “mind if i ask why you haven’t?”_

_This was bound to come up, and she had to answer him. But she didn’t want to tell him the whole truth of the matter. At least, she wasn’t ready to tell him. She didn’t really want to tell anyone. Previously, she was happy with the idea of fading into obscurity. But now she had someone, other than Asgore, who would miss her._

_With the thought of Asgore, she knew she still wanted to stay hidden from her ex. She’d skip over the details and just tell friend what he wanted to know in the vaguest way she can. Besides, it is not like he has not done the same to her._

_With her mind made, she says flatly, “I made a decision a while ago, and I am sticking to it. I will not let myself be swayed.”_

_“fair enough,” he said, and she was happy he didn’t ask any more from her on this. Instead he moved on in the conversation, “anyway, lady, even if we just sit here, saying nothing to each other, that would be more enjoyable than being around people i don't really know. i will, though, say that some days i will be hanging out with a science pal of mine.”_

_“Oh?” She thought that over while wiping the tears from her fur. “I figured you had to have an interest in some fields of science from some of your jokes and puns.”_

_“heh, yup, though, i, uh, never really pursued it… just have a small hobby lab, nothing interesting.”_

_Generally, when they chat, he is more interested in talking about his brother. What rare gems of facts he gives about himself she stored away in her memory. She can use this information for future jokes or conversation. Excited, she decided to see if she could get him to share anything else. “What do you work on in your lab?”_

_He was silent again. Toriel should have known, he didn't like talking about himself, at least not in a positive manner. It was rude of her to press for more information. After all, he didn’t push her to speak when he knew she wouldn’t want to. Why could she not show him the same courtesy? Had she forgotten her manners, or even how to be around others?_

_She was about to apologize and change the subject when he said with a sigh, “just some science fiction crap that doesn't work.”_

_“I’m sorry to hear that,” she then added, “I commend your efforts. It can’t be easy to try such things.”_

_He offered up one of his empty chuckles, the ones that just sound wrong to her. “No worries, lady, not sure I want it to work anyway. But, uh, thanks...”_

 

* * *

 

 

“sup, grillbz,” Sans said. After he picked up some groceries he took a shortcut into the bar and grill. Errands done, he took the chance to make the stop, deciding to stay an hour.

The owner looked up and nodded at him in acknowledgment. On such a blank face, emotions are hard to read, but the bartender seemed pleased to see the skeleton. Sans made his way to the counter, then set down the couple of bags he was carrying beside his usual stool. With well-practiced ease, he climbed up on the stool and relaxed, soaking in the atmosphere of this place. It was nowhere near as nice as Tori’s, but still, he missed it. The orange and brown colors, the background noise, the general warmth, and the smell of greasy goodness were all so nostalgic to him.

“.........Hello Sans……… what can I get you?…….” popped Grillby.

“heh, right to the point, huh?” Sans chuckled then nodded, “fries, thanks for asking.”

The fire elemental walked to the door, that lead to the kitchen, and disappeared for a brief time before returning with food in hand. He gave Sans the freshly prepared fries and a bottle of ketchup. After applying a liberal amount of ketchup to the fries Sans, tipped his head back and downed the rest. Without even asking for another, Grillby placed another bottle before taking the emptied one.

“thanks,” Sans said. He grabbed a ketchup ladened fry and started to eat, “tori’s cooking is good, but I do miss the grease.”

“.........I’ll make sure _not_ to tell her that…….” Grillby said with a crackling chuckle, “.........anyway, I am well……… You?.........”

“doing good, actually,” Sans looked down, grabbing another fry, “life in the ruins is nice, enjoyable. it’s, well, quiet, peaceful. i’ve been able to just… relax, which i like. perhaps a bit too much, but it feels different than what i’m used to, for even this town. not much goes on, so at times i find myself curious about what’s going on in the world. i’m used to hearing about everything going on down here from the sentry stations and hotdog stand.”

Grillby picked up a glass to shine, even though it already looked clean. Sans just figured it was because the elemental felt the need to do something when working. Fire is a very active element; and even though Grillby is very ‘chill,’ he does seem fidgety at times of stillness. As he polished the glass he nodded, understandingly.

“grillby, something up,” Sans looked at the elemental. Flames are hard to read, especially one as steady as the bartender. Still, that never deterred Sans from trying, and, occasionally, catching some subtle, but telling, body language. It took practice, timelines of practice to pick up what he has learned about Grillby.

“for example, you used to open first thing in the morning and stay open until late,” for a second, Grillby paused in his polishing. For anyone else, that would be easy to overlook. For Grillby, though, that meant Sans was on the right track.

Sans picked up another fry, watching a glob of ketchup fall from it and onto the other fries below. “it’s also pretty quiet in here, compared to normal for this time of day,” Sans said, then ate the fry. He didn’t bother looking at Grillby this time. The bartenders continued silence was all he needed.

Grillby set down a glass with a soft click as it touched the other clean glasses. “....................Undyne, ........................ is training everyone for war, if you must know…………….”

“everyone?” Sans looked up, then grinned, “even jerry?”

Sparks drifted from Grillby as he made a sizzling like sound, his version of an exasperated sigh, “.................. yes………….”

That thought alone caused Sans to snicker, “well, good luck with that. i’m sure nothing will strike more fear in the hearts of humans than an army of woshuas.”

Grillby crackled softly as he picked up another glass, “.................... changing subjects, I’m guessing things have progressed with Toriel……………….. New clothes……… and she clearly has influenced you……………”

That made Sans pause, and he looked at Grillby, “what makes you say that?”

“................ I’ve never seen you be so careful when eating…………….”

With that said, Sans’s attention was to how he had been eating. Sans noticed that he had been holding a fry while watching and waiting for a glob of ketchup to fall. In the past, he wouldn’t have waited. Without a care, he would eat and let the globs fall wherever they were on the way to his mouth. When there was a good chance a reset could happen, why worry about something like stains? There would be a 50% chance that they never even happened, anyway.

Now, he was wearing a new, unstained, shirt Toriel bought him. And there weren’t any resets to fix any mistakes, any stains are there 100% of the time. Also, even if he knew she wouldn’t say anything if he got it dirty, there would be that look of disappointment on Toriel’s face. It wasn’t a look he liked.

“huh, guess i’m trainable,” Sans shrugged.

“........ I believe the term traditional used is…….. whipped……..,” the elemental said, with the smugness that he used when he teased patrons he knew well.

Startled, Sans looked at Grillby who was now crackling away in laughter. “ah, come on, grillby!” That just made Grillby laugh harder, so Sans shook his head. With a resigned sigh, he said, “i’d say that was _cold hearted_ , but right now i’m more worried about getting some ice for that _burn_.”

“......... watch it, I’ve got more………” Fire and ice puns get under Grillby’s nonexistent skin, which makes them a painless way to distract the elemental.

“same here, friend,” Sans grinned, as if he accepted the challenge, “besides, you started it.”

At that Grillby shook his head, surrendering before the onslaught of puns could begin. Sans shrugged and opted out of rubbing Grillby’s nonexistent nose in this minor victory. The two fell silent, Sans enjoying his fries while Grillby continued working.

A soft jingle from the bell over the door hinted someone else had arrived. Sans heard footsteps, and thought nothing of it, other than making sure he was set so Grillby to attend to the new customers. But it was the sound of an angry crackle from Grillby that caught his attention. Looking at the barkeep, Sans wondered what was upsetting the elemental.

“grillbz?” Sans started to turn left to see what was going on. A hand grabbed his right arm, under the wrist, the owner of it just out of his view. The person who grabbed him jerked hard, forcing him to turn right while he was pulled off his stool. Wincing, Sans’s shoulder protested this kind of treatment with a wave of pain, “h-hey!”

Thoroughly confused about what was going on, he looked up to see Undyne staring down at him. Shocked, he was about to speak before Undyne lifted him up by his arm. Pain traveled down the limb and into his shoulder, causing a small wave a panic to cloud his thoughts. He only had one HP and someone was threatening him; he couldn’t run or take a shortcut with the way he was held. To say that this was far from an ideal situation would be an understatement. This was more akin to the nightmares that plagued him of moments before he died. Right eye closed as he clinched his teeth tight, trying, and failing, to calm his nerves.

Desperate to find some relief, he reached up with his left hand and tried to grab for Undyne’s arm, but he could only grab his own. At least like this his right shoulder was no longer under so much stress, though it did nothing for his and forearm. He could only hope she didn't chose to tighten her grip, unsure how much more his ulna could take.

Of all the times he had spent time with Undyne, or seen her with his brother, he never once thought she would do something like this.

She snarled down at him, “Sans the Skeleton, you are under arrest for aiding and abetting a wanted criminal, and being an accessory in the murder of the King and a sentry.”

“you’re kidding me, right?” Sans said as he glared at Undyne with his left eye. His voice tense from the pain.

“I’m not the comedian,” Undyne said darkly.

“........ I don’t appreciate you coming in here and grabbing paying customers…….” Grillby spoke up. Raising his usually quiet voice as loud as it can get; which was like that average monster’s speaking voice. It was still unusual to hear, and Sans wouldn’t have believed it could get that loud had he not heard it himself.

Undyne turned sharply to Grillby, “This is your Empresses you are talking to! And don’t think I don’t suspect you guilty of feeding the BANISHED ex-queen a few nights ago.” Distracted by the fire elemental, Sans was relieved she finally set him down. No longer feeling threatened, he tried to focus on what was said over the ache in his shoulder from nearly being pulled out of the socket.

What Undyne said shocked him, and he looked up at the fish monster. How could she suspect something like that? No one saw Toriel. He might’ve been seen by Bunny, but that was no reason to assume Toriel came with him.

Grillby’s flames danced and snapped angrily. Before the fire elemental could say anything, Sans looked at him, “s’ok, grillby…” He gave his friend a smile. It was clear Grillby wasn’t buying it, but at least he didn't do or say anything more.

Nothing about this was ‘ok,’ but he was going to fake that it was until he can find a way to make it ‘ok.’ He had to. The time of enduring until the next reset was over. And that meant no more giving up or screwing things up with the knowledge that it will all be erased. The stains remain.

He had to deal with an angry Undyne in other timelines, but it was never directed at him. There was one when it was just her and himself left, they were both wanted revenge. In that one he had helped her keep this rage in check. While, he doubted he could do that now, remembering what she was like helped. Loud, active, and sudden, like an explosion; get through it and you can finally talk to the rational side of her. In other words, no point in fighting against her now; if anything, doing so will just extend her current state of mind.

“And you,” Undyne turned her attention back to Sans, “don’t try anything either. I know about your ‘shortcuts!’ Try escaping and I’ll tear down that door to get you, and her.” An odd grin crossed her face, displaying her wickedly sharp teeth, and she narrowed her eye. “On second thought, I like that idea.”

Undyne’s grip on his arm tightened, and San’s was sure he heard his ulna creak from the stress. Out of instinctual self-preservation, he used his left hand to push her hand off. Which was a joke; as if he had the physical strength to do something like that.

To his surprise, her grip loosened. Glancing up he saw the Undyne he once knew. The one that hung out with his brother and caused so much trouble. The one who threatened to hurt him if he made one more pun while struggling not to smile. The one he had convinced himself was just his boss, when really, she was more like that odd sister he never knew he wanted.

And like that the anger returned, the Undyne he knew again buried away. Just as before, when she pulled Sans another surge of pain coursed into his already aching shoulder. When Undyne finally released Sans, he started to relax; but, he moved his arm up to his chest, holding it protectively to himself.

That freedom was short lived, as he was grabbed by two guardsmen.

“undyne, please, can’t we just talk? there’s no need for... this,” Sans said, trying to appeal to her better nature.

“Sure,” Undyne snarled, “when you’re sitting in a cell, we will have a nice friendly chat.”

One of the guardsmen placed something on the back of his neck, and the world started to become fuzzy. There was the normal tired he felt every day, and then there was this. It was like he had exhausted his magic, and barely had the energy to stand. In the back ground he heard angry yelling, but right now he didn't care. How could he when he was drifting way to somewhere that felt warm, safe, and dark.

Before he could really settle into that feeling, it faded enough to clear his thoughts. There was still the exhaustion that comes with being low on magic, but he no longer felt he was about to float away. Able to think again, he figured out why that had happened from his own knowledge. Which was then confirmed as the words from the yelling going on around began to make sense again. They used a magic inhibitor on him.

Long ago magic inhibitors were created to keep rogue monsters and human mages in line. After all, you can take away a weapon and tie someone up, but you can’t stop the use of magic unless you suppress it at the source. Asgore had ban the use of them, except on the worst of criminals, because it was considered cruel, and could be hazardous if applied incorrectly.

He felt his smile strain as his right eye socket twitched. There were so many things he wanted to say right now, but he had no idea where to start. Instead he listened to Undyne while she snapped at the idiot who put the thing on him.

Apparently, they had it set too high.

_Apparently_ , his magic was retreating out of his body and into his soul.

**_Apparently_** , they nearly killed him.

From the corner of his eye socket, he could see Grillby’s flames were wild. And no wonder. All elementals hated these things. Inhibitors were more commonly used to keep summoned elementals under control by inexperienced summoners. He offered the elemental something that was supposed to be reassuring smile, but he doubted it looked that way in the end. The look he received in return was apologetic and frustrated. But Sans didn’t want the bartender to get in a fight. Grillby didn’t handle his magic well anymore…

Constant years of battles can do that to even the most stable of monsters.

Undyne led the group of guards, and himself, out of the restaurant and Sans glanced back at Grillby, who was literally fuming, behind the counter. That’s when he saw the bag of groceries sitting by the stool he usually sits on… Tori...

 

* * *

 

 

“Who’s there,” Toriel said and closed her eyes. The sharp sting of her fang, while it dug into her bottom lip, grounded her as she hoped, with all her soul and magic, to hear Sans’s voice.

“.............Toriel, it’s me, Grillby……….”

Her heart sank when she heard the whisper of a reply; all her fears from earlier bore down on her shoulders, and forced her to carry the weight. She hesitated, knowing this nightmare will be confirmed as true when she opens the door. To stave off the childish trembling she felt building up, she inhaled deeply and let her lungs fully expand till it nearly hurt. With closed eyes, she opened the door. “Come in,” She tried and failed to keep her voice from quivering as she spoke. The welling of tears burned, but she opened them and focused on her guest, “It’s too cold for someone like you to be out there so long.”

“.............Thank you……….” Grillby said. With silent concern, she watched the elemental enter through the door. For someone who always appeared to be fully of controlled, yet wild power, his flames never had been so low from fatigue. As he walked in, he tried to build them back up, but the exhaustion was plan to see. “.........Toriel, something happened………”

In the elemental’s hand was a bag of groceries; and the last of her hopes sank while a pang in her soul forced more tears in her eyes. Shivering, and face wet with the tears flowing down her face, all she could feel was fear and concern for the skeleton she loves. In the back of her mind a voice yelled that he was gone. That Sans was gone and she would never see him again. After all, that is always what happens, the ones she loves always disappear in the end.

It was unfair! How many people had to disappear from her life? In a vain attempt to ignore the negative voice, she inwardly pleaded for the best. New hope was placed on the thought that whatever force kept Sans from her was not permanent. Her eyes look back up at Grillby’s face and could see the concern he had for her.

“..........Undyne came to my restaurant and arrested Sans this afternoon……….. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner, but I wanted to find out as much as I could…………” Grillby continued.

“It’s alright. It makes sense, it would do me no good not knowing everything possible,” she said, her voice weak, “and thank you. Please, join me upstairs, and we can talk,” Extending a hand she offered to take the bag from Grillby but he shook his head to let her know he was fine carrying it. She led him to the house, her home that now felt empty without Sans, and into the kitchen. “You can leave the bag on the counter. I’ll take care of it later,” by now her voice had more strength but a tremble was still present.

Grillby set the bag down then turned to her, he opened his arms to offer her a hug. An odd behavior for an elemental, one that he had picked up on from being around monsters for so long. She accepted, feeling a need for some form a comfort. The hug was warm and supportive, but, while it helped, she still longed for the smaller, boney, yet somehow soft hug of Sans. They then walked over to the dining room table, sat down, and she listened as Grillby recounted what happened at his business.

 

* * *

 

 

Once Sans finally got to his cell, in the dungeon that barely any monster alive remembered the kingdom having, everything that happened finally became real in his mind. A feeling nagged at him as he heard the click of the cell door’s lock. This didn’t really feel like Undyne. At least, not the Undyne he thought he knew. She was a “take things head on,” and “get things over with” kind of person. Delaying whatever she had planned for him was not her normal style.

Glancing around the sparse and drab surroundings, he wondered if someone else was behind this. But that notion, itself, felt ridiculous. Events can change even the most steadfast of monsters, if they hit the right notes. Perhaps Undyne has simply changed. It’s not like he hasn’t changed due to the outcomes of a timeline. Once he shook off his usual laziness to help his brother rule a kingdom. Sans also witnessed Alphys overcome her fears to become queen. So, why would it be impossible for Undyne to set aside her kindness, and start acting cruel on her own?

And yet, it bothered him; almost as much as the fact he could no longer put his hands in pockets. The gray, oversized clothes, the guards gave him, failed to have any. He felt exposed, even with the layer of cloth; though it didn’t help the neck space was stretched too wide, leaving one shoulder uncovered half the time.

Instead of fixating on the lack of pockets, he fidgeted with the already frayed hem of the shirt. He had to give the guards some credit, trying to find something to fit his short, boney, yet somehow chubby, body is not easy. Still, it felt weird wearing something he had not worn near to rags himself. It seemed thread bare in all the wrong places.

As he struggled to free his phalanges from a loose string wrapped around his joints, he wondered how long Undyne was really going to keep him here. He was already tired of whatever game she wanted to play, and just wanted to find her and get this over with. Thanks to the magic inhibitor, though, he couldn’t even try taking a shortcut to Undyne, or even Toriel’s home for some proper clothes, food, and company.

Taking a deep, calming breath, he settled his thoughts. It did him no good to stress over things he had no control over. He decided to rest and think on this later with a cooler skull.

With a sigh, he walked over to the ‘bed’ and didn’t bother pulling down the sheets before getting on it. It had been a long day, and he needed a moment to rest. As he laid down he felt something hard under the sheets; confused he sat back up. Upon further inspection of his mediocre accommodations - his bed from Snowdin offered more comfort - he noticed there was a lump. Moving the covers, he saw a wrapped gift.

That wrapping paper…

There was a tradition he started long ago. When wrapping gifts for Papyrus, all gifts from “Santa” were wrapped better than the ones from himself. But more than that, the paper used for “Santa gifts” was the same every year. It was some special, shiny snowflake paper he found a ton of at the dump long ago. By using different paper from what he labeled as from himself, it helped keep the illusion of a jolly, old, gift bringing elf alive. The very same paper wrapped around the gift that was now in his hands.

Staring at the gift, his hands trembled as his soul waffled between feeling despair and unbridled rage. At that moment, his thoughts stopped, along with the facade of breathing. He uttered no sound, yet he wasn’t completely silent as his body started to rattle a quiet plea for some sort of comfort but threatened harm on any who would dare to approach.

It wasn’t until a drop of water fell onto the gift did he realize he was crying. Expanding his rib cage, he breathed in a shaky breath before exhaling a broken sigh. His fingers rubbed over some tape, on the back, as he debated in his mind of he should open it. The thought was tempting, but he doubted he could handle any more of this mockery. Instead, he just hugged the gift to his chest and let himself fall to his side, staring at the wall across from the bed.

Time passed, and he found that the calm cyan magic, that is tied to the trait of patience, was overpowered by the thrumming demands of yellow justice. His eye sockets narrowed as his vision focused on nothing. He more than understood Undyne’s own wish for justice against himself, but this? This had gone from cruel to heartless. His left eye socket started to flare only for the inhibitor to quiet that burst of magic while giving a small, but stinging, disciplining shock.

That did not improve his mood at all, or help his magic settle. He felt it swirling around inside him like a wild beast desperate to stampede, but being held back by a strong, invisible chain. His breathing became rapid, no longer calming but added to his stress.

He hugged the gift tighter to himself and tried to settle down. As his magic relax, he allowed patience to cool his head and thoughts again. Rest… he should rest, right? He should make sure he was well rested before he talked to Undyne.

As if well rested were possible.

He will try to get what rest he can for whenever she showed up.

 

* * *

 

Toriel listened in silence, shocked by the story being recounted to her. Confused by how something like that could happen, she stared down at her paws. When the story finished, she shook her head, “H-how could they blame him for Asgore and...” She hadn't noticed when her voice drifted off, thoughts wandering off to how Sans must feel.

A warm hand on hers brought her back to the reality of the here and now. Looking up at Grillby, she could no longer see him clearly through the tears. Part of her felt bad for how much of a crying wreck she was. It was a struggle, but she offered the elemental a smile in thanks. No matter how hard she tried, the tears wouldn't stop. In fact, her efforts seemed to be making them worse.

“.................... Undyne has been angry…………. And I think she is currently just lashing out anyway she can….……. Sans is an easy target, being the brother of her dear friend……….... I spoke with Dr. Alphys…………… I convinced her that Undyne was wrong ………. the Doctor agreed to investigate this………… So far, they are not allowing anyone to see Sans…………. But hopefully an exception will be made for her…………… they seem close, those two………….. just blind to each other’s feelings…..……..”

“Will Dr. Alphys get back to you then?” Toriel asked while she struggled to smile, to show she had not lost hope. What she managed to accomplish drooped to a frown, and she covered her face with her free hand, “I am sorry…. I j-just-”

Just by shaking his head and offering a worried look, he let her know she didn’t need to apologize, “..........Alphys said she would contact me………....” She smiled back at him, taking in his reassured for now. Though, next thing he said confused her thoroughly, “......... has Sans ever mentioned anything about timelines to you?.................”

“Timelines?” Toriel thought for a moment then shook her head. “No,” she then paused, a memory in the back of her mind inching forward, but the details of it she couldn’t remember, “well, maybe, offhandedly he might have said something.”

“............ yes………….” Grillby sighed, looking away, “........................... that is a common theme around him……………………… Most likely he has told you, but you forgot…………… I don’t fully understand myself……………………… I was hoping you would be able to fill me in……………………. Because I fear it may come up……………………..”

As much as she was happy that Sans had started telling more to her, she really did wish he had said more, and sooner. The two sat in silence, as Tori allowed all of what had been said to float around in her head. So far, it had been a lot for her to adjust to, and she doubted that would be the end of it. And what would she do if Sans could not return?

Toriel decided too late to help the last human child. Will she just return to her old ways, or do something more?

“................ I would offer to explain what I know……………… but I am hoping Doctor Alphys knows more……………….. And perhaps could explain it better………………….,” Grillby finally said, “................. anyway, she has my number, and will call me when ready……………….. I’ll head back…………………….”

Toriel looked up at the elemental, the idea of being alone, after having company, terrified her. “You’re welcome to stay,” she said without thought, and she meant it. With a wave of her paw, she indicated the couch, “I can set you up out here, if you wish.”

The soft crackling of his flames was the only noise as he thought. He looked at the couch, then the room, before looking back at Toriel, “...................... Your fireplace would be more “cozy” for me…………………. If you don’t mind……………….”

A sigh of relief escaped her, but she ignored her self-embarrassment. After all, Grillby is tired, and it is too cold out in that wintery landscape for a fire elemental in his condition. Standing she shook her head, “I don’t mind at all, make yourself at home.”

 

* * *

 

Time crawled by as he sat on the inflexible surface that was supposed to be a bed. He had slipped the gift under a mostly flat object, that he figured at one time was a pillow. Even though he didn’t want to admit it, he had become spoiled by his time with Toriel. Comfy bed, clean sheets, and even the new clothes she just bought him, were all things he now missed. But more than those things, he missed her.

Sans’s eye sockets dimmed, his energy felt lower than he’d normally be with what sleep he had; all thanks to the inhibitor and how worried he was about Tori. Sans had no idea how long it had been now. His cell lacked a window to the outside artificial “daylight”, and there was nothing else that provided a sense of time. Based on everything that had happened, though, he knew this had to be the longest he’d been away from Tori since moving in with her.

It had to be late by now. Or perhaps the next morning? A food tray had been slipped under the door, but he didn't have the motivation to go over to eat. He was just so tired, and struggled to keep his eye sockets open. The only reason he fought to stay awake was the chance Undyne would come soon. His previous attempt to rest ended in his screaming out in a panic; not something he wanted Undyne seeing him do. It had been so long since he woke up screaming, the experience felt new. It took him while to get out of that panicked state and quiet down to this calmer, but on edge state of being.

These factors combined, and he started to lose hope. Not that this was new. He laughed at himself inwardly, for being a mockery of monster kind. Somehow, he has scraped by with less hope than some other monsters who have fallen down.

He wasn’t sure when his eye sockets closed as he dozed off, but he remembered them snapping back open. Images of vines, dust, blood, and bled magic still haunted his mind as he struggled to calm himself. He could hear the guard talking with someone, but couldn’t make out the words. The only thing that made sense to him at that moment is the guards talking with Undyne, who was on her way in.

Really?

Now, of all times?

Without Toriel, he was back to needing to calm himself. A task that is far easier said than done. After failing on his own, he tried to remember that melody she would hum, and the sound of her voice.

With the initial panic now sated, he took slow and easy breathes. He felt the shifting of bone against clothe as he expanded and contracted his rib cage, and focusing on the sensation of breathing. Air filtered in past his teeth, through his mouth, then somehow down along his cervical vertebrae, and finished the migration in his rib cage. The air swirled there for a moment, captured by his magic, until he released it, letting it travel back up and out. Mysteriously, his magic must have warmed it during the air’s short time in his rib cage, as it was clearly warmer on the way out.

The guard fell silent, and no one seemed to be coming after all. It was too much to hope for, he supposed. Hunkering down, his back against the wall, he sighed. His mind drifted, and he found himself lost in the absence of thought. What snapped him from that dull trance was the scraping sound of the untouched tray of “food” being taken away and replaced with a new one. His eye lights fell upon the monster, but they completely ignored him.

Staring straight ahead, he let his mind drifted back to memories from the Ruins, with Tori, where it is safe and warm. He remembered cuddling with her, smelling the scent of pie crust, cinnamon, and butterscotch that seems embedded into her silken fur. The feel of her magic, rich in integrity and rolling like wild fire that, despite the boiling heat, was always pleasant. And the feel of her arms, strong and intimidating yet kind and gentle. When she would kiss, or nuzzle him there is the mix of tickling fur and caressing fangs. Lastly, he remembered the softness of her paw pads and the light touch of her sharp but non-threatening claws.

The dualities of Toriel. Strong yet gentle. Sharp but soft. Dangerous and deadly even though he never once felt in harm's way when she held him. Leaning back against the wall, he sighed, feeling relaxed for once since he arrived.

“H-hello,” Came a small, hesitant voice, which caused him to jump.

While contemplating Toriel, he hadn’t heard the owner of the voice walk into the dungeon. Sans turned sharply to see the yellow dinosaur he knew as Alphys standing at his cell door. The lights in his eyes were out as he did, detracting from any friendly appearance he possibly had. She smiled weakly at him as she shifted nervously under his abrupt and dark gaze. He forced himself to light his eyes, feeling guilt for startling her. With effort, he stood from the bed and walk closer, “heya, alphys… sorry if I startled you, just been feeling… tense.”

“I-it’s alright, I understand,” She chuckled softly then said, “I, um, came here t-to talk to you. A-about what is going on and, um… t-to see if I can h-help you?”

Looking at Alphys with some amount of consideration, Sans sighed, “so undyne sent you instead of coming to talk to me herself?”

“Um, well, yes... and no. She, um, k-knows I wanted to talk to you, but not that I-I’m here to, um, h-help you,” Alphys smiled awkwardly.

“Wow, Alphys, never imagined you to be the rebel type,” Sans grinned.

“Yes, well, i-if you hadn’t just d-disappeared, without e-even saying g-goodbye, maybe y-you would,” Alphys said, folding her arms, glaring slightly.

Sans shrunk back from the glare, knowing it was deserved.

“N-not only that, but you n-never tried to visit, or r-respond to my messages!”

“guess i’m not winning the ‘friend of the year’ award,” Sans hoped that would soften the mood a little.

It worked and she sighed with a smile, “y-yes, that is going to b-be mine.” He saw her, look around for a spot to sit, “a-anyway, this may take a w-while, so, um, guess w-we need to get started.”

As she started to sit on the floor he held out a hand, as if the stop her, “want me to pass you my, uh... blanket? The floor can’t be comfy for you.”

“Oh, um, s-sure, i-if you don’t m-mind,” She stopped herself and waited

Sans shrugged and shuffled over to the bed. He started to feel a little lightheaded from all this moving around, and no surprise there. Next to no sleep, he hadn’t eaten, and his magic was being artificially held back. To keep from possibly passing out he paused a moment before gathering the well starched blanket. Unlike everything else provided, it was a nice blanket, just poorly cared for. The dizziness remained, but he no longer felt so close to fainting. Still, he wanted to hold his head, but he didn’t want to concern Alphys. Shuffling back to her, he passed his blanket through the bars. From where he was, he could see a guard standing down the hall, watching suspiciously, “Naw, it’s alright,” Sans said them, “I got her something to be comfy with, so don’t trouble yourself.”

Alphys looked back at the guard who was glaring back at Sans, “M-maybe you shouldn’t, um, a-antagonize them?”

With a shrug Sans sat, but in the process, he practically let himself collapse on the floor with a clatter of bones. The clothes provided no padding, and he felt some regret for that action. Pain shot up his spin from his lower half as the rough collapse jolted his bones. As unpleasant as it was, it forced his brain awake, “So, what do you want to talk about, Al?”

Clearing her throat, after situating herself on the blanket, she pulled out a small note pad, “So, uh… h-how much do you, um… u-understand about why y-you’re here.”

“Very little, Al, nothing has been explained to me. To make matters worse, I don’t even know how long I have been here. And I gave up trying to ask, since the guards have yet to say anything. And has anyone told Tori where I am? I told her I wouldn’t be long,” He poked at the food on the tray, “and I’m still pissed about the inhibitor.”

“Um, Y-yes that would, erm, well,” Alphys mumbled.

“It’s okay al, it’s not like you put it on me,” Sans said, and noticed her wince; that caught his interest.

“A-anyway, I had t-talked to Grillby and h-he went to tell her. And, um, y-you’ve been here for, a day,” she said and then shifted uneasily under San’s empty gaze. The amount of time that passed sunk in, and he hoped Toriel was well. He then sighed and turned his gaze from the scientist. Toriel was doing alright before he showed up, he was sure she'd be fine again.

Alphys continued, sounding more nervous, “S-so about w-why you’re, um, here, Undyne says that y-you, um, helped the h-human. A-and that, erm, you d-did it with the i-intent on, well, h-having them k-kill A-Asgore.”

“why would i do that?” Sans shook his head.

“S-she, uh, thinks…,” Alphys falls quiet and fidgets.

Sans waited for her quietly, not wanting to rush her. After a moment, she finally finished the thought, “she th-thinks you, erm, d-did it to, um, g-get with Toriel?” The last sentence was meant to be a statement, but it came out as a question.

“that’s ridiculous, i didn’t even meet her until after the kid left the underground. Asgore was dead by the time i first set eye sockets on her.” Alphys made an odd humming noise and Sans frowned, “what was that about?” When she didn’t respond, he narrowed his sockets, “alphys, what is it?”

“Well, I mean, y-you did kind of, um, know her before,” She said hesitantly.

Sans narrowed his eye sockets more, “al?”

Alphys cleared her throat and shifted uneasily, “So, um, y-you know h-how I had cameras up to, erm, w-watch for h-humans?”

“sure, i located all of them around snowdin,” he shrugged.

“O-oh, so you kn-knew about it,” She looked relieved.

“knew about what, al?” Sans felt a sinking feeling, wondering if he missed a camera, “just tell me.”

“T-the camera, by the, erm, ...ruin door,” Alphys said, and he felt all the magic drain from his head to his stomach.

“so… there was a camera recording me… telling knock knock jokes to the door… to the person behind the door?” He leaned his head against the bars, his skull clicking as it touched, “al, we never told each other our names, i didn’t know who she was.”

“I knew, because A-Asgore told me. He, um, was having a b-bad day when I was there to g-give him my report. N-no one else knew, n-not even Undyne,” She hesitated, “You, um… seemed to make her happy.”

That statement meant one thing, “... al…,” he sat back, “aaalphy, please, _please_ tell me you weren’t watching.”

“Erm,” was her only response.

“aaaal!” he whined, “c’mon! why were you watching me do that? did all the times i hung out watching anime with you mean so little?”

“I-it was cute,” She said, blushing slightly, which made him groan in frustration.

“alphys, I am seriously reconsidering our friendship,” Sans muttered. Then his mind drifted to what he knew of her and his eye sockets shut tight. Speaking in a hushed tone, hoping the guard wasn’t paying attention to this conversation, he pleaded, “al, please, _please_ tell me you didn’t write one of those stories about us.”

The resounding silence that followed caused his face to flush with embarrassment, “al.”

“I-I couldn’t help it!” She finally said.

“al.”

“You two were just so c-cute,” she explained.

“alphys…,” he pleaded as if she could suddenly unwrite her stories.

They’re, erm, l-light?”

Pressing his hands to his eye sockets, he muttered with an air of sarcasm, “oh, well thank goodness for that. at least you weren’t writing porn about us” he looked at Alphys as she tried to feign an innocent smile, “i’m not one of those fictional characters you love to watch, al. tori and i are real.”

“If it helps, T-Toriel and Asgore are my, um, otp,” she muttered at the end.

Sans felt his right socket twitching at that and rubbed the sides of his head, looking at her with dimmed, though still lit, eye sockets, “no, al, that doesn’t help.”

Alphys shifted, then cleared her throat, “So, um, back to the m-matter at h-hand. She, that is, Undyne thinks that y-you knew, erm, because you m-met her in a previous timeline.”

“i didn’t remember that then. you did tell her i don’t remember what happens in previous timelines until it comes back as a dream sometime later? and what does filter back is usual the worst of them first? in all honesty, i don't really remember meeting her in the other time lines… just… i don’t know, and essence of her being there, i guess.”

There was a look on Alphys’s face, one he knew all too well from watching animes with her. “S T O P,” he said, cutting off whatever shipping thoughts were going through her head right now.

“Y-yes, but she, um… wasn’t convinced,” Alphys said quickly.

“she can’t just cherry pick what she wants to believe,” Sans tried to think, wondering what he could do to convince Undyne he didn’t know who the Lady behind the door was at that time. A memory, he would love to forget, filtered back to the front of his mind, “do your cameras record individually?”

“Y-yea, why?”

“so, when you were watching the kid, the Snowdin camera by the door was still recording, and you still have that recording?”

Alphys nodded and Sans sighed. He was both frustrated and relieved, “watch that and show it to undyne. i thought tori was dead and the evidence of that is there.” He paused for a moment then looked at Alphys, “i’d rather she not sees more than she has to see. it was, uh, shortly after pap...”

“O-okay, that should work,” Alphys smiled kindly, speaking up before he felt the need to finish that sentence. She looked at the notes pad as she jotted that down.

“so, uh, what else?”

“Erm, well, the, um… aiding the human?”

“i didn’t do anything to help the kid after pap died. before then, pap and i were having fun with the kid,” He sighed and shook his head, “and even if i tried stopping them, as she has been told, it wouldn’t matter. the kid would just reload the timeline until they got what they wanted.” He thought back then looked at Alphys with a frown, “what about the sentry? at grillby’s she said i helped in the death of a sentry.”

Alphys ‘hrmed’ and looked uneasy, “Well, um…”

“...who was the sentry?” he asked, yet he was sure, by her reaction, he already knew the answer.

“P-Papyrus” Alphys watched him.

A dark anger rose inside him and he clinched his hands, frustrated he didn’t have a pocket to shove them into. His eye sockets were dark as he could feel the mask smile creep onto his face, “ **is that so?** ” Alphys flinched as his voice echoed.

He calmed himself before he closed his eyes, getting the lights back, though dim, before reopening them, “i wasn’t there when he died. i had no reason to believe the human would hurt him. **i** would have been there for him if I knew he was in danger, not that it would even matter.” He stood, feeling himself wobble slightly as the dizziness returned, and walked over to the bed. “and you know what, **screw her**.” Sans snapped, “she didn’t even hire him as an ACTUAL sentry!” It hurt to raise his voice like this, as it required more magic at a time than the inhibitor gave freely. He sat on the bed, staring at the opposite wall.

His sudden outburst caused Alphys to jump, “S-Sans, what do y-you mean. Your brother always said he was a, um, sentry.”

“did you ever see his sentry station?” Sans asked, trying to keep his voice calm, “i _made_ it for him after Undyne told me she couldn’t make him a _real_ sentry. he was supposed to have my sentry station, but i ended up taking it over when Undyne felt he could hack it. instead of being an actual sentry he was just in charge of the puzzles, but still carried the title,” he shook his head, and gave Alphys a tired, though angry, look, “and now, after he is dead, she has the gall to call him one? when she couldn’t _really_ do it while he was alive? if she is going to do that, she could at least promote him to royal guard.” Leaning forward, he held his skull as he felt a pounding, radiating migraine start. “if she wants to accuse me of taking part in my brother’s murder, she better come tell me to my face.”

Standing Alphys carefully passed back the blanket, leaving it on his side of the bars, “I’ll, um, let h-her know.” Alphys started to walk away before looking back at him. “S-Sans, um… I’ll try and hurry this p-process up,” Alphys stammered.

“thanks, al, and sorry i said i was reconsidering our friendship. you’re a better friend than i deserve.”

“Y-you bet I am,” Alphys grinned

Sans chuckled, then looked at her, “can you find out how Tori is?”

“Sure, Sans.”

“and al, no more fiction about tori and me, ok?”

Alphys gave him an odd grin, the said, “J-just try and s-stop me.”

 

* * *

 

Toriel had received a text from Grillby that morning, it informed her that Alphys was coming to see her. The elemental had returned to work, trying not to raise suspicion. Before he left, he warned Toriel that Alphys is from Hotlands, and won't tolerate the cold well. That is why the goat monster had decided to wait by the door for the knock.

While normally patience is not a foreign concept to her, she still found herself becoming tired of waiting. Wondering if there was a problem, she started to text Grillby, to ask what could be keeping this expected guest, when she heard a tentative knock on the door. Mustering up a smile, she opened it and look out.

Standing in the snow was a shivering, yellow dinosaur, who nervously fidgeted her hands, “H-hello, T-Toriel, I’m, um, Dr. Alphys. Grillby said he’d tell you I was o-on my way.”

“Yes, please come in, Doctor. The house is upstairs, I have a fire to warm you back up. Would you like some pie?” Toriel asked, she felt an eager tremble travel through her. A part of her wanted to skip the niceties and hear what Alphys had to say about Sans. With a deep breath, tried to stay calm, not wanting to upset the already nervous guest.

“Oh, um, s-sure, thank you.” Alphys walked in, looking happy to get out of the snow. The two walked upstairs, and Toriel made sure the fire was producing enough heat to be pleasant for the dinosaur. She retrieved two slices of pie and brought them out for Alphys and herself.

They sat at the table and the silence was deafening. It was maddening. Toriel had to fill that void, and get the dinosaur to start talking about what she wanted to hear. After she swallowed a bite of pie, she said, “So, I heard you had a chance to talk to Sans yesterday.”

“Y-yes, I did, um… he asked about you,” Alphys tried to smile, but the expression looked haphazard.

“How was he?” Toriel asked.

Alphys shifted nervously and set her fork down, “I’ve, um, seen him b-better. H-he isn’t sleeping well, and, uh… stressed.”

Toriel looked down at the pie, it tore at her soul to hear such news, “When can he come home? How much longer is this going to take?”

“Uh, well, Undyne isn’t, um… w-well, she is taking h-her time,” Alphys fidgeted and started talking faster, “I gave her Grillby’s statements and the evidence that would prove him innocent of at least some of the charges, but all she did was look at it and walk away... I’m not sure what to do or how to get her to move this along. I told her Sans wasn’t doing well, and she’s acting like she doesn’t care, but, I mean, Sans is Papyrus’s brother so I think she does care. But she is so full of anger.”

“Alphys, slow down,” Toriel jumped in, and placed a hand on the small dinosaur’s shoulder. In the time it took for Alphys to calm down, Toriel tried figuring out what had been said, “So, she is just sitting on the information and doing nothing?”

Alphys nodded quickly and fidgeted again. Anger slowly kindled in Toriel, she stared at her pie slice, mind racing. Slowly Toriel stood and walked down the hall. She needed to get something, something she believes has do with of the timelines Grillby spoke of. They had talked more about it that night. His knowledge of them was weak at best, Sans spoke about them to Grillby rarely, and most of the time her love was drunk. But what Grillby had heard sounded important, and he felt it was something Toriel would need to know. It confused Toriel, as it sounded like time had traveled backward, or thing had happened but became undone.

Grillby said Alphys knew more about this. After speaking to Grillby she had returned to Sans’s room and looked at those notebooks. A lot of it still didn’t make sense, but there were dates and times repeated with different events.

Retrieving the notebooks and walking back to the table she set them down, “I want him to explain this to me, but is there anything about these ‘timelines’ I need to know about?”

Picking up one of the notebooks, Alphys’s scales blanched. She then picked up the other and read through it quickly, “There is a lot t-that I still don’t understand. But, he, um, remembers events that happened in previous timelines through his dreams.” She set the notebook down and pointed, “See, this is the date and time he had this, um, dream, and this is the estimated time he thinks the events occurred.” As Alphys looked through the scrawled handwriting, she was started to mumble to herself while getting an idea of the verbiage used. As she read she cringed and set the book down, “There is, um, s-some scientific backing to it, b-but it is unknown why he can r-remember it while w-we can’t. Well, kind of. He says he forgets a-after every reset only to re-remember. And, uh, we sometime n-notice them through, um, d-Deja vu feelings.”

“Is that why he is writing it down? To not forget?”

“Um, w-well, if a reset were to h-happen, then he never w-would have written it down. This is, erm, more to c-clear his mind and, um, organize h-his thoughts.”

Toriel frowned, “And he is having these dreams still?”

“There have been a lot of r-resets,” Alphys frowned, opening the first one again, “A lot of bad resets…”

Toriel closed her eyes, thoughts drifting back to the night she found Sans making coffee. No wonder he didn't want to sleep. And that night she spilt wine on him... and his reaction... A paw moved to her mouth, had he…

“Bad how?” Toriel asked.

“W-what?” Alphys shift.

“He spoke to me about a bad dream long ago. He found others dead, watched his brother die… and then…,” her voice cracked, wanting to give up and weep, “dying himself.”

“F-from what he t-told me, th-they aren't all l-like that. Some are better… some are, um, worse…,” Alphys shifted uneasily.

Sans **has** been through a war then. An unknown, silent war, with himself as the only soldier who stood between an invisible threat and those he cared about. All those times he called himself lazy, how further from the truth could that be? He was worn out, internally injured, and in need of peace.

“And Undyne, she is just leaving him in her dungeon to rot?” Toriel said, she heard a razor edge to her own voice. Crying can come later, her soul turned to a different emotion.

Alphys flinched and looked at her pleading, “I’m doing what I can.”

Toriel didn’t think, only reacted. She stood and walked to the stairs. She heard the patter of Alphys’s feet behind her, as she descended to the hall that would lead her to the door…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think we all have a little Alphys in us... I know I do~ Though, I wouldn't write about real people... that... just seems odd to me.


	10. Who needs sleep?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I suck at writing these, did you notice? Let's see... Toriel decided to go hang out with and old friend while Sans does pretty much nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had originally titled this chapter “I’m floundering here” because, you know, puns. But, I think this title fits better. And I was thinking of the Barenaked Ladies song “Who needs Sleep” when I retitled it.

_Sans stood in front of the door. Around him, wind blew through the pine trees, creating a haunting, echoing, yet hollow sound. It carried with it a lack of joy, a cold reminder that the world he knew was unforgiving. All he wanted now was something, anything, that could bring him some measure of warmth or comfort._

_Time continued ticking by as he tried and failed to get a response for the lady behind the door. He had lost track of how many times he had knocked, while inwardly pleading he would hear her voice in response. But each time, he received nothing but silence._

_No, that's a lie. It had only been 21 sets of knock, each set consisting of two knocks. It was simple math to figure out he has knocked a total of 42 times. 42 knocks that went from quick and close together to slow, defeated. Dread, of what fate had befallen her, slowly raised in the back of his mind now that the number of knocks was solidified._

_The fact his mind brought that up irritated him. That the reason why he was still trying to ignore that he knew how many times he knocked. That he knew, in all the time he had come to the door since meeting her, she had never left him knocking for this long before. Also, he didn't want to admit how dependent he was on her. Or, how desperate he felt._

_A shiver traveled up his spine, which felt odd. He wasn't rattling, and the cold didn't bother him. It was something else. A mix of fear, anxiety, a want to fight, and an ever-growing desire to just… stop. He had felt this want for nothingness before, but not this strong._

_This thought to cease existing left him conflicted. It felt right and wrong all at the same time. As if it were a pleasant dream with the terrifying undertones of a nightmare, waiting to drag him in. Fighting against it was harder than just giving in, but he didn’t want to just turn to dust. It’s not what his brother or the lady would have wanted._

_But with his brother gone it is so much easier to not worry about that..._

_And the lady not answering..._

_was she also…?_

_There were many things he gave up on. There was also an introverted sense of not needing others around to be happy. But this? Being alone? It was terrifying, and as hollow sounding as the wind._

_He stared up at the door, feeling the shivering increases, causing a false rattling sound._

_“it could be worse…,” he shuttered, teeth clacking together, no matter how tightly he tried to clench his jaw. With a sigh, he glanced down at the red piece cloth, clutched in his mittened hand. He could see specks of his brother’s dust embedded into the material, and tears filled his sockets._

_The ability to stand on his own gone, Sans leaned against the door and tried to focus on something else. In this timeline, he was alone._

_He told himself to stop it. After all, that might not be completely true. Old Lady could still be alive. Also, the human hadn’t even made it to Undyne yet, either. He wasn't truly alone; a past timeline self, he doesn't remember yet, insists he knows what it is to really be alone._

_But, was it worth it to hope she might not be a pile of dust behind this door. Hoping was starting to take a lot more energy than he thought he had. It was a responsibility he had left for Papyrus. Now, he had to do all the hoping himself. And that could include that she just might not be there right now. After all this time, and all the knocks she has answered, she was bound to not answer him eventually. Right?_

_The law of probability states that her not answering is possible, and considering this isn’t their normal meeting time, that percentage increases. But does it increase enough to outweigh the growing percentage of her being dead? Or to beat his fears and, ever growing, defeatist personally._

_“Lady, i don’t know if you can hear me, and just aren’t answering… not there and doing something else that’s important… or, uh, can’t hear anymore at all,” the last part came out darker than he intended. “See, the human… they, well…”_

_There was so much he wanted to say, but the words weren’t coming. He felt trapped by his inability to speak the words in his head._

_“If you are… well, not there anymore… would you forgive me if I broke the promise?” He then sighed and slid his left hand down his face to his mouth. It rested there, as if trying to hide his worn and stress taut grin. “Heh, who am i kidding? The real question is if i can forgive myself. I said i wouldn’t attack the human, right? Keep an eye on ‘em. Well… let’s just say, it is a hard promise to keep,” Sans heard himself laugh bitterly. It was all he could do to keep down the sobs boiling beneath the surface. He wasn’t sure he was ready to cry._

_“I won't break the promise, even though you're…,” he paused, noticing his wording. ‘Even though’ not ‘even if’. It sounded more definitive, more set in the belief she is dead. His eye sockets darkened and Sans slumped down into the snow._

_He felt so, painfully, alone._  

* * *

 

 

Toriel opted out of taking Alphys’s offer of sleeping at the lab. It seemed smarter to spend the night in Waterfall and then move out again once they were rested. There are more guards in Hotland, and she was worried a sentry spotted them, taking away any element of surprise.

They had been so careful, moving around the cameras that Alphys had set. The only one that would have seen them was unavoidable. The camera set in front of her door. Apparently, Sans didn't ever know about that one the night he took Toriel Grillby’s, and Undyne saw the video feed the next morning when Alphys was reviewing them.

It was part of the scientist’s responsibilities, watch and review the cameras for humans. “H-had she not been standing th-there, right behind me, I n-never would have t-told her,” Alphys had apologized.

“That is alright, you can't help if she happened to be there,” Toriel had said to calm her down. When Toriel asked if there was a chance someone could see them now, Alphys explained she changed the video feed with recordings of a normal night.

The sentry that might have seen them, had been near the border of Snowdin and Waterfall, at what had been one of Sans’s stations- according to Alphys. They slipped by when the sentry was distracted, but both were sure they were seen.

Even if they did remain unseen, Toriel didn't trust going to the lab. Alphys didn’t tell Undyne she would be away, and the Empress might choose to visit. After all, talking with Alphys, Toriel has learned Undyne enjoys watching something called anime with the scientist.

Toriel didn't want to rest, she felt fine, and would have continued going. Her goal of getting back Sans as soon as possible giving her strength. Based on all she had heard, her dear one needed help. But the short-legged dinosaur, traveling with her, just couldn't keep up anymore.

The two found a safe and dry side cavern that was near the entrance to Hotlands. Alphys told Toriel to just leave her behind, but that felt wrong. Besides, if what Grillby said about Alphys and Undyne was true, she may come in use. Toriel didn't want to fight. Not that she won't or can't. It is a matter of memories from the last war, she no longer wanted to have her magic cause such harm.

Depending on what she will see, Toriel is unsure if she could hold back her wrath. It will be far different than her last fight. When she fought the human child, she could not bring herself to harm them once they were injured.

No.

The human dodged her every attack with admirable grace. Why did she think otherwise?

Unless…

Toriel looked over at Alphys who was still getting comfortable. She felt like she should wait, and ask Sans, but the question was bothering her. Instead, she thought of a similar one to ask.

“Alphys, when I met the child, it felt like I was greeting an old friend. And I felt like I knew things about them. Is that because of these ‘resets?’” Toriel asked.

The dinosaur flinched and took her glasses off, stalling as she cleaned the lenses on her lab coat. “W-well, I, um, …,” she put her glasses back on, and sighed, “o-over all, my knowledge on r-resets is limited, for, well, u-understandable reasons.” She smiled an awkward, unsure smile.

“That may be true, but you know more about the subject than I do. All I desire to know, based on what you know, would that be the probable cause?” Toriel again asked, with patience.

“Based p-purely on my u-understanding, I would h-hypothesize that y-yes, the, um, feeling you h-had were the results of a, um, re-reset,” despite the hesitant nature of her words, there was a confidence hidden in her tone. All her time dealing with Sans, and needing to decode his hidden meanings, made her sensitive to that subtle change.

So, with that answer in mind, Toriel wondered if she had fought the child before? Did they know how she fights well enough to master dodging her attacks?

How many times would someone have to fight another to master dodging that well?

That thought caused a chill to travel from her soul and through the rest of her body. She shivered while trying to subtly smooth her fur, feeling the odd sensation of it standing on end. Once calmer, again she wondered how many times that level of mastery would that have taken? Or, was it as she originally thought, and the child was just talented at dodging?

That would all depend on if the child remembered the resets. And for that answer, she would only trust what Sans had to say. “Thank you, Dr. Alphys. That was most helpful.”

“Oh, uh, yes, I-I mean, y-you’re welcome. Though, well, I w-would need to c-confer with, um, Doctor… I-I mean, S-Sans to g-give you a definitive answer.”

“Doctor?”

“Hm?” Alphys replied as she started to settle back to sleep.

“You were about to say a name. A Doctor Someone. Who was it?” Toriel asked.

“Oh, well, um, about that. W-we, that is, Sans and I, would c-call each o-other Doctor when we were t-talking science stuff.”

Alphys had that grin again. An insecure expression that left Tori wondering what she was so nervous about. The scientist was holding information back perhaps? Toriel was getting tired of this.

When she was queen, she had little patience for all this secret keeping. And right now, considering the current situation, this was all really starting to annoy her. Alphys must have noticed, as she looked away and hummed a little tune for self-comfort.

No, she won't let her frustration get the better of her. For now, she will let that be. She was keener on getting answers from Undyne and, more importantly, her love. She feigned a content smile, like she had when needing to settle scared children. When Alphys glanced back, the dinosaur relaxed, making it easy for Toriel to add, “Let’s rest, thank you for sharing that information with me.”

“Y-you’re welcome,” the dinosaur replied, happily.

 

* * *

 

At this point, Sans no longer knew if he wanted sleep or to slip into a comma. Anytime he started to doze off some gruesome image would snap him awake. Once he tried yelling for Undyne, only for a guard to snap at him to ‘shut up.’ He wanted to taunt the guard back, but lacked the motivation for the effort.

That, and it didn't seem like a wise idea.

The gift remained under the pillow, still wrapped. At times, when he laid his head down, it was there, an ever-present hard object reminding him of his failures. He even slipped his hand under to hang onto it, resulting in a feeling of anguished peace, which oddly calmed his turbulent soul.

He had curled up on his side, watching the lightly picked at food tray. He didn't know how many he had seen now. Really. For once, he truly did not know. It was an odd feeling compared to his normal wishful thinking, that if he pretended he didn't the number would leave his head. But, for as much as he had desired this moment, it irritated him. It is just as annoying as losing track of the days. There was a strange abnormality to that feeling. He would almost find it terrifying if his dreams weren't so horrific.

A monster entered the dungeon, snagging his attention as the barely eaten food is pulled away and a new tray is placed in its stead. It looked just as inedible as the last, and he felt no desire to get up to confirm that.

After the monster left, he heard the guard say quietly, “You should eat more.”

“...i haven’t been hungry, guess you can say i don’t have the _stomach_ for it,” He joked, though there is a sharp edge to his words. When she didn’t reply, he figured he went too heavy with his resentment in the reply. Still, he didn’t care to apologize right now.

Giving up, he rolled over, turning his back to the food tray. To his surprise, and her credit, the guard spoke up again, “Undyne will come, and you will need to strength for then.”

Sans turned his head and sat up to look at the guard through the bars. She was a white and black rat; though she had a scar across the bridge of her nose, she wore a peaceful expression. It was clear she was only trying to help, but his mood had soured, “will she? really? because i’ve been waiting a while now, and i’m starting to think she’s just a figment of everyone’s imagination.”

The guard looks like she is about to speak, but then closes her mouth. He sighed, turning his back to her and the bars. Resting his head against the wall, the silence was numbing as he ran out of things to think about. There was nothing left to do other than stew over what was keeping him here, yet again. But just as his mind started to turn to that, guard said quietly, “I… I am not supposed to say this, but… Toriel was seen heading to Hotlands.”

At that news, Sans turned back to face her quickly. The cell spun on him while his vision darkened momentarily, but he didn't care, “tori? tori was seen outside the ruins?” This was troubling. What would Undyne do if she caught Toriel. What would Toriel do?

And yet, he felt a glimmer of hope.

“That is what I have heard,” the guard turned her attention to the door out, listening, clearly worried about being overheard.

“thanks for telling me, i’ll say nothing about it to anyone, alright?” Sans saw her relax and nod in response.

With new found hope, he looked down for a moment at the food. It didn’t look any more edible, but there was a slight feeling of hunger, so he moved from the bed to the floor and, with some effort, ate. Pap’s cooking was far more edible than this slop. Once done he slide the tray out and went to his bed to try sleeping.

 

* * *

 

Time barely crawled by. Alphys was snoring lightly a few feet away, but the constant dripping of water from the cavern ceiling was disturbing Toriel. That sound was irritating with her mind flooding her consciousness with endless thoughts and concerns.

How was Sans? How difficult will it be to free him? Will he talk to her about these resets? Will she like what she hears?

That was a given. No, she won't like what she hears. Good things don't cause nightmares. If it was the resets that disturbed his sleep, then the answer to that one night and why he curled up on the floor, ready to die, is there. And why was the child mentioned in his notebook? Are they involved in this or somehow causing these resets? She couldn’t imagine them being the one who caused such suffering.

And yet, they killed Papyrus. Even though she never met the monster, the idea felt unconscionable. And if it was them causing the resets, then they left him dead even though they could clearly change that. That is, of course, if the child really is the one resetting. It was an assumption at this point, but one she is fears is true.

 

_more loops with the kid in the hallX5, did not see end this time. did not see trick._

_the brat killed me and came back to kill me again._

This was too much, and she was getting no rest. Giving in, she decided to get up and walk around a little. The only thing sitting there was doing was making her more anxious about what she will hear.

Or worry about what condition Sans will be in when she sees him.

Exiting the small cavern, she glanced around, wondering where she should go. She knew Gerson lived around here but she did not know exactly where. It would be nice to have a chat with the old turtle. He had been a friend of the family, and perhaps he would also have some insight she could use.

Just as she was about to wander in a direction, a small, white, furry creature appeared before her. It was a dog, and it just stood there, looking at her with an odd, goofy smile. When she smiled back at it, the dog started to walk in place while wagging its tail. That odd reaction nearly caused her to laugh. “Are you that little annoying dog I used to hear about?” She asked, remembering stories about it from Sans. After all, it couldn’t be the same white dog that ate her cell phone, how would it have gotten past the stone doors?

The dog started to move, and Toriel decided to follow, curious. As she did, the dog picked up its pace, causing her to speed up as well. But it wasn’t trying to run away. It always turned and waited before rounding a corner, making sure she was following. Reason told her it was silly to follow a dog like this, and yet she wanted to see where it was going.

At one of the new paths. she turned the corner and didn’t see the dog anywhere insight. What was there was a small port to the river and the very turtle monster she had set out to look for. He was sitting on a stone, watching the water while taking a drink from a mug. Toriel walked closer, and was ready to greet him. The old turtle beat her to it though, “Is that Toriel I hear?”

“Hello, Gerson,” Toriel smiled and walked beside the wise monster.

The turtle let out one loud, bark of a cackle. “I thought so,” he looked over at her with his one good eye, “I would have to get a lot older before I forget the sound of those foot falls.”

“I’m sorry I didn't come to speak with you before returning to the Ruins,” Toriel found a rock near him and sat, she glanced around again for the dog. Oddly enough, she saw no trace of it, as if it had mastered Sans’s shortcuts itself.

Gerson waved the apology away, “Bah, no reason for that. You were busy, I was busy. Frankly, the whole thing was organized chaos. And I hate to say, but it’s also my fault for all that happened. As much yours or that lad’s. Which is why I’m here.”

“Gerson? How can it be your fault?” Toriel frowned.

“I found Undyne when she was younger. Spry little thing she was. I helped raise her, was like a Gran’dad to her. When she left to challenge Asgore to a duel, I supported her, knowing he’d help her more than I could. He was like a father for her,” Gerson sighed, sorrow weighing on his already heavy shell.

“When the child left, it was more than her best friend she lost,” Toriel said in a hushed tone, understanding now.

“Yes, and I wasn't there for her,” old turtle looked at her, “As her last parental figure I shoulda done somethin. But, I didn't. I let my little girl run amuck, thinking she’d get this outta her system. I figured she would rant and throw a fit like she did when she was younger. Thing is, she’s not some little girl anymore. She's a woman, with grownup responsibility and power. In a way, she did rant and throw a fit, but with the influence of the captain of the Royal Guard.

“I don't know what her life was like before. Some fish monsters are very secretive, keeping to themselves. But she never spoke of her parents, or any siblings. When Papyrus showed up at her house at midnight, or such, her first thought of him as a pest, but potential guard.

“Over time, she started talking about him as if he were her brother. And she became very protective of him. Undyne made her own family, and in one day, she lost most of it,” Gerson ran a hand over his beard.

The two sat, listening to the river as their minds contemplate the words said. All the anger Toriel felt started to die down as understanding took its place. “Thank you, wise friend.”

“Ha! Wisecracker is more like it,” the old turtle grinned. Toriel laughed and Gerson joined in. A boat arrived at the dock, ending that moment between old friends. Gerson stood, his joints popping as he did, “Never known you to take so long before.”

“Tra la la. There was too much traffic today…,” the River Person said.

“Oh, when did we get a ferry?” Toriel asked.

“Not sure, they just showed up one day. Shall we?” Gerson turned to Toriel.

“Thank you, but I was traveling with Dr. Alphys. I do not want to leave her behind,” Toriel smiled and stood, extending a paw to Gerson.

“Ah, smart move,” Gerson winked. “Well, you'll still beat me there, I’m sure. These old legs aren't what they used to be.”

“Gerson, you may say that, but I’m sure you’d still be a terror on a battlefield,” Toriel smiled softly.

With a laugh Gerson said, “I said my legs were old not my arms. They could still wield my warhammer as if it were a toy.”

The two shared a laugh, the kind of laugh that those who went through something like war together could share. Gerson started to get on the boat when he paused, “She respect strength and passion for whatever a person is pursuing. I think she sees you as weak for leaving in the past. Then when you came back, you backed down without a fight.

“Show her the Toriel I once knew,” the old turtle monster then laughed, “you’ll have Alphys there to keep you both inline.”

“Are you saying I should fight her?” Toriel asked, verifying what she heard.

“Maybe not right away, but a duel never hurt anyone.”

Then they parted ways, Gerson on the boat, and Toriel back towards Alphys.

Doctor Alphys was standing outside the cavern, wringing her hands, while pacing anxiously. Upon seeing Toriel, relief washed over her face, as if dumped from a bucket above her.

“I’m sorry, I couldn't rest and thought I should go see a friend of mine while you slept,” Toriel smiled, “If you are ready now, we can get going.”

“O-oh, yes,” Alphys nodded, and the two began walking.

 

* * *

 

Sans did manage to doze a little, it was not enough to feel rested, but at least he didn’t feel worse. The food he ate also helped, and he didn’t feel as weak as he did before. But really, it was the thought of Toriel that kept him going.

Sitting up for a moment, he stretched his spine while rubbing the back of his neck. The inhibitor was causing the vertebra it was attached to start to ache, but he knew better than to futz with it, aware it would do more than set off an alarm.

With a sigh, he glanced around his gray surroundings, wishing there was something else to do. Interrupting his thoughts, the door to dungeon slammed open, hitting the wall it is framed to with a loud clang. Startled, Sans struggled to keep his magic in check as it started to swell up in reaction. His efforts were in vain, the shock and forced lowering of his magic from the inhibitor resulted in his vision temporarily deadening, as well as cursing to himself.

A voice bellowed, “Out, and you all stay here, I’m talking to him alone.” The voice snapped him out of his pained daze. For the moment, his vision was mostly dark and what he could see was blurred. As his magic started to filter to his eye sockets, he watched Undyne finally walked into his view.

The fish monster stared at him with her one eye, snarling as she did. She was looking him over as if assessing him. He didn’t care, it’s not like she looked that good herself. The fish monster’s scales have dulled and her eye looked tired.

“and here i _trout_ i’d never get to see that smile again,” Sans winked, acting like everything was normal. But the good humor is missing from his voice; his mood had gone from soured to rotten, and he wasn’t sure if he could muster up any politeness.

Undyne snorted and rolled her eye, “Ah yes, funny as ever.”

He stood, slowly, knowing better than not to. Still cursing the lack of pockets to stick his hands in, he folded his arms. He had no idea what he looked like; but, he could guess from the feeling of himself swaying from time to time. His eyes lighted blinked out more for the sake of conserving energy than intimidation, “how’ve you ever been, undyne? why’ve you come to see me?”

“And here I thought you wanted to talk to me,” Undyne retorted.

“ _wall-eye_ did,” Sans grinned darkly as Undyne flinched at the fish pun. “ _water_ -ver it was i wanted to talk about i unfortunately forgot.”

“Keep that up and you can just stay in there,” Undyne snapped.

His eyes narrowed, “so what? you planning on letting me go? spoke to al?”

“I did,” Undyne frowned, “and she showed me that tape and told me what you had to say for yourself.”

“so, what then? you still think i’m guilty?”

She grabbed the cell door with one hand and snarled, “Oh course I do! You didn’t fight back, you just rolled over and let it happen. Even with all that timeline crap I never would just give up like you.”

His right eye socket twitched as he felt a new burst of anger. Fine, he was done with this, all of this, “are you kidding me? undyne, you have no idea how i got like this, so please save your self-righteous judgements for someone who actually gives a damn.”

The two stared each other down before Undyne let go of the door and stood back, “No, I don’t. I honestly knew little of you or your brother, even if I did think of him as my best friend. But, I doubt your brother would have given up.”

“heh, you're right, he wouldn’t have,” Sans shrugged, “instead he’d try helping the anomaly, over and over again, no matter how many times it killed him. he’d show it mercy. just as i know, if he was alive now, and saw this, he’d get you to release me and then forgive both of us. because he is papyrus, it’s just that way he was.”

“That is why I could never let him be a guard, and you know it,” Undyne frowned, pointing at Sans, “Alphys relayed to me what you said, and believe me when I say I wanted to come down here and smash your smug face in. I would have let him join, but your brother was too soft, he would have gotten himself killed.”

“no, your ideas for the guard made him too soft to you,” Sans snapped back, “he was a peace keeper, and you can't tell me that the guard can't use those. you can't just fill the guard positions up with people who only think the best solution is beating up the bad guys. if you do you’ll end up with a battalion of bullies.”

“Are YOU telling ME how to rule MY people.”

“well, i mean you pretended to hire someone for a sentry position because you couldn't say ‘no’ to him. someone who, by the way, was a top-notch sentry!”

“I did consider him a sentry,” Undyne frowned.

“oh? did you? because, well,” Sans dared to use a little magic to echo his voice while pointing at Undyne, “ ** _i_ made his sentry station, _i_ kept training him when you started those cooking lessons, and _i_ was the one reminding him his dream could still come true.** ” He put his hands to his own chest, “you hated me, and yet i was given multiple sentry shifts and had more clout among the other sentries than he did.”

“And what good did that do me? Why couldn’t you have just done your job? One human, you just had to kill one human and not only would Papyrus and Asgore be alive, but we could be on the surface,” Undyne growled.

“i’m sorry, but what part of the human being able to reset did you not understand?” He sighed, “i made a decision only to jump in when i knew i had to,” Sans looked away, frowning.

“And that wasn’t a knew-you-had-to moment?” Undyne’s eye narrowed as she looked at him. “Your brother being murdered wasn't a KNEW-YOU-HAD-TO MOMENT?”

Those words hurt, and he shrunk back a little. He winced inwardly, knowing this would be a sign of weakness Undyne will prey on. “it’s not like that,” Sans finally said.

“Oh, clearly it is not. I would think that family dying would be a moment to fight back. But how would I know.”

“there is more to it than you know,” Sans said, still not looking at her. He was convincing himself of that more than anything. His sockets narrowed as he dared to look her way, “besides, my damage output is still one.”

“Really? Because at this point that is getting hard to believe. If you were so weak why would you choose be a sentry? Why did your brother speak so highly of your abilities?” Undyne laughed, “I used to think he was just talking you up, like how you always spoke positively of him. But then I remembered that Papyrus generally didn’t lie, and when he did try to, he sucked at it. So, he either over estimated you, or you are far stronger than you claim you are.”

“why don’t you take this thing off me and find out for yourself?” he jeered

“Only to have you run off? How stupid do you think I am?”

“do you really want me to answer that?”

Undyne had a that weird grin, the one that was a mix of “I’m so angry right now” and “I’m going to enjoy destroying you.” She slowly grabbed the door and leaned closer, “You know what? Maybe I will take you up on that offer, I’d be worth it, just to see you either beg for mercy or run off like the coward you are.”

“heh,” He was ready to get this over with and widened his stance a little more than what he was used to when fighting. His sleep deprived body would need more stability to stay up. How much has his reaction time suffered? He will have to start strong as he didn’t know how long he is going to last.

“SANS!” A new voice called out. It was not in anger, but bore a sound of concern and love. Sans knew that voice. It cut through his rage and forced him to see how idiotic he was being. When he saw the voice’s owner, a feeling of shame for his behavior caused him look away. Instinctively he tried shoving his hands into his pockets only to remember he didn’t have any. Unsure what to do with them, he just hung them at his sides.

Toriel had arrived and here he was, a mess. When they first met he lacked anything that should be seen worthwhile, and now he was sure he was utterly useless. Why did she put up with him? Would she still put up with him? He wanted so badly to change for the better for her, but he was failing to at every turn.

“Oh Sans,” Tori’s voice sounded tired, strained, and sad. He looked up again, seeing her eyes filled with tears. Not like this? Why did she have to see him like this?

“What are you doing here?!” Snapped Undyne, “And where are the guards?!”

Tori turned to face the current ruler, fire dancing in her eyes, “I am here to collect my friend and love. And I will not be stopped.”

Magic swirled around Undyne’s hand, forming a spear, “Like hell you are! Where are my guards?!”

“undy-,” Sans started, stepping forward, wanting to stop her from trying to attacking Toriel. But in the process his magic swelled again, causing the inhibitor the react. Flinching back, he steadied his magic and tried to shake off the pain.

“How could you use such a barbaric contraction that my ex-husband banned the use of? How could you do this to him?” Toriel growled at Undyne, waving a hand to him. Over all, Sans was not enjoying being the center of attention on this matter, it just reminded him of how pathetic he must look.

“You must know that he’s near impossible to keep in one place.”

“Which shouldn’t have been a problem since you had nothing to hold him on other than speculation,” Toriel then gave a halfhearted laugh, “My, things have gone downhill since I left.”

“At least under my rule, murderous humans won’t be allowed to just run around freely killing!”

“No, instead you will be locking up your own people for saying or doing something you dislike hearing.”

Worried about what might happen, Sans was again going to try interrupting the argument when Alphys finally spoke up, “Stop!” He hadn’t even noticed the scientist was here until that moment, and apparently neither did anyone else. Everyone looked at the small dinosaur.

There was an immediate change in Undyne as she de-summoned her spear and relaxed her expression. Still there was anger in the Undyne’s eyes as she looked between Alphys and Toriel, “What is this about? Why did you bring her here!” There was betrayal there, in her eyes.

Pleading for reason, Alphys approached Undyne, “You are angry, I-I understand that, but this is solving n-nothing. A-and, I, um,” her confidence fading. She had noticed everyone’s attention was on her, “I think we have bigger th-threats to worry about, than, erm… this.” she waved her hand to the whole area.

“You brought the banished queen here just to tell me that?” Undyne glared at Alphys who shrunk back.

“I, um, well, s-she brought h-herself here, but, you, um… should un-banish her, s-since we might need her if what I-I think may happen... happens.”

“And what might that be?” Undyne snapped.

“Um… well….” Alphys looked around at everyone.

“Doctor Alphys?” Toriel asked, looking down at Alphys who wrung her hands.

“I, um…. Would like to talk to Sans about it first, I d-don’t want to start a f-false alarm,” Alphys grinned insecurely as she looked up at Undyne.

“what is it, al?” Sans said, he lit his eyes lights, but it was a struggle to keep them lite. With how skittish his friend could be, he wanted to appear at least somewhat friendly to her. But after all the arguing with Undyne, he was low on energy, and it was hard enough to stay focused on standing.

“Um… do you mind if they-”

“i’m too tired to care right now al, just tell me what’s up.”

Alphys looked up at Tori, “Sorry, I, erm, don’t think you wanted him to know you showed this to me. But,” Alphys reached into her lab coat and pulled out the notebook that he had been using to write the dreams related to the flower in.

The sight of it, and knowing Toriel had seen it, made him feel light headed and nearly fell over. He managed to stay balanced, though the imbalance of magic also resulted in dulled senses. All he heard was the hum of his own magic, but in the background Tori’s voice was saying something. When it cleared he placed his false smile on his face. They were all looking at him with some level of concern, even Undyne. Trying to ignore the looks he focused his attention on Alphys, “oh, that. what do you want to know about it, al?”

Grabbing the notebook out of Alphys’s hands, Undyne flipped through the pages, “What is this?”

“I-it is a record of the, erm, activities of an a-anomaly that came before the human child. An anomaly that I-I…. I fear I accidently made,” Alphys explained before looking back at Sans, “It t-took a while for me to u-understand what you wrote, b-but there is one thing I d-didn’t see, and I’m, um, h-hoping you can answer. What happened t-to it?”

“nothing,” Sans said flatly

“N-nothing?”

“the human beat it when it came to determination. it lost the ability to reset, but other than that, nothing. it is still out there, somewhere,” Sans shrugged. As much as it bothered him that the flower was still out there, the fact it hasn’t really done anything allowed him to keep looking nonchalant.

“S-Sans, um, reading that, I… c-can’t help but be concerned,” Alphys wrung her hands again.

“I don’t understand, what is this about,” Undyne said, shoving the notebook back at Alphys.

“As much as I’m sure we all would like Sans to explain, I hardly think this is the time or place.” Toriel interjected, then looked at Undyne, “Can we please open the door. I don’t believe you have enough evidence to continue holding him here.”

Glaring at Tori, Undyne growled, “Last time I checked I ruled the Underground.”

“I understand that, and I will not fight you for ruler ship, but I think you want to be a fair ruler. And unjustly imprisoning someone is not fair. That is something I will fight over.”

Undyne quietly stared at Toriel then spat the words, “Fine. I was going to let him out anyway.” She pulled out her keys and started to unlock the door. “You never answered my question from earlier. Why didn’t my guard stop you?”

“They tried,” Toriel smiled, “But I convinced them that taking such action would be unwise.”

The click of the cell door lock was exhilarating and Sans genuinely smiled, “thanks, undyne.” There was a small amount of sarcasm in it, but he knew better than to say that dripping with the tone in front of Tori.

Tori swept into the cell before he could move, and quickly scooped him up. A feeling of warmth and safety washed over him and he clung to her. Never again did he want to be separated from her for that long. He buried his face into her neck feeling her soft fur against his bone while her long ear draped over the back of his skull, and he couldn’t help but smiled.

As Tori started out of the cell he felt her move and it was almost like a rhythmic rocking. Desperate for sleep, he felt his mind start to un-focus on any thought. He tried leaning back in her arms a bit, but she was holding him in place.

A question had been asked, and it sounded to be coming from Undyne. Based on everyone’s silence he wondered if it was supposed to be for him to answer. He tried to focus again, thinking on what he heard to see if he could make sense of any of it to estimate what the question was. But he was out of luck. It sounded to him like a mumbled mess of words at best. “the… uh… wha was t’question,” he heard himself slur.

“What’s the deal with this first ‘anomaly?’” Undyne snapped.

He un-buried his face and noticed how blurred his vision was. He struggled to get it to focus, but at this point he might as well keep his sockets closed. “right, um.... it…” he had started to drift off but tried again to focus, “sorry. it, uh....”

Undyne sighed, “Toriel, put him down, you’re holding him is putting him to sleep.”

“please don’t,” Sans heard himself mumble, clinging onto her even tighter.

“I think we should let him sleep, then….” Tori’s voice continued, but the words were lost on him as he could no longer stay awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday, Grandma Poisond.


	11. No longer Under a-rested

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans sleeps!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so happy I was able to get this done on time for the last day of Soriel Week. I’m sure many of you will be busy reading all the other fics that have been submitted for the week, and if not, I encourage you to. But, for this fic and me as a writer, Soriel Week means a lot. It gave me the courage to post the first chapter of The Door when I saw the reactions people had to my one shots last year. I thank all of you for sticking with me, and I hope you had a wonderful week filled with beautiful Soriel!
> 
> I also want to thank the artists who have drawn something for this fic, be sure to check them out:  
> JDylah_da_Kylah from [A03](http://archiveofourown.org/users/JDylah_da_Kylah) posted this beautiful piece on chapter six of the comment section: [With permission I posed it on Tumblr.](https://topazshadowwolf.tumblr.com/post/153707157742/something-harmonious-and-magnificent-on)
> 
> For chapter 8, [blaiddsumu](http://blaiddsumu.tumblr.com/) made this beautiful piece of art: [Found here.](http://blaiddsumu.tumblr.com/post/157576476543/fanart-for-topazshadowwolf-i-call-it-the)
> 
> Just this week, [poisondilu](http://poisondilu.tumblr.com/) drew a comic of one of the scenes in chapter 5, which I am still marveling at: [Found here.](http://poisondilu.tumblr.com/post/163743045766/sorielweek-2017-day-4-protection-again-dont)
> 
> Also recently, [Skeleplatypus](https://skeleplatypus.tumblr.com/) drew these from chapter 8 and 9: [found here](https://skeleplatypus.tumblr.com/post/163845091386/heres-some-random-doodles-from)

_"hey, uh, lady?"_

_"Yes?" Toriel responded. The two had been sitting in silence for a while. Each reading their own thing, only occasionally interrupting the silence with a fact or a random joke that came to mind. It may seem odd, sitting near someone and not talking, but both were tired, and just wanted the company. Well, company without the added stress of needing to be funny or interesting for the night. It felt nice, familiar, just knowing he was there._

_"you hear me talk about my bro, but i never hear you mention any of your family, except for the occasional hint that you have, or, well, had one," her friend said. He then quickly added, "sorry if that was a little... uh..._ nose _-y," he laughed, she wasn't sure why. It's not like he could see her long snout. Perhaps he had one himself?_

_"No, it is alright," she then sighed, quietly, "My family is gone, and I guess I don't like talking about them because of that. Not that they aren't on my mind, much like your brother." She closed her eyes, feeling her heartache at the memories of children’s’ laughter, and even the booming laugh of the man she once called husband. "But those memories are now a painful reminder of what was. Perhaps, one day I will wish to speak to you about them."_

_"but not now, huh?"_

_"Sadly, no," she then closed her book and looked at the door, "I hope you don't mind that."_

_"naw, lady, it's fine," he was quiet, either returned to reading or he was thinking on what she said. From what she has learned about him, though, she is inclined to believe he was thinking. Her suspicions where proven correct as he spoke up again, "hope you don't mind that i keep talking about my bro."_

_"Nonsense, I love hearing about Papyrus," she smiled, trying to imagine the large smile that has been described to her countless times._

_"good, 'cause, uh, honestly nothing much happens in my life that doesn't involve him," he confessed._

_"I hardly believe that, you sound like a rather interesting person," Toriel replied brightly._

_"being honest here, lady, anything i have done... well, it doesn't matter," he chuckled, and she heard him turning the page of the magazine he was reading._

_"On the contrary, I think it does matter," she informed him, trying to sound insistent while remaining friendly. "You're being here to keep me company matters to me," she said cheerfully, "So, I'm sure there is plenty of other things you do that matter."_

_"thanks, but, uh...," he fell silent, not finishing his thought._

_"But, what? There is nothing an individual does that is not important," Toriel insisted. It was clear he was in one of his moods, and it bothers her that they seem to be more often than before._

_"it's," he paused then sighed, "it's different than..." He sounded oddly frustrated, like the words he wanted to say just weren't there. Again, he sighed, louder this time, before trying again, "it's not like the normal kind of 'not mattering.'"_

_"How so?"_

_"like, uh, how best to describe this...," she heard rustling of paper, and figured he was fidgeting with the magazine while he thought. "okay, have you ever had a dream, like a really vivid dream, where you do something only to wake up and realize it never happened?"_

_"I have had such dreams a few times. More in the past when I was with my family," Toriel replied._

_"it's like that."_

_With a tilted head, she thought about what he just said, but she wanted to make sure she fully understood what he meant. To verify, she asked "Are you trying to say, everything you've done was in your sleep? I know you say you sleep a lot, but I hardly think that is the case."_

_"heh, naw. but, might as well have," he said in that tone she hates so much. He brightened up, before saying, "anyway, when, or if, you're ever ready to talk about your family, i'll listen."_

_Of his tones of voice, she much preferred that one. It sounded relaxed, almost happy. She rested her head against the door and smiled, "I know, and thank you. But can you please not speak so ill of yourself again? You're my friend, and I don't like anyone talking about you like that, even yourself."_

_"no promises, but i'll try, sound fair?"_

_"For now, Dishes, yes," she then smiled, "speaking of families, what do you call a female monster with children?"_

_There was a definite chuckle, and she wonders if he knows the answer, but will feign ignorance to hear her give the punch line, "don't know lady, what do you call 'em?"_

_"A_ mom _ster!" she said brightly. That was always one of her favorite type of puns and jokes. Even the "your momma" jokes, to an extent, could make her laugh even though she was sure she was supposed to take offense to them. Still, you can't be hurt by something you accept as your own, right? Well, they aren't meant for civilized joke telling, and she wasn't sure how her friend would react to them. So, she’ll stick the with the milder mother jokes for now. What mattered to her was how much he had laughed at her pun, and that was a lot. And she did love that sound, which set her mind at ease. What would she do without her pun buddy?_

\---

Shortly after picking him up, Sans was practically asleep in Toriel’s arms. He was trying to stay awake, and she felt him start to lean back to avoid drifting off. It was partly out of selfishness she hung onto him, preventing him from doing so. It had been so long since she had seen him, she wasn’t ready to let up on her hug, even if it meant he would soon be asleep.

As much as she would love to talk to him, the way he looked disturbed her, and she would rather he take this chance to rest. Which resulted in her glaring at Undyne when ordered to put him down. The notion of being ordered to release him caused her lips to curl, exposing more of her fangs. From within she could feel a growl starting to form from the protective nature taking over.

Oh, she wanted to fight. She wanted to make Undyne sorry for all of this. But right now, Sans needed her more. To properly fight Undyne, she could not be holding Sans. Yet, Sans needed to be somewhere safe, to rest, and he would worry if Toriel did get into a fight. These thoughts were conflicting, and causing her to worry about what the best course of action should be.

Then the quiet words he said, “please don't,” tore at her feelings. She heard in his voice the same desire to never be separated again. His magic felt disoriented and weak, most likely because of the vile thing on him. She doubted he was even aware his magic was trying to reach out for her own, but she could feel it. Looking at Undyne, she felt her rage, for now, put at ease. First comes the care of Sans, then, when she knows he is well, she will show this other monster her wrath. She will hold her tongue for now, and try to keep the peace.

“We should let him sleep, then try getting more answers when he wakes. In the meantime, please get this thing off him,” Toriel said, indicating the inhibitor.

She didn’t know if she was expecting a fight or argument over the removal of the inhibitor. The fact Undyne just complied, and without a word, came as a surprise. When Undyne moved closer to remove it, Toriel watched her carefully, making sure of no foul play. It didn't sound like something this proud warrior would be inclined to do, but at this point Toriel didn't know what to expect. She didn’t have any past experiences of her own to give confidence in Undyne’s honor; only word of mouth testimonials, and those she is starting to question.

“Fine, we’ll let him rest. But I don't want to wait forever. If this ‘thing’ Alphys talked about is a threat, I want to hear about it as soon as possible,” Undyne said. The inhibitor was tossed to the side far gentler than Toriel would have thrown it, even if it did hit the wall, before falling to the ground.

“I am curious myself,” Toriel forced a sigh, giving herself more time to relax before she continued speaking. With the barbaric contraption off, Sans’s magic felt stronger, which let her relax. This calmer mood allowed her to look at Undyne differently. If she were to describe the ruler she would say she looked like a wilting flower. “Since I have traveled a long way, same with Alphys, I think I will take this opportunity to rest while we wait. And perhaps, you should too,” Toriel said, offering the younger monster a friendly smile, an action far harder than it appears. “Believe me when I say, I am aware how hard it is to get sleep as a rule. But, if you don’t rest, when you can, your ability to make wise decisions decreases.”

“I don't have time, or need the lectures,” Undyne glared at Toriel. In her eyes was a clear desire to fight, her magic sparking around her hands. It seemed to be her glances to Alphys that kept her from attacking.

“U-Undyne,” Alphys said with a slight squeak, “I-I can help you after you wake. B-besides, there w-was that one series we were watching. And you h-have to see the end! I know you'll like it.”

She could see Undyne weighing her choices only to give in, “Fine, but the moment he wakes, or you wake him, I want to hear about this ‘anomaly.’”

“Of course,” Toriel replied. She then noticed Alphys shifting back, as if trying to be part of the background, “And I would like to hear more about what you know too. It never came up before, that you might have made this ‘anomaly,’ during our travels. Needless to say, I am a bit surprised by that bit of information.”

“Well, y-you see,” Alphys started, looking away.

“That is something else we can discuss later,” Undyne came to Alphys’s defense, “after we rest.”

Opening the door to the dungeon to calling for a guard, Undyne found them still there. Some were looking a little nervous, and several had char marks on their armor. Undyne shot Toriel a glare, but the boss monster didn’t care. When she arrived at the dungeon, she had asked the guards to move, and a few needed convincing before obliging. Still, Undyne ordered a guard to take Toriel to a guest room.

Knowing the guards were just following orders earlier, Toriel did apologize to them. It pleased her that most of them accepted it, though they did so while avoiding Undyne’s glares. The one that was leading her to the guest rooms, was one of those guards, and he seemed more than happy to get away from there.

It felt weird for her to be escorted to the rooms she had previously walked visitors to, while giving them a tour of the castle. Other than those few occasions, she rarely went down these halls herself. When she lived here, both with and after Asgore, she mostly was in the house, within the castle grounds, or in the throne room.  Both, were not places she enjoyed being within the second time around, but she accepted that her presence there as part of her duty. Besides, there wasn't a need to go anywhere else, most of the time. Nevertheless, she had been this way enough to see Undyne had done some redecorating. That was no surprise to her, it is not uncommon for new rulers to adjust their surroundings to fit their needs or desires. And Toriel found it interesting that there were more images of past members of the guard, most of which were around during the wars on the surface.

The guard opened a door and let her into one of the rooms, which she remembered as being nicer than some of the rest. She thanked him for his service and entered before breathing a sigh of relief. Deep down, she wanted this, to be alone with her poor, tired Sans. He hadn’t stirred at all or reacted to anything since falling asleep.

She moved over to the bed in the room and tried to set Sans down, but he was still clinging to her. This made her chuckle softly and figured she was stuck like this for now. Getting into bed, she continued to hug him, resting her head against his skull, and closed her eyes.  Hoping for just one last thing, she ran her fingers along his spine, gently massaging the vertebrae as she had done in the past. Sans was deep asleep and she didn’t know if it would work; so, when he started to rattle softly she couldn’t help but smile. This was a sound she could easily fall asleep to. Feeling greedy, she continued massaging his spine until she drifted off.

Not to her surprise, she was the first to wake between the two of them. At least his grip had loosened and she could finally free herself from him. Not that she was ready to let him go, but there was something that needed to be done. Staying cuddled in bed won’t help in that regard, and she was set on putting her wants behind the need. She stood and walked into the bathroom to clean up first. It felt good to wash the grit and dirt of her travel to New Home out of her fur. She just wished she had something new to change into. Having left in such a hurry, she didn’t bother grabbing anything.

Exiting the bathroom, she found Sans half curled around a pillow he started hugging in her place. She hated to leave him, but this was something she'd rather do without him there. The bedside stand didn’t have anything on it, other than a lamp, let alone something to use to write a note. She checked the draw finding a note pad and pencil and started to reach for them. Before she could, she considered how she would feel waking up to find him gone. They had been separated for too long, note or no note, it would hurt her soul to wake up to find him nowhere near.

Still, she needed to get this done before he arrived to talk to Undyne. After some thought, she knelt by the bed and started to use her right hand to pet the back of his skull. Something caught her eye that she missed the night before. There was a mark on one of his cervical vertebrae, where that “thing” had been.

She knew all too well about inhibitor burns, and that clearly was one. Biting her bottom lip to hold back the boiling feeling building inside, she first reached out and healed the damage. As her magic healed the wound she saw him start to relax, the burn must have been a constant discomfort. On his face, she saw the start of his genuine smile in his sleep. Amused by this she ran her thumb softly along the healed bone, taking care in case it was still tender.

“Sans, dear,” she says softly, and he started to curl tighter around the pillow, as if it would save him from waking. This made her giggle before she leaned forward, nuzzling the back of his skull before kissing him.

In response, Sans started to uncurl and she kept kissing, moving slowly around his skull to his mouth while sliding a paw under it to turn his head. It took a few more kisses on his mouth before she started to feel his magic tingle on her lips in a pleasurable manner. To her annoyance, his magic felt hesitant, fearful, as if expecting repercussions. Before now, and once he accepted she loved him, he very forth coming with his magic when it came to expressing love. This cautiousness was aggravating to feel from any monster in this situation. But from the one she loved?

What helped soothe her from a building anger was his boney hand, as it moves to her cheek, slipping through her fur gently. It wasn't him she was mad at, and he didn't need that feeling around him right now. Leaning back slightly, she could see his eye sockets were only half open, and his eye lights are fuzzy around the edges, but there was still a look of love in them.

“My sweet,” she said while touching his cheek, and he turned his face into her hand. The soft sound he made, to indicate he was listening, accented how tired he still was. “I am sorry to wake you, and I want you to continue resting a little while longer, but I need to go take care of something.”

That made his eye lights focus to smooth edges, and he started to sit up, “I can come with.”

“Nonsense, my love. I know you're exhausted, and this is something I can do myself,” she said as she placed a hand on his chest to hold him still. Before he could object she added, “Just rest a while longer, I’ll see to it that you are woken, and I’ll get your clothes brought to you. Then you can clean up and get out of those.”

“Do you really need to?” he asked while placing a hand on hers. She saw the worry on his face and felt worse for needing to leave. If there was something to take away from this, she was happy she didn’t let him just wake up alone.

Leaning over again, she nuzzled his nasal bone and smiled bigger as she heard the wonderful song of his deep, rumbling chuckle. How much she would love to stay here, and get him to fully understand how much she has truly missed him. She sighed, sitting back, “Yes, Sansy, this is something I need to do.”

“heh, alright, t,” Sans said, but he didn’t look any more convinced. Right now, she wouldn't be surprised if he tried following her, and she knew how sneaky he can be when he really wants to. If she could get him to fall asleep again, that would be best.

His brow ridge was creased with concern, so she gently placed her hand over his sockets, forcing him to close them. In response, he raised his hands to lift it off, but she kept it there. Perhaps this was a bullying move, as between the two she was easily the strongest, but right now she wanted to get him to relax. To ease the tension on his face, she ran her thumb over his brow as if trying to smooth it out; which caused his attempts to uncover his eye sockets to become lethargic.

Pleased with this, she reached up with her other paw and started to pet the top of his skull softly, knowing well that doing so could help him get back to sleep. “I’ll have someone come to wake you. Be nice to them,” she said and giggled at his grumbled reply. It didn't take long before he was out again, his mysterious "Z's" being proof of that.

Standing up she walked to the door and looked out. There was a guard nearby, and she called softly to him as she exited the room, not fully closing the door behind herself, “Excuse me, but do you know where his things are? When he finally wakes up, I’m sure he will be wanting to change out of what he is currently wearing.”

“I can have them brought up,” The guard, a canine, replied, “will you need anything else? Breakfast, perhaps?”

“Oh, yes please, if you don’t mind,” Toriel smiled, “but for him. I have business to attend to with the Queen.”

“Empress, actually,” the guard corrected.

“Ah, right, I’ll try to remember that, thank you,” Toriel nodded, “Do you know if she is awake?”

“Empress Undyne is meeting with Gerson in the throne room.”

“Wonderful, thank you. Anyway, can you see that he gets those things in an hour and a half to two hours, and that he is up? He also has business with the Empress.”

“I will let the room service know to bring the food then. And his things should have arrived around that time, as well,” he bowed slightly and started to walk off.

“Oh, and before you go, can you make sure they bring ketchup with the breakfast? A bottle would be best.”

“I can do that,” He bowed again.

“Thank you very much,” Toriel said. She watched the guard go before looking back in at Sans. He was still completely out, and she sorely long to climb back into the bed, hug him, and feel him start to cling to her again.

Closing her eyes, she sighed. No, she can't indulge in those thoughts, not right now and with what business she had to attend to. Looking in at Sans one last time, she rekindled her resolve as she remembered the burn. Her lip twitched slightly as she remembered seeing him in that cell, weak and barely standing. Within, her magic turned like a cyclone of fire as she recalled the hesitation of his magic. Quietly, she closed the door and turned, walking down the hall with a single-minded goal.

When she arrived at the throne room there were two guard standing outside. One of the guards took notice of her, and turned to face her, “Toriel, Undyne has been waiting you and Sans.”

“Yes, well, he is not quite ready, and I have some unfinished business to discusses with her Majesty, that he is not required for,” Toriel replied before moving to the door to open it.

The other guard moved quickly to block her way, “We’ll announce you're here.” The one closest to the door started to open it, but she was not about to wait for such… procedures.

She didn’t really push her way past, as she didn’t really push anyone out of the way. She just continued walking forward and both guards decided not to test her, letting her enter the room with worried looks. Undyne and Gerson were sitting together in the bed of flowers that Asgore had grown. Both looked up at Toriel, Undyne looking annoyed and Gerson with an intrigued smile.

“Ah, hello there, Toriel!” Gerson greeted her.

“Toriel, I was expecting you and Sans. Why are you alone?” Undyne demanded.

“He will be arriving later. For now, I believe you and I have unfinished business to take care of,” Toriel replied, walking further into the room until she was standing beside them.

The fish monster looked at her a moment then looked back to Gerson. “It can wait,” she said while casually waving Toriel away.

“No. It can’t,” Toriel said flatly.

The old turtle was grinning, watching this. Rubbing his chin in a thoughtful manner, he said to Undyne, “I think you have more pressing matters to "discuss." Perhaps I'll rest while you two sort things out.”

“You will not!” Undyne snapped before turning back to Toriel, “And you will, now out!”

“You think you can just order me out like that?" Toriel gave a short scoff of a laugh. "After you kidnapped my love, placed a torturous device on him, and then neglected him?! I saw the untreated burn mark on the back of his neck,” upon mentioning the burn Undyne turned her head to look at Toriel. It was clear she knew nothing about that, which made Toriel all the madder. “I held back when I first arrived. I saw a greater need than releasing my rage out on you. But now that need had been met, it is time for us to settle this,” it was a struggle to keep her tone even through all of that, but years upon years of practice permitted her to maintain an authoritative tone.

“Is that so?” Undyne snarled.

“Get up, ‘Empress Undyne,’” Toriel growled with no respect for the title. “I’d hate to burn the flowers my ex-husband painstakingly cared for all these years.”

“I’m surprised you even care,” Undyne replied, mockingly. But she stood, a determined look to win this fight crossing her face.

“While my love for Asgore never returned, I do not harbor hate for him. He was part of my life, and someone I, at one time, loved dearly," she said, then looked around at all the flowers. They were like the yellow flowers that now grow where Chara's remains rest. Closing her eyes, she looked back at Undyne, "Thus, destroying a memento of him is not my intent. I’m sad he died, but it was a consequence of his choice to declare an unnecessary war.”

“UNNECESSARY WAR?!” Undyne yelled back, “He was fighting for our freedom!”

“No, he was fighting for your hope, and had everyone clinging to a false ideal. We had already lost the war to humans, why would we return to the surface at war again? I knew eventually the bottom to this lie would dropped, and everyone would fall hard!” Toriel stepped towards the back, where she was sure her ex-husband fought many times before. Him, and the children she once mothered.

“And look what has happened? He is dead, and your focus is to continue what he knew could never happen. As great as Asgore was, he knew, deep down, the humans would just kill us if we returned to the surface by means of murder. And yet, instead of choosing another option, a peaceful option, he forsook my council and stayed with the plan that suited his anger,” Toriel finished as they entered the room. Turning, she faced Undyne, feeling the anticipation building within for the fight about to occur.

Undyne summoned a spear into her hands while snarling, “And then you ran away. Like a coward, you turned your back on us, your people!” Several more spear bullets formed and she sent them at Toriel.

Toriel was not expecting an attack just yet, still she ducked and weaved her way through the attacks, stepping carefully, eloquently, and ignoring the biting pain as one she did not see hit her shoulder from behind. Toriel reminded herself that this was no time to be under estimating her enemy. Undyne was, after all, Head of the Royal Guard. That is not a position given to just anyone. Also, Sans had said in the past, that Undyne trained Papyrus, whom Sans said was the greatest fighter he knew. Granted, it seemed Sans was inclined to talk up his brother anytime, but it was still a detail she should keep in mind.

“For the longest time, I too believed that," Toriel closed her eyes, remembering her own self-hatred, and the day she first heard Sans through the door. Composing herself for combat, she looked at Undyne, "Then I was reminded, by one I hold most dear, of the real reason I left. I didn’t run away, as you so callously accuse. I left what I perceived as insanity. My morals would not hold to the notion of killing those who could be no different than my child, Chara, just because they were human. I went to where I hoped to prevent Asgore’s wrath." Magical fire writhed her hands, the colorful flames dancing with her anger. All the hues that made up her soul in view, with Integrity blue being the most predominate on display.

Taking the opportunity presented, she returned with an attack of her own. She started with a simple wave of dancing flames, wanting to gage the skill of her opponent. To her surprise, Undyne didn't dodge away from the flames like most try to. Using the spear in her hands, she blocked the balls of flame that came close enough to be a threat.

“You should have been here for us, your people. Besides, you had more than one child! Asriel, remember him? Murdered by humans, like the very ones you want to protect. But I guess the only one that mattered was the human, right?” Undyne then used the spear to seek out Toriel’s soul and turned it green.

Toriel didn't enjoy the feeling of being unable to move, but so be it. Like a lioness, she roared, "How could you insinuate such! I am, was, a mother. There is not one of my children that I favor over the other!" Toriel gathered her magic in preparation, "Asriel, my dear, sweet child... his death was tragic, but he did not blame the humans who killed him. He would not have wanted such bloodshed in his name."

Undyne summoned up a multitude of spears which came at Toriel from different directions. Using a fire barrier to block the attacks, Toriel turned and watched for the incoming spears. There were a few that were trickier than she expected, switching directions on her at the last second. But all of which she successfully blocked. Wasting no time, Toriel sent another wave of flames at Undyne the moment she could.

“No, I'm sure he would have rather been alive! Besides, it is not like you had a plan.” Undyne yelled back. She was fighting admirably, but it was clear her anger was getting the better of her. A common mistake, especially for the young who have not seen, or experienced, real combat. One can train and practice all they want to avoid it, but only a real battle could test one's abilities. Toriel saw a hint of carelessness as a fire ball scorched the proud warrior’s shoulder. “If you so strongly believed all you say you did, why didn’t you help him!” Another mass of spears was summoned up and they encircled Toriel.

“By trying to save the humans, I was also trying to protect my people,” Toriel replied. This time, she was ready for the trickier spears and expertly blocking the attacks as if dancing in place. The fire she used as a shield then gathered together her paws. Sweeping her arms wide, she sent a wave of flames toward Undyne. “What good would come from us returning to the surface in a state of war we could never win? What you did to Sans was no different than Asgore's blind war declaration. Making snap decisions, made from anger without any real consideration, is not a way to lead.”

"It is better than doing nothing!" Undyne snapped, blocking the attack. Her magic was becoming more erratic.

"Just like Asgore, you let your emotions lead," Toriel frowned. She straightened herself, eyeing the ruler as if judging her, "What have you done with your rule? Well, other than falsely imprison a monster and--"

"HE LET'S US ALL DOWN!" Undyne yelled. She sent more spears at Toriel, who again, turned in place to block the attacks with her magic. "Just like a coward, he chose you and that human over his own family, over the king!"

"And if Sans had died, would you really be that much happier?" Toriel asked. Again, she caused flames to rain down onto Undyne, but she watched more carefully, and she noticed that Undyne was losing her resolve.

Still, the fish monster blocked every attack as if they were nothing. Her stance was solid, unmoving, and there was an eccentric aspect to her fighting style. While she has seen monsters and humans fight in this manner for audiences, she doubted it was for fans that Undyne acted so much. It was likely Undyne was showing what she can do to intimidate Toriel. Unfortunately for her, this is not Toriel's first fight, and that is a technique that will not work.

"Never, but that doesn't mean he couldn't have done something!" Undyne refuted.

"Fair enough," Toriel said, "but only if you ignore the fact he is already aware he could never win against the human." As more spears traveled towards her, Toriel prepared to defend. "You forgot he was hurt by his brother's death as well. We were mending each other’s emotional wounds in peace, before you interrupted."

Again, same attack, just different rhythm and faster speed. There were also more spears, making the attack longer and more challenging, but over all, she was starting to feel ready for something new. Though, being trapped by the green magic, there was little she could do against some attacks. At least this is easier to deal with when immobilized.

“Asgore needed you more, and more than those humans,” Undyne snapped. She summoned up another multitude of spears and sent them toward Toriel, "You weren't the only one hurt by the loss of your children. Even the humans he killed weighed on him. I could see it."

Toriel varied her attack by having the flames come at Undyne from the side instead of above. At this point they weren't getting far, and Toriel knew she would have to fight harder. It has been a long time since she fought anything that stood a chance against her. She had fought the child, but she wasn't going full strength against them, after all, her goal wasn't to kill them. Now, though, she intended on winning.

“I always gave him my counsel, and was there behind him, guiding him with my knowledge and experience,” Toriel responded once Undyne was done defending.

Again, same attack but slightly different. The spears were moving in at different speeds, nearly tricking Toriel. Some were traveling slower than others, but appearing first, acting as a distraction for the fast ones. Keeping on guard though, she didn't intend on taking any more damage from Undyne. But this was becoming more difficult than Toriel thought it would be.  She wouldn't be surprised if Undyne had been practicing with Asgore, which gave Undyne the advantage of knowing some of her attacks. Still, she doubted Asgore had fought Undyne with the fierceness she was about to unleash.

Calling up more of her own magic, she sent fire raining down on Undyne. “Do you honestly think,” Toriel exclaimed while Undyne tried to block the flames, “that I would just leave him without a word? Did he not tell you of the days we argued, debated, and fought over this? I didn’t just leave him to deal with all of that alone without trying. Do not forget, I had loved him. But he made his choice, and it was one I could not stand by.”

Keeping her attack up, while Undyne was distracted, Toriel summoned up more fire to surround the fish monster and move at her from all sides. Undyne noticed them as Toriel sent the mass of fire in at her. The warrior barely had the time to build a defense, but she managed to block most of flames. As the smoke cleared, Toriel could see the char marks of a few successful hits.

“You keep saying you loved him! BUT YOU LEFT HIM ALONE!” Undyne’s spears were becoming unstable, and wild in formation. Magic may be a way for a monster to express their emotions, but when emotions become out of control, so does a monster's magic. Toriel could feel the danger of each bullet, but they were barely holding together, “Do you have ANY IDEA HOW MANY TEARS HE CRIED WAITING FOR YOU?!”

Toriel was free from the green magic on her soul, which was a welcomed feeling. But now the attack has changed, as a group of spears come at her head on, she dances to the side when needed. The attacks now coming at Toriel, lacked the aim of before. Composing herself, she didn’t make a counter attack, allowing Undyne to summon a mass of spears that required Toriel to dodge more as they followed her. Keeping her fire around her paws, she avoided most of the spears, save one that cut a small slit in her left ear. Toriel couldn't help but wonder how much more threatening a composed Undyne would be.

Once ready she turned to the Empress, a large fire ball summoned in her paws. With ease, Toriel sent it towards Undyne, and it collided with its target. It caused no harm, but did knock Undyne down. “I loved him, Undyne. Do not think I didn’t spend days, weeks, months, and years in the Ruins crying. DO NOT tell me for one moment that I did not love him!” Toriel felt a tear moving through her fur and instinctively reached to wipe it, only to feel her fur was soaked. She didn’t know how long she had been crying with her focus on the encounter, perhaps the whole fight.

Undyne hadn’t stood up yet, and Toriel walked closer, “Yes, I did not return to him, but he did not seek me out too.”

“You were hidden away!” Undyne yelled back.

“To most monsters, yes,” Toriel said, calming her tone, but more tears slid down her face, “he knew me enough to know where I was. Just as much as I could have returned to him, he could have come to me. I left to the old home we once shared, near where the humans fall. He knew, I know he knew.

“The forgiveness we needed to restore what we had is a two-way street. It can't all be him, or all me. We both must reconcile with the pain we felt and still feel. We both felt betrayed, and the trust we once had, broken,” Toriel sighed, turning away, “I thought for sure, he would see he was wrong and come for me. Then as the years dragged on, I understood he was no longer the monster I once knew.”

Undyne sat up, “Yeah? And what about you?”

Looking back at Undyne, Toriel shook her head, “I changed too. I was far more… open and happy before. I can still act that way, but inside I am closed off, and cold. As much as I thought I wanted him to come and get me, I also didn't want his apology. I wouldn't accept it unless he told me he would give up on his futile war. This torn perspective left me feeling as a failure, and that my people would be destroyed by my incompetence.

"I am no longer who I once was. I do not know if I have it in me to fully forgive him, and now I never will because I don't have that chance. It tears at me, day in and day out, that the last words we shared where so angry. But, not enough to surrender my own morals for his wellbeing. I am too stubborn for that, and he is too passive. That is what our argument revealed about both of us."

With a sigh, Toriel calmed her flames, she looked at the, slightly burnt, Empress of Monsters. Extending a paw, she offered to help the younger monster up, but was refused. "I just don't understand how you could have left him like that, alone," Undyne said, calmer, but still anger was in her tone.

"I do not know if what I did was right, but I couldn't stomach his war declaration. Not if it meant potentially killing children that would have been no different than our Chara. It was hard enough watch that dear one...," her body trembled, "that dear one wither. Seeing, and knowing more like them died by my husband's hands, that is what I struggle to forgive him for.

"I understand you and Asgore became family to each other," Toriel smiled, "Well, those humans were my family." Looking down and away, her smile fading, "Family that I ultimately failed."

"And were they?" Undyne asked, looking at Toriel. There was still frustration of the fish monster's face, but some had waned, "were they like your Chara?"

"A few, though several were, admittedly sweeter. Chara had their... issues, but overall, they were a good child. I honestly believed they wanted the best for us, all of us."

"Well, now," Gerson said, walking into the room, "got that little tiff with each other out of your systems?"

"I believe so," Toriel smiled at the turtle before looking back at Undyne.

"Yeah, I'm good," Undyne smiled a large toothy grin at the turtle. There were still going to be arguments between them, that was sure. But based on what she knew from the stories Sans told and what Gerson said, Undyne becomes more reasonable once she has released her anger.

If that is so, then the meeting they will soon have should run smoother with that out of the way.

\---

“Sir.”

A strange voice interrupted his dreamless sleep, and it took a moment for him to work things out in his mind. He remembered which timeline he was in, and the current situation. He was alone, though only currently. Toriel was alive, but had left to… do something. There was still a heavy fog clouding his thoughts. He struggled to remember what it was she said she had to go do, or anything really that was said.

As his thoughts cleared, he remembered Tori wanted him to continue sleeping while she went off to take care of… she never said. He remembered wanting to go with her, but she insisted on going alone. If his memory serves him right, she even held him down and did what she could to cause him to fall asleep. She used his tiredness to her advantage. Had he been more awake, he would have asked more questions, but instead, he just let her lull him to sleep without much fight.

Was he really that easy to manipulate? For Tori, he is. Papyrus possibly could have, but it was not in his bro’s nature. Normally, he would be upset by this revelation, but thinking about it, he really didn’t mind. If it is just Tori, having her knowing his weaknesses shouldn’t be a problem, she wasn’t the type to make them public. Some of his weaknesses already were well known, but they were basic. At MTT's resort, he has joked about how he sleeps too much, is lazy, and, over all, unhealthy. But none of that was like what she knows. If he was honest with himself, he preferred it this way. There was still so much he kept hidden, but it was nice to have someone he didn't have to feel so reserved with.

“Sir, Lady Toriel requested I wake you when your food arrived," the stranger said, reminding him that there was someone other than himself in the room.

Sans sat up, rubbing his eye sockets. If he was remembering right, Tori did ask him to “be nice." Well, he’ll try, for her.

... Grillby was right...

“thanks,” that’s a good start, right? He figured so, even if his tone of voice didn't really sound thankful.

“She had also asked that your things be brought to you. I placed them here on the nightstand.”

Looking beside him, he saw the small bundle of clothing and his slippers. Relief eased the ‘on edge’ feeling he was having with the guard being around. Go figure Undyne wouldn't have any actual 'room serves,' and has the guard doing everything. “sure, thanks again,” pockets, soon he’ll finally have pockets.

“Welcome, anything else?” The guard asked.

“no, i'm good,” Sans replied with a shrug.

“I'll be just outside,” the guard said, and finally left Sans alone in the room.

Collecting his things, double checking to making sure he had everything, Sans got up. He made his way to the bathroom, but stopped to look at the food. Perhaps he should eat something? He wasn’t hungry, but the food looks better than what mess he was offered before. It would be wrong to let it go to waste. Not that magic food spoils or anything like that, but it does taste better fresh.

Giving in, he sat down, setting is clothes to the side, and started to eat. Once he started, he found himself eating more than he thought he would, but not up to his normal standard. A few days of normal food should fix that. His only regret eating that much was it left him feeling sick and weighed down. The magic the food was made of was far richer than what he’s had recently, and his body wasn’t quite ready for that much so soon.

He should be fine in the end. His body needed food with more magic in it; and, as soon the new magic can be properly distributed, he would feel better. It would just take time for his body to readjust.

Once done, he finally entered the bathroom and took the time for a quick wash before getting dressed. Once his hoodie was on, he savored the sensation of his hands sliding into his pockets. It invoked a feeling of safety, like being hidden away from anything that may try to harm him. Between Tori’s hugs and his pockets, the hugs win in the overall protected feeling. But still, this was a close runner up, plus, it’s just what he is used to for most of his life.

Looking in the mirror, he could see how exhausted he was. Well, he felt that way, so this was no new discovery; but, now he can see it was more than just a feeling. At least he can stand straight, so that’s something. He chuckled, noticing that was a "Papyrus" thought, and wished his brother was here to say that to him.

Rubbing his eye sockets, he yawned, trying to force out the want to sleep now that he feels more like himself. Opening the door, he looked out into the main room but froze. Something shiny and rectangular was there, on the nightstand. It was something he really didn’t want to see right now, or think about. Closing the door, putting it between himself and that thing, he felt himself shaking. Pressing his forehead against the door, the thought back to when he grabbed his clothes. Was the present there?

No. He would have seen it. All his things came with him. He even double checked. There was nothing other than his clothes and slippers. Did someone sneak in while he was distracted in the bathroom? That was the only thing that made sense, but why would someone do that? But then, why would anyone be doing this at all other than to get at him in some sort of psychological way?

Maybe he was just seeing things? He was still tired and feeling very stressed. Closing his eye sockets, he tried to calm down before reopening the door a crack and looking out.

No, that was definitely the gift he has yet to open. It was just sitting there on the night stand, as if waiting for him. Again, he closed the door before sitting down and using it to lean.  His hands couldn’t go any deeper into his pockets, yet they still tried to seek refuge.

He wanted so badly to know what was in the gift, but he had a sickening feeling he already knew. Who it's from is something else he wanted to know. Was it Undyne? This really didn't feel like her, and after some sleep, he felt almost certain she wasn't the culprit. But, that doesn't answer who else would have the knowledge to do this. After all, how many people could Papyrus talk to about the special wrapping paper with?

Well, it was Papyrus, it was likely he talked to a few people about it.

This was no time for a meltdown. Toriel needed him, but he felt trapped in his own fears. It was just a gift, a cruel one, but it couldn’t hurt him… physically. Taking a deep breath, he stood and opened the door again, this time avoiding looking at the stand before quickly exiting the room. He’ll deal with it later… he should know what is in there, but not before this meeting.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway, The Door has almost been up a whole year! It was first posted on Tumblr on August 27, 2016! I can't believe it has almost been a year... I can tell my writing has improved since then. And I'm surprised so many of you still follow me, but I thank you for doing so, and all the encouragement I have received.


	12. And All Was Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know anymore... Stuff, a lot of talking and a gift was opened. I need a nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dedicating this chapter to two of my readers: Katie, Perry
> 
> (They helped me come up with the title months ago. They had no idea what was going on in the chapter. And yes, I put their names in that order for a reason.)
> 
> By the way, sorry this took so long to get done. Life, I tell ya... Anyway, I've joined a Soriel Discord server, so you can sometimes find me there, along with my [Tumblr](https://topazshadowwolf.tumblr.com/), if you ever want to chat. If you want to join, you can ask me on my Tumblr for an invite, though you need to not be anon so I can reply back privately.

_He was either late or unable to come tonight. She sighed, accepting the fact that her friend could not always be here. After all, he has his jobs, his brother, and his friends to occupy his time. She had asked about hobbies and he just laughed then said napping, though she felt there was more than that._

_Over time she had started figuring out what she may, or may not, need to be comfortable down by the door. She brought a book, her journal, a pillow to sit on and a blanket to keep herself warm. When she asked her friend, if he brought anything, he just said himself. Thinking back, she chuckled lightly as she remembered how she started chiding him for sitting out in the cold snow for such a long time. Her friend took her mothering well, as he had laughed and said the cold never bothers him._

_With her ‘creature comforts,’ she found herself perfectly fine waiting until he arrives. Though, she had to admit, it was starting to get late. By now he would have to read to his brother and will most likely not be coming tonight. It would be their first time not meeting since this all started. While she wasn’t upset, she couldn’t help but worry about his well-being._

_She marked her page, closed the book, and was about to stand when she heard a noise on the other side. Listening carefully, she furrowed her brow, unsure if it was her friend or not; the footsteps didn’t sound like his. But then there was a knock followed by the voice she knew, “knock knock.”_

_“Who’s there,” she replied with a smile._

_“mikey.”_

_“Mikey who?”_

_“mikey doesn’t fit in the lock.”_

_Toriel laughed and she heard him chuckle. Before she could offer a joke in exchange he spoke up, “i’m, uh, sorry, lost track of time. and… heh, well, i’m not really in the best condition for this?”_

_“What do you mean?” She asked, “Are you hurt?”_

_“oh, no, lady, nothing like that. just, uh, little, somewhat, kinda... really drunk…”_

_“Oh,” she was surprised at how well he was speaking despite being inebriated. Honestly, she wouldn’t have guessed by his manner of speech alone._

_“yeah… papy is out for the night with undyne and i decided to have a drink with some folks. which turned into more than one. grillbz cut me off and, uh… i started home and remembered you when i saw the front door. was actually hoping you gave up waiting for my sorry aaaaa- self. so, ... sorry.”_

_“No, it’s alright, I understand that can happen,” she replied, “Though I am worried, drinking and being out in the cold is not good for you.”_

_He laughed, to her annoyance, “don’t worry, i’m fine… ah damn. So many puns i want to say, but they’d give what i am away.” He then snorted and laughed again, “sweet, that rhymed… anyway, everyone says i’m annoying to be around when drunk because i talk gibberish like this. Tend to go off on tangents that they don’t understand, even though i simplify it. granted, it is theoretical science mostly, but it really isn’t a hard concept when you think about it. but then, it would be easier if they remembered…,” there was a heaviness in his voice, “i really don’t like having to re-explain things.”_

_With how random and talkative he seems to be, she was starting to agree with the drunk assessment. But that last sentence and the tone of voice caused her to worry, “Friend, are you okay?”_

_“ok? yeah, i’m ok. been ok and always will be ok because that’s what i will always tell ‘em.” she could hear him muttering something before he spoke up again, “sorry, i’m just a mess right now, i should go.”_

_She imaged a figure walking into a dark, empty house, alone. Already, what she heard him say was enough for her to feel that was not going to be the right thing for him. He sounded lonely, hurt, and in his current state, his thoughts seemed dark, “maybe you should stay a while longer?”_

_“feeling lonely?”_

_“Actually, I’m more worried about you being lonely tonight.”_

_“knock knock”_

_She shook her head, he was deflecting again. If he was sober she would tell him that, but right now she doubted he would comprehend that, “who’s there”_

_“al”_

_“Al who?”_

_“al give you a kiss if you open the door,” to her surprise, there was a slight seductive purr in his voice._

_Toriel was shocked by that and felt a little heat crawl into her face. Clearly, he must be joking and here she was getting fluttered over it. Shaking her head, she couldn’t help but laugh, “No you wouldn’t.”_

_“yes, i would,” he sounded a little insulted._

_“No, you wouldn’t. You openly confessed to me the other day that you have no idea what to do in a romantic situation. Besides, I’m most likely old enough to be your great grandmother.”_

_There was a pause, then a dry chuckle, “yea, you’re right… but not on the old thing, i don’t buy that. y’sound too young to be that old.”_

_“Well, I am,” she sighed, “but, at least, we can agree that if I were to open this door, you’d most likely freeze up and I’d be the one kissing you, not the other way around?”_

_He was quiet, she could hear him shift his position a little as he made one soft, “heh.”_

_“Well, i think that answers that,” she said with a laugh, “still, I wish you weren’t alone tonight.”_

_“i’d stay, but… uh, yea, i’m really hard to be around like this,” his voice wavered a little._

_“I think i should be the judge of that,” she then added softly, “besides, you are my friend and I know you’re not your full-self right now.”_

_He was quiet, thinking, “what if i say something, y’know, something mean or rude. Next to my brother, you’re my best friend. i... i don't want to do that to you…”_

_“It will be alright,” she smiled, hoping her tone carried reassurance. From the other side she could hear sniffling, “friend, are you alright?” she inquired._

_“uh, y-yea,” his voice was wavering again and he cleared his throat, “there’s a blanket at my station, not that I need it, but, uh, i know you worry, so i’ll go get it. be right back.”_

_“Okay, I’m going to go get something as well,” she said, and they both parted ways. Toriel went upstairs and grabbed the log from her fire place. She brought it back down and set it by the door before lighting it with her fire magic. Never had she done this, but she felt her fire magic should be strong enough to leak heat out through the door._

_As she worked on it she heard her friend return, with a yawn. Before he could say anything, she greeted him with a, “welcome back.”_

_“thanks,” he replied._

_“When you sit, sit so you can lean by the crack between the two doors,” she urged._

_“ok,” she heard him move and then sit down. There was a pause and then she heard him shifting around, “s’warm.”_

_“Good, I was hoping it would be,” she smiled. He sounded tired and she decided to grab her book, “Feel free to rest if you want, I’m here still if you want to talk.”_

_They sat in silence for a while, but it was interrupted by a sound. It was muffled, and hard to hear, but it sounded like he was crying, “friend?”_

_There was a sniff and a hasty clearing of his throat, “i’m fine.” His voice was weak, choked up, confirming what she thought she heard._

_“No, you’re not, you’re crying, what is wrong?”_

_“we’ve done this before,” he exhaled a shuttering sigh, “we’ve done all of this before. i didn’t notice until now... that this was something i remember doing.”_

_“That’s not true. For starters, you never showed up at this door drunk before.”_

_“heh, yes i have, you just don’t remember. no one remembers. and when i explain it to them they either think i’m crazy or they believe me. doesn't matter either way, since they forget again when it gets reset. you believed me before, or at least said you did, and told me you would try to remember. well?”_

_He waited for a response, a slight eagerness was hidden in his jaded tone. What he was saying made no sense, and she didn’t know what to say. From what she could tell, this was clearly the first time they were doing this. And she has no memories of telling him she would remember something like this. The whole idea of them doing the same thing before was new, unheard of._

_There was a long shuddering sigh before he said, quietly, “yea, don’t worry, you’re not the only one... sorry, i’ll sleep now.”_

 

* * *

 

Walking down the hall, hands in pockets, Sans opted out of taking a short cut. Sure, it would have gotten him there faster; and, yeah, it would take less effort. But, all things considered, he was still too exhausted to concentrate on where he wanted to go. Short cuts aren't something you can cut corners on. As tempting as it would be to try, he didn't want to risk getting stuck somewhere in between where he was and where he was going. Something that could occur if he lost sight of the destination or his magic became depleted.

So, no matter how annoying, boring, or physically taxing walking was, he figured it was best to play it on the safe side. Besides, he may want to take a short cut back to the room after, and decided to save his magic for that. At least he's been around the castle enough to know where to go without his shortcuts. Some of those memories are from when he was a kid, teen, or young adult. He's not sure which, just that these fragments of his past let him know which hall was which. As to what happened in the memories, he can't remember more than just walking through these halls once before.

This broken up personal history used to bother him, but not anymore. Especially since the rest of his memories became muddled with different timelines. After so many years, it just became a way of life. The only place he didn't experience this, to the same extent, was in the Ruins with Toriel. It felt odd at first, but he found that it was enjoyable. He figured it was because the only time he had been in the ruins was this and a few other timelines. So, messed up memories of his past weren't included.

As he neared the throne room he spotted a familiar yellow monster and grinned, "hey al."

Alphys turned and looked at him with a hesitant smile, if you could call that a smile. She looked like she was about to wring her scales off her hands, and her expression looked as secure about the situation as an old, wobbly ladder on a pile of unstable rocks. Still, she offered a, "O-oh, hello Sans. You... uh, l-look a bit better." She needed to relax badly. The meeting hasn't even started, and she was ready to jump out of her scales.

"yeah, guess i was just _bone-tired_ before," he ignored her sigh, "amazing what a little shut eye can do for someone _sans_ eyes."

Alphys snorted, "That one was t-terrible."

"is that so?" Sans closed his sockets and shrugged, "guess i left my funny bone back in bed."

"Sans," Alphys mock glared.

"just not that _humerus_ without it," he winked.

"S-Sans! That one is so old. I th-think it was one of the f-first puns you told me," Alphys folded her arms.

"huh, guess i'm-," he started.

Alphys threw her hands up, "Y-yes, I know, you're too m-much of a _numbskull_ to think of something new.'' She then paused and groaned while putting her hands over her face. Sans's grin widened and he started chuckling as Alphys's hands slowly slid down to uncover her eyes, "I can't believe you got me to say that!"

"you can't blame me," he shrugged again, grinning so wide that his cheek bones were starting to hurt.

"Y-yes, I can!" Alphys snapped while giving him a shove. Sans laughed as he was forced to side step; but, even with her annoyance, she didn't look angry or anxious.

It was nice to see Alphys more relaxed. Content he did his duties as a friend, he shrugged, "alright, fine, i'll stop."

Alphys sighed and started walking toward the throne room, Sans kept pace with her. Some of the anxiety was returning to Alphys's face, but not the amount she wore before. Sans didn't blame her, he was also feeling there were many other things he would rather be doing than this. Unlike Alphys, Sans didn't wear his feelings out in the open. Instead, he wore a calm smile that fooled most into thinking nothing bothered him. The same neutral smile he had worn for years, one that Toriel has somehow learned to look past.

"Are you r-ready for this," Alphys asked, the throne room door now in sight.

"nope," Sans admitted.

"Yeah...," Alphys sighed.

Sans stopped walking and placed a hand on Alphys's shoulder to get her attention out of ear shot of the guard. "how much does she know?" Sans asked, hoping to have some control of the situation.

"T-Toriel?" Alphys asked, even though she was fully aware of who he meant. She fidgeted, hinting that she was feeling a bit guilty; for what, he wasn't sure, but he could guess. "I-I'm not sure, r-really," she finally said, after getting a simple nod from Sans, "If I h-had to g-guess, she s-suspects more than she let on."

That didn't sit well with Sans. He didn't like surprises as they never seem to work out will for him. Well, except for recently, there have been some surprises that turned out to be good. But those felt rare or just flukes. Putting his hand back in his pocket, he grinned. "alright, thanks, al," Sans said and he started towards the throne room doors.

Behind him he heard the patter of Alphys's feet and he slowed his pace to let her catch up. The doors opened and the guards let them in, announcing their arrival. As he figured, Toriel and Undyne were already there. Gerson was in the room as well, seated at the table, with a cup of tea and laughing at something Toriel had finished saying as Alphys and Sans walked in. What Sans wasn't expecting to see was Toriel standing beside Undyne, green healing magic dancing like flames from her paws and surrounding the fish monster. He stopped, watching the beautiful scene with a feeling of confusion and frustration.

What did he sleep through?

"Well, now that they are here, I'll take my leave," Sans didn't need to look to know Gerson said that. Sans knew many voices in the underground, and this one is one of the most recognizable. The unmistakable laugh of Gerson that followed verified that belief. Which is good, because he couldn't take his sockets off what was occurring before him.

No, that was rude, the old turtle, and war hero, deserved more courtesy than that. Sans turned his head to look at the old turtle, "hey there, gerson. been doing well?"

"Business has been better now that you aren't pranking my customers," Gerson said. Again, he laughed while he heartily patted Sans on the back.  "Patted" is an understatement, as the action nearly pushed the small skeleton over. "But, not as amusing. Things have been too quiet in Waterfall without you or Undyne causing trouble."

Sans just glanced away and laughed, happy he could stay upright, "ah, yes, that was good times."

As Gerson passed Alphys, Sans watched him put a hand on her shoulder and give her a quiet look. Even with one eye, it was clear to see the respect he was offering her. There was sympathy, but not pity, when he spoke, "You tried."

Gerson then left, Undyne calling after him some goodbye, but Sans wasn't paying attention as he looked over at Alphys. The short, yellow monster was looking away, wringing her hands again. Sans considered asking her later what that was about, if it doesn't come up any time before then. Though he had a feeling he knew. It only took him a few trips to the lab to borrow supplies to find out what she had been doing, and the result of those experiments. Although he had helped her out, and kept the secret, it was only a matter of time before the rest of the underground knew.

Before he could turn back around, Tori had Sans wrapped in her arms, "My dear one, I'm happy you are here. Again, I am so sorry that I left you this morning."

"eh, i needed the sleep. thanks, tori," Sans leaned into her hug, enjoying the feel of her warm embrace.

"Shall be begin this meeting?" Undyne interrupted.

At that moment, the last thing Sans wanted to do was let go, and yet, testing Undyne seemed ill advised. Carefully, he freed himself from Tori and smiled at her. Like a cloth soaking up water, dread about what would soon be discussed slowly filled his soul. He had no idea if he felt temperature like other monsters, and he had never really felt the cold the same way most monsters describe it; but in that moment, he felt like he was freezing. This is not how he wanted to discuss this. With no other option, he will have to try to make the best of the situation, and know that what he had might soon end.

He will have to pick his words carefully, from here on out.

 

* * *

 

Toriel took Sans's hand, and they walked together to a long table. Undyne sat at the head of the table; which, as the current leader, was her right. The fish monster called to the scientist, insisting that Alphys sat at her right, a seat commonly reserved for trusted advisors. Considering Alphys's role, and the way Undyne treated her, this didn't feel unexpected at all. Though, Toriel couldn't help but wonder, if Gerson had stayed, would he have that seat?

On her left side were two chairs, Sans and Toriel each took one, Sans taking the one between the herself and Undyne. She didn't mind the space between her and the Empress. The two might have handled a good amount of their aggression towards each other with the fight, but there was still lingering frustration. Still, she felt on edge having Sans so close to the one who had harmed him.

Distracting her mind, she looked across the table at Alphys, and saw the notebooks that had been a source of great concern of hers. Glancing over at Sans, she could see him staring at the books, eyes void of light. Even his expression was void of anything. He looked more like a human skeleton sitting there than his normal self. That look sent a shiver through her, and she wanted to do something to get him to react.

The meeting had started with Undyne thanking them for coming, and saying she wants to get down to the bottom of whatever mystery this "anomaly" was, for the good for the kingdom. The only action Sans had done since Undyne started talking was lean back in his chair, hands shoved in his pockets. She wouldn't be surprised if he was somewhere, other than here, in his mind. As much as she would hate to give him away, at the same time, he needed to be a part of this meeting with them, otherwise it won’t get very far.

"Sans?" Toriel whispered as she tried ushering him back from where ever he was.

Unfortunately, he didn't respond and Undyne caught on. The warrior set her eye on him, a look of annoyance passing over her face, along with a grimace that said "Of course." "Hey, Sans!" Undyne snapped, but still nothing from the skeleton. Gritting her teeth, the fish monster slammed her hands on the table, making everyone, even Toriel, jump slightly. "NGAHHHH!" She bellowed placing a foot on the table, spear in hand. "SANS! PAY ATTENTION!"

Some beads of magical sweat appeared on his skull and he chuckled, "sorry, i guess you can say i'm a little _empty headed_ today."

He may have been turned away, but Toriel could guess his expression. The laid-back grin with a wink, most likely. Whether it was or not, Undyne glared back, "Just stay focused."

Sans shrugged, "i'll try." Toriel could hear a dullness to his tone that was something other than tiredness. It was a sound she had heard in his voice before, the first being back when they were talking through the doors to the ruins. That tone had slowly worked its way into his manner of speech more each day. It had been a while since she had heard it, and now it caused her soul to ache like it did when she first heard it.

“Sans, are you alright? Maybe I should have let you sleep longer,” Toriel offered a chance for him to back out. If he wasn't ready for this, she didn’t want to force him.

He turned and looked at her, and she could see the apprehension in his smile. Still, he tried offering her a comforting look, “it’s ok, tori." He then glanced over at the notebooks before looking back at her. He was smiling, but she knew it was for her peace of mind, not his. “i, uh, was thinking about stuff. Anyway, what's first?”

"You and Alphys were talking about this other thing, and it sounded like a worse threat than the bra-” Undyne stopped and looked in Toriel’s direction, “human was. Then you said that it was still here, in the Underground, with us. Is that true?”

“yes,” Sans leaned forward and reached for one of the notebooks, his arm wasn’t that long but Alphys pushed it closer to him so he could grab it, “the anomaly is as trapped down here as we are, and it’s alive. well, as far as i know, it is.”

“That word you keep calling it,” Undyne leaned back, watching him as he flipped through the pages, “why?”

“because, it isn’t a monster, human, or anything natural. the kid had an anomaly attached to them too, in theory. through the kid’s determination, and access to the anomaly, they could reset the time lines. the first anomaly, the one in question… well… it had determination too,” He glanced up at Alphys then back at the notebook.

“So, it is determination that allows them to reset?” Toriel asked

Sans thought for a moment, “kinda, i mean, the other humans had determination too, but it is unknown if they could, and just lacked the knowledge to, reset of if they couldn't at all. something about the kid all just lined up, or maybe they just had the right amount of dt, while the others didn’t. but, it is unknown if they had reset and just gave up after losing to asgore.”

Undyne frowned, and while Toriel was curious herself, the louder monster beat her to asking, “DT?”

Before Sans could say anything Alphys spoke up, “I-it’s the abbreviation for d-determination. DT was u-used in the old notes in the l-lab. It was used by the, um, previous Royal Scientist and s-staff.”

“Oh," Undyne paused to think, then looked at Sans, "How do you know that?"

Sans shrugged, "i have been around the lab a few times. helped al here and there. i saw it in the notes."

“I... didn't think I-I left any notes l-like that out that you c-could h-have seen," Alphas said quietly.

“found it while poking around," Sans rubbed the back of his head. He then shoved his hand in his pockets again, returning to the closed off look, "guess i'm sorry, if you were meaning to hide it."

"B-but... Sans... a lot of those notes are, well, d-difficult to read. Unless y-you have prior knowledge... o-of the s-subject that is," Alphys frowned, staring straight at Sans. She seemed set on proving something, but all Sans did was shrug.

"Paps did say he was into science, Al. I'm sure he read up on it somewhere," Undyne offered.

"science fiction," Sans tried to correct.

Toriel was about to offer her own agreement, knowing Sans has displayed knowledge in various fields of science that would be plausible for anyone interested to know. But Alphys wasn't going to wait; nor, was she going to let up. "U-Undyne, what's in those n-notes is not," the scientist waved her hands around, trying to think of the words she wanted, "it's... it's not stuff y-you would learn i-in a book or c-college classes. D-DT research i-is -- was -- highly c-classified."

Toriel looked over at Sans who simply shrugged, she could tell he was thinking, debating. Sans looked at her and they made eye contact. He finally sighed and looked away, pulling his left hand free to rub his tired eye sockets.

“Anomaly, DT, his science puns… It's like you pretend to be some dumb comedian, but that’s just an act, isn’t it?” Undyne frowned.

Sans looked over at Undyne, “yes, i used to work directly under the royal scientist, the one prior to alphys. among the experiments i took part in was the dt ones. they weren’t my favorite as they were outside my personal interests, but it was the experiments king asgore was funding us to do. just as he paid you to continue the work when you became royal scientist.” He looked at Alphys who shrank back.

What Toriel heard surprised her, and yet, it didn't feel like it should be a surprise. Sans has proven he is smart and knowledgeable in various fields of science. There were many questions she had, but all of which could be asked later. One though, stuck out, due to Alphys's reaction. “What were these… DT experiments?” Toriel asked.

He pushed the notebook back and put his elbows on the table, rubbing his head, “i don’t remember everything we tried. but essentially the goal was to harness dt to bring down the barrier since it was believed, at the time, that it was dt alone that made humans so much stronger than us.” He then looked at Alphys, then Toriel, “i’ll amend that. it is still the common belief that determination is what makes humans so strong. but i personally question that. i just think it makes them so stubborn.”

“So, experiments with 'DT.' Is that how this 'thing' that you're worried about got its determination?” Undyne asked, looking at Alphys.

“Y-yes, I was, um, testing to see, uh, i-if it was p-possible to m-make a, uh, f-false human soul? I w-was injecting d-determination i-into soulless v-vessels,” Alphys said, she looked apologetic, as if she had done something wrong. Perhaps she had, after all, where had she gotten the determination to work with?

"Soulless vessels?" Toriel asked, hoping for clarification.

Alphys fidgeted with her hands a bit and the answer to Toriel's question came from Sans. He sighed, "flowers, she used some golden flowers." His eye sockets darkened for a moment before he said, "like the ones you visit in the ruins."

"Y-yes," Alphys mumbled.

"and one started talking," Sans continued, to which Alphys nodded in agreement, "since asgore likes flowers, she tried gifting it to him, but it disappeared."

"And?" Undyne glared at Sans, "What about the 'thing' we are supposed to be worried about."

"i really don't know if it is really something to be worried about, but it's the flower," Sans said as he stared at the notebook before him.

Toriel put a paw to her mouth as she thought. She remembered seeing an odd talking flower with the human child. It tried to kill the youth, and would have had she not arrived. If that was the same flower, and she had no reason to think what Sans said was a lie, then is that could be why he started acting the way he did? Why he suddenly stopped wanting to be anywhere near the flowers? And could that also explain why he started becoming hyper-vigilant in that room?

“A flower? You’re scared of a flower?!” Undyne laughed heartily.

Toriel narrowed her eyes as she looked at Undyne, "I'm sure they have ample reason to fear this... flower." She looked over at, Sans who flipped through the notebook.

Finding an entry, he wanted, he stopped at the page and started to read, “the anomaly is clearly experimenting with information it has gained via previous timelines. i believe it used to have issues dealing with undyne, but now it seems like she is nothing more than an amusing toy. my guess is the anomaly finds her predictable. none too surprising as all of us become predictable over time.”

Everyone's attention turned back to Undyne when they heard a ‘thump’ from the warrior slamming her fist on the table, “How can we believe that really happened!”

Turning a few pages, he found another one, “of all people to team up with, i find myself working with undyne against the anomaly. one would think our fighting styles would not coalesce; yet, i must say, i was rather impressed with our combined strength. regardless, i saw her die as i fell to dust.” He flipped through, “there is more, lots more.” His eye lights dimmed, “and they aren’t the worst. heh, haven't had a chance to write those down yet... don't really care to, either.”

Sans seemed lost in a dark place in his mind again, and Toriel reached over, placing a paw on his skull. He looked down and away, hiding his expression from her. "tori, i...," he said quietly, and the heaviness in his tone tugged at her emotions. "i have more to say and wish you would wait."

"Sans?" Toriel hesitated and took her paw away.

"you might... well," Sans sighed. He looked over at Undyne, "the flower is not just a plant, there really is no reason not to expect it to be anywhere at any time. and it can put up a good fight. though, it's main weapon was resetting, which, as far as i can tell, it can no longer do."

"B-because the h-human beat it in d-determination?" Alphys asked, and Sans simply nodded in response.

They continued to talk, but Toriel could hardly focus, after being asked to not comfort him. Why? Why had he asked her to back away? What did he need to say that she should wait for and why wasn't he saying it?

"i understood that the anomaly found out how to win against me. so i had trouble caring unless Pap was involved,” Sans still hadn't looked at her, keeping his attention on Undyne and Alphys.

Sans was either scared or ashamed, maybe both, considering how he has behaved in the past. He was acting relaxed for the others in the room, but Toriel could see past this false look of calm. What she saw was the broken monster within. She had seen him before, the real him, unhidden by the guise of happiness, in her house. That monster had been healing, mending under her care, and now it was if he was right where he started. Frustrated she clenched her paws into fists. For a while longer, she will wait. But he needed something, anything, to know he was not alone.

“and before you say that wouldn’t happen to you," Sans said, looking at Undyne, "i’m not you and you’re not me. just be happy you haven’t been tested.” He then closed the notebook and shrugged, “so, when the kid showed up i treated them differently. tori’s promise it made it easier to just face the kid if it meant that the timelines would all end if i didn’t. after all, if they end it all, then there are no resets, and no chances to have pap live happy. my goal was simple, keep the kid interested or... if they decided to destroy everything, i'd keep them from progressing forward until they give up. then hope they reset and try a different path."

"Did they?" Undyne asked, frowning.

"choose to destroy everything? yeah, they did. and i did what i could to stop them. in truth, i doubted i would win. sure, i could beat them over and over again, but they would figure me out and win. so, i just did my best to make it difficult for them. hoping that maybe, just maybe, they would give up trying. i could tell by their expression that they were frustrated that i stood in their way. that i,” finally, he looked over at Toriel. There was a hesitant look on his face, one that looked worried and sorry, “i broke the promise to tori, and kept killing them.”

At the moment, she didn't know what to say. Toriel sat there, taking this information in. Her child, killed... but... But, the idea seemed unreal. She had started to suspect it, though. The vague hints of memories of events that didn't happen, and what information she already had pointed to things not being as she first assumed.

"Well, yeah, you broke that promise. But that's because they would've killed all the monsters, right?" Undyne reasoned.

"not just monsters, undyne. everyone. everything. according to the reports, they would have destroyed everything if they succeeded," Sans said, which sent a chill up Toriel's spine.

 

_Toriel felt pain on her cheek, the child she thought was innocent stood before her, weapon in hand. They had attacked her, with no mercy or consideration. There was nothing but murderous desire in the attack that was now turning her body to dust. Shocked, she struggled to speak, "Y... you... really hate me that much? Now I see who I was protecting by keeping you here. Not you... But them! Ha... ha..."_

 

"T-Toriel?" Alphys stood up, a startled look on her face.

Looking at the others, Toriel could see they were all concerned about her. Sans was holding her right paw, so she used her left to support her head. A new, nagging headache bothered her as she tried to think about where that memory came from. That child... was that her child? The one she thought she needed to watch after and care for?

The one who killed Papyrus...

The one who, if what Sans said is true, tried to destroy everything...

The one her dear one just apologized for trying to stop because he killed them in the process.

Sans was watching her, waiting to see how she would respond, and as angry as a part of her wanted to be, another knew he did his best. In this timeline, he sacrificed his brother for her promise, a sacrifice that never should have happened. Was it fair to judge him on the behaviors of a Sans, in a different timeline, who was trapped in a dying world, fighting to save what he could? If she was in the same situation, would she have the strength to fight?

She looked at him and he started to move his hand away. Without thought, she grabbed his hand, holding it tight. "I understand," she said, unsteadily, "I... I'm not happy the promise was broken; but, I understand why."

Undyne sighed and shook her head, "Moving on, what about the kid. You got them to give up, right? Since the world is all still here."

The words she saw in the notebook came back, haunting the back of her mind. "the brat killed me and came back to kill me again." She remembered how it was hastily scrawled compared to the rest of his lazy looking writing style. It was clear he didn't want to think about it. Just write it and let it be forgotten. And how he acted that night she had startled him awake by spilling red wine on him. "just let me die in peace," he had said as if it was a simple request he had made before. That calm resignation and acceptance of his death as if the idea of dying had been trained into him as something he should just accept.

"naw, in the end, they killed me. i don’t know what stopped them after me; since, as you said, we are still here. they must’ve failed somehow.”

Having heard enough, and having left him alone to sit there talking for longer than she wanted, Toriel reached out, grabbed him, and pulled him over to her lap. She leaned her head against his and closed her eyes. "You have hidden too much from me so not to upset me. But, at what cost? Perhaps, without everything I know now, I would have been angry. Once I learned the truth, how could I stay angry? You kept the promise the best that you could. You tried to do right by me, by everyone. I know you tried to keep the promise the best you could, and that is all that matters to me."

Undyne and Alphys let them have a moment, and Toriel was thankful for it. Since Toriel was holding Sans, with his back towards her, he couldn't hug her back, but she felt his hand petting her left ear. She could feel the subtle tremble of his hands, and the change of his steady breathing pattern. Knowing he liked the feel of her ears against his head, she made sure the left one stayed draped down along the side of his skull.

Undyne wasn't going to let them have too long to cuddle, and that was understandable. They were here for a reason; and, with how tired Sans still looked - and now that Toriel was holding him - Sans would soon be asleep. To get to the point Undyne interrupted, "And this dangerous flower? You said nothing happened to it?"

“other than losing the ability to reset, yeah,” Sans answered, his voice staying calm despite what Toriel could feel.

“So, it is still out there.”

“yup”

“And? what do we do?” Undyne snapped, causing Alphys to jump slightly.

Sans, most likely used to such random outbursts, shrugged, “why do we have to do anything?”

“Damn it, you are just a lazy good for nothing!” Undyne growled.

“happy you’re on the same page as the rest of us, undyne,” Sans said, sarcasm dripping off every word. He then yawned as he still petted the left ear.

“S-Sans, how long does it take for a r-reset?” Alphys interjected.

“the kid is done, they’ve seen all the potentials they want to see. they still hold the power to reset but they said they won’t… and i guess they were telling the truth because this seems to be the longest they’ve gone without resetting,” his voice sounded heavy in sorrow as he added, “so in the end i failed pap.” Toriel hugged Sans tighter in response to what he said.

"Back to this flower," Undyne looked thoughtful, “I get that it did all these horrible things, but for what?”

"it started as curiosity," Toriel felt Sans move as he shrugged, the full extent of the action hampered by her hold. "but, uh," he sighed, "it was clear we were just toys to it. a means to entertain itself."

Undyne’s face twitched, “So, to cure its boredom it goes out and murders people? And you just want to let it be?!”

“i just don’t see a need to hunt it down,” Sans shrugged again, "but maybe i've done that enough times that i'm just sick of it. the weed has no power, and it knows that. if it calls attention to itself, it runs the risk of dying and never coming back. so, why would it try its old tricks?"

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because it has been a while AND IT'S BORED?! I can't have that thing out there, thinking that it's okay to mess with, OR KILL, monsters,” Undyne yelled, slamming both hands on the table.

"Sans, dear, I am inclined to agree with Undyne on the matter. We should At least know where it is, and what it intends to do," Toriel added while she looked down at him then across to Alphys, "Do either of you have any ideas of where it might be? That must have been it, what I saw in the Ruins with the human, perhaps it is still there?"

"it could, or it could not. it's root system runs everywhere, so it could be anywhere," Sans explained.

Undyne rubbed her head and stood, looking ready to punch something, "So, we have a murderer running lose, and is capable of being anywhere?"

“well, as far as i know, it hasn’t killed anyone in this timeline ye-,” there was a small pause, a hiccup in his speech. Easy to ignore as he quickly finished with a, “et,” but Toriel heard this change. It was not unlike the times he remembered something when talking to her at the door.

Tilting her head, she questioned, “Sans?”

Understanding her reaction, Undyne again slammed her hands down on the table. From the way she was glowering, Toriel thought Undyne looked about ready to flip the table, “Sans! Who did the flower kill?”

“The f-flower killed someone?” Alphys squeaked, catching on.

If there was a moment in this meeting that she would suspect Sans would try leaving, it would be this one. Toriel could feel him tense in her arms, and she could sense him trying to close himself off. Had she not been holding him, chances are he would have found some excuse to take a short cut out of here. Her dear skeleton friend held to his secrets and seemed to fear parting with them. "Please, Sans," she said before nuzzling the back of his skull. As she suspected, the action melted the tension.

She heard him softly mutter, "not fair, t." A smile wanted to cross her face, but concern for her love, what she will hear, and the future, held it back. Still, it was a relief when Sans finally spoke up, “asgore. the kid fought the king and was sparing him when the weed finished him off.”

“Why didn’t you stop the flower?” Undyne snarled.

“because the kid wanted to spare it. which would mean, even if i did jump in, it would all be reset and what i did would mean nothing. and, i can fight the flower as it is, sure, but with six human souls in it, that’s a different story,” Sans replied, sounding defeated in the end.

“It has t-the souls?” Alphys was shocked.

“had, the kid beat it and they just… disappeared,” Sans shrugged.

The chair Undyne had been using fell over as Undyne kicked it out of the way. The Empress formed a spear in her right hand and started for the door, her one eye full of anger. Sans watched her, and said, “undyne, if it doesn't want to be found, you're not going to find it."

The fish monster glared at Sans, and Toriel couldn't help but glare back as she said, "While I feel we should look, we may wish to consult with those who know this flower first."

"You can, but I'm not going to wait around," Undyne snorted then looked at Sans, "What's the worst this flower can do?"

“what?” Sans sounded surprised by that question.

“I want you to think of the worst thing it could possibly do that it hasn’t done yet. Then I want you to consider that if you thought of it so did it. And YOU are giving it time to plot,” Undyne then marched out of the throne room, leaving the space in an eerie silence.

Alphys spoke up quietly, hesitant as if unsure if she really wanted to know, “Um…, h-hypothetically, what would be the, erm, w-worst it could do?”

"the impossible…,” Sans said, flatly. The response wasn't what Toriel had expected, but it was telling enough. There was another pause, guessing by Alphys's expression, she had some ideas as to what this impossible thing might be. To top that off, she was sure she felt a shiver go up Sans's spine. Even though he didn't feel even remotely relaxed, his voice had a calm tone, “welp, it can’t do it no matter how much it plots or tries.”

“W-why do you say t-that?” Alphys asked.

“i’m tired al, and that is a long story. another time, alright?” Sans sighed, rubbing his ‘eye lids’ with his left hand.

"Only if you want, my dear. It seems like something no one really wants to think about, let alone talk about," Toriel interjected, trying to relieve some of his stress.

"heh, yeah," came his quiet reply.

"You should get some sleep," Toriel said, while finally releasing her hold, "I wanted to talk to Alphys for a bit, but if you are too tired, I will carry you back."

"it's alright tori, i have my short cuts," he said to her with a grin. He turned to hug her, and they sat there hugging each other before he said in a dark tone, "what happened to your ear?"

"Hmm?" Toriel asked. She felt Sans touch her right ear and a small wave of pain from where one of Undyne's spears had cut her. "Oh, that."

"yes, that, what happened?" his voice was still dark, hollow sounding even.

"Undyne and I had a little tiff, nothing to be concerned over. I'll heal it in a bit," Toriel said, trying to comfort him.

He didn't look convinced and was lightly touching around the cut on ear. Toriel could feel it, the small trace of him trying to heal her, but it’s clear that healing was not his magical forte. That, and his own magic must still be weak from everything that has happened recently. Kindly, she took his hand in her paw and held it as she smiled down at him. "It's alright. Nothing I can't heal shortly."

"you sure? i can just," Sans started to say.

"Yes," Toriel interrupted, "I am sure. You're exhausted, and should get some sleep."

There was a soft sound coming from across the table, it sounded like a muffled squeak of some sort. Glancing over, she saw Alphys was looking at them with an odd look on her face. It was unlike any she had seen before on the yellow monster, and it was rather hard for her to describe what it could possibly mean. The only thing Toriel could figure, is that Alphys was enjoying watching this tender moment between them. Sans straightened, and Toriel could feel him let go of her ear. Glancing back down at him, she saw him give Alphys a glare.

"Anyway, Sans, I won’t be too much longer. I'll meet you back in the room, alright?" Toriel said, giving him a nose nuzzle. Sure, they have an audience now, but she didn't care. It never stopped her when she was with Asgore, why should it now that she had a new love? Sans did seem more reserved about his displays of affection, but that only meant she got to see the occasional embarrassed reaction. That, on its own, was a treat to her.

Right on cue, after the nuzzle, she could see that faint hint of magic on his cheek bones as he looked at her with this half loving, half worried expression. His eye lights are far larger than they are normally as he looks at her, clearly trying to take her all in. And that classic mask of a smile had slipped slightly into and awkward grin.

In some ways, Asgore was almost the same. He didn't get embarrassed like this, which is fine. He did have his own awkwardness though, which was adorable. At first, he seemed lost in the affection department. Willing, but just as confused on the process as Sans. But after a few good years, that changed, and already she can tell Sans was getting more comfortable with her acts. While she doubted he would be as interested in all the public displays of affection her previous partner enjoyed, she was fine with that. That was her and Asgore. Sans was different, his love was different. When he chose to show it, it was far sincerer than the smaller acts of love that Toriel and Asgore shared throughout the day. Not that Asgore loved her any less. He just split it up, and spread it out through the day, making it more casual in the long run.

Though, Sans holds it all back. Even now, as she heard Sans mutter softly that he would see her back in the room, she could feel him pulling back his magic. Hiding it. Secretive as always. Because of this, she noticed that he ends up letting his feelings and magic build up until he is a ball of emotions. Which, is pleasant in its own way for her; provided it was positive energy, and not the negative he also carries around.

As she watched him leave, she resolved to keep this quick, wanting to return to cuddling him as soon as possible.

 

* * *

 

Though he had time, Sans wanted to get back to the room and finally figure out what that gift was.

Why not? He was already in a rotten mood, might as well top it off with... that

Besides, he didn't want to walk all the way back. Once he rounded the corner, and was out of sight of the guard, he felt his magic swell up within himself as he stepped forward. In a soul beat, he was in the room he shared with Toriel at the castle. The effort left him light headed, as if his empty skull wasn't already light. He chuckled at that thought as he steadied himself.

Sure enough, the present was still there, waiting for him. The sight of it made his nonexistent stomach lurch, and he closed his eye sockets, took a deep breath, then walked over. Over and over, he reminded himself that it was silly to feel so afraid of this simple wrapped gift. Exhaling the breath, he picked it up and walked over to a chair to sit down.

 

_The room was filled with the smell of coffee and pine needles. It may have been an odd mix of smell to some, but for Sans, it was the smell of family, joy, and the holiday. The tree was decorated with a variety of things that vaguely hinted to the season, and could possibly be combustible. The figure sitting nearby, a shadow of what memory has forgotten, was important to both Sans and his younger brother. He, this shadow, was the source of the coffee smell, as he sipped from his mug while watching his children._

_Sans smiled over at the figure before handing over the first gift he had bought for his younger brother. The wrapping job was a sorry affair, but that wasn't what mattered now. Long hours of chores had gone into earning the money to pay for this simple gift._

_Little Papyrus, in classic Papyrus fashion, neatly unwrapped the gift. The wrapping paper could be reused with the amount of care he put into the process, except for all the wrinkles Sans put into it while wrapping the gift..._

 

He stared down at it for a moment before sliding a finger under a small gap where one end of the paper overlapped the other. With an odd amount of care, he tried to lift the tape without ripping the paper as much as possible. Once he started opening it, it just became easier to continue until finally the contents was exposed and in his hands.

 

_"WOWIE! PEEK-A-BOO WITH FLUFFY BUNNY," the little skeleton looked at his elder brother with magic sparkling in his eye sockets. Sans knew his little brother liked these books about Fluffy Bunny and his friends. When Sans saw the new book in the store he had to get it for his brother, and all the work to get it was worth it._

 

The old, well used cover of the book was more than recognizable. There was no mistaking this old book that he had read plenty of times, even after the story became repetitive for Sans. He always tried to be the patient and caring brother Papyrus deserved. Despite the fact they both could recite the story, word for word, both still insisted on using the book each night. They had switched it out a few times for a new book now and then, but it was the one they turned to when they had nothing else new, interesting, or good for bedtime.

His smile became taunt, as he ran his hand and fingers over the cover. Sans remembered where every bump, nick, and scratch came from. And just inside the hardcover was a story Papyrus had written as a child after the brothers had an argument. A story that the two would reread anytime they let anger get between them.

Staring straight ahead, Sans felt the world around himself fade. Other thoughts, memories, and sounds replaced reality.

 

* * *

 

"Thank you for opening up about all of that, Alphys," Toriel said, looking across the table at the scientist.

Alphys was still fidgeting, "T-Toriel, there is s-something else about th-those experiments that... y-you should know."

This surprised Toriel, "That I should know?"

Taking a deep breath, Alphys tried to calm down enough to speak. "U-Undyne knows," Alphys started, "a-and so does S-Sans. I-In fact, before I r-revealed the secret to Undyne, S-Sans helped me a-a lot."

That pleased Toriel to hear, and she couldn't help but smile. That caused Alphys to shift uneasily though, so Toriel tried not to "beam" so much. "I'm happy he was able to be a help to you. I do remember him talking about you."

"O-oh, um...," Alphys looked away, a very awkward look on her face. Toriel could have sworn she saw a little color in the yellow monster's cheeks. "A-anyway, there w-were some experiments on monsters with D-DT."

That caused a chill to come over Toriel, and she became more solemn, "On monsters? Did Asgore know?"

"H-he... um... he had monsters that had fallen down brought to my lab for the experiments," Alphys winced, "We, Asgore a-and I, had a theory th-that it was DT that kept humans from d-dying easily. And if we p-put DT in monsters, then m-maybe they w-wouldn't die easy. S-Sans found out after the experiments failed, s-so he didn't take p-part in...," She had that awkward smile on her face before she started talking nonstop. It took a while but Toriel got the basic information. What she did piece together sounded like a living nightmare.

"Alphys!" Toriel raised her voice to get the scientist to stop. Shocked, Alphys finally shut her mouth and sat there looking ashamed of herself. "If you want my opinion, I would have fired you had I known," to that, Alphys shrank down in her chair. Toriel sighed and looked away, "But you are not my Royal Scientist. You are Undyne's, and she chooses to forgive. I don't know how you, or your predecessor, got the DT, I can only guess. And I can see these experiments have already weighed heavy on you. While I would have forgiven you also, I personally expect more moral fiber from my scientist."

"I-I understand," Alphys squeaked out.

"That being said, I have also heard about many wonderful things you had invented from Sans. So, I know you have tried to do your best for monster kind. And Undyne seems to approve of having you as her scientist. Maybe my judgment would be wrong," Toriel smiled, "I guess we don't have to worry about finding out."

"Y-yes, though... after Undyne f-found out," the smaller monster looked down, "I think she... she l-looks at me d-different."

"But she hasn't abandoned you," Toriel hoped that would rebuild some confidence in the scientist.

"We'll see...," Alphys sighed.

Silence fell between the two, Toriel unsure what else to say to encourage Alphys; and, judging by Alphys's nervous behavior, she was scared to say much. It would be easy to blame all that happened to those monsters on Alphys, but she was not the only guilty party. Sadly, Asgore was unavailable to take his part of the blame.

"I-I don't suppose y-you'd be willing to, um, talk Sans i-into coming by the lab. There are a f-few things I... w-well, now that he's admitted to, uh... w-working at the lab before... s-somethings were left b-by the scientists before...," Alphys fidgeted while she said that. She seemed very nervous for some reason.

With a nod, Toriel said, "Of course, I see no harm in that. We need to head back and get our things if Undyne wants us to stay. We have nothing other than what is on our backs."

"O-oh, w-well if you want, I... um...," Alphys started but then stopped.

Toriel tilted her head, "Yes?"

"I-I have s-some spare clothes...," the scientist looked away, uncertain.

"Thank you, while I'm sure that could work for Sans, you two being around the same height, I don't think that would work for me," she appreciated the scientist's generosity and offered a friendly smile.

"A-actually, I... I s-sometimes... well, uh, m-make clothes? And I have some y-your size," again, Alphys looked away, embarrassed.

This was a pleasant surprise and Toriel smiled big, "Oh, that's wonderful, then. Do you have a dress? I would be honored to wear something you made."

Alphys flushed slightly and nodded, "I do, it is... uh... well... I'll b-bring it by later."

"Marvelous. Then I'll see about getting Sans out to your lab tomorrow on our way back to get our things. And in the clothes you provided," Toriel doubted Sans would object, after all, the two were friends, were they not?

 

* * *

 

Toriel finally returned, she breathed out a sigh of relief to be back in the shared room. She would far rather be home than here, but it was still better than nothing. It was quiet, and Sans was sitting in a chair by the unlit fireplace. He was very still, and must have fallen asleep, which is no surprise. She was ready to sleep herself. More accurately, she was looking forward to cuddling with him again.

She walked over to Sans, she planned to carry him to bed like she did yesterday. As she approached, she noticed his eye sockets were open but dark. He wasn't breathing, causing the stillness she noticed earlier, and he was holding something to himself. There was no acknowledgement to her being there, at all. The only other detail she had to go by was the shiny paper that had fallen to the floor.

Confused, she bent over to pick it up, and saw it was wrapping paper. That was odd to her, as far as she remembered, Gyftmas - or Christmas - wasn't for another few months. All of this gave her a very uneasy feeling that she wished would go away. Still there was no acknowledgement from Sans that she was here. The only sign of life she saw was the fact he wasn't dust.

"Did you get a gift?" she asked, puzzled, trying to get some reaction out of him. Anything would be better than now. His “dead” silence was giving her chills. But, he remained silent causing her to try again, "Sans?"

Finally. The palest of lights appeared in his sockets and he looked up at Toriel. He started to shiver and held the book even tighter to himself as tears appeared in his sockets. "it... was his favorite," was all he said before the lights disappeared again.

Worried, Toriel knelled in front of the chair, seeing the back of the book and reading the spine. Sans had told her about this book before, she knew about it and the meaning it held. "Sans, did someone give you this?" Toriel frowned. How did the book get here? He definitely didn't have the energy to go all the way to Snowdin and back, right?

The lights appeared again as his sockets narrowed. It went from a look of thought to anger, "someone was in his room."

With care, Toriel took the book from him and set it to the side on a table, "Maybe we can read it later, together. Or put it safely back in his room. You're tired, and I'm tired, so let's try to relax for a bit."

Sans's voice for a moment changed, there was a seriousness to it she had never heard him use before, "He was in my brother's room..."

"Sans?" Toriel asked while touching his skull, trying to ground him in the here and now.

Eye lights settled on Toriel and Sans's expression relaxed, "sorry, tori, yeah, let's rest for a bit."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still trying to perfect my evil laugh. I know this chapter has a few good points for an evil writer to practice their laugh with, but I think I need to get it down pat for some future chapters coming up... Can evil people just giggle? Does that count? I don't know, but I know I need to practice to be a [true evil master mind](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myKPSHPLUBo).


	13. A preamble down memory lane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the author decided to write a chapter that was mostly self-indulgent. The author will admit to no shame while still feeling ashamed. Oh... and some plot still happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Door has a beta reader now! (YEAH!) So that's fun. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this.

_“Honestly, I don’t think I have ever seen a froggit that small before,” Toriel said, smiling as she recounted her story. “Most monsters in the Ruins avoid me, I suppose I never really had the chance to see it until then.”_

_“why’d they do that? you’ve got to be the best conversationalist there,” her friend inquired before he added with a chuckle, “no offense to your moldsmal neighbors.”_

_Toriel hummed to buy time to think, as well as avoid an awkward silence. She hadn’t told her friend much about herself. This is only the third time they had chatted after sharing jokes, and mostly it had been small anecdotal stories for him to share with his brother. How much did she want him to know about her? “Ah, well, you see… I didn’t make that good of an impression on the monsters living here when I moved in.”_

_“okay,” he said. He could have pressed for more, but she was happy he didn’t. Perhaps he sensed she didn’t feel like discussing the matter. But then, he seems rather private himself, and maybe he just didn’t want to intrude on her privacy._

_“Now… where was I?” with that out of the way, she tapped her chin as she put herself back into story mode._

_“smallest froggit,” her friend offered._

_“Right, so there it was. Just this small green froggit, hopping along after the others, and I just couldn’t help myself but smile. I don’t think it was young; just small and cute,” She smiled._

_“heh,” was the response, and it was not one of his humor-filled chuckles. She wasn’t sure, but she worried something she said upset him._

_“Friend?”_

_“yeah?”_

_She steeled herself. He has yet to say a word about himself. Out of respect, she has not asked. After all, they were just strangers talking through a door. But, she really was worried that he was angry about something she said. Strangers or not, she had started considering him her friend. It bothered her that he went from happy and jovial to… well, she wasn’t sure. “Did I offend you?”_

_“what?” he sounded shocked, maybe she was overreacting? Afraid she jumped to a conclusion over a simple response, she bit her lip. This wasn’t the first time she just got an idea in her head and made an assumption. Maybe he just didn’t find her story that interesting, and now here she was making a big deal out of a simple chuckle._

_“I’m sorry, I just… you didn’t sound happy,” She decided to just be honest about it._

_“oh, uh… heh…,” now he was stalling. Was he upset?_

_Silence fell between them, and she worried she may have just bothered him more, “Dishes?”_

_“uh... you see…,” again silence. She figured that perhaps she should just give him a moment to think about how he wanted to respond. So, this time she waited, and her wait was rewarded, “i… i’m kind of… ‘space efficient,’ ‘vertically challenged,’ or ‘compact sized’ myself. And when i was younger i heard it a lot… anyway, after a while,being called cute for being small so many times, it kind of… gets tiring. so, i guess i sympathize with that little froggit, forever doomed to be the “cute” one of the group for being ‘height deficient.’” He tried to end it in a humorous tone, but she can tell he was hurting from the ‘small and cute’ comment._

_She made a mental note, if she ever met him in person, to avoid using the word cute to describe him physically. “I’m sorry, my friend,” she wished he could see her apologetic smile._

_“no worries,” she heard him shift a little, possibly to shrug. “it’s nothing really.”_

_“No, it upsets you,” she insisted._

_“it’s a common thing though. i can’t ask you to just stop.”_

_“My friend, I do not wish to be pushy on this matter; but, if it bothers you in the slightest, I’d rather not do it again. Yes, it is common, but I understand that it is an annoyance to you,” Toriel stated and heard him chuckle on the other side._

_“alright, thanks,” he sounded happy again._

_“You are welcome, my ‘travel sized’ friend,” she hoped he didn’t mind that slight bit of teasing._

_His laughter that followed hinted he didn’t, “don’t think i’ve heard that one before.”_

 

* * *

 

Sans woke, curled up in bed with Tori at his back. Not wanting to get up just yet, he remained still, lightly dozing. It was nice to wake peacefully like this, compared to the restless sleep from before. It was all thanks to the wonderful woman pressed against his back too, or so he chose to believe.

Tori’s rhythmic breathing had relaxed and grounded his mind. It allowed him to stay focused on the subtle movements her body made and kept his thoughts from venturing into the conversation from yesterday. Or worse, the darker areas of his mind, which is plagued with overall confusion about what really has happened in his life or lives.

Do other timelines count as another life? Are the Sans, or Sanses, from those timelines him, or an alternate him? If they were alternate hims, does that mean he was killed by the flower or did it kill the other, not really hims?

There was a slight pause in Tori’s breathing before she sighed. Feeling and hearing her chest fill with air dragged him back to the present and he soaked in the feel of her movement as she exhaled.

Thanks to her, he didn’t have to think about that, or anything else. He didn’t want to think of the kid or the flower. He didn’t want to think about his own death or what could have possibly happened had everything ended. No, he was done with that. Every part of him just wanted to be surrounded with the here and now, into Toriel.

… The book…

No, he didn’t even want to think about that right now, either.

Sans rolled over in Tori’s arms. He felt her shift, but not wake. Pleased with this, he buried his face in her fur. Like some sort of pie scented drug, he took in Tori’s scent, letting the thoughts of the events prior to this moment fade away. He wasn’t going to cry…

Nope, he wasn’t…

…

Okay, so he was, but that’s alright. That book meant so much to the brothers; so, of course, it would affect him this much. It meant he still cared that he’d feel his soul ache at its sight. And that’s a good thing, ...right?

Yes, it was, Papyrus was his dear little brother, and very important to him. The day he stopped caring about Papyrus is the day he hoped he stopped existing.

All this decided, he accepted his fate and stopped trying to hold back his tears. Toriel shifted again and pulled him in closer, somehow finding some previously unknown millimeter that separated them. That loving, large, paw-like hand began to pet the back of his skull in such a gentle manner. She didn’t offer any questions about why he was crying, or if he was okay. Perhaps she somehow understood. It wouldn’t be too far-fetched, considering all their talks… she did see the book in his hands after all. Instead, she started to hum some song.

At some point, he must have drifted off to sleep as he found himself waking up again, this time alone. Not fully, he could hear Tori moving around the room. Still, the bed didn’t feel right without her there. Fog from a waking mind clouded his thoughts, but he sat up slowly, stretched, and yawned. Tori looked over at him from the table in the room and smiled, “Good to see you’re finally up, _Sleepy Bones,_ ” He could see the concern on her face, and wondered what troubled her. “Feeling any better?”

She had to know how difficult the other day was for him, on top of everything else. That must be the source of her worry.

“yeah, heh. how long was i out?” He asked as he spotted food at the table. The pang of hunger radiated through his bones; he slid out of bed and wandered over to eat.

“A whole day, give or take an hour or two,” Tori said.

Sans balked at this at first. He has slept a long time before, but never that long, “you’ve _goat_ to be _kid_ ding me, tori.”

“It’s no _fib_ ula, Sansy,” she teased as he gave her a playful glare, “In that time I talked more with Alphys, and she did bring by some things for us to wear. I had informed her that we just had what we are currently wearing.”

“huh,” Sans said quietly, unsure if that last bit was a good or bad thing. He’s going to guess bad based on some of the things Alphys had convinced him to wear in the past.

Well… he didn’t mind too much, so long as it was within the confines of her lab, and not where others could see him. He has his whole “lazy-slob-of-a-cool-comedian” act to keep up. Dressing as a “galactic hero” from some random anime, that he admittedly enjoyed, does not count. That… or being a temporary model for her to make one of her own outfits, due to their height being nearly the same. Though he highly doubted she would have given him one of those to wear. Thank the angel and all things good in the world for that. Still, knowing her, he can’t help but pause and inwardly grimace as he wondered just what it was that the yellow dinosaur had in store for him.

“Sans?” Tori asked, tilting her head at him in that manner that is so endearing that it’s hard to look at her.

With a lazy shrug, he sat at the table, “will be interesting to see what she provided.” When he glanced back at Tori, she still had a puzzled look, but he offered a grin and a wink with his right eye, which elicited a smile from her that he clearly saw with his left.

After they ate they cleaned themselves up. Tori stepped out of the bathroom to fetch the new clothes as Sans looked at himself in the mirror. He had to admit, the sleep had done him some good. He looked less tired, and the darkness around his eyes had mostly vanished. Still, there was the unending look of exhaustion that plagued him.

When Tori reappeared, he could see she was blushing under her fur. That didn’t bode well, and he couldn’t help but worry again about what Alphys brought. He steeled himself, as he tried to prepare for the worst. “Sans…,” Toriel started hesitantly, “I’ll give you some of it to put on, but… I want you to close your eyes for the last of it.”

“t, what did she bring?”

“P-please Sans, I would... actually like to see you in this,” She looked away then back at him. There was a hint of nervousness and blush was still showing from under her fur. Like that, she looked too cute to say “no” to, not that denying her anything is ever easy.

With a reluctant sigh, he relented, “alright, tori.”

He put on a pair of light grey shorts with cyan blue lines running down the sides and along the pockets. Then a white short sleeve t-shirt. So far nothing seemed out of the ordinary. In fact, Alphys was kind enough to provide him with a new pair of white fuzzy slippers, which was nice. But now he was about to figure out what this last part was.

With a deep breath, he prepared himself for the worst and closed his eye sockets. Tori put on what felt like a normal hoodie. This confused him as he was unsure why she would want him to close his eye sockets over this. She pulled up the hood and he heard her step back and make a squeaking noise as if holding back some other sound she wanted to make. That made him wince and he opened his eyes and looked in the mirror.

It was a hoodie, light gray like the pants with cyan stripes along the back and on the hood like tiger striping. It would have looked cool if it wasn’t for the two, obvious, cat ears on the hood and the cat-like tail attached to the back.

Yup, there was that now familiar feeling of embarrassment creeping in. He understood that sound Tori held back was most likely a sound reserved for women when they look at something “cute.” It was hard enough being short. People automatically turn to the word cute when describing anything smaller than ordinary. Things like this just add to it.

And now he could see his blushing matches the stupid markings on the hoodie, much as his eye would when it glows cyan. Wincing slightly, he glanced at Tori. She was covering her mouth and smiling. He sighed and closed his eyes, cleared his thoughts, then looked in the mirror again. Giving in, he pulled the hood down to block out the vision. He’ll tolerate this… for her, and only her. “what’d she bring for you?”

“Oh, wait here, I’ll go put it on,” She walked out of the room while adding, “I’m not sure how it will look on me.”

Shoving his hands in his pockets he looked back in the mirror as he waited. He wondered what Alphys was trying to play at with this. As he thought about it, in the long run, he didn’t mind wearing this for Tori if it made her happy. Shrugging slightly, he turned a bit, looked at himself, and sighed. He didn’t look bad; if you can get past the annoying cuteness of it. But there was no way in hell he was going to let Undyne see him like this. She clearly already didn’t think he had any self-respect, and this would just add to that thought. Not that she was far off. He had it, he just stopped caring about it.

“Um, okay, I’m ready…,” Tori called. Sans walked out of the bathroom, prepared to see what over the top cute thing Alphys supplied Tori with. But what he saw would have stopped his heart if he had one. Instead, it caused his soul to freeze then feel as though it was having a spasm.

She was in a very elegant white dress. It was lightly accented with silver and gold around the sleeves, neckline, and flowing bottom. Around her waist is an elegant golden chain with a watch hanging from it on her right hip. The dress perfectly showed her figure while maintaining Tori’s usual elevated level of modesty. Tori looked at him shyly. Even as a queen she never wore anything like this before, preferring plain clothes, “How do I look?”

This was a struggle. He tried to speak but no words came out. He coached himself to get it together as he heard himself rattle a little. The rattle, as annoying and childish as it was, helped calm his nerves and he smiled at her, “it looks beautiful on you, tori.”

“Do you think it’s too much?” She asked, spinning slightly. The dress had a spot for her tail to be seen. The dresses Tori wears in the ruins cover her short, fluffy tail. He liked seeing it, really; and, he was happy most of her pajamas have space for it. But, in this dress, it ended up being that last thing that caused him to start feeling unsteady. She was just that beautiful.

Well, she was always that beautiful. She just hid it under layers of loose hanging clothes, and self-conscious worries of being too old to dress this way.

Raising a hand to his mouth he took a step back. He felt his magic in his face, and the world was being filtered out by its hum. He struggled to clear his nonexistent throat to utter a quiet reply, “n-no tori.” The room was spinning, and his already empty skull was feeling lighter than normal. He cleared his throat again and looked down, “i, uh, think i’m going to sit because i’m about to _fall for you_.”

“Sans, are you alright?” She asked as she hurried over and knelt beside him. He felt her pull the hood off his head and start to touch his skull. He didn’t fight it, letting himself rattle again as he covered his face with his hands. “Oh my,” She said before he felt her lift him and place him on her lap.

“tori, why? why do you love me?” He lowered his hands and looked at her, “you deserve so much better. you’re so… so… everything wonderful in this world. so, why would you ever want to put up with me?”

She hugged him tight to herself, “I don’t put up with you, Sans, I love you. You make me so happy.” She loosened her grip and pulled the hood back over his head and smiled, “You’re my personal Cheshire cat.”

Ah, that’s what he was supposed to be.

“ah, wonderland, that the theme alphys was going for… so i guess you’re the white queen… or rabbit… both?” Sans looked at the watch with thoughtfulness, “i read those books to pap a long time ago, so i’m a bit rusty with them. but i think she was going for both.” He then sighed and looked up at Tori again, “alright, i’ll wear this out of the room as long as you help me avoid undyne. so, uh, if i take a short cut and leave you seemingly alone with her, don’t worry, i’m just out of sight. i won't leave you. i promise.”

Tori frowned a little, “I’m sorry if I got in between you two. I’m sure you’d both be closer if I wasn’t here.”

“not really, t. the only thing that kept us from killing each other all these years was pap. our personalities just don’t mesh well. she’s all energetic, motivated, and aggressive while I’m laid back, lazy, and _punny_.”

They sat a moment longer, which gave Sans the time he needed to calm his magic. Once he felt stable, Sans stood and stretched his arms up to maximize stretching out his back as much as possible. This action caused a few good pops from his spine, relieving some tension.

Toriel giggled, and when Sans smiled back at her she said in an amused tone, “I’m beginning to think you’re more cat like than you know.” He looked away as she stood, and considered what she said. Okay, she had him there. Based on what he knows of cats, he did have a cat personality. She didn’t let him think long though, as she continued, “Well, Alphys was hoping you’d go through the True Lab with her. I figured you could, after we stop off in the Ruins to get our things. I asked if I could come and she said it was fine with her as long as you’re fine with it.”

Sans thought for a moment. She must have sent the amalgamates home then or she was hoping Sans would say ‘no.’ Welp, if it was the latter, she should know that he won’t say ‘no’ to Tori that easy. She must have since she did send the hoodie, “i’m _feline_ with it. a- _fur_ all, i did _purr_ mise to tell you about myself; and, there is a distinct _paws_ ability something may come up while we are there.”

Tori was laughing, and she reached out for his hand which he willingly gave, “Oh the _tails_ you may tell.”

 

* * *

 

He just wanted to stay. Forget the rest of the underground, other than Grillby and Alphys, he really didn’t care what was going on out there. Well, maybe Undyne too, even if there were bitter feelings. Still, he tried hiding this, though he was sure Toriel could see right through him. He was, after all, just bone.

If he was inclined to place a wager, he’d bet she felt the same. The main difference is, Tori has a sense of duty. Sans, on the other hand, was not above just running away. At one time, responsibility really meant something to him, but life saw an end to that. For now, he will let Tori’s integrity guide him, and avoid pressuring her to go against her conscience. After all, that sounds like a lot of work.

Knowing what he should do, Sans ambled down to the room he had called his own prior to sharing with Tori. While he had somewhat moved in with her, the move was not complete. He suspected that was to keep his messes out of her space. Honestly, he was fine with that. It took a while to gather the few things he called his own. He was tempted to leave most of it, though, he’d be the worst pet rock owner if he left Geode behind. And there were the clothes Tori insisted on getting him. He wasn’t about to waste her money by leaving them behind. In the end, he packed up more things he ever thought he would. He chuckled to himself at the oddity of this. It was uncomfortable in a way, as he was never one for worrying about his own things.

Things can disappear...

He opted to ignore that thought and started toward the sitting room. Tori should need longer, he figured, so he would wait. Though, he should check to make sure she didn’t need help first. He paused at her room, or their room. It was still mostly Tori’s, but she insisted he started using it more. Memories of the nights they spent here did cause an ache in his soul. That feeling vanished as he saw Tori sitting on her bed, tear matted fur under her eyes.

“hey, tori?” but she didn’t reply or look at him. Instead, her gaze was focused on a book. As he got closer he saw it was a photo album, within, were a series of smiling faces. All young and most human, save for one monster, which he could see a clear resemblance. It didn’t take much thought to figure out that was her son, Asriel. Sans looked from the album and back up to her, he understood now what was wrong. This house had been where she had lived with those human children for varying degrees of time. Leaving was not going to be easy, even if it ended up being good for her.

He remembered her being subdued when she came to the kingdom to rule after Asgore’s death. Had she felt these feelings before, during that time? She went from one place filled with painful memories to another, then back again only to repeat the process yet again. Well, this time she is not alone.

Sans walked closer and climbed up on the bed next to her. Finally, he saw her head move slightly, acknowledging him being there, though she did not say anything. He just leaned against her and closed his eye sockets. He wrapped an arm around her back the best he could, just being there for her seemed like the best opinion.

Tori seemed to accept it as he felt her lean slightly into him, though he regretted he was not bigger, so she would feel able to lean on him more. They sat in silence until Tori finally felt ready to talk, “Thank you, Sans.”

“don’t mention it, tori,” he replied.

“Was it hard for you when you left home?”

“heh,” Sans sighed and shook his head, “in a way, but i really didn’t want to go home. not to an empty, quiet house that i was used to being full of a happy, loud brother.”

They sat in silence again before Tori nodded, “I understand that, I might have felt that way if I was in the same situation.”

“i heard someone say that how we all grieve is different, t. that includes when we grieve too. took a while before i properly did,” Sans sighed.

“It is continual. I’m not going to be able to wake up one morning and never shed a tear ever again for Chara, Asriel, or any of my children. But,” she closed the photo album with a shuddering sigh, “I can now move forward.”

Sans watched as she stood and placed the book in her bag to go with her. In that moment she looked so stoic and elegant. She wasn’t just physically strong, that was clear to see. When she looked up at him, with a smile, he smiled back. His grin must have been a little weird as he saw her snout wrinkle a little as she held back a giggle.

He tried to shift the focus, “so, uh, want help packing?”

“No, I think I’ve got it. Thank you for asking. But, please stay, I need the company,” she looked happy save for a hint of sorrow in her eyes. It was masked well enough that to most it would be easy to overlook, but he spotted it.

“sure thing, t,” he offered a reassuring smile and stayed with her as she finished collecting her things.

He sat and watched, patient as always, as she worked. Then again, patience is easy when it is doubly easy to fall asleep. It was Toriel touching his cheek that woke him up. He hadn’t meant to drift off like that.

“Hello, dear one,” she said, lowering her head down, looking at him eye to eye.

“heya, tori,” he smiled back at her, lost in her eyes.

They had kiss plenty of times before; so, when Toriel leaned in close that was what Sans was expecting to happen. What he hadn’t expected was her nose to nuzzle over his nasal bone and cavity. Nor was he expecting how it would feel. How warm, soft, velvety, and ticklish it would be as her nose rubbed where his would have been. It felt good. He chuckled and tried to nuzzle back, though he doubted it would have even half of the same effect. Still, it caused her to continue and even push him over on to his back, not that he would ever mind.

It wasn’t until they were both a fit of giggles did the nuzzling stop. They remained on the bed, on top of the sheets. Tori was cuddling him so close that he had no option but to cuddle back. Again, he wasn’t about to mind. It felt good. It felt like home. If only…

If only Papyrus was alive…

And at least one of the kids for Tori. All would be great, but one didn’t seem too much to ask for. Yet, each one became lost to her, one way or another. It didn’t seem fair. Sans thought he was a good brother. He’d never admit to great, but good? Sure. And Tori? She had to be the greatest mother down here. Despite these facts, Sans was sans a brother and Tori, a child.

Sans managed to free his left arm from her embrace so he could pet Tori’s ear. In response, she started to laugh, which sent shivers through him. No matter how many times he heard that sound, it was always beautiful. Every “ha”, every undignified snort, and every adorable bleat just felt like a grand piece of artwork.

They stayed like that until, eventually, Tori’s sense of responsibility caught up with her.

 

* * *

 

With one of Sans’s shortcuts, they were in front of the laboratory of Dr. Alphys in no time. Sans was about to knock but Toriel put a hand on his shoulder and smiled, “I’ve got one, may I?”

She smiled big as he took a step back and gestured toward the door in a half bow to let her know it was all hers. Knocking twice she heard a voice within call, “W-who is it?”

“Purr,” Toriel called back.

She heard footsteps as Dr. Alphys walked closer, obvious confusion in her voice as she replied, “Wait, w-what? Purr who?”

“Purr-haps you could open the door be-fur too long?” Toriel smiled as she heard Sans holding back a snicker beside her.

“i figured it was about _time_ for us to get _hare_ , so _white_ don’t you let us in,” Sans added and the two laughed.

Alphys opened the door, allowing them to enter. Toriel was amazed as she walked in and looked around the lab. Other than the mess here and there, especially around the computer desk, it looked impressive. She looked back to Alphys to say something, but she noticed Sans was staring at the Doctor. His hood obscured his face, but she had an idea of what it looked like as Alphys avoided looking at him.

“Sans?” She said, trying to get his attention from the Doctor.

It worked, and he turned to face her. She is sure his eye sockets were not lit as his head turned. But, by the time he finished turning his head, they were. Frowning, she wondered what that was about, “yes, my queen?”

“S-Sans!” Toriel felt herself blush.

“what?” He said as he walked over to her, “right al? she’s a mix of the white queen and the white rabbit.” Alphys nodded slightly, her scales a slight pink around her face, but he wasn’t paying attention. He must have noticed he caused Toriel to feel flustered and decided to play with that a bit as she had done to him in the past. “so, if i’m your cheshire cat, as i seem to remember you saying,” he said before purposefully rubbing against Toriel’s side while making a purring like sound, “then you’re my queen.”

There was a squealing like sound coming from the part of the room Alphys was in. Toriel saw her face scales were a red color now and her hands were pressed, palms together in front of her snout. Sans had flinched and froze in place, his face showing signs of sudden regret. Slowly he turned to face Alphys, his voice made an eerie echoing sound as he said, “ **D O N ’ T** ”

There was an odd, twisted grin on Alphys face, “I dare you to stop me.”

Toriel was confused by what was going on between them. She looked down at Sans who is palming his face muttering something to himself. Alphys, on the other hand, was giggling as if gleefully enjoying Sans’s embarrassment. “I think I’m missing something,” Toriel finally said, admitting she was at a complete loss.

“al likes to write what is called ‘fanfiction.’ the only problem is, she has a bad habit of not just writing about fictional characters, but also real people,” Sans said as he slowly pulled his hand down from his face, “and i, stupidly, and without thinking, just threw fuel onto that fire.”

“Oh,” Toriel said before what Sans told her fully sunk in, “Oooooh…” She stood there quietly as a guilty feeling washed over her, “May… may I read it?”

“what?!” Sans said, his voice getting surprisingly loud for him.

“Of course!” Alphys clapped happily and sprang into action, practically skipping across the lab to them as she rattled on almost incoherently about the fiction she was working on. She then blushed, again as she offered Toriel a small stack of printed papers that she had placed in a folder, “um, well... I-I won’t say anymore a-about it... Um… if you w-want to do some proofreading, well, uh... that would be, erm, appreciated.”

“I can do that, thank you,” Toriel smiled, glancing in the folder and making a mental note of the story’s title, The Door. How fitting.

“you really shouldn’t encourage her,” Sans sighed.

Chuckling, Toriel reached over and lightly tugged on one of the false ears on Sans’s hood. She saw one of his hands reach up and tug down on the hood to cover his face as he looked away. A patient smile crossed her mouth, feeling herself blush as she watched him. Setting the folder to the side to pick up when they leave, she turned back to Sans, who was still averting his eye lights. She could understand that all of this together has been hard on his ego, and decided to ease back a little bit… after they get to the lab. Reaching down she hugged him and lifted him up. He chuckled, and she felt him start to relax, “Now, as some may say, ‘to the lab!’” In her head, she heard a voice she thought she remembered saying that, but with far more enthusiasm. As to who the owner of that voice was, she couldn’t remember.

Alphys giggled and led the way to the elevator, “E-excuse the mess. I, um, don’t go down there m-much. I’ve also k-kept most of it locked off… so, uh… I haven’t seen i-it in a while.” She stepped off the elevator and flicked on a light. Pausing, Alphys looked back at Sans, “I-I’ve been, um, thinking of the f-fact you used to work here. And, um… w-well, I think I k-kind of remember t-that. Yet, I don’t? I remember being an i-intern here, and, um… that’s it. I don’t remember what I worked on then.”

“you and pretty much everyone underground,” Sans put a hand on Toriel’s shoulder, signaling he wanted to be put down. She carefully set him down and Sans took her hand to escort her off the elevator.

“How is that?” Toriel asked, “I remember that there was a royal scientist before Alphys, but I also have no memory of them.”

Sans let go of her hand and looked around the room. He shuffled towards a door as if by memory and looked about to open it when Alphys quickly moved over and started to unlock it for him. He looked back at Toriel as he waited, “who made the core? something so important, surely every monster in the underground would know the name of the person who invited our energy source.”

Toriel started to speak but stopped, she had never thought of that before, and her mind was drawing a blank. What Sans said made sense, and yet no matter how hard she tried she could not think of the name of the person who created the CORE. She looked at Alphys who was deep in thought.

Both herself and Alphys looked to Sans whose eyes darkened before he gave a low, humorless chuckle and walked through the door. No, humorless wasn’t the right word for that one. It was more of a tired chuckle, one she might have heard from a monster who wanted to acknowledge that they found something humorous but was too tired to laugh. That caused Toriel to give pause, remembering what he had said. All the things he ends up remembering, and yet this is another thing that he alone seems to be the sole keeper.

“his name was dr. w.d. gaster. he was a brilliant man, though a little off kilter at times, especially when he had a big idea in his head. i remember... working with him… i remember what some of our projects were about though, in a hazy, foggy way. i knew him as a person too, and i remember that i knew him, but my memories of him are cloudy and weak.” Walking down the halls he ran his bony fingers along the wall and looked around. His voice seemed at peace, yet his body seemed tense; as if expecting something bad to happen at any moment.

His cautiousness lead her to feel uneasy. “it’s funny, i remember having some of the happiest memories i can’t remember here… and yet… there is a nagging feeling… not sure, it just feels like something bad happened,” He looked back at Toriel and Alphys, “weird, huh?”

Toriel looked around. The halls were a neutral, sterile white color that made the area bright but not warm. There were doors spread along the walls, some labeled as the office of one person’s or another's. She wondered if one of them would be Sans’s, and what state he would have left it in.

“Sans, w-what happened to Dr. Gaster?” Alphys asked quietly.

The skeleton stopped and shrugged, “one of those things i don’t remember, but i think it was an accident. if i had to guess it was with our, uh, time and space experiments.”

“Time and space?” Toriel heard herself ask. She bit her lip, curious but at the same time unsure he wanted to talk about it as she could hear a heaviness in his tone.

“yeah, see, gaster discovered what we just called ‘shortcuts.’  and he wondered if it would be possible to apply what we learned, about moving through space, to time. we did, kind of, but we needed to do so on a much larger scale. for what, eh, i don’t remember, but i do remember he was the type to ask why after he invented something,” Sans shrugged and looked at Alphys, “so, we made a machine to do that with, though i don’t remember it working. anyway, he somehow wrote himself out of history in every way possible. it’d make sense to me if that was the project,” Sans then frowned, “but, uh, i’m not sure. he might have just fallen in the core for all i know. always wondered why he never put safety rails up.

“so, al, what did you need me for?” Sans put his hands in his pockets, wearing a smile on his face. But his voice told a different story. As even toned as he may believe he was keeping it, she didn’t hear the happiness his smile claimed. Months of just knowing him by voice alone had taught her that. It wasn’t that he was upset or scared. He just looked emotionally tired being here. Perhaps, having memories that he wished to, but couldn’t, remember was weighing on him. Or perhaps there were things he didn’t want to remember? No, she highly doubted the latter. She wasn’t sure why, but that didn’t feel right.

Alphys waved for him to follow and they walked down the hall chatting about matters she had to admit to herself she knew nothing about. Toriel noticed at one-point Sans glancing back at her as if checking to make sure she was alright. She smiled back at him and he winked before returning his full attention to Alphys.

As they walked past a hallway, Toriel came to a stop. A feeling of…

anger?

Or was it just annoyance or frustration?

She had been here before. She knew this hallway well, having been emotionally charged at the time she had walked down it. Toriel turned to call to Sans and Alphys, but they were so lost in their own conversation she held her tongue. Splitting off didn’t seem like the smartest idea. Yet, she felt the need to venture down this path and try to remember what it was she had been doing, or why she had been there.

No more thought had been put into which option she should take, as her feet had already started.

 

* * *

 

Eventually Sans stopped at a set of doors labeled ‘Lab A-1.’

“There are a few things in here I don’t u-understand,” Alphys opened the door, “if you could, um, shed some l-light on what some of this is...”

“i’ll do my best al, but you’re asking a pho _ton_ of me,” Sans walked in and looked around the large lab. It almost hurt, as he felt a flood of nostalgia that he struggled to understand. It felt like home, or, at least, a second home. He needed time to let these feeling calm down in his soul, and took a moment to relax. In the process, he ran a finger over a work table before examining the dust. He couldn’t help but snort as he held back laughter while a voice in his head yelled out, “UNACCEPTABLE! How can one make a mess working if there is already a mess made?!”

With a sigh, Sans put his hand back in his pocket and turned to Alphys, “where do you want me to start?”

“How about this?” Alphys asked, pointing to a pod-shaped object.

Upon seeing it, Sans couldn’t help but grin as he walked over. Ah, the memories he couldn’t remember. All he knew was that he was happy working on this, and what it was for. They really were going to try; they had an idea and thought it might solve everything. He walked over to an odd machine and walked around it. His sockets scanned it over with care, making sure it had made it through sitting in this dark and lonely place without a scratch. This was just the first attempt though; the second attempt was in his lab for safekeeping.

“this is the ‘time and space pod,’” Sans finally said as he placed a hand on it with reverence. “i wanted to make it more rectangular, paint it blue, and call it the tardis, after the machine in that human show, dr. who.”

“H-how would I know, I never saw it,” Alphys replied.

That shocked Sans and he looked at her, “no, that’s the name of… you haven’t seen it? i never showed you a single episode?”

“N-no?” Alphys gave him that smile that said, ‘you could have, but if so I didn’t like it and don’t remember it.’

Sans sighed and shook his head, “Seriously? Of all the geeky, human things you're into you’ve never heard of it?” When Dr. Alphys shrugged he looked back at the machine and patted it twice, “best store this somewhere under ‘bad idea’ unless we can clear it of the ‘possibly killed pops’ charges”

“Pops?”  Alphys looked at him in surprise.

Sans paused, noticing what he just said. It came out of his mouth so naturally too. ‘pops.’ Come to think of it, he had, in talking with Papyrus, said “dadster” a few times, instead of Gaster. Papyrus had suggested the notion of them being related...

Still, Alphys was staring at him and expecting a reply. He wasn’t sure he was fully ready to commit to the idea and just shrugged. Not to his surprise, Alphys folded her arms, “Really? You have n-no idea why you called him ‘Pops’ just then?”

“none,” he replied, feigning disinterest. It is a matter to think about later when he wasn’t already being bombarded by other emotions. He glanced over to see how Toriel was taking his avoidance of the question.

…

“uh... where’s tori?”

Alphys looked around, “oh, oh my, we must have… o-oh dear... W-well, there is n-nothing in the lab that can hurt her.”

That didn’t matter to him, and he couldn’t help but fear the worst. There was too much here he no longer knew. He walked to the lab entrance and looked up and down the hall, “tori?” She was nowhere to be seen and he heard no reply.

She was right behind them, when did she fall behind or disappear?

“tori!” he started back down the hall, the only sound in response was the patter of Alphys’s feet behind him.

He stopped at an open office to look in, as well as some of the other labs, all the while he still called for her. Alphys was right, it was safe here, now… in theory. No… it isn’t safe. There could still be things in this lab that could hurt someone who didn’t know any better. “TORI!” he hated raising his voice that loud, but he felt he had to.

A hand landed on his shoulder and he looked back to see Alphys, “Sans! Y-you need to calm down.” Alphys waved a hand in the air to direct his attention to above himself. When he looked he could see two blasters hovering over him.

He unsummoned them while uttering a curse under his breath. He’ll admit, he got more worked up than needed. He won’t find Toriel like this. Still, it isn’t safe, what was so dangerous here he wasn’t fully sure, but it wasn’t safe.

“Now, let’s look, I’m sure we’ll find her,” Alphys offered a reassuring smile. Normally, it is the other way around, with Sans calming her down. It felt weird having their roles reversed.

“heh.... yeah,” Sans tried to relax and the two started their search.

 

* * *

 

Toriel stared at the wall ahead of her. The path she took somehow lead to a dead end that seemed to be random compared to how the rest of the lab was designed. Every hall she saw before had a purpose and lead somewhere. This one, though, was the only exception. Granted, there might have been plans for something to be here at one point that wasn’t finished. So, all there was in front of her was a wall.

She touched the wall, running her hand over it. Her head hurt as she tried to think, trying to recall the feeling she had. There really should be something else here, but she had no idea what. And trying to remember was exhausting to the point that she felt she needed to lie down. She patted the wall and started to turn back.

Sure, she reached a dead end, but she now knew she had been here before. That the little notion in her head was more than that. While she didn’t find what she had split off to look for, it did reassure her to know this new fact. Why had she been here, and why had she been so angry? Those are the next questions she will have to answer. But just trying to think about them made her head feel sharp, radiating pain from her temples. After she’s had a chance to rest, she’ll try again.

“tori!” Toriel heard Sans’s voice and looked up to see the skeleton jogging over, which was a rare sight. As he approached she could feel his magic was on edge, and she couldn’t help but feel guilty. Clearly, she had caused him to worry, which had not been her intent.

Once he was close she embraced him and sighed, “I’m sorry, I was chasing a memory and only found a headache.”

“D-do you need something for it?” Alphys asked, walking closer.

With some thought, Toriel nodded, “I think so.” Alphys told her where she could find the med kit upstairs. Within it, she would find painkillers, and the Doctor invited her to just sit and close her eyes if needed.

Sans confirmed that it won’t take them much longer and for her to just rest if her head was hurting. Though, as she turned to leave, Alphys spoke up, “Oh! One other thing.”

“Yes?” Toriel asked, looking back at the two. Sans was also looking at Alphys as if wondering what it was she had to say.

“It s-seems,” Alphys got a mischievous look on her face which did not get a happy response from Sans, who now looked worried and concerned. The Doctor ignored him though and continued without a care, “that Gaster is Sans’s father.”

“al, we don’t know that for sure,” Sans looked annoyed.

“You called him ‘Pops’,” Alphys huffed, “why else w-would you do that!”

The two started to have a small dispute over what that could mean. Toriel couldn’t follow it, as her head fogged with memories struggling to surface. Something about that was trying to draw information to the forefront, but it couldn’t. All it did was make her head feel even worse.

“tori, you okay?”

Tori didn’t remember kneeling down, but Sans was there beside her, holding her hand and looking at her with worried eye sockets. She smiled, but the room spun around her, adding a dizzying feeling to her disorientation.

“I just need to take care of this headache and lie down,” Toriel smiled at him the best she could.

“i can take us back if you want,” Sans offered, but she shook her head.

“I know, but really, I think I just need a moment. You said you won’t be much longer. That should be enough for me to feel well enough to go back to the castle.”

Sans looked at her, she could tell his sockets were searching for any hint that she may change her mind. Once he was satisfied, he nodded. He helped her up the best he could, and she made her way to the elevator. Once upstairs she found the med kit, took two pills and found a quiet place to sit. Today has not been an easy one. No wonder her head was starting to hurt.

She looked down at the dress and sighed. It was a very nice dress, but it just felt too modern for her. But, Sans clearly liked it, so she will endure it a while longer. If it meant seeing him practically buckle in on himself every time she smiled at him, it was worth it.

Toriel started to close her eyes when she remembered the story Alphys had been writing. When her body felt like it could withstand getting back up, Toriel retrieved the folder and settled back to read. For now, she intended to read only until her head hurt too much, or she decided she couldn’t take anymore.

 

 

> He stood with his back to the Ruin door, as he had done plenty of times before. The wind rushed by him, carrying a haunting tone as it moved through the trees. Snow drifting down, dancing around him. Most monsters avoid the doors of the past, but not him. They had become a game, a toy of his amusement. Today, though, they would become more.
> 
> “knock knock,” he said, in his usual quiet, masculine, deep tone of voice. One would hardly think anyone would hear it, the start of his joke. But someone did.
> 
> “Who’s there,” came the reply. Soft, sweet, and filled with feminine grace.
> 
> It startled him. And he jumped as if the doors had shocked him. The look in his eyes was a mix of panic and intrigue. Never before had he thought his knocking would be answered. There was hesitation. Perhaps he heard wrong? Needing to get out pent up energy, he shifted his feet while rubbing the back of his neck, “dishes.”
> 
> “Dishes who?” the voice replied.
> 
> He was still unsure what to think of this occurrence. It had to be a fluke. It just seemed unreal that someone would be here. “dishes a really bad joke,” he said, as he tried to settle back into his rhythm.
> 
> Just as he had started to relax she laughed, and what a laugh it was. Again, he was startled, but what he was unaware of was the faint hint of blush painting his cheekbones. His smile widened as he chuckled back. It was just them, their laughter, and the unknown camera in the bushes. Originally set to look for humans, it now captured their budding romance, under the watchful gaze of the great scientist, who would guard this love from those who would stop it.

 

The writing didn’t seem bad, a bit dramatic for her taste, but it brought back memories of when they had met at the Ruin doors. She smiled while reading it, seeing his reaction clearly drawn out in her mind by Alphys’s words. It felt like him, though she didn’t believe there was a high likelihood that he was blushing at her first laugh.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... This chapter started with me going "I want to dress Sans up as a cat." That's really the only thought that went into it at the start. This is the type of sophisticated logic that goes into my chapter planning, folks. Also, keep in mind, that I actually wrote this BEFORE posting the first chapter. Since then, I have seen many artists decide to dress Sans up as a cat. So, I am clearly NOT the only who thinks this is something that should happen.


End file.
